Education
PROJECTILE VOMIT REVENGE!???
In this episode of Ridigilus Reddit Stories, we dive into amusing tales of revenge from the r/PettyRevenge subreddit. From a school performance mishap to a tyrannical office manager getting her comeup...
PROJECTILE VOMIT REVENGE!???
Education •
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Interactive Transcript
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Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Ridigilus Reddit Stories.
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So today I've just pulled off some stories from our slash Penny Revenge.
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I thought these were pretty amusing personally so I wanted to share with you guys.
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Alright, this first one is called How I Made My Ex Friend Feel Like an Idiot and this
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was posted by Beautifully Cold.
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Alright, ever since pretty cool I was friends with this girl.
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Let's call her Nina.
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We used to sit together in class and we were known to be very serious, very quiet and
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had the best grades.
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This lasted until we were 10 or 11.
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We came to school after summer and I realized the whole class dynamic changed.
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There were suddenly clicks and a lot of gossiping.
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I wasn't into that so I didn't really engage but Nina did.
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After a while she was a part of one very annoying group.
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We fell apart and she became friends with my bullies.
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Now to the story.
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The school I attended used to do a show of repair and surveyed a couple of years.
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Every class was supposed to think of something and perform it on stage.
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It was mandatory and everyone had to participate.
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Every year some performances were good and some were terrible.
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My class was full of hormonal 12 year olds so naturally everyone thought the whole thing
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was stupid and we didn't want to do anything.
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Our teacher eventually got upset with us and planned our performance.
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We were to sit on that stage, pass the microphone around and tell jokes about computers.
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We had some weird IT class that year.
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Everyone thought it was idiotic but she said we had enough time to think of something
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already and so we had to do it.
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Well, a few weeks before the show Nina brought a script of a sketch written by her grandma.
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It was hilarious.
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Suddenly everyone was on board and wanted to perform.
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Our teacher agreed but because the sketch was only for four people we were still doing the jokes thing.
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Nina was chosen as one of the four along with my friend Alice.
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Then our teacher picked four understudies.
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I agreed to be Alice's.
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The day of the performance came and I was hanging out with Alex backstage.
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The sketch was at the beginning of the program.
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Alice was in her costume and we were practicing lines.
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When the show started we realized that Nina wasn't there.
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When she finally came in she started yelling at me.
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Why are you not in costume?
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I was very confused so I replied by would I?
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Nina said in case I didn't come in time.
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I just stayed at her and then it clicked.
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She thought I was her understudy.
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I was still resentful about her choice of friends so I decided to have some fun with her.
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Nina asks do you remember your lines?
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I said no.
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She says what?
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What if I don't come?
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What would you do then?
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I said I don't know.
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Laugh.
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She started scowling and started yelling again.
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Why did you want to perform if you didn't plan to learn those lines?
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Where are you so irresponsible?
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At this point Alice decided to join our conversation and spoil my fun.
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Alice, you know she was supposed to learn my lines not yours.
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She's my understudy.
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Nina stared blankly at us.
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Who's mine then?
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I said we have no idea.
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Nina scoffed.
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She was clearly frustrated but stormed off without another word.
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Me and Alice had a good laugh about it.
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Later we found out Nina never talked with her understudy.
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The girl thought Nina wanted me as her understudy and so she didn't prepare at all.
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That would have been a disaster but probably not as big as the unfunny joke thing.
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And she dared to call me irresponsible.
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I didn't learn my lines either but that's not the point.
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Anyways, I thought this story was pretty cute so I wanted to share.
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Okay, our next story is called Want to be the Office Tyrant and Joy getting fired in disgrace.
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This is posted by Frank North 2010.
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For some reason the moderators of pro-revenge didn't think this was pro enough so I'm
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putting it here.
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Back in the late 1990s I worked for a company that built and sold computers in bulk for
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large businesses.
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It was originally a Chinese firm with its American expansion headquarters base in Milpedes,
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California.
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Name of the company runs with Dupurcom.
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They had satellite offices all around the US.
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I was the lead technician and computer builder at one of the locations in South Texas.
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It was a relatively small business about 20 or so people with sales offices in the front
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and a huge warehouse sold with computer parts in the back.
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We had a total Karen of an office manager named Susanna who was the definition of a petty
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tyrant.
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She attended to rule that office with an iron fist and was a total b word to everyone.
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She had the emotional maturity of a jealous self-centered middle schooler and it showed.
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She tried to constantly exert power over everyone and everyone in the office absolutely hated
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her.
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When her secretary had us build her a new computer for her home Susanna marched into
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our tech office the next day and demanded to know what kind of computer we built her.
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Just so she could order one for herself that was more powerful because quote,
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it isn't right that my subordinate has a better computer than me.
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That's just one example of how petty and immature she was.
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We told her that we couldn't divulge that information because of customer privacy.
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So of course she went behind our backs and looked up the invoices to see if for herself
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because unfortunately she had the necessary access to do that.
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Then she demanded we build one for her that had a better processor,
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more memory, a bigger hard drive, etc.
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Then she proceeded to take the computer home for herself and wrote it off as a company expense.
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She didn't even pay for it like her secretary did.
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Another example of her penniness was towards myself. Back then hardware vendors used to come to us
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to display and sell their wares because they knew that if we bought them we were going to be buying
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them in bulk and that means thousands of units at a time.
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As the manager of the tech department the regional manager expected me to be at those presentations
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to learn about the product and how it would integrate with computers that my department was
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expected to build. On the day the vendors came in to give their presentation, Suzan demanded
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that I go to the warehouse during that time to help the warehouse manager put away stock.
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Wrong. I told her that as the manager of the tech department I had to be at the meeting.
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She didn't like that. She then demanded in front of the entire office and the vendors themselves
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to go to the warehouse like a lowly assistant and help put away stock.
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I refused. Then she got really irate and wanted to quote put me in my place in front of everyone
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because she couldn't stand to be told no. She had to maintain her dominance in the workplace.
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So I simply walked out of the room, got on the phone and called the regional manager.
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She actually yelled at me to come back to where I was she was because quote she wasn't finished
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with me yet. I told her quote yes you are I have a phone call to make while I was dialing.
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I got the regional manager on the phone and explained the situation in front of her,
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the vendors and the entire office. I put them on speakerphone. He demanded to speak with her
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and told her and no uncertain terms that I was to be at that presentation. No ifs answer buts.
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He told me that if she still refused to call him back. You could have heard a pin drop at the office.
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The look on her face was priceless. Her face was so red it resembled a cooked lobster.
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When I hung up the phone crossed my arms and waited and you know what she still insisted I go to
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the warehouse and help put away stock. This time Robert the sales manager who was about
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10 years older than her and Javine and tells Susanna that he would be calling the regional manager back
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if she didn't allow me to attend the presentation. She got even redder still. You could practically see
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the steam pouring out of her ears. She just screamed fine and went to her office and slammed the door
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so hard it cracked the glass window in it. I attended the presentation but forever after that she
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was trying to get myself and Robert in trouble for any petty reason she could think of. She would
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even go so far as to turn on computer monitors in the tech room after I had left. Then attempts to
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berate me the next day for forgetting to turn them off and wasting electricity. Just stupid petty
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little things like that. She would forge sales reports to try to make Robert and his team look bad
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and generally make everyone's office life miserable. Cue the revenge. Everyone in the office was
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tired of this beawards antics so we formulated a plan. We had noticed that during the quarterly
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warehouse inventory report that if there were inventory units coming up short, say several processors
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or video cards or whatever missing she would zero those negative units out in the system
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and reprint the reports to make it look like there was never anything out of place.
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She didn't investigate or try to get to the bottom of it. She just zeroed them out because she was
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lazy and didn't want those stolen or misplaced items to reflect badly on her performance as the
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office manager. About a week before the next quarterly inventory report we purposely
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heard about two crates, 60 units of video cards so that the inventory would come up short.
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The warehouse manager printed out two copies of the inventory reports,
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keeping one for himself before he presented to the reports to Susanna. Then he called the
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regional manager and told him that he might want to visit our location soon because he was
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concerned about items going missing in the warehouse. Susanna of course as we predicted zeroed out
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those missing units and presented the reports to the regional manager the next day as if everything
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was just peachy keen. The warehouse manager then took the regional manager aside and showed him
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the real reports and told him of Susanna's butt covering shenanigans. Needless to say she was
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very much fired within minutes after those reports were presented. Then the entire office
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watched in silent happiness as a disgraced Susanna cleaned out her office and made the walk of shame
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to her car. As soon as the main office door closed behind her everyone in the office cheered.
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It was loud enough that Susanna heard through the glass doors and windows as she shamed
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facely, walked her box of belongings out to load into her car, tears of embarrassment and rage
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streaming down her face. You could tell she heard because she stopped with her head down before a
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brief moment before continuing onto her car. Susanna's assistant, a nice older woman named Helen,
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became the new office manager. Everyone at the office was much happier with her at the helm
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and productivity increased accordingly. All right this next one's called finally got payback
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on a next co-worker. This was a few years ago but it ran across my mind today for some reason.
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Oh posted by fund-problem5883. When I was 20 I started a job as a teller at Wales Fargo.
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At the specific location it was a trailer or that's what we call it anyways. Just picture a super
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long skinny building. Also this is only for drive-thrues so it was located next to the actual
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bank. This drive-thru had eight drive-ups and two pull-ups for emergency. The immersion pull-ups
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were literally on the building and the others were in front. Picture a sonic fast food place.
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Four of the drive-ups were on one side of the quote unquote trailer and another on the other side.
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It took at least five of us to man this on a slow day. Well one day my boss let everyone go to
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lunch at once except for three of us. Me, Kim and Jessica. Well my half of the trailer where I was
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completely by myself and had to man the four drive-thrues and the merchant. If you know doing the
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merchant is time consuming. Sorry I'm not really sure what that means. Like what is the merchant?
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Anyways I'm gonna keep going. I'm gonna keep going. There's typically a lot of cash being
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deposited which takes time on a slated count. Well on this day Kim and Jessica just didn't feel
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like working and literally just sat there as I was trying to help five separate people at once.
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Jessica walks over and tells me to hurry up and that people are waiting. I looked at her and
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disbelief. I asked her to help. Well Kim just sat there staring at me. I got so pissed off I called
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Jessica a B word straight up. Well my idiot boss comes back from from her lunch and Jessica
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goes straight to her and complains about me and I get written up. My boss could not have cared less
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of the circumstances. Obvious oblivious to the lack of scheduling on her part. Whatever.
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Anyways I ended up getting fired because Jessica just couldn't let it go. She was traumatized.
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Also didn't help that my boss kept making me work the merchant lane. If you know anything about
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being a teller you know that being a merchant teller requires experience and this was my first
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teller job ever. Okay so the fun part. Years later I opened an account at a local credit union.
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It was just an account for fun money. Totally forgot about it after like a year and realized it was
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in the negative but it was literally $3 in the negative. So I go in to take care of it and
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lo and behold there is Jessica. She immediately recognized me. I go to the counter and another girl
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pulls up my account. I immediately tell her why I'm there of course. Well Jessica sees as an
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opportunity to embarrass me as there's also at least four other account holders in the small lobby.
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The teller that's helping me had to call a number to reset the account. Well Jessica walks over,
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leans over this girl and loudly says her account is in the negative. She needs to pay that first.
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Then clears that me and smerks. Oh heck no. So I let this girl finish the call and get things
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straight away and then I get my account to like $100 balance. Not much but again this is just my
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fun money account. I head out the door and damned be me. I run into the branch manager. I tell her
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about Jessica and that I was considering closing my account over it. Well about two hours later I
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get a call from the branch manager and she apologized profusely and told me Jessica had been let go
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because it wasn't the first complaint about her and not the first time she had been unprofessional.
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It's so funny the first comment the top comment here is karma's in page and the first response
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to that is so is Jessica. Okay this next one is called the best revenge is a life well-lived by
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trash underscore rat thrown away. A few years ago I female started working at a hobby shop where I
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met Rose and Wilson. We all started as work friends. Eventually Rose and Wilson began to date.
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Rose was gorgeous then skinny and healthy perfect skin beautiful hair cream makeup and was always
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clean. She was actively going to therapy and taking medication for her mental health issues and
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was doing great. I began to have issues at home causing me to look for my first department.
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During this time Rose and Plyther family was mistreating her. This was proven false. Eventually she
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made a claim which made Wilson and I feel that our hand is forced and got an apartment which I paid
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the entire deposit and fees for. For a bit Rose would not move in with us for around a month.
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It could not move in with us for around a month and did not put any money towards it.
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Very quickly she started to reveal that she was a parasite. Getting a dog named Toph I had to take
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care of quitting her job not paying her part no chores using my things without permission even
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stopping putting effort into herself. She didn't wash herself properly and only showered twice
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a week stinking up whatever room she was in. Soon she began taking my any anger she had out on me
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then saying it wasn't her fault since she was bipolar, loved on me then went back to mistreating
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me. Wilson did not get involved to avoid her wrath. Eventually she had isolated me, made me the
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bad guy, made me rely on her having learned of my own issues and then using them against me.
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I tried to reach out for help from a mutual friend who turned around and told Rose out of revenge
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since I friend zone her. This made Rose gaslight me into thinking I was being the crazy one.
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I was forced to stay with them as I had nowhere to go. We moved into a slightly bigger apartment with
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an extra person after Toph passed. Rose left the door open while I was at work and Toph got out
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into a busy street which Rose blamed on Wilson's little brother. Oh my god that's horrible.
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The Revenge
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Eventually I found my Nalfianse Sam, him taking my attention from Rose causing the behavior to get
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worse. I finally realized what Rose had been doing to me. I moved out later while they were on a
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two day trip. I basically vanished from their lives. I didn't pay my part of the rent for that
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month since I was only a week into it. I canceled the water bill that was under my name and I had
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reported the nasty condition Rose and Wilson left their room in causing bug issues that spread
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to the apartment below. Then as the last bit of revenge I took Toph's ashes as she was really my
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dog anyways. They didn't get evicted but they had to pay fees which on top of the water being
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shut off, Rose's roses start working again but she's been able to hold down a job for more than a
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month. A year later I'm in an apartment with my best friend of 10 years, my fiancee and my new
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kid. I had started to go out of my way to post happy life updates knowing she had a second account
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purely to stalk me. I got engaged with her. Wilson doesn't want to despite her insistence.
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With a beautiful proposal I have a great job of just setting me on a career path for the rest of my
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life. I lost weight, I'm in therapy and I'm planning a wedding that while small is incredibly
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nice and something she could never have. Recently I saw Rose in public. She is overweight,
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covered in acne, has a matent hair and looks like she hasn't showered in weeks,
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uncompunied by a miserable looking Wilson. Rose spotted me with Sam even trying to follow us but
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was stopped by Wilson. Sam told me she looked furious. I had pretended to not even notice her.
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The best revenge from all of this is living a better life than her and knowing I live rent-free
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in her mind. This next one is post my number on fake mail for mail casual encounters ads.
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How about fake Craigslist ads bringing hundreds of people to your dorm at 5.30am?
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This is posted by Redditus Randomness. In my mid 20s, early 2010s, I was looking for a used
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MoPet. I found one on an online marketplace. The seller didn't want me to go to him so he met me
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at my apartment complex. It was a really big apartment complex so he wouldn't know where I actually
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lived. He pulls the MoPet out of the back of his truck and 2-3 pieces literally fall off of it.
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I had a flat tire so I couldn't test right it. It had a flat tire, excuse me. At this point, I'm out.
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He starts yelling at me about how I'm a time wester and how I should pay for his gas. I tell him off
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as I'm walking away and that was that, except he kept calling and texting me talking crap.
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I got it in mid. It got quite juvenile between us. Part of me was like just blocked this fool and
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be done, but the petty part of me kind of liked watching him squirm because I was dropping rhetorical
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elbows on him. Pretty much all of his insults were something about me being gay and liking K6.
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I'm straight and my then girlfriend was with me when I met up with him.
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So after a while I started feeding into it, except I turned it about his mom being a dude
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and me being her top. I told you very soft, themoric and depraved, think like a south park
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type of dialogue. After our particularly brutal exchange, she stopped and I thought it might
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finally be over. The next day mid-afternoon, my phone starts blowing up. When I say blowing up,
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I mean I was getting so many calls that every time I answered one, I'd have multiple missed calls
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and voice mails and text messages as soon as I got off. It took a lot of figure it out,
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but he had put up multiple Craigslist ads all around the country. For everything from severely
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discounted vehicles, great deals on fake apartments, and even mail on mail casual encounters.
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My phone was literally unusable. I could not dial it because of constant incoming calls,
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texts and quite a few take picks. I had to borrow my girlfriend's phone to file a police report so
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they could get him to stop. After a little time, the cops calls me back with him on the line and he
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basically gets us to both to say we'll stop. Like a couple of kids getting a warning from an
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elementary school teacher or something, and that was the end. Or so I thought.
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A couple months to go by and the calls start again. Again, I call the police, but this time
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they're less than helpful, basically asking me if I can prove that it's him. I thought I might
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need to take the legal action to get it to stop, so I requested a copy of the police report.
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The copy they sent me included his address by mistake. It should have been redacted.
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That Friday night, I posted a ton of fake Craigslist ads from a burner account about giving away
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tons of household items. Bikes, kid stuff, clothes, furniture, appliances, you name it. The ads had
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a story about moving out of the country and needing it all gone ASAP. I put his address in the ads
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and said I'd be putting everything on the driveway at 5.30am sharp Saturday morning,
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and if the item they wanted wasn't out yet to knock on the door. He only lived about 20 minutes
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away from me and I couldn't miss this show, so I got to his house and parked about a block up at
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5am on the dot. Took the ads down to cover my tracks and just waited for people to start showing up.
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It was like Black Friday on steroids. People with pickup trucks and trailers, box trucks and
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plenty of people with regular cars too. It was gridlock for a few blocks around his house.
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People honking like it was rush hour. His lawn looking like a freaking concert there were so many
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people. Him and his chick were going absolutely wild. His neighbors were waking up and yelling
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from their windows. I could hear his chick screaming. I told you not to mess with that dude again.
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The funniest thing I have ever seen. I was dead. Never got any retaliation. I guess he got the
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message. He got me pretty good, but I got the better of him in the end.
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Okay, our last story is one of the funnier ones. It's really short and to the point.
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This is posted by iHateRanX07. Thank you can cut in front of me and line. Think again.
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I was at an amusement park the other day with my friend and we were riding in line for about
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one and a half hours for the best ride in the park. Near the end of the line some snot-nosed
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kid and his friend cut right in front of us. My friend could tell I was pissed and she asked
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him what they were doing. All they did was shrug and laugh. When we finally got to the ride,
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they were sitting in a seat right in front of us. I'm not good with coasters so my stomach was
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upset and I could feel I was about to throw up. But instead of getting off the ride, I said,
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hey, bitch boy. And the kid turned around and I projectile vomited in his face. I had to like it was
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an accident but I was smiling at him the whole time and he couldn't stop crying and throwing up
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himself. It wasn't even a little bit embarrassing. The kid should have been with his parents.
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The top comment says, Assault by vomit is crazy. Okay, this episode is going to be a little shorter
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because I am in a bit of a time crunch. Also, I'm not sure why but my microphone sounds really quiet
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for some reason. And I'm going to try to fix it. I hope this episode doesn't sound like a lot quieter
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than the other ones. But hopefully my microphone will be back to normal by the next episode.
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And yeah, hope you guys all enjoyed this week's episode of ridiculous Reddit stories read by a human
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again or workshopping this. But anyways, I'll see you guys in the next one. Bye bye.