Culture
People on TikTok BEGGING for Money is Unhinged (Sad Fishing for Money)
In this episode of the Bruegel Friends Podcast, hosts Jen and Jill delve into the phenomenon of 'beg talk' on TikTok, where users openly solicit money from strangers. They explore the implic...
People on TikTok BEGGING for Money is Unhinged (Sad Fishing for Money)
Culture •
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Interactive Transcript
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People on TikTok begging for money is unhinged.
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Welcome to the Bruegel Friends Podcast,
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where you'll learn to save money,
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embrace simplicity, and live a richer life.
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Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.
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If you've been scrolling on TikTok,
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you may have been served a live stream of someone
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literally crying on camera,
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asking strangers to send them money,
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whether it's for rent or groceries or emotional support.
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It's all starting to feel unhinged.
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Yeah, we're both huge advocates for generosity,
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both at an organizational and one-on-one level.
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But this new wave of sad fishing for cash on social media,
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is it just annoying?
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It's part of a bigger, more insidious problem on social media.
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So today we're going to break down
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what's really going on.
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How social media has turned struggle into a brand,
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how these trends exploit both empathy and algorithms,
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and how it may be affecting you without you
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even ever giving a dime.
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Welcome, Bruegel friends.
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I'm Jen.
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I'm Jill.
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And today we are looking at the direct
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and indirect effects of beg talk.
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And what it is having on your finances,
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whether you are falling for it,
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being generous, giving money, or not.
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So Jill, what do you know about beg talk?
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Literally nothing until yesterday,
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when you said that this is what we're going to do
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at the start.
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So now I know some things, for sure,
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but it's not as if I'm unfamiliar
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with people asking for money, right?
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But I think I am realizing that it is ramping up.
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Yeah.
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So I learned about this, where I learned about all good things,
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you two.
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And I was watching videos.
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And then I realized we actually had a tenant
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that didn't do this,
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but was part of where this all started.
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So a lot of this,
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this whole phenomenon kind of started with TikTok lives.
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And when TikTok lives started,
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it was this place where you could like,
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I guess play games or talk to other people
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and people vote on you and make money.
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And we had a tenant either last summer
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or whenever this started,
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who literally this was her full time gig.
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I don't know if it still is,
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but she made all of her money
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enough where she could kind of travel the country
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and live for a couple months,
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wherever she wanted.
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And she just got on TikTok live every night
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and made money.
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She said she would made like around 600 bucks a session.
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That's insane.
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Yeah.
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I knew that people would make money gaming.
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Like people would pay to watch people
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gaming on it's like on Twitch.
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Yes.
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And I peripherally know somebody
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who makes money that way,
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but just going on TikTok lives
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and asking people for money,
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I think sometimes maybe answering questions for money,
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that's a new concept for me.
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It is new on TikTok.
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So when TikTok live was trying to like ramp up
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this money making aspect,
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they were actually inviting influencers on.
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And I don't know how they were incentivizing them,
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but you got some pretty well-known influencers
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like comedian Jason Nash
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who is a comedian, writer, actor, director,
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YouTuber with like over 2 million subscribers.
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He's had like a 20 year career and stand up.
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And he found himself several years ago
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screaming on TikTok live for cash.
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Hey,
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we learned something on that one screaming does not work.
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Now look, would I be on TikTok live
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if I wasn't in like a financial hole?
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I don't know, probably not.
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But also like YouTube wasn't really working
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and I needed to find something.
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TikTok wasn't working and so I needed to find something.
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Like why not this?
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Let's give it a try.
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Let me just a business plan for us maybe.
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Yes, potentially.
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So but that was several years ago.
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And so now TikTok live has had an evolution
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to where on the extreme,
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people are just straight up asking for money.
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And there are still ways that you can like do this.
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You know, you know,
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yell for money, I guess.
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But they're not doing it that way.
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So guys, I need to come up with 60 bucks to get to work
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and have enough for get what I was just trying to get enough
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for gas and get something to eat, bro.
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That's literally it.
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Literally hungry and I just like I can't even go get food
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because I don't have gas if I could even get money for food.
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I need $840, guys.
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And I hate asking TikTok, bro.
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I literally don't even I don't even want to come on here
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and like ask for money.
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So I'm asking this home, please help me out just until tomorrow.
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We're like 20 or 30 bucks and I promise you I will pay it back.
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Don't can anybody in here help us out.
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We would greatly appreciate it.
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Paypal cash up then mo.
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Thanks.
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Any donation.
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Why back for money?
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If you don't like me begging for money,
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you need to unfollow me or block me.
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I'm going to keep begging for money.
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The only way you guys stop.
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The only way you guys making stop is you get my all my accounts gone.
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I don't have to ask people.
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But if I don't ask, I take.
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So that is the precipice of where we're at with bank talk.
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That's wild.
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I think yeah, it's definitely an example of something larger
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that's happening societally.
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And why not take advantage of like an opportunity to reach
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that I take.
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And thank you.
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The only is not giving to you strangers.
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My I mean, thank you to penny fairy for documenting all these
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because these are on lives and they don't necessarily get saved.
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It penny fair is an account on tick talk that will give a penny
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to any beggar that's on tick talk and then record the reaction.
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So a lot of these will have reactions to penny fairy giving
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them a penny and it's definitely not suitable not suitable for
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work language.
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Right.
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Wow.
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I bet they're not super thrilled about that.
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There is.
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Yeah.
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There are a ton of videos on this person's account.
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But it's begging is an extreme example.
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I think of the bigger problem on social media and it's
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something that we're not.
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I don't think I would necessarily fall prey to that.
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I don't know what do you think if something came across your
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feed like that and you were unfamiliar with the bigger culture
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right.
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A bank talk like what would be your instinct?
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I think I would keep swiping.
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Honestly.
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And I think probably because I don't know that person.
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I'm not connected to them.
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But it probably depends on what other context they are giving
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in the situation.
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But I'm not super likely to be enthralled by something like that.
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Okay.
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But what if it was a viral video of a mom crying about making her
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kids cupcakes to have something to celebrate her birthday
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with.
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And this video was seen over four and a half million times.
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Do you mean Elizabeth Tekken Brock with over 300 followers?
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300,000 followers on TikTok.
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Yeah.
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That one.
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The cupcake mom.
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So if you're watching the video, we've posted like a silent
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clip of a bit of that viral video of this beautiful young
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mom who is crying while making cupcakes.
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And this garnered so much attention.
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So much like people like pouring their hearts out like
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wanting to try to help this poor mom.
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And so much so that she that garnered her over 300,000
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followers on TikTok.
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But that is just a snippet of someone's life.
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This is allegedly the real Elizabeth Tekken Brock.
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Okay.
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Do you guys remember the crying cupcake mom?
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She made this video about how hard it is to have to make your own
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cupcakes on your birthday when you're a single mom.
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And it ended up getting millions of views and support only
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for her ex-husband to make a video coming out and going,
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whoa, whoa, whoa, this lady is a liar.
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And you guys are all getting scammed.
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He ended up coming out with hard evidence that this woman does
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not even have custody of her kids because she faked having cancer,
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faked lymphoma and also has a rap sheet for numerous frauds and
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scams she'd been running.
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This would lead to a very loud, very public back and forth of
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accusations between Elizabeth who goes by more than Elizabeth
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online and Andrew who goes by inventing Elizabeth.
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And somehow despite Andrew having all of the hard evidence and
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Elizabeth's story being inconsistent and questionable at best
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because pretty privileges a thing,
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Elizabeth is the one who ended up winning the public favor.
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Andrew continued to try to warn people about all of the chaos and
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BS Elizabeth has put him and many other people through.
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But because Elizabeth continued to craft this elaborate
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sob story and even accused Andrew of such things as covering
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her in bruises, his comment sections remained filled with hatred
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and vitriol.
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Two years this guy tried to warn you about this lady and you
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refused to believe him.
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And now look at this.
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I know that I've heard a lot of people in my life.
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And I always ends up that way.
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It is a cycle that I do time and time again.
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And I also will say most not all but most of what makes
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has been tested on the life online is true.
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Yeah, you heard that right.
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Elizabeth just admitted that she's been bellgibsening at this
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whole time.
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And just like bellgibs and her excuses are vague.
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She says that almost everything he said was true,
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but you really need to clarify at this point because again,
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you literally accused him of laying hands on you.
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You told everyone he was lying and now because she's finally
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been backed into a corner because so many of her ex friends are
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coming out and telling the truth about her.
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She thinks that this very vague maybe I did do something wrong
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is going to fix it all full secusations ruin lives lady.
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Yeah, this is wild and I hear so many stories about this.
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I don't know if it has to do with the type of content I like to
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consume, but people scanning to get money.
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And it happens.
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I think more than we realize more than even the documentaries
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and the podcasts that are made about it.
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Yeah, there is an amazing podcast.
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About this whole scenario called Eliza Beth and it's made so
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this woman actually lives in our area.
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She lives in the Tampa Bay area and so another girl and her
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podcast partner made a like a short form podcast series about
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it and it is fascinating because it's not just this this
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was the thing that went viral, but also there was like most
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recently even after all of this came out trying to sell her
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clothes on like declutter and sell clothes on Instagram and
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and people like ordering them and her telling people she
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shipped them out, but she created fake shipping like invoices.
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And so it would get a tracking number but they wouldn't
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be able to like use the tracking number.
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And so she wasn't really sending anything out.
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And then one girl bought bathing suits from her and she was
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in her stories and posts wearing the bathing suit that she
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supposedly sold to this person right.
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So like just blatantly out there.
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And I think this is the more insidious problem like kind of
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not blatantly begging, but building of these parasocial
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relationships.
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So that we feel invested and we have trust that these people
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did not earn so that we are more likely to fall for things
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that aren't extreme.
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Yeah, but just like slightly out of the norm.
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Yeah.
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And I think playing on the empathy piece and stories that
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really get to our hearts and desire to want to help to
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want to be generous.
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I know that video didn't mention it, but she had also run
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another scam where she was selling tickets to charity events
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that never happened.
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And then people never got their money back.
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And so just consistently doing this over and over again.
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And I think sometimes we can wonder how does she get away
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with it?
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And I think sometimes it's because we don't know the background
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on who we're giving money to.
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We've not done the research on is this person legit or
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not?
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And they look trustworthy.
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And following them for years and listening to one of their
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stories and having it mirror your own, that's not research.
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Right.
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Like these were and I have seen influencers do this all the
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time where they will ask for donations for charity or be like
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I'm raising money for this charity and you give money to
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them and they never post proof that they made the donation.
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So like people having a history of not posting the proof of
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donation.
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Now there are a lot of influencers who will post proof.
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And I think if they have that history of this is what I do
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and I post the proof and Yada Yada, she's done this too,
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where she has accepted donations and never posted the proof
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that she's made the donation too.
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But I see this from a lot of influencers and I will say on
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that video that we showed she chalked some of this up to
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pretty privilege and she is beautiful.
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But I actually don't think it's that.
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I think it's the emotional manipulation.
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Like Elizabeth, when you look at her story versus her husband
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who had all the hard facts, her story was better.
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It was more emotional, more people could relate to her.
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He was just like spewing facts and he looked like just somebody
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that and this is an actual like legal when you go to court.
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This can work against you is that you're bringing as much
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information as possible and you just lay like a huge dossier
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like just you know on the desk where the other person has very
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little the person with more information actually she'd
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some self in the foot because it looks like it was planned.
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And like things were manipulated in their favor so that they
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could get all of this.
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I hate that that's true.
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Right.
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So like and this so this is what that's what happened I think
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in this situation.
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She told about her story.
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The story was closer to what's common.
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And so I think that is why so many people took her
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and are still taking her side because if you look for her
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profile right now and tick tock you won't find it.
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She just recently deleted it again.
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She does this like periodically.
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She you know she deactivated it because literally like two
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weeks ago.
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Yeah.
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A week and a half ago maybe from when we are recording this.
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She scammed another group of people in the Tampa Bay area.
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But these people got these girls got real loud real quick on
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social and apparently there was allegedly some theft
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involved and at minimum there was really taking advantage
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of like the living situation.
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But these girls went off in a very loud way and because of her
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history.
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Yeah.
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It was I mean you know she she went offline but there are still
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people that I don't know history as if people they're taking
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people at face value and we all do this when we hear something
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that mirrors our own reality.
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Yeah.
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It brings down our like rational thinking and questioning.
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So she yeah it was that's why I had to find like a weird
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snippet of the original video and I honestly don't even think
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that video is probably on her page anymore.
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But I couldn't check her from the eyes.
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I was down to see she's just like stirring up her next little
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Diving like deeper into some of the.
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So like begging but also like building of pair social
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relationships and trust with influencers.
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There's another even bigger example so 300,000 on
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TikTok that's you know that's whatever that's an influencer
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right but like it is pretty average on TikTok I think
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for influencers at this point but what about like a million
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plus followers yeah and not not necessarily scamming
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so blatantly but kind of selling us another type of lifestyle.
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That'll manipulation.
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Yeah.
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If you've been on TikTok you have probably been acquainted
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with Hub's life so it was and if you're on YouTube we'll
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kind of show you on what is content is because it's all just
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like very aesthetic with like a moody music in the background.
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But this guy would be like showing a day in the life of just
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a normal every day nine to five very much normalizing the nine
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to five that most people have like getting out of this
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extreme influencer like Porsche lifestyle and just like
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really normalizing like having lunch at your office coming
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home to your kid all of this and so he went from content
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like this and he quit his nine to five to start a new
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nine to five and it was really vague about it and eventually
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it came out that his new nine to five was what do you think
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it was.
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Content creation.
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Content creation.
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When I was in a little insert after for years building
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this whole account over I'm not going to quit my nine to five
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it's got stability it's got benefits it's got security
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and that's what he built his account on and then one day
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it's like my last day at my nine to five starting my new
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nine to five and it quickly so this was February of this
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year I think and it quickly devolved into morning routines
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and content like this that you will see on the YouTube video
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like doing one of those ice dunks with your face that who
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does that six o'clock in the morning and it's come out and very
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vaguely thin like thinly veiled ads for things like doing
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just all the cringe worthy content influence working out
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every day getting buff you know lies on the time of day
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stuff that he's doing like there are some people I've seen call
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him out being like I'm going into Chipotle for lunch at 10.45
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and you can see or 10.30 or something and you can see on the door
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that the open time for the restaurant is after the time he's
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posting and so he's like clearly doing rage bait right so he's doing
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a complete 180 right and every post is a brand deal well
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and also it's his handle is hubs life Hubbard is his last name
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Oh I sit over here like he's advertising what it's like to be a day
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in the life as a normal husband but I have like you never see family
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I know well you do see it like on his account but like I'm sure
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it's kind of like a double meeting but so you've got this
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like subtle manipulation of going from and I watched
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Kiki Chanel's like deep dive into this guy and she's like
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people are mad because he was one way and now he's another
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and she's like he's always been this way and he's only been
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the other way because it was growing his following to
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the place where he needed to then quit his job so he could do
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what he really wanted to do which is putting your face in a bowl
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of ice water and eating gross green powders for money
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like that's what he's always been and that's what he's always wanted
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to do and now that's what he's doing so are you saying
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that every influencer who is selling or hawking a product
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is beg talk?
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I so I think they all I think they are showing us a
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carefully curated piece of their life and building trust
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they aren't really earning in reality because we don't
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know anything outside of the minute of their day that they
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have cut and pasted to show us and then you've got all
spk_0
these influencers that get canceled because they make the
spk_0
mistake of showing something that's outside of that curated
spk_0
persona even if that curated persona is not I mean
spk_0
even if that reality clip is not bad like I think
spk_0
what hubs life did is manipulative yeah but I think
spk_0
you know all of this is standard what you're going to see
spk_0
out of influencers and you're going to follow them you're
spk_0
going to pair social relationship with them of course
spk_0
they're going to sell products it's how they keep making their
spk_0
content but I think the concerning thing like what
spk_0
what we're actually talking about in this episode is the
spk_0
begging portion that give me money for this which he does
spk_0
to yeah
spk_0
but you've got to send a galaxy bro I'm going to get a galaxy
spk_0
guys if I send me send me something man time make it live
spk_0
and I don't know if that's all a galaxy come to revenge
spk_0
I can't answer any of these you know send me a galaxy bro
spk_0
Sam thank you for the first gift roses on deck
spk_0
but I don't know I think roses are like not a galaxy
spk_0
I want to answer all these questions that I really can't
spk_0
right now Sam where's the galaxy bro all you have to
spk_0
like ten questions if you send a galaxy you have to send me a galaxy
spk_0
or some this is a lot more lucrative and I get to work
spk_0
from anywhere in the world make money for my telephone
spk_0
there's any investments of the forum okay you have to send me a galaxy
spk_0
now into that
spk_0
that's the internet for you to no one wants to see better
spk_0
doing better than them right
spk_0
I'm just a regular chill dude
spk_0
it's this wild I honestly feel like I'm just observing
spk_0
something that I'm completely unfamiliar with first of all
spk_0
what's a galaxy that is that I have to look at my money
spk_0
a galaxy is ten dollars so he is essentially being like
spk_0
send me a galaxy and I will answer a question
spk_0
but if you don't send me ten dollars I'm not going to answer a question
spk_0
and somebody actually sent him money and was like
spk_0
thanks for the roses but the roses are not galaxies
spk_0
and the galaxy I think is the highest thing you can like give
spk_0
to my knowledge let me know in the comments
spk_0
so he sent something lower than that what is a rosy
spk_0
I don't know what a rose is
spk_0
so if you're not watching the video with us
spk_0
this dude is just he's just the on a TikTok live with a guitar
spk_0
who knows if he ever ends up playing the guitar
spk_0
he's just a normal chill dude
spk_0
and if you want him to answer questions then you got to pay him money
spk_0
you got to send him a galaxy roses aren't enough
spk_0
but like he didn't establish himself as an expert on anything
spk_0
except going to a nine to five
spk_0
he was a benefits analysis at an insurance company
spk_0
that's not he he did video like
spk_0
he worked on video for other social media influencers before
spk_0
and was doing a lot of traveling
spk_0
and then got burnt out on that so then he just went to the you know
spk_0
just got a random job
spk_0
so he's not touting himself as an expert
spk_0
even on getting a job in insurance
spk_0
climbing the corporate ladder
spk_0
nothing so there is no reason people should pay him
spk_0
to answer a question
spk_0
and less it's how do I gain a social media following
spk_0
which I don't know if he would answer questions
spk_0
like that but he is constantly now like making real
spk_0
or it posts like calling out the haters
spk_0
like people just don't want to see you do well
spk_0
and not realizing that the reason people are upset
spk_0
is this emotion this manipulation of trust
spk_0
that's gone on
spk_0
and thinking people and his views of like tanked
spk_0
so thinking that anything any product you put out in front of somebody
spk_0
people are going to buy because of you
spk_0
when really it was because of the trust you built
spk_0
because of the content you were putting out
spk_0
it was this curation of a sliver of your life
spk_0
that people appreciated
spk_0
not who he really was
spk_0
which ends up not being a really great person
spk_0
and that doesn't mean
spk_0
honestly like he could be a fantastic person
spk_0
he could have done this in a really great way
spk_0
this transition that just did not
spk_0
yeah there's so many different examples
spk_0
because I think I could look at that one and be like
spk_0
never am I going to find myself
spk_0
watching this dude and sending him gas
spk_0
giving somebody's giving that's not happening
spk_0
and I'm going to give you a $10 to answer questions
spk_0
that I guarantee you is not qualified to answer
spk_0
financial people do this too
spk_0
like financial coaching
spk_0
like what qualifications we've not done financial coaching
spk_0
because we don't have any certifications
spk_0
we are back in school to get our certification
spk_0
and financial planning
spk_0
but we would not do that yet until we have that designation
spk_0
right yeah so but there's there's a lot of ways
spk_0
that we can encounter this when we are spending time
spk_0
on the internet it could be this dude
spk_0
it could be that you've been following a person
spk_0
for a really long time and you are just there
spk_0
for whatever journey they are also on
spk_0
and you're down for it
spk_0
you're just kind of bought in you like the community aspect of it
spk_0
it could be that it's some rando
spk_0
and their face pops up and they're crying
spk_0
there's all sorts of examples from people selling
spk_0
an exaggerated story for you know
spk_0
whether it's I had a breakup
spk_0
or I can't pay my bills or I'm burnt out you know
spk_0
here's a product if you buy this product this will help me
spk_0
or here's a go fund me
spk_0
so I think there's there's ways in which any one of us
spk_0
could find ourselves giving in these scenarios
spk_0
you know even if the one example isn't us
spk_0
there could be others how how are they building that trust
spk_0
how are they playing into your empathy
spk_0
or your desire to be generous
spk_0
I think it's important to know like where our vulnerabilities might lie
spk_0
and how it is working
spk_0
because there are there are plenty of examples
spk_0
where this is happening so we can't say like
spk_0
no no no none of us whatever clearly a lot of us are
spk_0
because so many scams are happening
spk_0
these people are making full-time jobs off of it
spk_0
so just being aware I think is so important
spk_0
and I don't think it's always a case of scamming
spk_0
influencers use emotional manipulation
spk_0
whether it's positive or negative
spk_0
obviously negative is much more powerful in our brains
spk_0
but influencers use emotional manipulation
spk_0
because it lowers your aptitude for making
spk_0
spending decisions
spk_0
it it heightens these triggers that make you want to
spk_0
either spend to buy a product
spk_0
in to support the person
spk_0
and I see this a lot like
spk_0
you know I am you know trying to like buy a merch
spk_0
or buy a product not because I need it
spk_0
but because I want to support you
spk_0
because I love what you do and I love you
spk_0
you know I've been following you for so long
spk_0
like that
spk_0
that's still it's not insidious
spk_0
like people aren't doing it manipulatively always
spk_0
but we have to watch ourselves to be like
spk_0
okay why am I making this purchase
spk_0
if if this person the thing they are selling
spk_0
the thing they are talking about
spk_0
is actually successful and works
spk_0
then there is going to be people who need it
spk_0
and maybe I know somebody needs it
spk_0
maybe I can buy it for somebody who needs it
spk_0
but I don't need to buy things that I don't need
spk_0
or want to support somebody
spk_0
and I and you can
spk_0
but you don't need to
spk_0
and I see that so much where people are like
spk_0
I'm buying my friends candles for her candle business
spk_0
because I want to support her
spk_0
and in reality you're not going to be the person
spk_0
to keep that entire candle business afloat
spk_0
if you see a candle you like
spk_0
and it's Christmas time and you're like
spk_0
oh I want to get I'm already going to get
spk_0
these people gifts I know they like candles
spk_0
I'm going to get them from my friend
spk_0
who sells them
spk_0
that is fantastic
spk_0
but I think we will
spk_0
just as much as influencers can emotionally manipulate us
spk_0
we can emotionally manipulate ourselves
spk_0
yeah
spk_0
yeah and I think you know
spk_0
okay well what is the harm here
spk_0
because yeah we can spend our money
spk_0
how we want to spend our money sure
spk_0
but I think the
spk_0
giving to people who haven't yet
spk_0
earned our trust
spk_0
or we don't really know who they are
spk_0
and maybe the missed opportunities
spk_0
to have been able to give
spk_0
to people that we do know
spk_0
to be able to support others
spk_0
whether individuals
spk_0
or organizations within our own community
spk_0
right because we
spk_0
we are not most of us
spk_0
flushed with cash to be able to be given
spk_0
to the parasocial relationship
spk_0
that we have with our influencer
spk_0
and the people who are right
spk_0
around us so we are
spk_0
making those trade-off decisions
spk_0
when we are giving to these people
spk_0
who we don't actually know where the money is going
spk_0
and there isn't reciprocity
spk_0
in that relationship
spk_0
and we've not been able to truly do the research on it
spk_0
and not to mention
spk_0
that there could be fraud involved
spk_0
that we could find ourselves
spk_0
a part of a scam
spk_0
and not actually
spk_0
supporting anybody
spk_0
or anything and that
spk_0
that's a really crummy waste of money
spk_0
I want to say something controversial
spk_0
okay and I hope that you'll
spk_0
you'll accept that this is coming
spk_0
from like a genuine pure play
spk_0
and it might get cut
spk_0
depending on what's about to be said
spk_0
I just want
spk_0
I want people to think of
spk_0
I
spk_0
say
spk_0
Taylor Swift is a parasocial
spk_0
relationship marketing genius
spk_0
and I see so many people
spk_0
buy whatever she puts out records
spk_0
cassette tapes
spk_0
who has a cassette player
spk_0
watching her at the movie theater
spk_0
everything
spk_0
because they want to support her
spk_0
because they feel like they know her
spk_0
and she looks like a really cool person
spk_0
like very much deserving
spk_0
of love and respect
spk_0
but like how much money
spk_0
has a swifty
spk_0
and I can't identify as this
spk_0
but like as somebody
spk_0
how much money have I
spk_0
given to Taylor Swift to support her
spk_0
versus the people in my own community
spk_0
that are in front of me
spk_0
that are in need
spk_0
what is the ratio to that
spk_0
and how does that
spk_0
I can't love and value these things
spk_0
I can go to the concerts
spk_0
and buy the stuff if you like it
spk_0
but I think you are identifying
spk_0
something really important that like
spk_0
full of I want her to do well
spk_0
right and that's doing
spk_0
the support
spk_0
but then I should also be putting
spk_0
as much energy into
spk_0
how can I support the people around me
spk_0
and who needs my support more
spk_0
and when it comes down to it
spk_0
Eric recently had an idea
spk_0
we haven't tried it out
spk_0
although it would be an interesting experiment
spk_0
I don't know how long we would do it for me
spk_0
maybe a couple of months would be cool
spk_0
but only consuming
spk_0
the content or buying the products
spk_0
that are friends
spk_0
like the people that we know
spk_0
are putting out
spk_0
so like only listening to music
spk_0
put out by friends
spk_0
only watching movies
spk_0
or shows made by friends
spk_0
that type of a thing
spk_0
would be so interesting
spk_0
just to give that a try
spk_0
I mean I'm not talking about like make an echo chamber
spk_0
necessarily
spk_0
but I think it's kind of to that point
spk_0
like what if we were to exercise
spk_0
bringing it in a little bit
spk_0
to the people that we know
spk_0
yeah we actually know where the money is going
spk_0
we are supporting
spk_0
our local community
spk_0
yeah and we just did an episode
spk_0
on how social media can
spk_0
like aid
spk_0
and may actually be responsible
spk_0
for the loneliness epidemic
spk_0
we're experiencing so we may be saying
spk_0
this and you're like well
spk_0
that's hard how do I find these people
spk_0
and how do I build relationships
spk_0
close enough to where it's not seen as charity
spk_0
but it's actually seen as like support
spk_0
it's hard it's not easy
spk_0
but definitely queue up
spk_0
with that episode to listen to afterwards
spk_0
because I feel like
spk_0
so many of our episodes
spk_0
lately have come back to this
spk_0
idea of
spk_0
if the fewer people that you know
spk_0
the more money you spend
spk_0
and you're going to spend money
spk_0
if you know people
spk_0
but I truly believe
spk_0
the fewer people you are in strong
spk_0
close community with
spk_0
the more you spend
spk_0
at companies and on people
spk_0
you do not know
spk_0
and have not earned it
spk_0
yeah yeah I think it's great
spk_0
to give we we love generosity
spk_0
it's a perfect way to be spending
spk_0
some of our money
spk_0
but I think for me my biggest takeaway
spk_0
in this is do I know them
spk_0
have I done the research
spk_0
not that I mean I'm not
spk_0
so concerned about
spk_0
if I give money to a person
spk_0
on the side of the street
spk_0
what are they doing with it
spk_0
that's my responsibility
spk_0
that's my personal perspective
spk_0
but I do think
spk_0
that there is an element
spk_0
of responsible giving
spk_0
that we do have
spk_0
but I think we can get caught up
spk_0
in some of these oh yeah I have been wanting
spk_0
to be more generous here's this person crying
spk_0
to me online yeah I'm going to feel better
spk_0
about myself like quickly
spk_0
send them some money but what if we put
spk_0
a little bit more intentionality into
spk_0
what are the needs around me
spk_0
what are the organizations
spk_0
that I really believe in
spk_0
and I'm able to look at
spk_0
some of their backstory I can
spk_0
is public record how
spk_0
nonprofits spend their money
spk_0
able to look through those things
spk_0
not not all of the time
spk_0
the one time that you decide
spk_0
this is who I'm going to give money to
spk_0
spend 10 15 minutes doing a little bit of research
spk_0
and actually feel really good
spk_0
and confident about where your generous
spk_0
dollars are going yeah and we
spk_0
put this out strategically
spk_0
in November because this is the season
spk_0
of the year where you're going to be
spk_0
pulled to give
spk_0
more than any other time
spk_0
of the year so
spk_0
we wanted and you're going to be
spk_0
pulled not just by people
spk_0
and organizations but by businesses
spk_0
who partner with organizations
spk_0
and we like every
spk_0
you know a part of every purchase
spk_0
goes toward this organization
spk_0
and that's called cause marketing
spk_0
and it doesn't really
spk_0
help the organization
spk_0
as much as you think
spk_0
it breaks down your barriers
spk_0
to spending more
spk_0
at the store so you buy
spk_0
more than you would have
spk_0
you feel or you feel better
spk_0
about buying from the store where you
spk_0
wouldn't have before and yes
spk_0
they give a portion of the proceeds
spk_0
to the nonprofit but
spk_0
you could feel even better
spk_0
by just giving to the nonprofit
spk_0
instead of consuming more stuff
spk_0
so this is this we are about to enter
spk_0
the season of emotional manipulation
spk_0
at its height
spk_0
like can you think of every
spk_0
holiday movie and slogan
spk_0
and twinkle light
spk_0
like seeing a twinkle light
spk_0
like brings something out of it
spk_0
yeah brands are going to do this
spk_0
all the marketing and commercials
spk_0
are going to play on our emotions
spk_0
so I think just being aware of how
spk_0
emotions are utilized to get you to spend money
spk_0
just across the board
spk_0
to be vigilant of
spk_0
so remember
spk_0
you only see a sliver
spk_0
of somebody's life
spk_0
that is carefully
spk_0
curated on social media
spk_0
you do not know that person
spk_0
and you do not know
spk_0
what your support
spk_0
is going to do
spk_0
obviously when we support
spk_0
when we give
spk_0
we do it without condition
spk_0
and we have to be okay with that
spk_0
and if you're not okay
spk_0
giving without condition
spk_0
then we don't give
spk_0
in that area to that person
spk_0
yeah but social media is curated
spk_0
and just like don't give
spk_0
give to people
spk_0
you don't
spk_0
feel confident
spk_0
like you know
spk_0
or purchase products
spk_0
that you don't need
spk_0
just so that this person
spk_0
can be supported
spk_0
because we give without condition
spk_0
I think we can
spk_0
do we agree on that?
spk_0
do we agree on that?
spk_0
something will absolutely agree on
spk_0
every single episode
spk_0
out condition
spk_0
the middle of the week
spk_0
that's right
spk_0
it's time for the best
spk_0
minute of your entire week
spk_0
maybe a baby was born
spk_0
and his name is William
spk_0
maybe you paid off your mortgage
spk_0
maybe your car died
spk_0
and you're happy to not have to
spk_0
pay that bill anymore
spk_0
stuck bills, buffalo bills
spk_0
bill clean
spk_0
this is the bill of the week
spk_0
hi this is Laurie and
spk_0
bellville illinois and this is my
spk_0
bill of the week
spk_0
my sister was married two times
spk_0
both of them were named bill
spk_0
but my favorite bill was the first one
spk_0
because when he died
spk_0
his daughter gifted me his 15
spk_0
year old
spk_0
low mileage Toyota Camry
spk_0
bye
spk_0
you just
spk_0
you just
spk_0
brought us to the top of the mountain
spk_0
and then you just
spk_0
pushed us off with that
spk_0
oh my gosh
spk_0
two bills
spk_0
one of them died
spk_0
and then
spk_0
his daughter gave you a camera
spk_0
yeah
spk_0
that was a wild journey
spk_0
and I loved the comedic timing
spk_0
you took the delivery of it
spk_0
the story
spk_0
the perfect connection
spk_0
with bill of the week
spk_0
you understood the assignment
spk_0
and you delivered
spk_0
and you love it
spk_0
and I will probably listen to
spk_0
this one again later
spk_0
once we're done recording because I enjoy this
spk_0
she goes back and the good ones
spk_0
they're all good
spk_0
her favorite
spk_0
she listens back to them
spk_0
so if you submit your bill of the week
spk_0
at frugalfriendspodcast.com
spk_0
but you should totally do
spk_0
uh
spk_0
know that sometimes
spk_0
Jill when she's all alone
spk_0
the light listen back to
spk_0
it you're listening to me
spk_0
I'll listen to you right back
spk_0
though thanks so much
spk_0
if you all are listening
spk_0
you have a bill that you want to submit
spk_0
like Jen said if you want to try and make it be one
spk_0
that I'm going to listen to
spk_0
even when I don't have to
spk_0
frugalfriendspodcast.com
spk_0
slash bill you know it
spk_0
bonus points if it's about a person named
spk_0
bill every year during open enrollment
spk_0
I'm reminded how confusing health care can be
spk_0
higher premiums find print
spk_0
and plans that never seem to fit
spk_0
it feels like the system is built to keep us stuck
spk_0
it's wild how easy it is to
spk_0
overpay for coverage you barely use
spk_0
that's why we love what crowd health is doing
spk_0
it's not insurance
spk_0
it's a community of people helping
spk_0
find each other's medical bills directly
spk_0
no middlemen, no networks, no hidden nonsense
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with crowd health you pay under $100 a month
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and get access to bill negotiators
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low-cost prescriptions, lab testing tools
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and a list of vetted high quality doctors
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and it's something major happens
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you pay the first $500
spk_0
then the crowd steps in to help cover the rest
spk_0
it's health care sharing that finally makes sense
spk_0
this open enrollment
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take your power back
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join crowd health to get started today
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for $99 for your first three months
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using code frugal
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at join crowd health.com
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that's join crowd health.com
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code frugal crowd health is not insurance
spk_0
opt out take your power back
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this is how we win
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join crowd health.com
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I'm loving the word no
spk_0
and so is meant mobile
spk_0
they've got no contracts no monthly bills no overages no hidden fees
spk_0
and for these reasons
spk_0
I say yes to mint because honestly
spk_0
I was tired of paying ridiculous prices
spk_0
for the same service
spk_0
now I get premium wireless for just $15 a month
spk_0
switching phone plans can feel like such a hassle
spk_0
but mint makes it super simple
spk_0
I kept my phone my number and all my contacts
spk_0
plus the coverage is just as good as what I had before
spk_0
actually better in some spots
spk_0
and I'm saving over $60 a month
spk_0
and all mint plans come with
spk_0
high speed data and unlimited talk and text
spk_0
delivered on the nation's largest 5G network
spk_0
it's the easiest way to cut a big monthly expense
spk_0
without any of the deprivation
spk_0
ready to say yes to say no
spk_0
make the switch at mint mobile.com slash frugal
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that's mint mobile.com slash frugal
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upfront payment of $45
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required equivalent to $15 a month
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limited time new customer offer for first
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three months only. speeds may slow above 35
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gigabytes on unlimited plan. taxes and fees extra
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as he mint mobile for details
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and now it's time for
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the lightening route.
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Shoo shoo shoo
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me
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I knew this one so much. I answered it for you Jill
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have you ever been a victim of charity fraud
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or a similar tactic
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no
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that's not the answer
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Jill
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yes and it was recent
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and it was on social media
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so tune back in
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bring it back here
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listen to her story
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I've been a victim
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you have been a victim
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this is so
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girl
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oh why do you make me tell this story
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over and over and over
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all of our listeners
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have this one
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yeah just knowing the comments if you've
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heard it before or if you haven't
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and if everybody has heard it before
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I'll never make Jill talk about it again
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but if this is your first time hearing
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you have to be like no this is a civil service
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you need to call it a civil service
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is a civil service
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to leave manipulate me to continue
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with another story
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so I have taken over the frugal friends
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Instagram account
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you can follow us at frugal friends
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on Instagram
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we won't ever ask you for money
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but sometimes you'll ask
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us for money
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and I will get it
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no she won't
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no I won't
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no I won't
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no I won't
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no I won't not anymore but I did one time
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so somebody DM does
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and to my credit
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or in my defense
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rather they
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they said they were somebody
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that we had been in contact with before
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they had you know
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responded to a story
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and then we had written back
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so it wasn't just like a ranto
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it was a real frugal friends
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follower
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and they sent this message
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about a friend of theirs
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who was child
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it sounds wild saying and out loud
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their child is going through
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I mean they has cancer
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and children yes
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they do have cancer
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but the story went on
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where the parent
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is a war van
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they don't have the money
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for just every single
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sob story
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piece happening
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and it made sense to me
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that they would just be reaching out to anybody
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they had kind of said that
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I'm just reaching out to
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whoever I can think of
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friends family the people that I follow
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just trying to get the word out
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this is so awful
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what my friends are going through
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and so I ran through the whole thing
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and I even have the thought
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I don't know these people
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I don't know if this is legit
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or not
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but what is the harm
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in the event that this is true
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50 bucks
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no skin off my back
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like sure I'll give
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but she but I have to ask permission
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to spend 50 bucks. We don't like monitor each other's spending on the business card
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because we trust each other
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because we have earned each other's trust
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but then sometimes when I see you know a big expense
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like Jen what is what was this
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Costco
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it's usually Costco
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anyways
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then the next day they reach back out saying
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oh that's so sweet of you guys
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but my account was hacked
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and this wasn't me
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it's not this to you
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oh no how do I get this back
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thankfully and that was the thing too
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like I'm gonna use a credit card
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so if it's bad
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then I can you know cancel it
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through the credit card
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the one flaw in that whole plan is
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well yeah it was a scam
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so that stinks
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but the danger to us
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is that the credit card information
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has an address attached to it
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so you know whoever
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is scamming
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now has access to our place of business
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potentially our home
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so that I think it might have
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been my home address
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because the card that she used
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was connected to like my account
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and I was like I think
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they have my home address now
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so you had to remove your home
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from Google
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I did
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I have to learn out now
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yeah so that's
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you know that was a learning
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and influencing
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so clearly that's I'm not
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I am just not an influencer
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I'm just out here
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wanting to support children with cancer
spk_0
so none of us are immune
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I keep making her tell that story
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to say that none of us are immune
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to the scams
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and the manipulation that go on
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on social media
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and yes we could get that
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particular $50 back
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that was not an issue
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but it's not always the case
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for every everyone
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yeah what about you
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if you give somebody money via
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PayPal like via friends and family
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you can't get that money back
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that is very hard to get back
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so stuff like that
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okay for me
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it wasn't necessarily charity fraud
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but when I think of the
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emotional manipulation piece
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of giving
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these I think
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a lot of nonprofits use
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emotional manipulation in their
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marketing to extract money
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from people and I don't think
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that's a bad thing
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you need to extract emotion
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and pull it heartstrings
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to fundraise
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and I felt very heavy victim
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of that when I was in my
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late teens early 20s
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you know when our
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prefrontal cortex is not fully developed
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we are even more at risk
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so if you have a teenage
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niece, nephew, son, daughter
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young adult in your life
spk_0
like they need to hear this stuff
spk_0
too even more so
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but I got very wrapped up
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in a nonprofit called
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Invisible Children
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and became almost
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obsessed with it
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and so much that I went
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and I worked
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like 80 hour weeks
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for them for free
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I had to actually raise my own
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support and like
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it was
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exploitative
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at minimum
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but it's how in that Eric
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we know each other
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all he was explaining
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and that as well
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it is so interesting
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because they are
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going after a really
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relevant and important cause
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like what they were doing
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is great
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but then the ways
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in which they were doing it
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and the backs of the people
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that they were doing it on
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is problem-added
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and at the time what they were trying to do
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was not
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like the best strategy
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to do what they wanted
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to do either
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and now it's completely transformed
spk_0
too much tighter
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more well-thought-out
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organization
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but back then
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man like I got
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taken for a ride
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literally around the country
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by that particular
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organization
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difficult thing too is that
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you could be supporting a good cause
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through a nonprofit
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but if the nonprofit
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isn't caring for their people well
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that those who are actually doing the work
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is not going well
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then you are participating
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in a different version
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of exploitation and sometimes we
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can't know all of these things
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I'm not trying to burden us
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with like loads and
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loads of research but I do think
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it does call us to
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just raising another tier
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of
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how do I make sure
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that this is a
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worthwhile organization?
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Have I been able to talk to some of the people
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who work there? Do I have an
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intimate knowledge of them
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which can really only happen
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if they are in our local communities?
spk_0
We can give outside of that too
spk_0
but the majority
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of our giving I personally
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think should be
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with these individuals
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and organizations that we
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have more knowledge.
spk_0
Drop a hashtag
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Kony 2012 in the comments
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if you know what I'm talking about.
spk_0
Thanks everyone for being here
spk_0
thanks for listening
spk_0
thanks for watching
spk_0
thanks for engaging
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thanks for calling in your bills
spk_0
a little week and thank you for reading our book
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by what you love without going broke
spk_0
and then doing the next
spk_0
level thing by reviewing it
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like this person lord pouncy
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five stars
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this book is classic
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Gen Angel
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class so very applicable
spk_0
but captivating at the same time
spk_0
isn't your average finance book
spk_0
this one is deeper this one gets to the route of not just finances but what motivates you in the
spk_0
life and following after what you love
spk_0
read it you won't regret it
spk_0
oh thank you
spk_0
Lauren
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thanks for you
spk_0
we appreciate every subscribe
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on YouTube channel
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these are all free ways
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reading and reviewing
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these are all ways to support
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that cost nothing
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and really help us
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so if you like what we are talking about
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please
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subscribe to the YouTube channel and do all that
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so that we can do it more
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we're just asking you to do the free things
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yeah so thank you see you next time
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bye besties
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for real friends
spk_0
for real friends is produced by Eric Cereani
spk_0
okay what who
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do you follow on YouTube or Instagram
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or wherever that you would be the most likely
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to
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give to or or I would say buy a product
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from who like in particular
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yeah like who who are you
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where is your weeks
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you are the most vulnerable
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it has to be someone I've never met
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yeah is that this to be like
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yeah yeah yeah okay because there are some people
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that I do like my
spk_0
health coach
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yeah I I pay her
spk_0
fifty dollars nothing but yeah I don't know
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okay a fully paris
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I don't really like
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you you are kind of the most
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bought into them that you almost
spk_0
would get that sweatshirt that they
spk_0
that they put out that they're doing
spk_0
oh um okay there have been a couple
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instances
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I
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the format is coming out with another album
spk_0
and I almost clicked by now on this
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hat of selling
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um I think that's a little different
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so I will go with
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um run fit mama on Instagram
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okay she's a she's a running coach
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and I actually have bought a running
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program from from her
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for a previous half marathon and it was
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fantastic
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worth every penny
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and would do again
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um
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but yeah I have
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purchased a couple things from her
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I've never met her in real life
spk_0
the fit the half marathon training
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program okay okay and also this like
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hundred mile club
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um
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patch so I'm so silly now
spk_0
but like it was one of those things
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we're like we're doing a hundred miles
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like and you know send me the money
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for a patch and I'll send you the
spk_0
you know the patch and I got
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that's the kind of stuff
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yeah that's it not just the like okay
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I'm buying a program from you that
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I am going to you guys and is
spk_0
going to benefit me but purely just
spk_0
the like I want the trinket
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yeah from this person
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um run fit mama especially
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if you're like a Disney runner like me
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yeah yeah
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um probably most likely
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from my girl panum
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I knew you were gonna say that
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I called her my girl if she
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sold you a bracelet
spk_0
you'd get this as I heart-pam
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like I she has stuff
spk_0
and I haven't ever bought
spk_0
so like clearly I won and I
spk_0
don't but if I ever
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would
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if you haven't been spending money
spk_0
with someone on social media it would be somebody who
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DMed you about their friend's crowd
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um but also I think I'm realizing some of my
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funny girls on instagram
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I could see that pulling me in
spk_0
like if they were selling me something
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like maybe maybe
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me
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me