CARDI B: Overcoming Depression, Blocking Out the Hate & Owning Your Power

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 This is an I Heart Podcast.

spk_0 It may look different, but Native culture is alive. My name is Nicole Garcia and on Burnsage Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture.

spk_0 Somewhere along the way it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop.

spk_0 That's Dr. Lee Francis IV who opened the first Native comic book shop. Explore his story along with many other Native stories on the show, Burnsage Burn Bridges.

spk_0 Listen to Burnsage Burn Bridges on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast season 4 is here.

spk_0 And we're locked in.

spk_0 That means more juicy cheese mint.

spk_0 Terrible love advice.

spk_0 Evil spells to cast on your ex.

spk_0 No, we're not doing that this season.

spk_0 Oh, well this season we're leveling up.

spk_0 Each episode will feature a special bestie and you're not going to want to miss it.

spk_0 My name is Curly.

spk_0 And I'm Maya.

spk_0 Get in here.

spk_0 Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 My marriage, I felt the love dying.

spk_0 I was crying every day.

spk_0 I felt in the deepest depression that I had ever had.

spk_0 The number one health and wellness podcast.

spk_0 J. Shetty.

spk_0 He won the only J. Shetty.

spk_0 Cardi B. Welcome to On Purpose.

spk_0 Hi.

spk_0 Oh my gosh.

spk_0 I have to tell you something.

spk_0 And I mean this.

spk_0 You can go back six years when I launched the podcast.

spk_0 People always ask me they'd say, who do you want on the show?

spk_0 Like who would be your dream guest?

spk_0 And I'd always say, Cardi B.

spk_0 And I'll tell you why.

spk_0 I'll tell you why.

spk_0 Because no one would ever put us in the same room together.

spk_0 We're just so different externally.

spk_0

spk_0 But I believe there's a there's a spiritual connection that we'll find out today.

spk_0 You know, it's so funny.

spk_0 I saw a video of you and I definitely want I was like, I want to say to my boyfriend, but.

spk_0 It's about like asking difficult questions.

spk_0 And it's like when you when you ask difficult questions and you get through you get over the

spk_0 difficult question and you've discussed the difficult questions, it really do make you stronger.

spk_0 It really do make the relationship stronger.

spk_0 It's like, oh my gosh, he really is like is he a psychic?

spk_0 Did you send it to him?

spk_0 Huh?

spk_0 Did you send it to him?

spk_0 What did he say?

spk_0 He was like, yeah, exactly.

spk_0 And I was like, yeah, exactly.

spk_0 Did it did it did it change any behavior?

spk_0 We'll see.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 On the next question.

spk_0 I love it.

spk_0 I wanted to ask you, first of all, I heard that you have a hidden talent that you can name the

spk_0 46 presidents in order.

spk_0 Is that real?

spk_0 I can't it go.

spk_0 It comes and go.

spk_0 I just know a lot of weird different facts about presidents.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 And people were like, well, why?

spk_0 That is so random.

spk_0 Like when I was younger, I didn't really have like Nintendo's and I didn't sometimes I had

spk_0 cable and sometimes I didn't.

spk_0 So I just really had no choice but to read and like I like to read like factual stuff.

spk_0 So I would just read like a whole bunch of history things like me.

spk_0 I would literally, when I'm bored, like you know how they give you the history books in

spk_0 your school, I would literally read the whole history book in a week from front to back.

spk_0 Just just because I'm bored.

spk_0 Wow.

spk_0 That's impressive though.

spk_0 Do you still get bored now?

spk_0 Do you even have time to be bored or?

spk_0 I don't mean bored, but that's like what I really just like to watch and everything.

spk_0 So like I watched it like, watch YouTube's on like factual things.

spk_0 Like I just get into certain certain topics and I always go on a rabbit hole and then

spk_0 I'll be obsessed with it for a week and then it's just like whatever.

spk_0 Yeah, I feel like you can't go anywhere without being recognized.

spk_0 I mean, you have such an iconic look even today.

spk_0 I was admiring you when you walked in.

spk_0 I was like, what inspires this?

spk_0 But if you could be anonymous for 24 hours, what would you do?

spk_0 If no one could recognize you, no one could see you.

spk_0 What would you do?

spk_0 Well, you know what's so funny?

spk_0 Like I really do.

spk_0 Like I don't always look like this.

spk_0 So I usually go outside.

spk_0 Probably with glasses or probably not, but I always go outside with like an oversized hoodie.

spk_0 And then I'm not even going to lie due to COVID for like a long time.

spk_0 It really did help using the mask.

spk_0 But I do a lot of things by myself for no security.

spk_0 Because I'm a person that if I want to go and buy a steak to cook,

spk_0 I will go downstairs to Whole Foods and buy it and take care of it.

spk_0

spk_0 I know no, no.

spk_0 I know no, see you.

spk_0 They might or they might not.

spk_0 But I feel like already maneuver how to like, oh, it's Cardi B and I just walk fast and maneuver my way around.

spk_0 That's impressive.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 You know, this show is all about getting to know the person behind the music, behind the start,

spk_0 behind the fame, getting to know the human behind it.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And I feel like your journey, even though you've talked about it,

spk_0 I'd love to dive into some parts that I find fascinating.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And I wanted to ask you, what's a childhood memory that you have that you think defines who you are today?

spk_0 Oh, it's a lot.

spk_0 Well, it's not really like a childhood memory.

spk_0 But me and my sister, we used to go to the same school, right?

spk_0 Even though like she's three years younger than me.

spk_0 And she always be telling me this thing, right?

spk_0 She always be telling me this.

spk_0 She always tells me like, oh, I used to see you in the cafeteria in the morning by yourself with your head down.

spk_0 And I used to feel so bad for you.

spk_0 And it's like, why?

spk_0 And she's like, I don't know because you just looked so lonely.

spk_0 And I used to tell her like, it's like, I was not lonely.

spk_0 I just always need time to think and be by myself.

spk_0 Like, I'm a person that I have friends, but I don't really like to be around people that much sometimes.

spk_0 I just, I'm always in my thoughts.

spk_0 Like, there's like a hundred people and I feel like it's been like that since I was five years old.

spk_0 They're talking my head and plant things out, plant my future, plant my life.

spk_0 It's like I'm playing doorhoused in my head.

spk_0 You know, like when you play with your door, you make a scenario, not a scenario, or like you build your home and this and your dad.

spk_0 Yeah, like a little universe or well.

spk_0 Like a little universe.

spk_0 I'm always planning a universe in my head.

spk_0 And it's just sometimes people say that I have like an interesting look.

spk_0 Like if I'm spaced out, I'm not spaced out.

spk_0 I'm deep in my universe and planning five years ahead.

spk_0 Wow. So you're dreaming, planning, visioning.

spk_0 You do these different workers, different using your head of different names or personalities or no, it's just.

spk_0 No, it's not really no different personalities.

spk_0 It's just straight planning tomorrow, straight planning for five years, straight, straight imagining what I what I want.

spk_0 Wow.

spk_0 And it's crazy because it's like everything that I planned for since I was five and dreamed of.

spk_0 I really got in it.

spk_0 Wow.

spk_0 Even when I was like younger, you know, I was like younger.

spk_0 I used to look at my mom and I used to be like, I want to be so pretty and beautiful like her.

spk_0 And I grew up to be the pretty beautiful woman that she is.

spk_0 But I also wanted like to be very successful.

spk_0 Very.

spk_0 I'm not going to say rich, but like very successful.

spk_0 I really hated being poor.

spk_0 And I used to say like is that I refuse to have kids and raise them in the hood.

spk_0 I have to find a way to never do that.

spk_0 But I always wanted kids and I figured it out.

spk_0 And I not only did I figure it out, but it's like I always have plan B season these.

spk_0 But I don't I didn't have to settle for plan B C and D.

spk_0 I had I settle for my dream.

spk_0 Like this is my dream job and I have it.

spk_0 It's a little bit more difficult than what I saw in my dreams.

spk_0 But I'm living it.

spk_0 But I always want it.

spk_0 Yeah, that's incredible.

spk_0 As that little girl who was sitting alone that your sister said, she would see you and she'd feel sorry for you.

spk_0 But inside your head, you were dreaming.

spk_0 Was it dreaming about music?

spk_0 Was it dreaming about getting out of the hood?

spk_0 What were those dreams?

spk_0 What did they look like to that little girl back then?

spk_0 I always felt like I was going to be a superstar.

spk_0 And it's so weird because my grandma, she has like a lot of grandkids.

spk_0 But she always used to tell me that.

spk_0 And it's like why are you always used to tell?

spk_0 Like I don't understand why she used to tell me that all the time.

spk_0 Like I used to be like a little black sheep.

spk_0 I used to like nag a lot.

spk_0 I have like cousins that they're very pretty.

spk_0 They have beautiful, beautiful eyes.

spk_0 They just stand out so much.

spk_0 And it's not that I don't stand out.

spk_0 It's just like, out of everybody, my grandma used to be like, you're going to be a superstar.

spk_0 You need to practice how to sing because you're going to be a superstar.

spk_0 And I just knew I was meant to be something.

spk_0 And like for some reason, me and my sister, we have like really strong personalities.

spk_0 And I feel like like the things that they used to tell me that would tell her the same thing too.

spk_0 Like all my teachers, all my friends, they're going to be like, you're going to be somebody.

spk_0 You're going to be somebody someday.

spk_0 But I always used to wonder like, what is my calling?

spk_0 Because I used to like acting in school, but I'm not a good actress.

spk_0 I used to like singing, but I'm not a good singer.

spk_0 I'm not the greatest singer.

spk_0 Like from the pack from the school, I'm not the greatest singer.

spk_0 Like if I were audition for a play, they would pick somebody else because they sing better than me.

spk_0 Or they would pick somebody else because they act better than me.

spk_0 So and then it's like, oh, people used to say like, I'm so funny.

spk_0 But it's like, I'm not a comedian.

spk_0 You're a good girl.

spk_0 Show like it's like, I am naturally funny, but I can't see it as my job.

spk_0 It's just my mouth.

spk_0 This is just me being me.

spk_0 So it's like, what is my calling?

spk_0 And I always wonder, what is my calling that everybody said that is like, I'm going to be somebody.

spk_0 But what am I going to be?

spk_0 I don't know.

spk_0 And God gave it to me.

spk_0 God showed it to me.

spk_0 And God really did gave it to me.

spk_0 And here I am.

spk_0 And I just can't believe that millions of people know me.

spk_0 Congratulations.

spk_0 When I hear you say that and you always exude this confidence, you're outspoken, you're bold.

spk_0 Was it always like that since you were a young girl or did that develop over time?

spk_0 Where did that come from?

spk_0 I was born like this.

spk_0 I was always been like this.

spk_0 Because I got my real quiet side.

spk_0 And I always got into my self-sight because like I said, being my own universe, quiet, planning and planning.

spk_0 But I feel like when I open my mouth or when I am who I am, this is just how I am.

spk_0 But if I kind of think about it, I mean like my family are very like funny.

spk_0 They're very loud.

spk_0 My parents are a little different from each other, but they're very loud.

spk_0 They have very strong personalities both of them.

spk_0 So I feel like it just all came into you.

spk_0 Came into me.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 So it's like, you know how people, I don't know, maybe you know how people parents give the kids they looks.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 I think my parents gave me a mix of they both personality.

spk_0 I'm a little bit of both of them.

spk_0 Cardi B even still today finds time for her quiet side.

spk_0 I'm naturally quiet though.

spk_0 I don't like tell me about that.

spk_0 I want to know about that.

spk_0 I'm like, I don't think people know that.

spk_0 Yeah, like I'm naturally in my room just deep in my thoughts and just deep, deep, deep.

spk_0 I might just talk to you the whole day as a friend on the phone.

spk_0 But I don't really want to see you, which is so weird.

spk_0 Like I could talk to my friends all day long, but I like to be by myself all the time.

spk_0 I don't really are people surprised when they figure that out with you.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And my friends don't feel certain type of way about that because they know me.

spk_0 They know.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 They know I'm not the friend that want to go out to dinner.

spk_0 They know that I'm not that they know I'm not the friend there.

spk_0 Well, I'm just going to go to your house and chill and blah, blah, blah.

spk_0 But we will be on the phone like forever.

spk_0 So what about like parties events, all of that kind of stuff?

spk_0 That's like, is it work?

spk_0 Is it networking or?

spk_0 I do like to party, but sometimes I haven't even really had the time for it.

spk_0 Lately, I haven't really had the time for it.

spk_0 And to be honest with you, even before I was like famous and everything, I was really a club girl.

spk_0 I was already a dancer.

spk_0 So I work in the club.

spk_0 So it's like, I didn't really care to like, oh, I'm going to the club today for what?

spk_0 I work in it.

spk_0 Like it's just like I always been like a person to just work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, focus on the bigger picture.

spk_0 Just focus on the biggest thing.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 I always wanted kids.

spk_0 So the goal is to be comfortable before the kids get here.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 That was always my goal.

spk_0 My goal was always to be a mother, but having your own.

spk_0 I had my own before.

spk_0 I became a mother.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0

spk_0 I mean, you said just a few moments ago that you don't want to raise kids in the hood.

spk_0 Mm-hmm.

spk_0 Talk to me about what we don't know about that.

spk_0 Like how hard was it?

spk_0 What was it that was so bad that you were like, I could never raise my kids in the place I grew up in?

spk_0 It's just a lot of things.

spk_0 Like sometimes when kids are like bad or they get into trouble, people automatically blame the parents.

spk_0 And you could have the best parents.

spk_0 And my parents, they are not criminals.

spk_0 They have never even committed a crime.

spk_0 My grandma used to tell my mom a lot like it's like, you're pretty fun or reason.

spk_0 And I feel like they used to tell her that because it's like, she's so pretty.

spk_0 So it's like, you know, Caribbean folks is like, when you're pretty and you're this and that is like,

spk_0 they always expect you to be with a man that got a lot of money.

spk_0 And my mom, she was never even that type of person.

spk_0 She was a very modest and honest, hardworking woman.

spk_0 So, and my dad, he's a good man.

spk_0 He's a party animal, but he's a good man.

spk_0 He's a good person. He's a good dad.

spk_0 However, you will end up going in the wrong direction because the influence around you,

spk_0 because certain peer pressure or because you almost have no choice, especially if you're a boy.

spk_0 You never know if you're going to have a boy or girl, especially if you're a boy.

spk_0 And when you are a girl, it is a little bit difficult.

spk_0 It is a little bit tougher.

spk_0 I feel like people just grow a little bit faster in the hood.

spk_0 Like when I was 11 years old, there was girls in my class in the sixth grade,

spk_0 11 years old.

spk_0 I have nieces, they're 11 years old.

spk_0 The other one I do is play rob Rocks nowadays.

spk_0 But when I was 11 years old, there was girls that were already 4 years old.

spk_0 At 11 in sixth grade.

spk_0 So, it's like you go certain paths of your environments.

spk_0 Like boys, 2 in the hood, they're a little faster.

spk_0 So, you know, you will be walking down the block and the typical little bad boy,

spk_0 he will slap your ass.

spk_0 I don't know where.

spk_0 He will slap your ass.

spk_0 I don't know where you start arguing with him.

spk_0 He will smack the shirt.

spk_0 If it's there, that's how boys, a lot of boys in the Bronx are.

spk_0 They're very aggressive.

spk_0 They're aggressive with girls.

spk_0 They're aggressive.

spk_0 They grew up out.

spk_0 They grow up you.

spk_0 You never know.

spk_0 One of the reasons also why I'm so witty with my mouth.

spk_0 People were like, why are you so witty?

spk_0 Why are you so thin?

spk_0 Like, going to school, it was like, it's almost like,

spk_0 I think that's why I'm always so tough.

spk_0 Boys or girls, mostly boys, they used to make fun of girls.

spk_0 They used to make fun of certain things, but not only to everybody.

spk_0 Look at your shoes.

spk_0 They're leaning.

spk_0 Look at your hair.

spk_0 Your hair is never not done.

spk_0 So, I used to go home and I used to go in the mirror and practice my jokes.

spk_0 And the next day, I will be like, I can't wait till he flame me.

spk_0 I got a joke with him.

spk_0 That's why I'm so witty too as well.

spk_0 So, it's like, I don't want to raise my kids in that type of environment.

spk_0 I don't want to.

spk_0 And then on top of that, it's like, it is fun.

spk_0 I had a lot of fun in the hood, but it's not fun.

spk_0 Like, for me, right?

spk_0 It's not fun living in an apartment, right?

spk_0 And contrary to what I say, I don't cook, I don't clean.

spk_0 I grew up with a mom that would make me brush the corners of the apartment.

spk_0 Like, brush it by hand.

spk_0 That's how clean my home had to be.

spk_0 My crib had to be.

spk_0 Every day I was doing dishes.

spk_0 Every day I was mopping floors.

spk_0 Every day I was making sure that I go outside to the parking lot and take off the garbage.

spk_0 And even though no matter how clean your apartment is, there will still be roaches.

spk_0 There will still be my sis because your neighbor probably a hoarder, the person downstairs is dirty.

spk_0 Yeah, all living the same building.

spk_0 You cannot avoid certain, certain voting and stuff.

spk_0 And it's like, I don't want to put my kids through that.

spk_0 And it's like, I have to find another way.

spk_0 And then another thing that always gets me in my head.

spk_0 It's like, this one time, my mom, she was working very hard, but we still need help.

spk_0 So she went to welfare to get benefit, like a benefit card and stuff like that.

spk_0 And the lady, like, my mom, she's the type of person.

spk_0 Like, if you root for her, she gonna be like, oh, I don't got to take this.

spk_0 And she would just storm out.

spk_0 Like, I don't got to take nobody.

spk_0 I got to talk, going to talk to me like that.

spk_0 She got a very strong character.

spk_0 And this lady was talking so rude and so nasty to my mom.

spk_0 And she was taking it because we needed the help.

spk_0 I don't want nobody to feel like they have to talk to me a certain type of way because I need the help.

spk_0 And it's like, this could never, ever be me.

spk_0 I would never want to like be in a situation where I have to go get welfare.

spk_0 And the social worker is talking to me like, I'm a dog.

spk_0 I got to need you.

spk_0 And I just felt so bad for my mom because she just felt so I could tell her face that she was just like looking for the papers that she needed.

spk_0 Like, that vision is always in my head.

spk_0 And it's like, every getting me mad, I hope that lady I want punching her face to this day.

spk_0 And I don't want that.

spk_0 I didn't want that.

spk_0 And as a woman, even if you get with a man with money, you should have your own.

spk_0 Because one thing you learn from young, one thing I learned from having aunts, you could have a man with money, you could have a kid with money.

spk_0 If you stop doing what that man asked you to do or if that man decides to leave or if you deal with a man from the streets and you go to jail, that's your child.

spk_0 That's you.

spk_0 That's your responsibility.

spk_0 That's your hustle.

spk_0 You got a grant for that child.

spk_0 It's always two parents, but sometimes not really two parents.

spk_0 And if that could be alive right there.

spk_0 And then that's where you always got to have your own.

spk_0 It's not even about, oh, I don't need a man.

spk_0 I don't need the father.

spk_0 I don't need the thing.

spk_0 But sometimes they get to the point that it's like, they're going to make you feel that way.

spk_0 That's what you need it.

spk_0 I have cousins and I have aunts and I have it that is like they may have for the little bit of money, have a little bit of land, have a little bit of this.

spk_0 And one of those men are done and through with you and put you off the ringer is like, yeah, I'm not dealing with that kid no more.

spk_0 Or like you get these $200 every three, four months when I want you to.

spk_0 I'm not dealing with that shit.

spk_0 That's why I was like, but I always wanted to have kids.

spk_0 So it's that I have to have my own shit before I become a mom.

spk_0 And that's exactly what happened.

spk_0 And I only do it.

spk_0 And I only have one kid.

spk_0 I have three kids.

spk_0 And that's exactly not exactly the number that I want, but I always wanted a big family.

spk_0 Like I love family.

spk_0 I love family.

spk_0 And it's a higher possibility that I won't be in a living assistant home for all the kids.

spk_0 How many kids do you want?

spk_0 I want like six.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 So three more.

spk_0 I want like three more kids.

spk_0 Three more kids.

spk_0 I love that for you.

spk_0 I mean, hearing you say that, I mean, as I was listening to you, I could tell there's like a...

spk_0 There's almost like a...

spk_0 You can almost vision what that life was like.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And there's a part of you that's like, so happy you got out at the same time.

spk_0 There's such a part of it that's there inside of you that you've been fighting against.

spk_0 You've been breaking out of, right?

spk_0

spk_0 For all of these years.

spk_0 When was the moment you felt like, I'm out.

spk_0 Like I broke out.

spk_0 Like when was that moment where you really felt like I did it.

spk_0 I'm out.

spk_0 I made it.

spk_0 You know, I'm safe now.

spk_0 It's crazy because every single time I feel like I felt like I was safe, I really wasn't.

spk_0 Oh, interesting.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 When I got on TV, when I first got on TV, I was like, did I make it?

spk_0 I didn't feel like I made it.

spk_0 Because I used to see girls going reality TV shows.

spk_0 And then they would end up right back in the strip club where I was at.

spk_0 So I never felt like I was like, oh, on TV, I made it.

spk_0 It's like I'm almost there, but I didn't make it.

spk_0 Then when I got signed to a label, it's like, I'm almost near making it.

spk_0 Because I'm signed, but I'm not where I want to be.

spk_0 Where I really felt like I made it was when Borda Gielo came out.

spk_0 The million that I made, the first real million that I made, I had to share it.

spk_0 Nobody had to share with managers because they signed me to something.

spk_0 It's mine.

spk_0 But I never felt comfortable.

spk_0 I still feel comfortable.

spk_0 Especially with how a right is trying to take it from you all the time.

spk_0 It's like, it's like I fight every day to keep this level of success because people wanted to take it from you so bad.

spk_0 People would just feel like they could tell you when you deserve to have this success.

spk_0 Because it just looks so easy, but it's not.

spk_0 It really is not.

spk_0 It's a challenge to stay here.

spk_0 It's a challenge to stay relevant.

spk_0 It's a challenge to keep your mental health right?

spk_0 It's a challenge to getting up.

spk_0 Every day is a challenge.

spk_0 It's a job.

spk_0 Everybody has a job.

spk_0 You can't complain about getting up and doing a job.

spk_0 The only thing I can complain about is millions of people that love you and then millions of people getting in your head and telling you that you deserve your job that you work hard for.

spk_0 That's what it is.

spk_0 We all have jobs.

spk_0 That's what it is about being a job.

spk_0 Don't complain.

spk_0 Everybody wants to complain.

spk_0 I work so hard.

spk_0 You have to work hard to pay your bills.

spk_0 But when you work hard and people tell you that you don't deserve the success that you have and you don't deserve to do what you do after you put in so much work, that's what you for real.

spk_0 What makes you feel like that every day?

spk_0 What are the things that make you feel like there's people constantly coming at you?

spk_0 What does that look like in your life?

spk_0 I tell you something that I've been going on for like a half minute, right?

spk_0 Like a lot of people think that I put out music, that I put out an album, that I don't be putting out this and that because they always say they're like I'm always getting pregnant at the time.

spk_0 But I don't think people follow timelines.

spk_0 When it comes to having kids, I'm very seasoned by now.

spk_0 I'm very seasoned right now.

spk_0 When I had my child at the beginning, I canceled going on a tour with Bruno Mars because it was my first time having a kid.

spk_0 I did not know anything.

spk_0 I didn't have no nanny, no nightmares.

spk_0 I was figuring out all by myself.

spk_0 I was figuring out postpartum.

spk_0 I was figuring out everything, right?

spk_0 But even when I had a child, it didn't stop me.

spk_0 Three months after I gave birth, I was doing shows four or five shows a week into COVID.

spk_0 Then COVID happened.

spk_0 And I put out this big record, WAP, and I put up.

spk_0 Then I got pregnant.

spk_0 And people thought that I didn't put out an album because I got pregnant.

spk_0 But the reason why I didn't put out an album is because I didn't had a body of work.

spk_0 I just didn't have a body of work.

spk_0 So I couldn't put out no music because I didn't have a body of work.

spk_0 Then last year, I was planning to have an album.

spk_0 I was planning to put out an album.

spk_0 But I couldn't focus.

spk_0 I felt in the deepest depression that I had ever had.

spk_0 And with that depression, I couldn't function.

spk_0 I couldn't function or nothing.

spk_0 And when I talk about function, it's not even like, oh, just working.

spk_0 I couldn't eat.

spk_0 I couldn't sleep.

spk_0 I couldn't do nothing.

spk_0 So that just halted everything that I had.

spk_0 So it's not really because I'm having a baby.

spk_0 Sometimes too, I don't be wanting to put music because I love being in the studio.

spk_0 And I love creating music.

spk_0 And I love perfecting my craft.

spk_0 And that's like baking a cake.

spk_0 You bake a cake.

spk_0 You practice baking the cake.

spk_0 And then when you put out the songs, sometimes they'd be good.

spk_0 And sometimes like for people who would just be like, we hate it.

spk_0 And she shouldn't be doing this.

spk_0 And that's like you're baking a cake.

spk_0 You bake a cake.

spk_0 And people eat the cake.

spk_0 And then people were like, this is the worst cake ever.

spk_0 And they splatted.

spk_0 Have you ever seen the Simpson?

spk_0

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 They splat the cake.

spk_0 That's how I be feeling.

spk_0 And it's like, that is the worst feeling ever.

spk_0 That's like a guy.

spk_0 Can you?

spk_0 And you think you have the best pussy in the world.

spk_0 And they tell you your pussy is trash.

spk_0 You should never.

spk_0 Nobody know more.

spk_0 That's just how I feel.

spk_0 Like you work your work your work your work your try it on your best to perform.

spk_0 Perfect the craft.

spk_0 And somebody just tell you like, you shouldn't be doing this.

spk_0 You should never do this.

spk_0 Every in your life.

spk_0 It brings you down so much.

spk_0 And if it's with your mental so much, that is like, this is why I kind of avoided it.

spk_0 Just put a piece of mine.

spk_0 Just for a piece of mine.

spk_0 I've been okay for almost a year.

spk_0 Like after I gave birth to my daughter.

spk_0 I was a little happy.

spk_0 I was going outside.

spk_0 I started dating.

spk_0 I started feeling really good.

spk_0 Sometimes I have bad days.

spk_0 Sometimes I have good days.

spk_0 Because I feel like I'm resetting in life.

spk_0 Last week when I put out a song.

spk_0 And it's not really the criticism in the song.

spk_0 The way that people ate me up tore me up.

spk_0 Chew me up.

spk_0 Just because of one song.

spk_0 I feel like I didn't deserve that.

spk_0 Especially for a song that I put so much work in.

spk_0 That I just was like, this is why I don't really put music on like this.

spk_0 Because I remember how this used to feel.

spk_0 This is a very terrible feeling to have.

spk_0 And you tell yourself like it's like a lot of these people that are telling you these type of things.

spk_0 Don't have no jobs.

spk_0 Don't have no titles.

spk_0 Don't have no this.

spk_0 But when this millions and millions and hundreds of thousands of people like it's like.

spk_0 Not only are they criticizing the song.

spk_0 They criticizing you as a whole.

spk_0 It's like this is why I don't really put things up too much.

spk_0 Because it's just like the mental health.

spk_0 The piece of mine.

spk_0 It's.

spk_0 It's so much.

spk_0 It's.

spk_0 You just gotta ask yourself sometimes is it even worth it?

spk_0 Is it even worth it?

spk_0 Because I haven't felt down like last week for a very long time.

spk_0 For almost like a year.

spk_0 Almost like a year.

spk_0 When news broke earlier this year that baby KJ, a newborn in Philadelphia, had successfully received the world's first personalized gene editing treatment.

spk_0 It represented a milestone for both researchers and patients.

spk_0 But there's a gripping tale of discovery behind this accomplishment.

spk_0 And its creators.

spk_0 I'm Evan Ratliffe and together with Biographer Walter Isaacson, we're delving into the story of Nobel Prize winner Jennifer Daudna, the woman who's helped change the trajectory of humanity.

spk_0 Listen to Aunt CRISPR, the story of Jennifer Daudna with Walter Isaacson on the iHeart Radio App Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 I'm Jonathan Goldstein and on the new season of Heavyweight, I help a centenary and Menda broken heart.

spk_0 How can a 101 year old woman fall in love?

spk_0 Again.

spk_0 And I help a man at tone.

spk_0 For an armed robbery he committed at 14 years old.

spk_0 And so I pointed the gun at him and said this isn't a joke.

spk_0 And he got down and I remember feeling kind of a surge of like, okay, this is power.

spk_0 Plus, my old friend Gregor and his brother tried to solve my problems through hypnotism.

spk_0 We could give you a whole brand new thing where you're like super charming all the time.

spk_0 Being more able to look at people in the eye.

spk_0 Not always hide behind a microphone.

spk_0 Listen to Heavyweight on the iHeart Radio App Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast season four is here.

spk_0 And we're locked in.

spk_0 That means more juicy cheese mint.

spk_0 Terrible love advice.

spk_0 Evil spells to cast on your ex.

spk_0 We're not doing that this season.

spk_0 Oh, well this season we're leveling up.

spk_0 Each episode will feature a special bestie and you're not going to want to miss it.

spk_0 Damien!

spk_0 Today we have a very special guest with us.

spk_0 Our new Super Secret Bestie is the diva of the people.

spk_0 The diva of the people.

spk_0 I'm just like texture ex.

spk_0 But my theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it.

spk_0 Go and figure it out for yourself.

spk_0 That's all.

spk_0 That's us.

spk_0 My name is Curly.

spk_0 And I'm Maya.

spk_0 In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreak, men, and of course our favorite secrets.

spk_0 Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Microtoura Podcast Network available

spk_0 on the iHeart Radio App Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 Talk to me about that depression.

spk_0 For you as confident as you are, as bold as you are to be so vulnerable and I'm so sorry you went through that.

spk_0 But to be so honest and open about the fact that a year ago you were in this dark depression

spk_0 and it seems like the worst it had ever been.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 What got you there?

spk_0 Why are you feeling so love?

spk_0 It was just a lot of pressure from my career.

spk_0 And I also felt like my marriage, like I felt the love dying.

spk_0 From Maya, from, from, from Maya, from his end.

spk_0 I was very lonely because I chose to be lonely.

spk_0 I was saying like you know what?

spk_0 I can't go through this anymore.

spk_0 I have to put a stop to it.

spk_0 But when I said I was going to put a stop to it because you could say you're going to put a, put a stop to it

spk_0 and you could, you could go a month without being around somebody.

spk_0 It's not, it's not until you, it's not when you say so.

spk_0 It's when your heart says so.

spk_0 I kept telling myself I would not contact this person for a month.

spk_0 I would not give in.

spk_0 I would not forgive this easy.

spk_0 I would not go back.

spk_0 I would not go to the pattern.

spk_0 I would not go through it.

spk_0 But I was crying every day.

spk_0 I was hurt every day.

spk_0 I was out here in LA.

spk_0 And I mentioned by myself, I was thinking about it every single day.

spk_0 And when your heart is not done, your heart is not done.

spk_0 Then I told myself I'm pregnant.

spk_0 I'm going to accept the, I'm going to accept my flaws, the flaws that I bring in this marriage.

spk_0 I'm going to apologize for it and I'm going to work on it.

spk_0 And when I take accountability and you take a vanish of me taking accountability

spk_0 and you take that as a see, I know she'd be back instead of me taking accountability.

spk_0 And you taking advantage of that?

spk_0 It really just killed everything.

spk_0 And while it was dying, I had a human groin in me.

spk_0 And I just kept thinking like it's like, what's life going to be without this person?

spk_0 What life going to be without raising my last child without this person?

spk_0 What's life going to be with that person not being my friend anymore without nothing?

spk_0 When you have those type of thoughts, it would make you sad, it will get you depressed,

spk_0 it will have you lost.

spk_0 But I overcame that and I am the strongest that I have ever been.

spk_0 I almost feel like when was I ever my strongest?

spk_0 I felt my strongest when I was 22, 23, 24.

spk_0 That's when I felt like my strongest and I was living in a power.

spk_0 And that's how I feel right now.

spk_0 I feel like I live in a power.

spk_0 And it took months for the heart to say you're done instead of my mouth and my brain.

spk_0 My heart had to be like you're done.

spk_0 Because you could say it and you could take actions.

spk_0 But even if you take actions, if you're not done, you're not done.

spk_0 Like I kept asking around that time, I was working with Shakira and I was like,

spk_0 how the fuck did you overcame this?

spk_0 How did you overcame this?

spk_0 And it's like it's going to happen and it's like it will never happen and it happened.

spk_0 It took some crying, it took some thoughts, scary thoughts.

spk_0 But I'm here.

spk_0 I'm here and I'm the strongest I've been and I'm just...

spk_0 I love hearing that.

spk_0 But it was hard.

spk_0 I can tell.

spk_0 I can see it as I'm speaking to you.

spk_0 It's not easy.

spk_0 And I think those moments in all of our lives are the most difficult moments.

spk_0 What did you do for your mental health at that time?

spk_0 What did you do?

spk_0 What actions did you take?

spk_0 What did you have to do to keep yourself together and come back the strongest you are right now?

spk_0 I think there are so many people who are listening, who've probably been through similar things,

spk_0 who feel broken, feel hurt, feel lost and confused.

spk_0 What worked for you that helped you come back the strongest you've ever been?

spk_0 I don't know if it was just time because I kind of did a little bit of everything.

spk_0 I did do therapy.

spk_0 I did sort of therapist.

spk_0 She's really good, by the way.

spk_0 It was like on Zoom and it was like...

spk_0 I was telling myself like I can't believe I'm telling a whole stranger.

spk_0 My feelings, my thoughts, my personal business for three fucking hours straight.

spk_0 What the fuck am I doing?

spk_0 That just feels so weird.

spk_0 I was in therapy for a couple of sessions.

spk_0 They didn't give me no nothing.

spk_0 I was all spring, all summer, recording.

spk_0 It just wasn't like enough.

spk_0 I just felt like I just had to let it die on its own.

spk_0 That thing's that on its own.

spk_0 And the bad thing about it is that it's not only am I dealing with that, that's my personal life.

spk_0 I was also dealing with fans putting pressure on me because they want...

spk_0 They want an album, they want products for me.

spk_0 I had people that don't like me talking down on me.

spk_0 And then I had peers trying to start pounes with me.

spk_0 And all of that, what I was going through, a mental breakdown at home.

spk_0 So it was just a lot.

spk_0 I was like, I'm trying to work it.

spk_0 I'm trying to sleep it.

spk_0 After I gave birth to my daughter, my baby girl, I was just like, get it.

spk_0 Take a break from work and I was just going out every weekend with my friends.

spk_0 It was scary talking to somebody else and giving them a little piece of me.

spk_0 I just out my heart, just a little piece of me.

spk_0 And...

spk_0 But...

spk_0 I ever came back.

spk_0 And I just...

spk_0 That's why I feel like I just became a little bit more better, like just resetting.

spk_0 Yeah, it's a good reminder that time is the ultimate reset.

spk_0 And time does have a healing power that we...

spk_0 You know, the cliche of time heals all wounds.

spk_0 But it's true.

spk_0 Yeah, it's a cliche because there's truth in it.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 There's some reality in it that time and distance and being patient enough.

spk_0 I was working with a client recently who was going through a break up.

spk_0 And when we would speak in the first month, she would tell me every single day that she couldn't stop thinking about the guys she was breaking up with.

spk_0 That broke up with her.

spk_0 And then the second month, she'd tell me every other day.

spk_0 And then the third month, she'd tell me once a week.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And then the fourth month, she was just telling me once a month.

spk_0 And I was like, you don't see it, but I see that it's affecting you less and less and less as time goes on.

spk_0 But when it's you, you feel like you're just still stuck there.

spk_0 And so it's such a great reminder that time is the ultimate reset.

spk_0 And time does heal.

spk_0 And just because time heals, like in the meantime, don't think that you shouldn't try to get help.

spk_0 Because therapy didn't really help me like that.

spk_0 I didn't work for you.

spk_0 Not as much.

spk_0 Well, maybe because maybe because I didn't get to the part where you get the help.

spk_0 I mean, I did do it like six sessions.

spk_0 I don't know how.

spk_0 Um, like sometimes when I give advice to girls, I would like bitch, boss up, blast up, quote, a word, get pretty.

spk_0 But even when I was doing that, I had like a pain in my heart.

spk_0 And sometimes when I was going out with my friends and I was having a good time, it will always be like around 4 30 a.m.

spk_0 When it's time to go home.

spk_0 And I'm drunk and I'm thinking to myself, I am alone.

spk_0 I don't have nobody to talk to.

spk_0 And it feels really weird and it feels very lonely, especially when you're used to that.

spk_0 However, don't don't avoid that.

spk_0 Don't like don't avoid that.

spk_0 But it will be time that will heal it.

spk_0 It will be time.

spk_0 Time just heals everything.

spk_0 When you said again last week, you were saying when you put new music out, it was kind of the lowest you'd felt in another year.

spk_0 What's the hardest part for you to take that criticism?

spk_0 Because like you said, you're quick with it.

spk_0 You've got responses.

spk_0 You've lived in a place where you had people coming out.

spk_0 Why is it so hard to put out something you love?

spk_0 It seems like you really put your heart into your work.

spk_0 And so when you put that out, is that why the criticism hurts the most?

spk_0 Because you put so much heart and soul into your work?

spk_0 Yes, because I put like a lot.

spk_0 I'm not a lazy person.

spk_0 And I do understand my flaws.

spk_0 Well, it's not really my flaws because a lot of people will say something about my accent, right?

spk_0 But it's funny because my accent to some people might be my flaw, but it's also my superpower and what makes me unique.

spk_0 Some people say that I have a Spanish accent, but I really don't really have a Spanish accent.

spk_0 I have a very unique accent.

spk_0 I talk very unique.

spk_0 When you try your best to like perfect your accent, perfect your flows, perfect.

spk_0 But everything, I always try to perfect everything that I'm doing at the time.

spk_0 I always try to perfect it.

spk_0 Like even when I was a stripper, like I said, okay, I'm a stripper, but I'm going to be the best pole dancer in here.

spk_0 And I'm going to get in bus, my ass, bus, my knees, practice every day and select up be the best at it.

spk_0 That's the same with music.

spk_0 I'm going to perfect it.

spk_0 That's the same with my marketing.

spk_0 That's the same with my business.

spk_0 I like to perfect things.

spk_0 And if it's not the best things, if I'm not the best at it, I could say that I tried to be.

spk_0 And I worked my ass off to be and I didn't make it easy for myself.

spk_0 So when people just throw it in your face and then make other narratives on top of it with that is like,

spk_0 that is so mean.

spk_0 And it's also like different narratives of you.

spk_0 Like I said, wow, you don't even know me.

spk_0 You don't even know me.

spk_0 And you're making all these stories, scenarios, all this this over one song.

spk_0 I, for example, when I did this song and people didn't like this song, so many people was like,

spk_0 they just, Cardi was, Cardi never deserved to be a rapper.

spk_0 They just made it so easy for her.

spk_0 And it's funny because it's like, this shit was not given to me.

spk_0 I worked my ass off for me and I planned it.

spk_0 Just like you see when I was a little girl used to plan everything, I planned every step, every single step.

spk_0 And I might even be inspirational to other artists coming up because for a long time, since I have such a big personality,

spk_0 people just feel like she's funny, she's funny, she's funny.

spk_0 So it was really hard for labels to take me serious.

spk_0 And some labels were trying to give me scraps to do a slavering record deal.

spk_0 And even when I was on TV and I thought I was going to be my big break for people to recognize me as an artist, it wasn't.

spk_0 I was doing good numbers on my mix tape.

spk_0 It wasn't enough.

spk_0 So the money that I was getting for parting and hosting, I took that money.

spk_0 I made my own concerts and the best thing about it is that everything is documenting.

spk_0 I did my own concerts for 500 to 400 people in New York, 800 people came out singing my songs.

spk_0 And I went to the label and I was like, this is why you need to sign me.

spk_0 It's not just the Instagram.

spk_0 It is real life.

spk_0 And the $15,000 that I used to get for hosting parties, I used it to rent cars, rent buses, rent venues to perform my songs to show these labels like I'm the one.

spk_0 This shit ain't fake.

spk_0 This shit ain't a personality thing.

spk_0 This ain't a loving hip hop thing.

spk_0 This is what my music is doing.

spk_0 This is the people singing it.

spk_0 Doing all of that.

spk_0 And now being this far, after you plan everything, and people will tell you that you don't deserve it and you got it because of this, this and that.

spk_0 That pisses me the f*** off.

spk_0 Because everything that I did is documented.

spk_0 This shit wasn't given to me.

spk_0 I didn't open my legs for it neither.

spk_0 So that's the type of shit that be getting me angry.

spk_0 Like it's like, don't tell me that I didn't put the f***ing work in.

spk_0 When I put the work in, there's days that I miss, I miss birthdays, I miss, I miss birthdays, I miss family events.

spk_0 This shit has gotten in the way of like my personal relationships, marriage and everything.

spk_0 Just with somebody, somebody, somebody that never f***ing did shit in their mother f***ing life.

spk_0 Tell me the eyes don't deserve it.

spk_0 F*** out of here.

spk_0 Absolutely.

spk_0 I mean, you know what though?

spk_0 I also find that Instagram and TikTok or whatever platform it is.

spk_0 The comments that are negative are just loud.

spk_0 Because you can literally go to someone's comment section and see negativity or whatever.

spk_0 But then like you said, you go to an arena and everyone in the arena screaming their name and seeing their songs.

spk_0 And so it is this really weird thing that happens for the mind where you're watching your page or you're watching yourself

spk_0 and someone else's page and there's criticism, but then actually there's all these other people that love you.

spk_0 The negativity and the hate is just so loud.

spk_0 People say stuff.

spk_0 Whereas the people that love you, they just press the heart.

spk_0 So it's always like that weird thing where I'm like the mind just overvalues negative feedback and undervalues the positive feedback.

spk_0 Because the negative feedback is just so critical and loud and heavy.

spk_0 When you reflect on it and after you think about it for a week, do you think I want to prove them wrong or do you go actually who cares about them?

spk_0 Where do you end up after a week of reflecting on it?

spk_0 Like last week, right?

spk_0 I was in tears.

spk_0 And I was telling myself, I was telling myself like it's like not only myself, I told it to my friend actually.

spk_0 I told it to my friend.

spk_0 I was like sometimes people say don't let the devil win.

spk_0 But what happens if you let the devil win?

spk_0 Maybe I need to let the devil win so I can have a piece of mind.

spk_0 And then I might take it to myself like what the fuck would I ever say let the devil win?

spk_0 Imagine praying to God on your knees every single night asking God, God please bless me with this.

spk_0 God please give me that.

spk_0 God please give me this.

spk_0 Please give me that.

spk_0 Please bless me with this.

spk_0 Please bless me with that.

spk_0 Just so you could like everything that God gave you.

spk_0 Tell the devil here you can have it.

spk_0 Because he's sending sometimes the devil sends evil and human forms and human mouths and human's tongue.

spk_0 Just so you could tell the devil to have it.

spk_0 Like imagine how God feels.

spk_0 Imagine God be like alright baby alright girl here you here here here here have this you wanted this here here's what you get.

spk_0 And then like it's like he's giving you something and then you go to school and they be like that's ugly.

spk_0 And that's something that you've been asking for a long time and now you don't like it because somebody told you that it's ugly.

spk_0 Yeah well son.

spk_0 And it's like how almost at the devil win.

spk_0 And I was telling myself that I was telling myself that and like I said I was telling it but sometimes you got to have believe it from the heart because your mind could tell you it.

spk_0 Your mouth could say it but you got to believe it from the heart.

spk_0 This week though I feel so much better and I feel so much confident and I was like I'm not going to let the devil win.

spk_0 I'm not going to be like you know what I was telling my team like because you know what I just need some days off.

spk_0 And it's like how the fuck are you going to take some days off when your team been planning all of these all of these things that you have to do for your album roll out because of these people.

spk_0 That are spewing things that the devil wants you to think of yourself.

spk_0 I almost let this one go in.

spk_0 Don't let the devil win.

spk_0 Because how do you think God feel?

spk_0 How do you think God feel, Cardi?

spk_0 Give you all this shit you were asking for forever.

spk_0 Just so you could say that.

spk_0 That really pissed me off about myself because I can't believe I said that.

spk_0 Well no I think it's human.

spk_0 Even as I'm listening to you I'm thinking everyone will be relieved because you know when someone is confident and as bold as you are and as outspoken as you are which are all amazing qualities.

spk_0 The truth is though that we all have these human moments.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And it's not a weakness.

spk_0 It's natural for all of us to feel pain, to experience sadness, to experience and it humanizes you in a good way.

spk_0 It makes me feel like, wow if Cardi feels that then hey I can feel that too.

spk_0 If she goes through those days and she gets out of them and a week later she's feeling better and a year ago she was in a real mess and she's feeling better then maybe I can take something from that as well.

spk_0 I'm not a perfect person.

spk_0 I'm not a perfect person and sometimes I'm a little bit misunderstood.

spk_0 How do you think you misunderstood?

spk_0 I don't even want to bring this up again but it's like I could tell you how I misunderstood.

spk_0 I actually got dragged for weeks because of this.

spk_0 So I mean this I think I'm just a little misunderstood.

spk_0 Sometimes I could be I don't have a I'm not a dark humor person.

spk_0 I'm not a dark humor person but sometimes like my humor could be a little rough and I feel like my humor could be a little rough because like

spk_0 you know like I said like boys in the Bronx they will make really tough jokes on you and then on top of that like it's like like a family like mine.

spk_0 We're always cracking jokes on each other.

spk_0 Like it's like like being Caribbean.

spk_0 Caribbean people like if you two skinny they'll be like girl you shape like candle.

spk_0 Like you shape like a f***ing candle just small like a f***ing candle like a white candle.

spk_0 Or like the Americans like when you shape like big from the top and small in the round they were like quail poe yuka.

spk_0 What does that mean?

spk_0 It's a certain type of yeah.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 And it's like it's rude but it's like it's just something that is like people just joke around that it's just so naturally.

spk_0 So sometimes my jokes might be a little bit not for everybody and when I make certain jokes like like I made a joke the other day

spk_0 with my fans because they literally started the joke and then I continue the joke and because of the joke and I refused to apologize for it.

spk_0 People was just saying that I'm just such a mean person that I was trying to bully people that I'm hurtful to people but it's like I wasn't even trying to hurt nobody.

spk_0 My intent wasn't to hurt nobody.

spk_0 It's just like everybody naturally jokes with their friends.

spk_0 Everybody naturally jokes with their peers.

spk_0 Everybody just might say not not the most nicest jokes or stuff like that.

spk_0 However, like I'm not trying to hurt nobody.

spk_0 I don't want to hurt nobody.

spk_0 And so many people criticize me because of that or like judge my character because of that but it's like I'm not this evil mean person that people think that that I am.

spk_0 I'm very actually compassionate.

spk_0 I'm too compassionate.

spk_0 That's why I cry for there's something that might be going on.

spk_0 And the other side of the world I'm crying for it is I'm very compassionate and I'm very understanding and I'm a Libra so I see always two sides of the scale.

spk_0 I always have sympathy just a little.

spk_0 I even have sympathy for bitches.

spk_0 I have sympathy for bitches.

spk_0 They're my men and they have taken a family lawsuit like they are my feel bad for her.

spk_0 That's so sympathetic I am.

spk_0 Why do you feel sympathy for them like where does that come from or what do you feel?

spk_0 I don't know it's just.

spk_0 It's just how you're made.

spk_0 It's just how I'm out.

spk_0 That's just how I'm made and stuff like that's just how I am.

spk_0 However, people just have this thought of me and that's because my mouth is so rough like I'm a little rough and I curse like a sailor.

spk_0 And I give advice very strong.

spk_0 But everybody in my family give advice like very strong and I don't have yes man neither.

spk_0 So my friends who give me advice in the most rudest way that is like damn bitch do you like me but it's the truth.

spk_0 And that's just how I am.

spk_0 That's how I'm going to talk to you and that's just how I am because it's the truth.

spk_0 And you're like that with everyone.

spk_0 It doesn't change for anyone.

spk_0 And I don't like that with everyone.

spk_0 How about the kids?

spk_0 I'm like that.

spk_0 I'm like that with my kids too like you look.

spk_0 God damn it I'm tired.

spk_0 But you can tell me I'm a bad mom.

spk_0 I'm a great mom if I'm good at something is being a mom but sometimes I'm like get the fuck you look.

spk_0 God damn it I'm sick of you.

spk_0 That's just how I talk.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Does that make me a bad mom?

spk_0 I don't think I'm a bad mom.

spk_0 Shit I give them too much.

spk_0 It's funny you said that I was talking to a parenting expert on the podcast a few weeks ago.

spk_0 And she was saying that parenting is the most inconvenient thing.

spk_0 She says you love them but they're inconvenient.

spk_0 Like it's hard like if you're honest about it and so there's a real feeling about how tough being a mom is.

spk_0 How do you balance being a superstar and being a mom?

spk_0 Like how do you make it you said it yourself you want to be the best at everything when you do something you want to be the best at it.

spk_0 So I assume that applies to being a mom too.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And so it's like how do you do that?

spk_0 What is it to you?

spk_0 What makes you a great mom?

spk_0 What are the parts that you focus on and how do you balance those two crazy worlds?

spk_0 I think that what makes me I think that what makes me like a good mom.

spk_0 I don't give my kids it's not that give my kids everything but they just think I'm so funny.

spk_0 Like even when I curse at them they just think I'm so funny.

spk_0 And it's like I'm being serious with you all but they just love me.

spk_0 I don't know why they I mean of course I know what they love me but it's like why I love you so much.

spk_0 I guess I'm a good mom because they love me so much.

spk_0 They just think I'm so entertaining.

spk_0 They think I'm so fun.

spk_0 Even when we just laying in bed they just want to lay in bed with me.

spk_0 Ain't no target.

spk_0 We ain't going to the goddamn target.

spk_0 We ain't going to target.

spk_0 So as you find out what the goddamn role blocks.

spk_0 That's exactly how don't come here and ask me for no goddamn role.

spk_0 You ask me one more time for and I pay for one of your cousins.

spk_0 We're going to have a problem.

spk_0 This is exactly how I talk to my kids.

spk_0 And they still love me.

spk_0 They just love me.

spk_0 I don't know.

spk_0 They love me for who I am.

spk_0 They love me.

spk_0 I don't even know how to explain it.

spk_0 I do I do give them everything though.

spk_0 But not giving them everything doesn't always make you the greatest mom because it's like you see.

spk_0 You see in cases where like the parents work so hard they give they pay and they kids everything.

spk_0 And it's not enough like them two brothers.

spk_0 Was they they call again?

spk_0 Oh yeah.

spk_0 The man in this brother.

spk_0 Yeah, you could give them everything but if they don't love you they just don't love you.

spk_0 And I don't know.

spk_0 They just they just love me.

spk_0 I just always remind them that I love them.

spk_0 But I will curse them out though.

spk_0 Hey guys, it's AZFUD.

spk_0 You may know me as a gold medalist.

spk_0 You may know me as an NCAA national champion and recent most outstanding player.

spk_0 You may even know me as a people's princess.

spk_0 But now you're also going to know me as your favorite coach.

spk_0 Every week on my new podcast, fun around and find out.

spk_0 I'll give you an insight look at everything happening in my crazy light as I try to balance it all from my travels across the globe to preparing for another run at the Nadi with my Yukon Huskies to just try to make it to my midterms on time.

spk_0 You'll get the inside scoop on everything.

spk_0 I'll be talking to some special guests about pop culture basketball and what it's like to be a professional athlete on an off the court.

spk_0 You'll even get to have some fun with the FUD family.

spk_0 So if you follow me on social media or watching on TV, you may think you know me.

spk_0 But this show is the only place where you can really fun around and find out.

spk_0 Listen to fun around and find out a production of I Heart Women's Sports and partnership with unanimous media on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 The risks they took would be unthinkable to any doctor today.

spk_0 But odds are someone you know is alive because of them.

spk_0 Welcome to the Wild West of American Medicine.

spk_0 I'm Chris Pine and this is cardiac cowboys, a podcast that tells the gripping true story behind the birth of open heart surgery and the Maverick surgeons who made it happen.

spk_0 It changed the way we live. It changed the life expectancy of people throughout the world.

spk_0 I should be dead. The repair that he did when I was six years old saved me.

spk_0 A Ragtag group of surgeons united by a common mission.

spk_0 Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings, advised presidents.

spk_0 Others ended up disgraced, penniless, convicted of felonies.

spk_0 Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine.

spk_0 It says if a man landed on the moon and nobody even told the story except this is more important.

spk_0 Listen to the cardiac cowboys podcast starting February 6th on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 It may look different but native culture is very alive.

spk_0 My name is Nicole Garcia and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture.

spk_0 It was a huge honor to be a comah television writer because it does feel oddly like very traditional.

spk_0 It feels like Bob Dylan going electric that this is something we've been doing for the time and its years.

spk_0 You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence.

spk_0 That's Sierra, Teller or Nellis, who with Brotherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history.

spk_0 On the podcast Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story along with other native stories such as the creation of the first native Comic Con or the importance of reservation basketball.

spk_0 Every day native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream.

spk_0 Listen to Burn Sage, Burn Bridges on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 What's a quality or skill that you have that you really want them to learn and develop and grow as they get older?

spk_0 I know they're young right now but...

spk_0 Please don't be a bum.

spk_0 Please don't be lazy.

spk_0 Some people have the look, the intelligence, the talent.

spk_0 Some people really have that but they don't go nowhere because they're lazy.

spk_0 Don't be lazy.

spk_0 Don't just be all your parents like this and that.

spk_0 Know, be your own person, be your own human.

spk_0 Be something.

spk_0 Be something that you could be proud of.

spk_0 My mom, she was not...

spk_0 She was a lunch lady practically but I am very proud of my mom because she used to work her ass off.

spk_0 She couldn't go into my grandma like I'm going to a tough time right now.

spk_0 Can you raise my kids for a year or two?

spk_0 She never did that.

spk_0 My grandmother's as well.

spk_0 One of them got 10 kids, the other one got 13 kids.

spk_0 They work every day.

spk_0 My grandma from my dad's side, she gave birth to all her kids in her wooden house.

spk_0 And then a couple of days later she worked back in the farm and she brought all her kids to America.

spk_0 One by one, different time.

spk_0 Same with my grandma, she had...

spk_0 For my mom's side, she had 13 kids.

spk_0 She used to cook, cook, cook, cook, sell food, sell food, sell food.

spk_0 She brought all her 13 kids over here like it's...

spk_0 It's no excuse but I could say that because they did that.

spk_0 And you're going to be able to say that about me like because my mom worked every day.

spk_0 I seen my mom work every day.

spk_0 Be that.

spk_0 One day you're going to have kids one day and you want your kids to say that about you.

spk_0 That you worked hard every day.

spk_0 That everything you got you deserve.

spk_0 That you made it.

spk_0 Nobody gave it to you.

spk_0 You don't want to be like, oh, you're just successful because you're a whole man.

spk_0 Like I have son.

spk_0 I have a son.

spk_0 You don't want nobody to say that you fly and you fire because you're somebody's son.

spk_0 No, I'm fly because I'm my own man.

spk_0 I made myself a man.

spk_0 I worked my ass off.

spk_0 You don't have a bitch one day.

spk_0 You don't want your bitch to be like, oh, he a mama boy.

spk_0 He a daddy's good...no.

spk_0 I'm a hardworking man, baby girl.

spk_0 You can't.

spk_0 Same with my daughters.

spk_0 You know, they're going to roll you over because you got your own shit.

spk_0 You're more than just a pretty face.

spk_0 Be a boss.

spk_0 Be something.

spk_0 Please.

spk_0 I don't give a fuck what they do.

spk_0 Whatever the fuck.

spk_0 Just do not have that lazy bone on you.

spk_0 Like the...

spk_0 Ain't no way that I'm bustin' my ass for you motherfuckers.

spk_0 Just so you could end up not being shit.

spk_0 I'm giving you everything.

spk_0 Even when they're 18 and stuff like that and it's time to leave.

spk_0 If you want to apartment, if you want to...

spk_0 If you want to occur, I'll give it to you.

spk_0 But please, please.

spk_0 Become something.

spk_0 Don't be...please don't be nothing.

spk_0 That'll be the worst disappointment they could ever do.

spk_0 Don't disappoint me like that.

spk_0 What the fuck you all do?

spk_0 Just don't be a nothing.

spk_0 If you give it to them, they'll be lazy then.

spk_0 Because if you give them an apartment and you give them a card

spk_0 and they'll feel like, well, I don't need to work because mom's got me.

spk_0 No, because it's like...

spk_0 Like, alright, for example, I want to college, right?

spk_0 But I had to drop out of college because I had to work to just feed myself.

spk_0 If you got a crib and if you could maneuver to college

spk_0 or you probably want to open up a business or something,

spk_0 if you could maneuver and you don't got to worry about a bill,

spk_0 then it becomes easier for you.

spk_0 But don't make me give you an apartment or a fucking car

spk_0 and you're just out here not doing shit.

spk_0 I better every single time I face time,

spk_0 you better be motherfucking doing something.

spk_0 If you're in bed, I fucking 12 p.m.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And I call under my name.

spk_0 It's always something with me.

spk_0 You need a real world.

spk_0 I'm gonna have to...and no go to your daddy.

spk_0 I'm gonna see a fucking daddy.

spk_0 I would take the shit away.

spk_0 I don't play that.

spk_0 You ain't gonna be nothing.

spk_0 Yeah, you're clearly not that.

spk_0 You're gonna be doing it by yourself.

spk_0 You got two feet, you got two hands, you got a brain,

spk_0 you better do some shit.

spk_0 Yeah, for sure.

spk_0 I started working when I was 14.

spk_0 I used to deliver newspapers at the time.

spk_0 And then I started working at a grocery store.

spk_0 I used to work at the back and stack the shelves,

spk_0 pick up all the pallets, bring all the goods in,

spk_0 work back of house.

spk_0 And then I worked and sold jeans at some jean shop.

spk_0 It's like I found working since I was 14.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Is what made me realize the value of work.

spk_0 And I've been working hard ever since.

spk_0 And if I didn't start working hard at 14,

spk_0 I feel like my parents didn't have anything to give me either.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 But I feel like that work ethic has to start early.

spk_0 It do have to start early.

spk_0 And that's why I like it's like sometimes

spk_0 when my parents...here comes my parents sometimes.

spk_0 My parents, they begin to my nerves sometimes.

spk_0 Like they begin to my fucking nerves sometimes.

spk_0 Because like my kids, they have school to 3 p.m. right?

spk_0 And after school, I don't care.

spk_0 And I don't want to try at home talking about like,

spk_0 I'm a little tough and shit.

spk_0 I don't give a f*** this what I work hard for.

spk_0 After school, my kids, four times a week,

spk_0 they have tutoring, reading, math, whatever.

spk_0 They have tutoring, mandatory in my house.

spk_0 Then, culture had piano or she got gym class.

spk_0 Wave, he got sports class,

spk_0 and he still got to do the tutoring.

spk_0 And I don't want to sleep me.

spk_0 I don't want to hear that shit.

spk_0 It's discipline.

spk_0 It got to be in you.

spk_0 And you have to be better than me.

spk_0 I want you to be better than me.

spk_0 There's things that I cannot do that I want my kids to do.

spk_0 I don't know how to swim.

spk_0 I would love to swim.

spk_0 But the one time I went to a pool in high bridge,

spk_0 there was a crazy fight that broke out.

spk_0 People was getting cut left to right.

spk_0 So I couldn't go swimming because I had no pool.

spk_0 If I have a pool, you're going to learn how to swim.

spk_0 You're going to take your swimming classes.

spk_0 I'm not really good with my feet.

spk_0 So you're going to take dance classes.

spk_0 Because if you want to, if you ever want to be a superstar,

spk_0 that shit's going to be in you, then you are the answer.

spk_0 I want you to be smarter than me.

spk_0 Like, I could read down.

spk_0 But my grandma's not that great.

spk_0 I want you to be not perfect

spk_0 because you cannot make your kids perfect.

spk_0 And you don't want you to put pressure on your kids perfect.

spk_0 But I want you to be a hundred times better version than me.

spk_0 And I'm going to install that in you.

spk_0 And you want me mad and you want me crying.

spk_0 But you're going to appreciate that one day.

spk_0 Because I wish, I wish the things that I put on my kids,

spk_0 that somebody put in me when I was younger.

spk_0 But they couldn't put that in me when I was younger

spk_0 because they couldn't afford it.

spk_0 And they couldn't really have time to be like,

spk_0 Buckley's, Buckley's, Buckley's,

spk_0 Hennessy, Hennessy, Hennessy, because they had to work.

spk_0 I have to work, but I'm going to be class-boy.

spk_0 Grab me something, boy.

spk_0 Grab me something, girl.

spk_0 I'm playing with y'all.

spk_0 I love it.

spk_0 Success is so much of who you are and who you breathe.

spk_0 It's what you do.

spk_0 What makes Cardi be happy?

spk_0 It's like, little, little elements.

spk_0 Like, my kids make me very happy.

spk_0 They're just so f***ing cute and funny.

spk_0 Like, it's just...

spk_0 And they say stupid stuff.

spk_0 Like, it's like...

spk_0 What did they say?

spk_0 Just things that is like, girl, what?

spk_0 It's funny.

spk_0 And it's funny seeing your kids grow and develop a little character.

spk_0 And I'm like,

spk_0 Mom, baby, she'd be hitting her brother and sister.

spk_0 It'd be so funny because it's like a baby.

spk_0 And they're just there taking it.

spk_0 So to me, little things like that is funny.

spk_0 And makes me happy.

spk_0 Romance.

spk_0 You know what I'm saying when I'm in love and when we're having a go...

spk_0 You know, we're having a go week.

spk_0 When you're showing that you care, that makes me happy.

spk_0 You know, actually, when I did saw a piece of an interview with Selena Gomez and you,

spk_0 when she said, I might have a 14-hour day and just one phone call.

spk_0 And when somebody's there for you, it's a good feeling.

spk_0 That's a good feeling as well.

spk_0 What else is a good feeling for me?

spk_0 When I'm with my cousins, when I'm with my family,

spk_0 and we were just cracking jokes and it just feels...

spk_0 It feels like childhood.

spk_0 It makes me happy.

spk_0 Music made me very happy.

spk_0 I love music.

spk_0 When me and my team, we plan something.

spk_0 We put in so much work and it goes good.

spk_0 That makes me happy.

spk_0 The team happy and it motivates me and it motivates my team.

spk_0 And it's just like, we did it.

spk_0 So stuff like that makes me happy.

spk_0 Seeing all the work that you do and the time that you put,

spk_0 the process, the progress that you put and it's like,

spk_0 it hits, it's successful.

spk_0 That makes me really happy.

spk_0 Like it's like, thank God, thank you, Jesus.

spk_0 It makes me want to keep going.

spk_0 Just like...

spk_0 That's a good list.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 That's a good list.

spk_0 I like it.

spk_0 So connection.

spk_0 It's all real.

spk_0 It's human.

spk_0 It's love.

spk_0 It's family.

spk_0 It's friends.

spk_0 It's intimacy.

spk_0 It's all the most beautiful things that we're all looking for.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 How do you see love now?

spk_0 Like, how do you define love?

spk_0 Effer.

spk_0 It's not going to always be perfect.

spk_0 Effer is like a lot to me.

spk_0 It means a lot to me.

spk_0 Like calling me, studying me, personality as well.

spk_0 I love me a joke.

spk_0 I love me a he, he, he.

spk_0 You know what I'm saying?

spk_0 Like, if I come to you and I'm in tears, when was the last week?

spk_0 I saw my little boyfriend.

spk_0 I saw my boyfriend.

spk_0 And I was in tears.

spk_0 I was like, it's so much pressure on me.

spk_0 Like, it's so much pressure on me.

spk_0 And just one little joke.

spk_0 I like how my tears.

spk_0 I kind of forgot the joke, but it was so funny.

spk_0 That's good.

spk_0 And like, not coming out of my nose and it's like, it made me laugh.

spk_0 It just made me feel good.

spk_0 And it's just like, you know what?

spk_0 Things are going to be okay.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Someone you can, someone you can, someone who can make you laugh, cry, and someone who can be there for you when you're crying real hard to.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 I like that.

spk_0 And I like, I like what you said, study you.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 That was really interesting.

spk_0 I've never heard that before, but I like it.

spk_0 The idea that if someone loves you, they study you.

spk_0 What does that mean to you?

spk_0 Tell me about that.

spk_0 I like that one a lot.

spk_0 Certain things are just the obvious.

spk_0 You know what I'm saying?

spk_0 Like, certain things are like, are you really studying me or is just the obvious?

spk_0 Like, for example, if you get me a purse, if you get me a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, Kelly, right?

spk_0 It makes me happy, of course.

spk_0 Like, who, who don't, who, who, which woman don't, a bag, make them happy?

spk_0 But you know that that's what I like.

spk_0 So it's not like you study it.

spk_0 It's like you see it on my page.

spk_0 But like when you do things that you don't normally do, but you do it because you heard me talk about this.

spk_0 Like, like when you rent a castle, and I know you don't want to be in this old desk castle that you literally got to go up and down the stairs just so you could pee.

spk_0 And it's hot and there's no air conditioner.

spk_0 When you rent a castle out just so you could just because you, you keep saying like, I can't wait.

spk_0 I can't wait to have a day off in Paris.

spk_0 So I could go to her side.

spk_0 I'm obsessed with castles.

spk_0 I'm obsessed with kings.

spk_0 I'm obsessed with queens.

spk_0 And it's like you listen to that and you like do your best to make it happen.

spk_0 It's like, it's like little things like that.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 So you always leave in clues.

spk_0 It's not even like leaving clues.

spk_0 It's just like me talking about my, just you talking this me talking is like it means stuff to me and stuff like that.

spk_0 When you get to know my personality too and get to study me.

spk_0 It's like, okay.

spk_0 Because I'm a, I think I'm a heart person to figure out.

spk_0 Some people just see me and think certain things.

spk_0 And so you really get to figure me out and crack me.

spk_0 Because I might give you what I want to give you.

spk_0 You haven't cracked me yet.

spk_0 Will anyone ever crack you?

spk_0 Is it possible?

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Little by little I open up.

spk_0 And I show more of myself.

spk_0 Real self.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 It's been, it's been seven years since you released new music.

spk_0 And you've talked to me about releasing it.

spk_0 The hard work that went into it.

spk_0 The journey that got you there.

spk_0 Why you waited.

spk_0 What finally made you feel confident that you had the right piece of work?

spk_0 What did you put into it?

spk_0 How did you know that now is the right time and the work was ready?

spk_0 Because it feels good.

spk_0 It feels good.

spk_0 Like it's like this.

spk_0 I feel like people are missing this.

spk_0 It feels good.

spk_0 I feel good.

spk_0 I feel confident about it.

spk_0 I feel very confident about it.

spk_0 To be honest with you.

spk_0 So that's where I, that's where I'm like, it's time.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Where did the name of my drama go inspired that?

spk_0 What's the subtext?

spk_0 What's the hidden meanings behind it?

spk_0 I don't want to keep saying when I was a little girl.

spk_0 But it's funny.

spk_0 Like it's like, say, yeah, I love knowing that you manifested this.

spk_0 It's beautiful.

spk_0 No, because it's like ever since I was a little girl.

spk_0 I always get in trouble.

spk_0 And it don't really be me.

spk_0 Like it's like, if we're having a sleepover, me and my cousins,

spk_0 I would be the one that the aunt is pulling their ears.

spk_0 Because it's like, yeah, I know this was your idea.

spk_0 But it even was, it wasn't even my idea.

spk_0 Sometimes when I used to go to school and I used to fight,

spk_0 my mom used to be like, then I tell you to avoid the fight.

spk_0 And it's like, mom, I swear to God, it's not me.

spk_0 It's these girls.

spk_0 They keep trying me.

spk_0 That's why I keep getting into fights.

spk_0 And when I was a school two, like it's like,

spk_0 when I do get in trouble just because I'm being mischievous,

spk_0 it's like, like my friend's mom used to be like,

spk_0 it's because of her.

spk_0 It's because of it.

spk_0 It's because of Belkha Lee's.

spk_0 I know it's her.

spk_0 And it's like, it don't really be me.

spk_0 It really don't be me.

spk_0 And that's just how it is with my life.

spk_0 Like it's like, yo, I'm always in a scandal.

spk_0 I'm always in some bullshit.

spk_0 I'm always in some beef.

spk_0 And it's like, no matter how much I avoid it,

spk_0 it comes to me.

spk_0 Am I the fucking drama?

spk_0 Isn't me, Jesus.

spk_0 Isn't me.

spk_0 No matter how much I avoid it,

spk_0 no matter how much I think I'm in a bubble

spk_0 and it's like, nope, that bubble is always going to pop.

spk_0 Something's always going to find you, girl.

spk_0 But that's why I like,

spk_0 am I the drama?

spk_0 Why am I always in some shit?

spk_0 Whether it's good or bad,

spk_0 why am I always in some shit?

spk_0 What's the answer?

spk_0 Am I?

spk_0 That's the answer is through the question.

spk_0 Am I?

spk_0 Only one person can answer that.

spk_0 And that's Jesus.

spk_0 Because, God, why the fuck am I always in some shit?

spk_0 When is the fucking boat going to start smooth sailing?

spk_0 Why are we always in the ocean,

spk_0 in the middle of the ocean,

spk_0 in the roughest, we're in the Pacific Ocean all the time?

spk_0 I love that.

spk_0 It's a great question.

spk_0 It lines up for a great album.

spk_0 It's such a great name.

spk_0 It's such a great energy,

spk_0 even just hearing you talk about it is.

spk_0 It's such a great vibe.

spk_0 But what's the,

spk_0 I mean, how does it feel when that drama gets to me?

spk_0 It's televised and then it's all over TikTok.

spk_0 How does that feel?

spk_0 Nope.

spk_0 Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

spk_0 You were sure I'm looking fabulous,

spk_0 but I'm like,

spk_0 how does that feel when like, you know?

spk_0 Well, I try to come in here having eyes like you,

spk_0 but one of,

spk_0 one of the contacts wasn't cooperating.

spk_0 So I'm like,

spk_0 I'm not taking this other contact off.

spk_0 So that's why we have the,

spk_0 yeah, that's why we got three blue eyes and one said,

spk_0 it's the four.

spk_0 I love it.

spk_0 So how does it feel when,

spk_0 when your drama is televised?

spk_0 Like when that is televised?

spk_0 How does that feel?

spk_0 It just feels,

spk_0 sometimes it feels okay,

spk_0 because there's going to be people that's going to cheer for you.

spk_0 And sometimes it's going to be very overwhelming, like,

spk_0 and very stressful,

spk_0 very annoying.

spk_0 And then it's like,

spk_0 unlike other celebrities,

spk_0 you know, a lot of people be wanting me to be like certain celebrities

spk_0 and stuff like that.

spk_0 Oh, really?

spk_0 Like who?

spk_0 Like they just want me to be like the type of person

spk_0 that just don't respond,

spk_0 that don't tell my feelings.

spk_0 And

spk_0 everything that some of these celebrities,

spk_0 like, they're perfect,

spk_0 which they are amazing,

spk_0 but don't think they're not going through what I'm going through.

spk_0 Don't think they don't feel like what the pressure they,

spk_0 that I go through.

spk_0 Don't think they're not saying,

spk_0 yeah, I hate you, mother.

spk_0 Because what a f**k you think you are to tell me that I'm this,

spk_0 what a f**k you think you this and that?

spk_0 I'm just the person that tells it.

spk_0 So,

spk_0 it's a blessing and a curse

spk_0 because sometimes I feel like I speak for them.

spk_0 And that's why a lot of celebrities see me.

spk_0 They be like,

spk_0 you'll be saying what I want to say.

spk_0 That's cool.

spk_0 But then sometimes that occurs because sometimes people be like,

spk_0 oh, you're the only one that do that.

spk_0 You're the only one that do that.

spk_0 And it's like, well,

spk_0 I'll be the one that do that.

spk_0 I can't do it all the time, though,

spk_0 because then people don't think I'm just crazy.

spk_0 But I'll be the one that do that.

spk_0 You don't need to leave f**king people alone.

spk_0 You don't think because that's celebrity,

spk_0 we make a lot of money, we make a lot of this.

spk_0 Because that bitch.

spk_0 I feel it's too hot.

spk_0 I ain't no chap liver.

spk_0 So,

spk_0 maybe that's why I'm sometimes like the punching bags.

spk_0 And sometimes people be like, you need to stop doing that.

spk_0 You need to stop being this.

spk_0 You need to be more like them.

spk_0 And it's like, they feel the same way I feel too.

spk_0 They want to tell these people.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 You ain't your mom.

spk_0 They're your dad.

spk_0 And your whole bloodline.

spk_0 How the f**k are you talking on me?

spk_0 F**k you.

spk_0 Trust me.

spk_0 They want to say that.

spk_0 I think everyone does.

spk_0 But I'll be the one to say it.

spk_0 But that's because sometimes it do feel good to say it.

spk_0 F**k you.

spk_0 I'll be the one.

spk_0 Now all the time.

spk_0 But I'll be the one.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Yeah, I can see that from all the clips that I've seen.

spk_0 Like, you're always yourself.

spk_0 Like, you're never not yourself.

spk_0 Wherever you are.

spk_0 The glam, the looks, the fashion, the wigs, the...

spk_0 Everything that comes out of your mouth, it's like, you never...

spk_0 You never filtering yourself.

spk_0 No matter the environment you're in.

spk_0 Oh, trust me.

spk_0 I feel so much so far.

spk_0 Oh, you do?

spk_0 Sometimes I feel like, you're...

spk_0 F**k you, man.

spk_0 F**k you.

spk_0 I become...

spk_0 Because I, you know, you say, have no filter.

spk_0 Now it's just like, I'm like, I...

spk_0 But still f**k you, though.

spk_0 Where do you filter yourself?

spk_0 If you ever do, where do you filter yourself?

spk_0 F**k you.

spk_0 This mouth...

spk_0 I could be a piranha.

spk_0 What are we today, a shark?

spk_0 No, today's...

spk_0 No, today I'm a goldfish.

spk_0 Okay, today I'm a goldfish.

spk_0 I said nothing bad today, today I'm a goldfish.

spk_0 No, no, no, no.

spk_0 I'm a really nice today.

spk_0 You have been wonderful.

spk_0 But it's like, sometimes I'm seeing people when I be like...

spk_0 I can get really nasty.

spk_0 But you hold back something.

spk_0 But I hold back so much.

spk_0 I hold back so much, so much, so much, so much, so much.

spk_0 I really, you know what?

spk_0 I really did change a lot.

spk_0 I don't know what changed me.

spk_0 Maybe the age.

spk_0 Maybe the kids.

spk_0 Maybe life.

spk_0 You soften up a bit.

spk_0 I always been soft, but I could really give it to you.

spk_0 And I won't stop.

spk_0 But I stop.

spk_0 Just work.

spk_0

spk_0 Is it the ages of the kids, which one is there?

spk_0 All of them.

spk_0 All of the above.

spk_0 It's a combination.

spk_0 Age really wise to you.

spk_0 Why is it you would make you afraid?

spk_0 Yeah, got more to lose.

spk_0 I think that plays a big part.

spk_0 When you're young and you're dreaming and you want all these things,

spk_0 no one ever tells you the cost that it comes at.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And how much it tests you and brings all sorts of other challenges into your life.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 You've talked about how money doesn't fix everything and success doesn't solve everything.

spk_0 And it almost feels like when you don't have those things, you think it will.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And then when you get it, you realize, oh wait, there's all this other stuff that we haven't figured out yet.

spk_0 I had this like overwhelming sensation that I had to call a right then.

spk_0 And I just hit call, said, you know, hey, I'm Jacob Schick.

spk_0 I'm the CEO of One Tribe Foundation.

spk_0 And I just wanted to call on and let her know there's a lot of people battling some of the very same things you're battling.

spk_0 And there is help out there.

spk_0 The Good Stuff podcast season two takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a nonprofit fighting suicide in the veteran community.

spk_0 September is National Suicide Prevention Month.

spk_0 So join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission.

spk_0 I was married to a combat army veteran and he actually took his own life to suicide.

spk_0 One tribe saved my life twice.

spk_0 There's a lot of love that flows through this place and it's sincere.

spk_0 Now it's a personal mission that won't have to go to any more funerals, you know.

spk_0 I got blown up on a react mission.

spk_0 I ended up having an amputation below the knee of my right leg and a traumatic brain injury because I landed on my head.

spk_0 Welcome the season two of The Good Stuff.

spk_0 Listen to The Good Stuff podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 Hi, I'm Kurt Brown-Oeler.

spk_0 And I am Scotty Landis and we host bananas, the Weird News podcast with wonderful guests like Whitney Cummings.

spk_0 And tackle the truly tough questions.

spk_0 Why is Cool Mom an insult but mom is fine?

spk_0 No, I always say cool, Kurt's a fun dad.

spk_0 Fun dad and cool mom, that's cool for me.

spk_0 We also dig into important life stuff like why are last names would make the worst hyphen ever?

spk_0 My last name is Cummings, I have stiffed the furt and nobody.

spk_0 Mine's brown-Oeler but with an H so it looks like brown-holer.

spk_0 Okay, that's okay, yours might be worse, we can never get married.

spk_0 Listen to this episode with Whitney Cummings and check out new episodes of bananas every Tuesday on the exactly right network.

spk_0 Listen to bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 Hey, says, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance bro tell you how to manage your money again?

spk_0 Welcome to Brown-Oenvision.

spk_0 This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards.

spk_0 If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you are racking up credit or turning to credit cards,

spk_0 you may just recreate the same problem a year from now.

spk_0 When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates,

spk_0 I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union,

spk_0 shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable.

spk_0 Listen, I am not here to judge.

spk_0 It is so expensive in these streets, I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt on it weighs on you.

spk_0 It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand, it's nice and dark in the sand.

spk_0 Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it and in fact it may get even worse.

spk_0 For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown-Emvision on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 What is something that you are still trying to figure out, learn, solve in your own life?

spk_0 What is the part of your life you are working on dreaming and visioning, imagining to be better and different?

spk_0 I mean life in general.

spk_0 All of it.

spk_0 All of it to be honest with you.

spk_0 Life just doesn't get... I wonder when life is going to do things start getting easier.

spk_0 Because life is just hard.

spk_0 No matter if you have money or not, you got problems when you pour, you got problems where you reach.

spk_0 You're always just trying to figure it out.

spk_0 Every single day I feel like people are just trying to figure it out, trying to figure themselves out, trying to figure life out.

spk_0 And it just will never stop.

spk_0 No, never stop, I think.

spk_0 When would it do with that?

spk_0 When you're 60?

spk_0 But even when you're 60, you're going to start having other problems, like back problems.

spk_0 It is like another thing, another problem that you got to figure out.

spk_0 You don't say it's just a whenever stop.

spk_0 The older you get, the more people you lose, the more kids you have, the more things you have to worry about.

spk_0 The more money you have, the more you have to learn about managing.

spk_0 You have a partner.

spk_0 Or you don't have a partner.

spk_0 You got to figure out how you...

spk_0 If you want to deal with being alone, when you have a partner, you got to figure out how to be a piece and everything.

spk_0 And I really don't want people thinking either that it is just because you have money, like it's like you live the easy life.

spk_0 Everybody that they have money, that are successful, that are good, how are they doing?

spk_0 If you notice a pattern, they work their asses off.

spk_0 You think the Beyonce got a...

spk_0 You can vote in a mansion and this and that because she just...

spk_0 Beyonce?

spk_0 No, she worked her ass off.

spk_0 She's one of the most hardest people ever.

spk_0 Why people cannot go to her level?

spk_0 Why people cannot do this and that because they just...

spk_0 She just have an insane work ethic, insane time.

spk_0 And my partner, he works out every day at 5.36 am and leave work at 7.00 pm.

spk_0 And then you got people that hate on him and he's like, well, why he's so good?

spk_0 Because he works hard.

spk_0 Why am I here after seven years?

spk_0 Because I'm every day, every day.

spk_0 Working every day, what we're doing next.

spk_0 Hello, what's y'all doing?

spk_0 Wake up.

spk_0 I got a certain plan.

spk_0 I just thought of something.

spk_0 I just had a dream of something.

spk_0 We got to make it happen.

spk_0 And working hard, you could say working hard and it sounds like working hard,

spk_0 but it's like hours and hours and hours and hours.

spk_0 It's time and it's body is brain.

spk_0 I'm exhausted.

spk_0 I'm really exhausted right now.

spk_0 Back hurt, but hurt.

spk_0 I'm sleepy and shit.

spk_0 I got a headache on the right side of my head.

spk_0 When I'm working, after this, I got to do a promotion

spk_0 and then I'm going to the studio and then tomorrow I got to do something else every single day, every single day, every single day.

spk_0 If you wanted, you got to do it.

spk_0 No complain or crying shit.

spk_0 In this conversation, you've talked about Jesus.

spk_0 You talked about the devil.

spk_0 Do you talk to God a lot?

spk_0 Do you pray every day?

spk_0 Every day.

spk_0 I feel like I have a very deep spiritual connection with God.

spk_0 And it's not even like about praying, it's like talking.

spk_0 Even when I talk to God, I talk to Him just like I'm talking to you.

spk_0 I be cursing, crying.

spk_0 Because people are like, oh, cursing is bad, but it's like, God knows who I am.

spk_0 God knows who I am.

spk_0 God knows I be.

spk_0 Because almost like I'm talking to a friend.

spk_0 And I really do believe in my weird mind, in my weird universe that I made,

spk_0 like I have angels.

spk_0 I really do believe that God gave me angels.

spk_0 And I believe in them.

spk_0 I feel like God is here and I feel like you got your angels here,

spk_0 then you got your other religions here.

spk_0 I believe in God so much.

spk_0 It's not even funny.

spk_0 And you know, some people might not believe in God, but it's like, don't try.

spk_0 Like it's like, I'm not going to convince nobody to believe in what I believe in.

spk_0 But if it, how do you expect me not to believe on the person that I've been praying to my whole life

spk_0 and gave me what I wanted?

spk_0 So that little girl was talking to God in that dream.

spk_0 Always, all the time.

spk_0 Is that the imaginary friend, the voice in your head, the you think is your friend,

spk_0 do you think is your voice?

spk_0 That's just, that was just you talking to God the whole time.

spk_0 I was just you talking to God the whole time.

spk_0 I love him. I believe in him.

spk_0 I always tell this to somebody like it's like the most, the most,

spk_0 the most I could give you the most powerful thing that I could give you is me praying on you.

spk_0 If I pray on you for you, it's because I love you.

spk_0 It's the most powerful thing.

spk_0 And I do feel like when you prayed together, miracles happen.

spk_0 I love him.

spk_0 I love you so much.

spk_0 Why do you love me so much?

spk_0 Tell it, tell it, tell it, tell it, tell it, tell it, ready.

spk_0 I'm like one of your favorite kids.

spk_0 Tell them.

spk_0 Jesus, Lord, tell these people.

spk_0 I'm one of your favorites.

spk_0 I love out of them.

spk_0 That's beautiful.

spk_0 Kadi, you've been so, so generous with your time, your energy, your heart.

spk_0 I really felt, you know, this surpassed everyone of my expectations that I had of meeting you

spk_0 and getting to interview you.

spk_0 Hey, yeah, what?

spk_0 I knew there was so much spirit.

spk_0 I knew there was so much soul.

spk_0 I knew there was just this energy inside that I'm really grateful you let share today.

spk_0 And people get to know you a bit more deeply.

spk_0 We end every episode with a final five.

spk_0 These questions have to be answered in one word, one sentence maximum.

spk_0 So Kadi, these are your final five.

spk_0 You know what I talk a lot.

spk_0 You can.

spk_0 You did a good answer in one word.

spk_0 I'm giving you permission.

spk_0 You can.

spk_0

spk_0 All right.

spk_0 So question number one, we ask these to every guest who's been on the show.

spk_0 What is the best advice you've ever had or received?

spk_0 Well, I'm going to go with one advice that I heard today.

spk_0 No, I didn't heard today.

spk_0 I heard it yesterday.

spk_0 Ask the difficult questions.

spk_0 The difficult questions make the relationship stronger.

spk_0 It could break it.

spk_0 It could make it.

spk_0 But you still have all understanding.

spk_0 If you become that understanding, the gap might become stronger.

spk_0 You said about it.

spk_0 Whoever said it, you said about it.

spk_0 Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever had or received?

spk_0 I think you've had a lot.

spk_0 Sometimes when somebody told me to wear a certain outfit or when somebody told me to drop a certain song,

spk_0 do you never know?

spk_0 You could go from here to that.

spk_0 Question number three, finish the sentence.

spk_0 One thing I'll never apologize for is...

spk_0 May melt rain and may melt.

spk_0 Well, sometimes I'm apologize for my mouth.

spk_0 Sometimes I may maybe have my little twerk.

spk_0 I don't know.

spk_0 I apologize for my mouth sometimes, but not all the time.

spk_0 Question number four, what's something that you used to value that you don't value anymore?

spk_0 Have you ever had the streets?

spk_0 I value it a lot and I don't.

spk_0 I value it because it made me and it gave me a certain mentality.

spk_0 But I wouldn't want to advise that too.

spk_0 People that I love, people that I care, or to young kids, to young boys, to young girls.

spk_0 Because it don't always lead you to where you think it's going to lead you.

spk_0 It's very grimy.

spk_0 Don't love you back.

spk_0 Ever.

spk_0 And fifth and final question we ask is to every guest who's been on the show.

spk_0 If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

spk_0 If I was Kim Young-Neel.

spk_0 One law.

spk_0 I'm not sure.

spk_0 I got to come back to that.

spk_0 Yeah, think about it.

spk_0 Matter of fact, if you hurt children, you got to get...

spk_0 What's that thing when they clip you?

spk_0 Cash, cash, cash, cash, cash?

spk_0 Whatever it is called.

spk_0 Do you just got to be clipped?

spk_0 And if you're a woman, they need a burning.

spk_0 Oh, wow.

spk_0 If you hurt kids.

spk_0 Yeah, that should be a mandatory thing all over the world.

spk_0 Wow.

spk_0 Because kids are so precious.

spk_0 They're so precious.

spk_0 They're so innocent.

spk_0 Well, some of them are kind of evil.

spk_0 They won't be the devil inside.

spk_0 You see, documentary, some of them are saying,

spk_0 you was born today.

spk_0 You was born today, though.

spk_0 Jesus, Jesus upon your chair.

spk_0 Cardi B, everyone.

spk_0 The album is called Am I the Drama?

spk_0 I'm so excited for everyone to hear it.

spk_0 Love your energy, love your spirit.

spk_0 So grateful to have spent this time together.

spk_0 Thank you.

spk_0 And all the best God bless.

spk_0 And I hope that you continue to succeed and win at life

spk_0 and keep being the energy and force that you are.

spk_0 So thank you so much.

spk_0 Thank you.

spk_0 If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode

spk_0 with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic

spk_0 and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

spk_0 My fears are only going to continue to show me

spk_0 what I'm capable of.

spk_0 The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel

spk_0 I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom,

spk_0 and I just want to keep doing that.

spk_0 Have you overlooked a piece of abstract art or music

spk_0 or poetry and thought, that's just a bunch of pretentious nonsense?

spk_0 That's exactly what two bored Australian soldiers

spk_0 set out to prove during World War II when they tricked the literary world

spk_0 with their intentionally bad poetry,

spk_0 setting off a major scandal.

spk_0 We break down the truth, the lies and the poetry in between on hoax,

spk_0 a new podcast hosted by me, Lizzy Logan, and me, Danish Worts.

spk_0 Every episode, hoax explores an audacious fraud or ruse from history.

spk_0 Listen to hoax on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

spk_0 or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone,

spk_0 and there is help out there.

spk_0 The Good Stuff Podcast Season 2 takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation,

spk_0 a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community.

spk_0 September is National Suicide Prevention Month,

spk_0 so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you

spk_0 to the front lines of One Tribe's mission.

spk_0 One Tribe saved my life twice.

spk_0 Welcome to Season 2 of The Good Stuff.

spk_0 Listen to The Good Stuff Podcast on the I Heart Radio app,

spk_0 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 Hey, I'm Kirk Brown, owner.

spk_0 And I am Scotty Landis, and we host Bananas,

spk_0 the podcast where we share the weirdest, funniest, real news stories

spk_0 from all around the world.

spk_0 And sometimes from our guest personal lives, too.

spk_0 Like when Whitney Cummings recently revealed her origin story on the show.

spk_0 There's no way I don't already have rabies.

spk_0 This is probably just why my personality is like this.

spk_0 I've been surviving rabies for the past 20 years.

spk_0 New episodes of Bananas Drop every Tuesday.

spk_0 And exactly right now.

spk_0 Listen to Bananas on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

spk_0 or wherever you get your podcasts.

spk_0 This is an I Heart Podcast.

CARDI B: Overcoming Depression, Blocking Out the Hate & Owning Your Power

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