Questbridge Scholarships; Glimpse Videos; Does Your College Essay Need a Hook?

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 Welcome to Getting In, a college coach conversation.

spk_0 On this show, the team of experts from Bright Horizons College Coach aimed to demystify college

spk_0 admissions and finance from building a well-balanced college list and developing a payment

spk_0 strategy to creating a high school plan and more.

spk_0 Each episode will help guide your family through various steps of the process.

spk_0 Enjoy the show.

spk_0 Good afternoon everyone and welcome to this week's edition of Getting In, a college coach conversation.

spk_0 If you're watching this on Facebook or any of our social media, you can see that I've

spk_0 got some bags under my eyes.

spk_0 I'm feeling a little bit tired.

spk_0 We are almost to the November 1st deadline, and so it's late hours reading essays and

spk_0 getting thoughts back to students and helping them with their conundrums about whether

spk_0 to apply early decision and where and it's been a really fun 2025. I'm really excited to be on

spk_0 the other side of November 1st and we're looking forward to continuing great conversation for

spk_0 students of all ages as they think about the college admission and the scholarship process.

spk_0 Today we've got a really great show lined up for you. We're going to talk a little bit about

spk_0 essays in our final segment and the stereotypical hook and whether it's required for the college essay.

spk_0 We're going to explore a rather recent addition to the college application process which are

spk_0 glimpse videos essentially away for a student to show aside of themselves an admission

spk_0 officer might not see on paper. But before we do that we want to talk a little bit about

spk_0 scholarships and especially scholarships that are related to student identity. So joining us

spk_0 for this conversation is my friend over here in Portland, Alex Gonzalez. Alex, welcome back

spk_0 to the show. Oh thanks for having me. Yeah. This is this is a great topic. I think it's it's an area

spk_0 where there's a lot of opportunity out there for students. You have worked both in admissions

spk_0 and in finance. You work very closely with students who have been eligible for these kinds of

spk_0 of scholarships over the years. And so you know I think let's just start for those who might be

spk_0 unfamiliar with the existence of these scholarships. What are they? What are what are identity-based

spk_0 scholarships and and what are some of the ones that are perhaps most notable within the landscape

spk_0 of fire ed? Definitely. So so typically what I would categorize them as is their they're serving

spk_0 or targeting a population that has a sense of community or in the sense that they have

spk_0 there's a mission behind giving those scholarships. And so there's there's a little bit of a membership

spk_0 that needs to be identified in order as part of their eligibility requirements.

spk_0 Now who tends to be the the awarders awarders of these scholarships? Is it is it typically

spk_0 universities? Is it private organizations? Non-profit organizations? Who who tends to offer up

spk_0 this money? Yeah and that's a great question. I would say that there there is kind of that

spk_0 misnomer that thinking that like colleges are the ones who are offering these scholarships.

spk_0 That might have might have been where some of these recruitment-based scholarships came from

spk_0 or identity to kind of foster growth and diversity within a college aspect but that was about

spk_0 20 years ago. Now it's mainly community organizations or what we would call outside private

spk_0 based scholarships. So and it could range from a community organization like the Chamber of Commerce

spk_0 or a group of the Chamber of Commerce to a corporation that's kind of looking to serve

spk_0 underrepresented students that are in college or a particular area of study as well. So these

spk_0 are often organizations that have made a decision about wanting to support students that come from

spk_0 a particular background or fit certain kinds of criteria and so they typically have an application

spk_0 process that's involved where students will apply and ultimately some are chosen for these

spk_0 scholarships. Does the money typically go with the student wherever they would like to go to college

spk_0 or there are sometimes rules that are attached to these and I know we're talking very broadly

spk_0 here and there are different rules around different scholarships but what what tends to be the

spk_0 case here? Because they're kind of based in the community organizations are outside of the

spk_0 university system students typically have the ability to choose multiple different colleges. So

spk_0 that could be private universities, state universities in state out of state so there's a lot of choice.

spk_0 Now some school some scholarships might have some particular rules so for instance with the

spk_0 with our big brothers big sisters partnership in we there's a scholarship there the Fidelity

spk_0 Scholars Program. Now students from all over the country can apply if you're a member state but

spk_0 the student needs to choose or ultimately attend their home states college so that could be

spk_0 private but the idea there is for retention purposes that they're kind of building a community

spk_0 and some of the support retention programs are there but notably your gates millennium or now

spk_0 the new gate scholarship students can attend really anywhere. Fantastic. So good to look at the

spk_0 fine print as with any scholarship is there some sort of rule that's attached here but a lot of the

spk_0 ones that we're talking about you can really take that money anywhere that you go. Yeah so

spk_0 one of the things that comes up with these identity-based scholarships is that of course there are

spk_0 elements of the application where students have to talk about their identity where they need to share

spk_0 their identity and there sometimes comes a question from students about personal stories from

spk_0 their lives moments of vulnerability things that you know maybe students think they might have to

spk_0 share maybe they have different comfort levels in terms of sharing that kind of content how do

spk_0 how does students navigate that process of thinking about sharing personal or vulnerable aspects of

spk_0 their identity in these applications. Yeah and I that's a great question because it is something that

spk_0 students and educators, counselors that are supporting these students moving through this have

spk_0 those questions every year and and the landscape or the climate whether it's admission side or whether

spk_0 it's the scholarship side we we're always kind of hesitant of whether or not what do what do we

spk_0 share what is yeah to the next statement like what's the hook right but I always remind students is

spk_0 that these identity scholarships the reviewers are typically of that community so there's a lot of

spk_0 it applied knowledge shared experience that can happen that in these reviews that we're kind of

spk_0 looking for. I've set on identity-based scholarships and partner with with organizations to help guide

spk_0 their boards as well to like help work through the review process what are they looking for

spk_0 and I will say that oftentimes the biggest part is that students try to explain who they are rather

spk_0 than telling who they are so they'll give like a statistic or a stat or or tell you who the Native

spk_0 American community is or or or the African American community is in the context of society or

spk_0 or where they're from and forget to tell their story of how their community shapes them how they

spk_0 navigate through spaces of comfort and discomfort and what are they learning about themselves so I

spk_0 that is the biggest part of these identity scholarships you really get to to explore that as well.

spk_0 So it's a set it's really thinking about where the rubber hits the road in terms of how you

spk_0 experience your culture or your identity maybe sharing a story with your extended family around a

spk_0 tradition that you have or you know speaking to something that is really informed by that identity

spk_0 that is a part of your everyday life or was a part of a particularly meaningful moment in your life.

spk_0 Now how do you get students to think a little bit about and we do this on the admission side as well

spk_0 of course because identity is a big part of the college application and I think in these scholarship

spk_0 spaces it's a little bit different how do you think about students sharing this content in the

spk_0 context of empowerment and celebration versus sharing stories where things are particularly

spk_0 challenging or difficult or even traumatic where would you encourage students to kind of think about

spk_0 how to talk about their identity. Yeah and and and I've seen some really and read some really powerful

spk_0 essays about let's say tragedy a very like compromising place that the student has been in but

spk_0 what stands out I think in the review process is when a student addresses that and then reflects on

spk_0 the situation. So I had a colleague in a meeting talk a little bit about like these are scholarships

spk_0 so we want to see success we're not rewarding students for the circumstances that they find

spk_0 themselves in. Yes what we're looking for is that resilience that grit that self-awareness I think

spk_0 those are the the stories that really shine so that could be maybe it's something that and maybe

spk_0 if it's too fresh of an experience and you haven't processed that and maybe you don't share it

spk_0 maybe share something that's similar but that could but you've grown from it and you have you have

spk_0 some ways of maybe addressing that a dealing a coping or seeing that kind of empowerment in yourself

spk_0 maybe you don't have to be you know doesn't have to be you know roses and gum drops or anything

spk_0 like that but that you have a little bit of time from it. Yeah it could be very helpful.

spk_0 I like I like that I think giving yourself that space and time to process even processing things

spk_0 that you're really proud of you know having some distance gives you the maturity of reflection

spk_0 and an opportunity to think about it within the larger context of your experience. Now these

spk_0 scholarships they're not just about identity they typically also include academic components

spk_0 there are other elements of the application as well as students are looking at these kinds of

spk_0 scholarship programs are there additional suggestions that you have for how students should engage

spk_0 with them maybe how they should search for them just just thoughts that you have for somebody who

spk_0 comes to you and says I'm looking for I'm looking for additional dollars for education which people

spk_0 come to you every single day and ask you that question but how you might direct them for this

spk_0 this category of scholarship work. Yeah definitely a lot of the scholarship searches will include some

spk_0 of the national scholarships so fastwebscholarships.com going Mary scholars for dollars there are

spk_0 United Negro Fund as well has lists of scholarships that you can take advantage of our blogs

spk_0 we share on great resources as well of different identity groups but then also think local so we

spk_0 live in Portland the Asian reporter has a list of like comes out with an article of a list of

spk_0 scholarships for Asian Pacific Islander students in our area that are both local and national

spk_0 so think about those like periodicals those those other resources community-based organizations

spk_0 that are targeting your high school or your your district as well. This is fantastic and you mentioned

spk_0 also the scholars that we support with big brothers and big sisters I think one of the things

spk_0 that I don't know if our listeners are familiar with you're obviously one of our education finance

spk_0 experts you also help to lead this program where we working we're working with students at

spk_0 in New Jersey I don't know if you want to take a moment to talk a little bit about about the work

spk_0 that we're doing with our BH scholars and yeah it's a wonderful organization so it's our

spk_0 kind of philanthropical arm of of college coach BH scholars we partner with big brothers big

spk_0 sisters in Essex Hudson and Union County they've been our partner for six years six years already

spk_0 last year so wow we support on average about 12 students a year we we have students that have

spk_0 graduated that are going on to their master's programs sharing their programs very very like

spk_0 holistic approach from the admissions and finance side but also they built and and their bright

spk_0 futures program which supports alums this next week they're hosting a college tour and their

spk_0 their students on campus are going to be guiding that tour for our for our scholars as well so

spk_0 that's great it's very excited about a program we we're doing some great work it's great and we

spk_0 have for the students we support they work with a team of one admissions expert and one finance

spk_0 expert and we help them with everything we can on the college process college list essay writing

spk_0 thinking about how to put the application together it's been a great it's been a really great program

spk_0 I can't believe it's been six years already I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by that but

spk_0 it's really awesome and it's something Alex you've been leading it since the beginning I think right

spk_0 yeah yeah since the the inception we've been trying to do this for a long time informally and

spk_0 and so all the pieces came together and now we have a formal program so it's wonderful it's great

spk_0 it's great and so through that program folks get all kinds of the advice that that you've given

spk_0 here on the show around how to look at different identity-based scholarships they get college admissions

spk_0 advice from our admissions experts and provide really great and robust support are there any

spk_0 kind of final tips that you want to share out with our listeners related to these kinds of

spk_0 scholarships anything anything else that is helpful for them to be aware of yeah I think I think

spk_0 that these scholarships are are great opportunities whether they're big or small the network that you

spk_0 that students want if you find yourself receiving these scholarships can really be really most

spk_0 award but reward yes it's the mentorship the the the connection with with folks whether they're

spk_0 adjacent to your your community or your area but like they're there and creating and fundraising

spk_0 behind the scenes they're and their advocates beyond the scholarship as well so that's a great

spk_0 reminder because I think you started this segment by talking about community and and you're

spk_0 absolutely right like these are spaces where you you feel connected in a different way so the

spk_0 scholarship award is fantastic but having that essentially lifelong belonging to that scholarship

spk_0 program I think is really special so great thing to highlight their Alex thank you for coming

spk_0 on the show talking through this I really appreciate you taking the time and good luck with the

spk_0 the BH Scholars this year as they they submit their applications yeah thank you of course when we

spk_0 come back we will we're just going to stay in Portland we've got another guest who lives here in

spk_0 Portland and we're going to talk a little bit about those admissions videos so don't go in

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spk_0 gettingin.voicemurica at gmail.com now back to the show

spk_0 all right everyone welcome back to getting in a college coach conversation our last segment was

spk_0 between two Portland experts and now we've got two alumni of south Portland liberal arts colleges

spk_0 on the show Sarah Calvert Coobrum welcome back we're excited to talk a little bit about video

spk_0 presence in the application process and it's great to you and we're on video here so

spk_0 folks want to check us out on on facebook and check out this segment we can see whether we are

spk_0 following along with the tips that you ultimately share about video presence. I did think about that

spk_0 as we we logged in today. Let's make sure things that you know the background is

spk_0 inoffensive and neutral and yeah I didn't think about it but I think I'm okay you can

spk_0 all right fantastic that's great so so I think that this is this is one of those things that's

spk_0 actually fairly new not a lot happens in the college application process that is really new and

spk_0 different all that often you know there's the historical trends around the common app and essays

spk_0 and you're turning in your grades and you've got letters of recommendation but I think a partial

spk_0 product of the pandemic but also just a move towards embracing technology and giving students an

spk_0 opportunity to present themselves in different formats videos have started to pop up as being a part

spk_0 of an application review and so for listeners who are new to this and I will confess I actually have

spk_0 not yet worked with a student who has done a video for a school that has asked for one.

spk_0 How how are schools using this what is the format what's the kind of idea behind these

spk_0 glimpses into a student's life? Well let's first start with what they are. There are some colleges

spk_0 not most but you know if you doesn't at least that have usually often they are optional videos that

spk_0 students can record and submit after they have submitted their application so usually you submit your

spk_0 application you then get an email from the college saying got your application create a portal here

spk_0 your next steps and then you might be able to access recording a video. Now they're short they're

spk_0 different for each college some colleges have a short prompt that you're responding to others are

spk_0 intentionally quite open-ended inviting you to introduce yourself they're often you know two

spk_0 minutes they're they're fast. Now some colleges you're doing this in a platform run by the

spk_0 college's own portal and technology others use third-party products there's one that's really

spk_0 common called glimpses you might hear these referred to as video essays spotlights there are a lot

spk_0 of different terms thrown out there I will say one caveat that although I said they're often

spk_0 optional increasingly a lot of colleges are making these required for international applicants

spk_0 as a layer of checking for English language proficiency in the process so there are nuances that

spk_0 can be different for different different audiences different applicants but they're short they're sweet

spk_0 they're often optional and I have worked with several students who have used these as part of their

spk_0 applications to colleges they've been admitted to so it's given me some confidence in an area that

spk_0 is an admissions officer I never dealt with because it is new right so that's great that's great

spk_0 so you and I both we're doing a kind of a social media countdown to November 1st and bear with me

spk_0 this is gonna meet me and or a little bit but it's gonna make sense and so we were asked to talk

spk_0 for no more than 90 seconds on a video about one topic related to college admission and I remember

spk_0 Sarah as I was recording mine I think my second best take was my first take my best take was my

spk_0 57th take and then the 55 in the middle were just like all over the I was just a mess and and so it

spk_0 was supposed to be 90 seconds I had a rough idea of what I wanted to talk about but it's a lot

spk_0 it's a lot of pressure it's like if you just turn this thing on and you go you know you're not

spk_0 necessarily gonna put your best foot forward how do you encourage students to think about going in

spk_0 and having a plan what are some things that they should do in advance to think about the content

spk_0 that they want to share so that they don't do what I did and waste hours of time recording content

spk_0 that is not especially help luck yeah well here's the deal this is human so everyone's gonna prepare

spk_0 in their own way right I'm aware that for myself I do best with brainstorming and notes and then

spk_0 going with it whereas I've helped my husband with some things like this in life and he needs to

spk_0 practice it full from top you know top to bottom so I think first the student needs to think about

spk_0 who are they what is their style what are their needs I generally find it's helpful I did this with

spk_0 that you know Instagram video to start with just brainstorming so a list of people it's what do I

spk_0 want to say what are my priorities now if anyone looks at my video I was second and they didn't tell

spk_0 us it was 90 seconds till I'd already done mine the mine's over two minutes but that's okay um what

spk_0 I'll say though is first let's think about the the purpose now the purpose of these videos is to

spk_0 bring the application to life a little bit so ideally you're gonna think of an approach in a

spk_0 authentic low-stress way that just lets you pop out of the computer screen literally as a person

spk_0 for the college to picture joining their community now I often get students to think well what

spk_0 is something about my personality or maybe my lived experiences that isn't overt in my application

spk_0 so use this as a space to share something different something new um so first think about what you

spk_0 want to share the second then is prepare your your space so before you even get to thinking about

spk_0 what am I gonna say and get it all done let's say you're in a room in your house it should be quiet

spk_0 it should be clean it should be tidy we should test our sound we should test our video we should

spk_0 test our light you know I have one of those ring lights in front of me right now um you know think

spk_0 about those things you don't need to go spending a whole lot of money most teenagers have a lot of

spk_0 these things right now um and with that reference to money I'll say colleges I think are also thinking

spk_0 that this is a lot more accessible than saying come visit our college go in person to an interview

spk_0 and pretty much all people that I know regardless of socioeconomics have a phone right they can record

spk_0 these things so think about the background think about how you're gonna dress you don't need to be

spk_0 formal you know I told one of my students you don't need to wear a suit this is an opportunity

spk_0 to be clean and tidy but authentic right um you're you're applying to be a college student not to go

spk_0 and you know be someone on Wall Street or you know really fancy so think about the the setting and

spk_0 the purpose um I will be honest I find that my students get pretty freaked out by these videos

spk_0 they put a lot of like and I spent a lot of time in the past really talking students down and I

spk_0 start with brainstorming with them and saying okay let's think about the parts of who you are

spk_0 the art front and center in your application for one of my students who actually did one of these

spk_0 videos a couple years ago for the University of Chicago which is one of the schools that offers these

spk_0 he loves running and running is therapeutic it's a stress management tool it gets him into nature

spk_0 he went a little unconventional but you know what I loved it he literally ran into his favorite

spk_0 place up this hill and he shot a video a little sweaty but showed the nature around time of where he

spk_0 went and this was like glimpse in his his world who he is right I worked with a different student who

spk_0 used a video and got into brown and is there last year who was also freaked out but she wanted a more

spk_0 mellow contained she was in a dining room in her house but she kicked everyone out she got

spk_0 everyone out of the house um I asked questions like no dogs you know let's think about these saying

spk_0 some people could introduce a dog that could be offensive but you know we thought it through she

spk_0 dressed kind of business casual because that suited her she's a little bit more formal as a person

spk_0 and she decided to talk a little bit more about her love of food and going and exploring cultures

spk_0 through restaurants and how that's something that she is excited to do wherever she goes in life

spk_0 and these are just a couple examples but my point is the purpose is human it's connective it's

spk_0 picturing energy and personality and there really isn't a right or wrong way to approach it as

spk_0 long as it's clear simple easy to digest the hardest one for me in and this probably won't surprise you

spk_0 is I have to remember when I talk on video to slow down and I think that it's human to in you know

spk_0 90 to 120 seconds to want to cram everything in but this is an opportunity where quite often

spk_0 less is more so thinking of a clear message slowing it way down making sure that listener can hear

spk_0 and understand you right yeah um I think all of these things can make a huge huge difference

spk_0 is that and it's it is and I think it's it's kind of about a feeling even more than the exact

spk_0 things that you say right and I love the example of your student who is a runner I think it would have

spk_0 been a mistake for him to talk well on a run you can imagine that jostling and bouncing but it's

spk_0 like I told him don't do that don't do that right but get to a space where yeah you can be on a run

spk_0 if you feel comfortable in that space then that's a space where you are most like yourself

spk_0 and that's kind of the goal is to share yourself with with these viewers I'm curious what you

spk_0 think about scripting I think that you know students can be in a position where they might feel like

spk_0 okay I've outlined the bullets that I want to talk about maybe I've practiced it but I feel like

spk_0 I got to say this thing just right and if I write out a script then that's going to help me to say

spk_0 the things that I know I want to say how do you feel about that in terms of general guidance and

spk_0 and then what are kind of the things to avoid that a script might be due towards I'm actually

spk_0 glad that you asked this and I have a personal example of some risks with this I think on one hand

spk_0 a script can be a source of comfort right because you have this guidance this support on the flip side

spk_0 that I'll give you a real example I'm the volunteer coordinator for my son's elementary school and

spk_0 I'm bilingual I speak Spanish and we did a new initiative this summer where we made short

spk_0 videos one in English one in Spanish inviting people of all backgrounds to get involved in the

spk_0 school it was really effective it was great but guess what I used a script and I am obviously

spk_0 looking at it because so much was written for me by a fellow parent it was impossible for me to

spk_0 memorize and I recently watched that versus what I did for our social media campaign at work and

spk_0 much prefer what I did for work where I just brainstormed I wrote a list of bulleted terms I

spk_0 wanted to make sure I said and what I'm doing right now is what I did for our work one where I have

spk_0 a split screen set up right in front of my face where I had a bulleted list of key words I wanted to

spk_0 make sure I said so I have right now I'm looking at you and I have words like authentic optional

spk_0 concise you know some of the key things I wanted to make sure I said and I think it flows a lot

spk_0 or naturally and conversationally I think that if someone needs to have a script you know what

spk_0 that's probably not going to be the end of the world but it often doesn't feel as connective on a

spk_0 human level it often feels like you're reading and I think that for the purpose of these where

spk_0 authenticity frankly is the goal a more conversational approach while being concise which is tricky

spk_0 usually is going to be more inviting more warm I think that's right and I you know for me

spk_0 I did speech debate when I was in high school and in prom 2 it was one of the events that I did

spk_0 a little bit but what I loved I had a friend who was great at this and it's something that I've

spk_0 taken away his advice here which is to kind of think in your mind what are your three spots you

spk_0 want to get to your your bullet points the things that you have to say and then how you move between

spk_0 those points is a little bit more flexible so you can think about I want to share that I love running

spk_0 I love talking I want to share that I I enjoy the outdoors and I want to talk about how this helps

spk_0 me to reset my mind when I'm having a stressful week so what else whatever else I say in between

spk_0 that doesn't have to be word for word exactly what I might envision as long as I get to those main

spk_0 pillars of what I'm hoping to talk about that'll put me in a great position now I want to transition

spk_0 ever so gently here into the virtual interview and we've talked about interviews on this show

spk_0 before virtual interviews are a little bit different in that they are more accessible

spk_0 I think people now are pretty comfortable with zoom or on zoom now I think students have done a lot

spk_0 of zoom in fact people are probably past comfort and into annoyance with zoom in some ways

spk_0 how should students think about a zoom interview being different from sitting down at a coffee shop

spk_0 or going into an office and having a face-to-face interview what are some things that they should be

spk_0 mindful of there you know honestly with that question I think it's a lot of the same things that

spk_0 I said with these videos right so in an in-person you know of course you're going into an unknown

spk_0 situation you're checking out a new space you in some ways have a lot more control with a virtual

spk_0 interview but you do the same preparation of check your sound check your lighting make sure you're

spk_0 free of distractions making sure that you feel comfortably and appropriately dressed one thing

spk_0 that students have shared with me is that sometimes they forget to make sure that they're comfortable

spk_0 like is are they sitting in a chair that feels good do they want to sit to do they want to stand

spk_0 do you know what I mean about you know what feels good in their body it can actually be really

spk_0 helpful um thinking to prepare your family that you're doing this so your little brother doesn't

spk_0 walk in you know like really thinking about these uncontrollable factors and knowing that the interviewer

spk_0 is human they've probably had their own experiences of working remotely they're probably

spk_0 understand if you're doorbell ring so I think accepting that there's going to be imperfect human

spk_0 things it could pop up and that's that's part of this process and we have to roll with it with

spk_0 these virtual settings but I think a lot of my advice is the same if that makes any sense

spk_0 no it makes sense I think one of the things that's a little bit different about the virtual space is

spk_0 you pointed out you've got two screens you've got these great things that you can lean on

spk_0 which is awesome they can also be distractions yeah so you know a lot of students have max and when

spk_0 they get a text message and I message from a friend it pops up on the screen and I have noticed

spk_0 in meeting with students when they'll look down at the bottom of their screen and back at me because

spk_0 they got a message and I can hear the ding or I can hear the buzz of their phone on the table next

spk_0 of them so if you're going into an interview I think turning on do not disturb getting your stuff

spk_0 out of your space out of your your field of vision is huge the other thing that I do Sarah is when

spk_0 I'm talking I'm actually not looking at you right now I look I look at the pinhole camera that's

spk_0 right there at the top of my screen now when I'm listening then I'm looking at you I also find

spk_0 sometimes you get you can be distracted by your own self presentation and so there's always an

spk_0 option to turn off the self view and so once you check your lighting and you check whether you're

spk_0 centered and you check to make sure the space behind you looks clean you can turn that off and

spk_0 just trust that you're not going to have some horrible things show up on your face and I think

spk_0 it actually makes the conversation a little bit more engaging if you can't see yourself in a lot of

spk_0 cases yeah I think so and you know a pet peeve of mine just occurred that I don't know how I

spk_0 haven't said this out loud but from my own meeting with students and from things I've heard from

spk_0 friends who are still college admissions officers I really don't recommend ever sitting on your bed

spk_0 or with a you know yes bed in the background like just like being you know be at a table be at a

spk_0 desk be on your couch like be in a place that that feels comfortable and appropriate I think is

spk_0 really important that's right and the last thing that I'll say and this this feels like it goes

spk_0 without saying but some students do this is make sure your whole face is on the screen you have

spk_0 these students that like you can only see from their their nose up or you know the top of their head

spk_0 frame yourself center yourself center yourself physically and visually and mentally all of those

spk_0 things I agree with all of that have some water handy too that can be a really good one it's good

spk_0 and it helps you if you have to think about an answer to a question to take a quick sip of water

spk_0 and and let there be a natural pause there don't be afraid of silence um all right we've given so

spk_0 many tips here uh I I feel like folks should should feel good about this and I'm kind of excited

spk_0 about what I've seen and heard about videos in the application process so it'll be interesting

spk_0 to see how it continues to grow over the next five ten years um thanks though thanks for coming

spk_0 on the show Sarah it's always at the light to have you yeah thanks for having me in okay when we come

spk_0 back I am going to try not to lose my mind over whether you should put a hook in your college essay

spk_0 I'm gonna try really hard um but yeah stick around see what happens we'll do it like that

spk_0 for 25 years families have trusted bright horizons college coach to guide them through the

spk_0 college admissions process with nearly all of our students getting into one of their top choice

spk_0 schools it's no wonder why our experience is unmatched as former admissions officers at top

spk_0 colleges and universities we've read the essays reviewed the applications and made the admissions

spk_0 decisions we know firsthand what colleges are looking for ready to meet our team visit get

spk_0 into college dot com slash experts to learn more voice america is on LinkedIn connect with us today

spk_0 you are listening to getting in a college coach conversation to submit a question for an

spk_0 upcoming listener Q&A segment or to suggest an idea for a future segment please send an email to

spk_0 getting in dot voice america at gmail dot com now back to the show all right everyone welcome

spk_0 back to getting in a college coach conversation we're gonna talk a little bit about essay is now and

spk_0 I said in the last segment i'm gonna try not to lose my mind and i'm really not i can i can totally

spk_0 keep it together um and if if i feel like i'm about to then we'll have Shayla here this is Shayla

spk_0 b'sak martina as she's our guest today she's an educator with college coach formerly of harry mud and

spk_0 she has promised she's gonna real me in if i start to go crazy as we talk about this concept

spk_0 when Shayla thanks for coming back on the show it's great to have you for your second appearance

spk_0 yeah thanks for having me and i'll try to reel you in but maybe i will also just keep piling on

spk_0 maybe we'll just yeah maybe we'll just riff a little bit um i i'm just gonna start by saying

spk_0 that my most common note for student essays is that their entire first paragraph

spk_0 can and should be deleted from her essay and the reason for that is because it's usually a

spk_0 hook of a first paragraph and i was hoping that you could just tell us a little bit about what

spk_0 tells you as a reader when you're reading a hook that has been written for the express content

spk_0 or express intent of trying to get you drawn in for the essay yeah i think exactly as you are saying

spk_0 after i read an essay all the way through or even if i get to the second or third paragraph and i

spk_0 realize huh the first paragraph or the first two sentences don't actually connect to what the

spk_0 student is trying to say or just take up space in a way that tries to set the scene or kind of

spk_0 tries to put all of the entire essay into a nutshell and then go into the main story um i also

spk_0 would say yeah a lot of the time i'll go back and say you can delete this this actually is irrelevant

spk_0 or doesn't contribute to your story let's just start here instead and i'll note where they can

spk_0 just jump right in so that's definitely something i notice as well i think students think that they

spk_0 need a hook and usually they don't need it or it's not executed in a way that actually contributes

spk_0 to the story so um you can try with a hook i will say as a writer or remember when i was younger and

spk_0 would have to write essays i i would start with something similar but i think i also learned over time

spk_0 that the first thing i wrote probably wasn't the best part of what i was producing so i could go back

spk_0 and edit or so i had some help going back and editing those things and just kind of learned to

spk_0 to see that over time and and now i use that skill um here to kind of track what students need or

spk_0 don't need as they're writing their essays yeah the silver lining i think when i when i do encourage

spk_0 students to delete that first paragraph is that usually the first sentence of their second paragraph

spk_0 is a phenomenal first sentence for a college essay yeah and the reason it's so good is because the

spk_0 student almost knows subconsciously like my first paragraph didn't make a lot of sense to my story

spk_0 so my first sentence of my second paragraph has to say what i'm talking about here and when they do

spk_0 that it's like just start with that just tell me exactly where you are now as you were as you were

spk_0 talking i wanted to actually ask you a question um when you were reading applications at Harvey

spk_0 mud or wpi whenever you're reading did you ever did you ever read a first paragraph and say i'm not

spk_0 interested and stop reading the essay altogether move on no no no no definitely not you have to

spk_0 read the whole essay right so this idea of a hook that grabs the reader's attention so they don't

spk_0 put down the essay doesn't make any sense because we're going to read the whole thing no matter what

spk_0 now where are students getting this idea where do people talk about this i hear students all the time

spk_0 talk about my hook where's it coming from help me understand i mean i think it's not necessarily

spk_0 anything new like i said i remember kind of writing my own essays 10 years ago and maybe you

spk_0 wrote some even before i did and maybe you're fed fed fed those kind of same initial like you need to

spk_0 do this or you need a hook or you need to share some big dramatic story um i think now some of

spk_0 those ideas are kind of being shared on social media so it's just a new way of kind of getting

spk_0 this information out um so of course i've i've seen some tiktoks or some instagram reels or even

spk_0 full youtube videos about you know people usually young people explaining how they wrote the perfect

spk_0 essay or how other people who are only a year younger than them can write a perfect essay to get

spk_0 into all of these colleges so social media it's not new but it is a new version of what has been

spk_0 happening i think for a long time and who's usually on social media talking about the college essay

spk_0 at least from the research that you've done across tiktok yeah i i've done some very brief research

spk_0 which i think is is a pretty typical when you're looking at tiktok and then you say you know what i

spk_0 did some research i actually watched two videos um but one of the videos um that i found had 88

spk_0 thousand views and so many saves 13,000 saves and it was a person i don't think she was older than

spk_0 you know 22 maybe maybe only 19 um but speaking about these are the things that will get you rejected

spk_0 from college if you write about them in your essay and other videos are by college coaches not

spk_0 necessarily us of course college coach broadly or folks who are counselors um who are older

spk_0 which are also kind of funny to see on tiktok no shade i don't have tiktok either do i

spk_0 um yeah but but you know people people on tiktok are content creators so they are trying to get clicks

spk_0 and they are trying to have their information shared um and because of that i would always say

spk_0 if you see something online or on tiktok or on instagram uh just take it with a grain of salts

spk_0 because again these people are are well meaning they are trying to help they are trying to share

spk_0 information but the way that they share it or the specific information that they share

spk_0 might not always be totally true um and i think sometimes it discourages students from sharing

spk_0 their true story because they see a video of someone saying hey if you write this you're going to

spk_0 get rejected from college well number one i would never reject someone solely based on their essay

spk_0 that's right we we review holistically um and that's just not okay kind of in the same way

spk_0 Ian that you were saying you would never read the first sentence and say uh i'm actually bored

spk_0 by this i'm not going to read it at all um there's a lot of components or a lot of things that go into

spk_0 evaluating uh college applications so you are not going to be rejected if you write about the thing

spk_0 that you truly want to write about and share your authentic voice um so that's that's a little bit of

spk_0 my griff with that they they bum me out that's why that's why i only watch two videos in my research

spk_0 there's a bunch of them wronged out well in the ironic thing about tiktok is that you really do have to

spk_0 hook your viewer because you can just swipe past it and so like you have to say something in the first

spk_0 i don't know two three seconds so that somebody will watch your entire video and hopefully subscribe

spk_0 to your channel right to your feed and so there is pressure in that context to get people hooked

spk_0 early on and to see things that are wild and in in inflammatory or attractive or just that

spk_0 people excited and fundamentally what we try and do is get all that stuff out of the way and just

spk_0 get down to who you are as a student i think one thing you said uh just a moment ago that's really

spk_0 instructive is understanding how the essay fits into a complete package of a college application

spk_0 and when i was writing essays over 20 years ago whoa i'm a little bit older than you

spk_0 um i had a book of successful college essays i don't have tiktok and i'm instagram but i had a book

spk_0 that said these students got into highly selective colleges and these were their essays and so i

spk_0 read this book and thought oh my gosh these essays must be the key to understanding this process

spk_0 but what the book didn't say was how strong are these students grades how good are their test scores

spk_0 what are their letters of recommendation say what kind of involvement do they have

spk_0 and most importantly what it didn't say was did the admission officer even like their essay

spk_0 because there are lots of circumstances where you admit a student and their essay is fine

spk_0 or not especially good but like the rest of their file really is awesome and so you can have a

spk_0 mediocre essay with a phenomenal application that surrounds it and still get in to really really

spk_0 good colleges and that was something i didn't understand and so i was like oh well the essay is the

spk_0 key and this is the roadmap and i think knowing that context is so so important for families to take

spk_0 away yeah definitely and i think i sometimes when families are asking like how do we go about this

spk_0 process or what's going to take the most time the essay does take a lot of time because it is where

spk_0 the student is putting their brain power into completing this application it's the place where

spk_0 we get to hear the student's voice from their perspective and it's the first time that that

spk_0 happens the other time that happens is in those supplemental essays which are also important

spk_0 and are also a way where you can share your you know true authentic voice but also your true

spk_0 interest and true stories that have happened to you or true experiences or true moments of growth

spk_0 that don't need a hook they just need your authenticity in them i would say

spk_0 yeah now let's let's talk a little bit about metaphors okay that's how you put it on your

spk_0 look i love i love a metaphor i love an analogy i am all about them i think that they're fantastic

spk_0 however any ideas about how a student should think about metaphors in their essays and whether

spk_0 it's a good idea i don't know i was i'm like leading the witness here um yeah i mean tell me

spk_0 a little bit about metaphors and essays well you're like what do you think i don't love them um i think

spk_0 it's very similar to a hook because all oftentimes you're going to see the metaphor be presented

spk_0 as a hook or be presented in that first paragraph and there have been essays that i've read where

spk_0 after i've read the full thing through i realized that the met the metaphor actually isn't needed

spk_0 at all and does not contribute to uh i guess like the meat of the story i think typically it's more

spk_0 fluff so it's a way to add more words or to add some descriptive language but sometimes that

spk_0 kind of description descriptive language takes away from you talking about yourself and that's

spk_0 essentially what we want in the essays is for you to share about yourself and not to share about

spk_0 you know how uh you're in ocean breeze floating on the here i don't know um no shade to anyone who's

spk_0 in like that but maybe go back and check and see if you can remove those things um it takes a very

spk_0 strong writer to be able to pull that off incredibly strong incredibly strong and you know i think

spk_0 i think the biggest problem with writing a metaphor essay is that when the reader gets to the end

spk_0 of your essay they think of it in as being about the metaphor as opposed to being about the takeaway

spk_0 yep so like when my colleague says well what was that students essay about now i'd be like well

spk_0 it was a metaphor about the ocean breeze it's like well what was it really about what what are we

spk_0 learning about the student and so yep what happens with metaphor essays or essays that are gimmicky

spk_0 is that the summary the takeaway for the admission officer is the gimmick you used or the metaphor

spk_0 you leaned on and not what you're trying to say about yourself and so it pulls the attention away

spk_0 from your core identity not just by devoting too many words to something that isn't relevant

spk_0 but by defining your essay in this way and so i've asked students point blank like do you want your

spk_0 essay to be the ocean breeze essay or do you want to talk about how much you love surfing and what

spk_0 that that means to you let's let's focus on the surfing piece and and how that helps to center your

spk_0 mind and let's get this metaphor kind of out of the way for sure any other like common mistakes

spk_0 that you're seeing from and i will say this students just making their best guess at what will

spk_0 make a great essay and this always comes from a place of students being like i have to do this

spk_0 because this is going to make this essay great and i need to stand out yes they're not wrong for

spk_0 for believing that or wanting to do it it's just that they need a little guidance to simplify

spk_0 is there anything else you see yeah i mean it sounds cliche and i know sometimes i'll say this

spk_0 directly to students like it sounds cliche for me to tell you the person that you are or who you are

spk_0 is unique and if you just share that you don't have to worry about standing out because you are

spk_0 an individual and like yeah maybe you've done similar things to other applications or other

spk_0 applicants that we're going to see but you're the only one who's experienced it through your

spk_0 perspective and could write about it in that way so um again i'm always going to come back to like

spk_0 authenticity being genuine and letting your voice come through in that way i'm big on voice that's

spk_0 everything i would look for in an essay um can i see this student on campus can i see how they're

spk_0 going to interact with people based on what they're telling me in their essay and that doesn't involve

spk_0 metaphors usually or uh hooks or gimmicks it's just you know be yourself um and tell us tell us

spk_0 who you are i often will give feedback that says you are the main character in this story yes and

spk_0 i need to understand who that character is and if the story is being told without that character

spk_0 i walk away without out knowing you better yeah share this is great i don't think i totally lost my

spk_0 mind i felt my voice elevate a little bit there a couple of times but i appreciate you keeping it

spk_0 steady no this is good thanks for having me we will be back again next week we're going to do our

spk_0 sequel to college admissions in the media so talking a little bit about how this shows up in movies

spk_0 and television it's going to be a lot of fun so you'll want to come back it's a nice post

spk_0 November 1 episode for you and then we will of course talk about education finance talk about

spk_0 putting merit on your college list and thinking about the balance that you need in order to get

spk_0 a little bit of extra money from those schools that are really happy to incent your decision to

spk_0 attend until then i hope everyone has submitted all of their applications for early action early

spk_0 decision and that you've had a lovely Halloween without thinking about the scariest thing of all

spk_0 which is a terrible hook in the start of a college essay i just scared that just scares me i hope

spk_0 y'all are well we'll look forward to seeing you back here again next week bye bye

spk_0 thank you for tuning in to getting in a college coach conversation new episodes drop every Thursday

spk_0 the goal of this show is to de-mystify the college admissions process for families around the globe

spk_0 to help with this mission please leave a review and share with your friends and to learn more

spk_0 about bright horizons college coach visit get into college dot com

Questbridge Scholarships; Glimpse Videos; Does Your College Essay Need a Hook?

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