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Picking Up the Call from God through the Quran
In this episode of the Becoming Muslim podcast, host Marilyn Rose shares her personal journey of embracing Islam and the profound impact of the Quran on her faith. She reflects on the challenges and j...
Picking Up the Call from God through the Quran
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Assalamu alaikum. May Allah, the peaceful one, be upon you in this episode. Today we're going to be talking about the Quran and going towards the Quran, holding on to the Quran, what is the Quran and how we as people of faith will have so much more firmness in our religion and our practice in life when we are with the Quran. Let's get to it. Welcome to the Becoming Muslim podcast. I'm your host, Marilyn Rose, Mexican white convert from the suburbs of Wisconsin, now living in London, uk. I'm here to shine a light on the beautiful religion of Islam and here to share some stories. Let's get started. Okay, so the reason I have to first frame this whole conversation because for so long I've been thinking like, oh, how am I going to serve this community? How am I going to be the person that people come to when I'm still figuring things out myself? And I had made such a big decision that I was like, I'm going to go learn and I'm going to keep studying to learn. And in Islam there's something called an alima. And these are the terms of scholars, people who have studied in a specific course, who have become in, in our modern day word of what alim and alima are. And so these are people who are your, your teachers. And so I had thought, okay, I'm gonna go on this path. And this is about a six, seven year path and for those students who are so, so on it, like they studying for the rest of their lives and they're teaching and These aren't the YouTube scholars that you see, these are the ones who advise all of the, all of the other scholars in the world. So I had thought I was going to go on this path, but it's for the past year it just seems as if it had become harder and harder to find a suitable solution for me to study because of my lifestyle and because of different, of my own advice from my teachers of what, where to go, where not to go. And it, I was, I kept thinking like, is this, is this constant no a test for me to readjust my intention of why I want to learn? Or is this, this a way that God is telling me to say no? Like this is not your path of continuing to learn, but you can still serve from sharing your own stories. And with that being said, I still give everything to God. I don't know, I don't know what my next plan in terms of study means, but I know for a fact, like I am not going to be giving any fat, any fatwas or any Islamic rulings or laws. And I don't think that it is my job or my realm to be sharing those things. But when it comes to sharing my own stories and when it comes sharing my own experiences and what this means, then that's what I want to plan to do. Inshallah, God willing, we will see how everything goes. And thank you so much for being here on this journey with me. And I'm hoping and I'm praying that I can be the best person for you to help you along your journey as well. In this world, of course, God is the first and foremost and the one who's with us all the time. And that being said, there are some times in our life that when you decide to become Muslim, all of a sudden you have such a euphoric feeling. Everything's like such a high. And you're like, yeah, it's great. If you listen to my first story of how to become Muslim, I relate my feeling of becoming Muslim for my blissful experience from when I was skydiving. And so that was what I was like, oh, this is what it is. And so you get this instant high, but then all of a sudden you start learning more. You dive into a lot more things, and you're surrounded by different cultures and things that are unknown to you, and all of a sudden you. You start getting different lows. And those lows are times that it's like what. You have to really question what your intentions are when you're becoming Muslim, but mostly because what's going on is God's showing you so much beauty. And this is the thing that I have to share all the time, because God is closer to you than your jugular vein. And God loves you more 70 times more than the best mother loves her child. And that being said, I know. I know when there are times that it's a low. And I want, like, I. I'm not a perfect person. I'm over here and I'm like, my life before I was Muslim used to be this way. It used to be with all of these friends, it used to be in all of these places. And I was having a good time doing that. And then when I became Muslim, I no longer could do that. And it. A part of you, you have these desires and that you're like, I want to have fun. I want to go out and do these things. But how am I supposed to do that now that I'm Muslim? And it's. It's a weird thing because you think for a second that because you've become Muslim, God has taken away so much from you. And that feeling, you ask, you're like, why God? Like, why am I not able to, like, be with these friends? Or why am I not able to, like, go out and do this activity? And that question of why you think that, like, why we think maybe God took this away is. It turns into. After a realization, like God was taking away what we thought we wanted and giving us something a million times better, not only in this world, but for the next. And I have to tell you that everything is. The journey is not. Is not always nice and shiny rainbows and butterflies. Inshallah, we all get that in Jannah, but also in this world too, that we get to experience all the beautiful, permissible greatness. And one beautiful thing is connecting with other sisters. I think one of the such a beautiful aspect for me has been connecting with all of the lovely Muslim sisters who have become Muslim and just be able to share our experience and learn from each other is always so wonderfully beautiful. That being said, I have to share my first year becoming Muslim was not. Was not. Was not the rainbows and butterflies. And it was a really sad and lonely time that I didn't know how to navigate. I didn't know the right steps of things. And I was going through so much of identity things, and I was going through so much of seeing people wear hijab, but it was more like make it fashion. And I was going through so many aspects. I didn't know who. I was still learning to love Allah. I was still learning who God is, even though God was with me the whole time. But there were times in my life and that first year that I felt so sad. I felt so sad that it was really hard. You know, if you've ever felt so. So much sadness or anxiety that it feels so hard to get up. And it's like you're being constantly brought down to your knees. If you're looking at it in. In such a different light. Instead of asking, like, why is this, like, how is this sadness part of my journey? Ask, like, what goodness came from this sadness? Because every time I felt like I couldn't get up, what I would do would be to go into Sajdah, into that. That moment where your head is on the prayer mat and it's almost like you're in a fetal position. Because most of the time when we're sad, we want to go into a fetal position anyway. So why not go into Sajda a lot so that you are in that moment you are closest with God. And those moments of those sadness, it wasn't because I wasn't. It wasn't because that sadness was meant to defeat me. It was because that sadness was there bringing me closer to the one who loves me most, the one who loves us all the most. Bringing me closer to Allah. And I'm still always on that journey. We're always, always on that journey, getting closer to Allah. And my first year, I have to say, was really hard because I did not know how to read the Quran. I had no idea. Of course I read through the English version. My first Ramadan, I read, I went through the English version. I read it like via app. But I didn't know the etiquette of picking up a Quran. I didn't know the beauty of what the Quran actually was. And I grew up with the Bible, okay? I grew up with the Bible. There are so many Bible verses that I had memorized, so many things that I had read. And I remember I still have it in my brain, like 3 Corinthians, like, we work together, like, there is that that verse. And like our Father art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. There were so many different, like prayers and Bible verses that I remembered. And part of the beautiful thing about being Muslim is that you do believe in the holy text. Before the Quran, you do believe in them because God has given them to every single one of his prophets. God had given Moses Musa the Torah, God had given Isa, Jesus, Isa, the Psalms, which it has is now is. Is. There are parts of it inside of the Bible. Now we don't know which parts are, have been changed, which parts haven't been changed, but there are parts that God has given. And we know even the Christians will tell you, even the Christian scholars will tell you that they know that the Bible has been changed. And so one of the things is that as Muslims, we believe in all of these texts, but we also believe that the Quran is the last and final message, is the. It is a text that not only is a text, it is a gift to us, not only to Muslims, but to all mankind. And it will never be changed. That is a promise. And one of the beautiful miracles about the Quran is that the Quran is part of Allah, is Allah's words to us. This is God speaking to us. And so I remember when I first became Muslim, the advice I had was, you go in Sajdah because that's you calling up Allah. And the way that he responds back to is from the Quran is in the Quran is. And so I I know when I was newly Muslim and I remember my mom as a Christian would tell me like, oh, you just open up the book to a page and you read it and then you take the lesson from it. And I would do that. I had no idea like what that meant for the Bible in certain aspects, but I would open it and do it with faith. And then there were so many aspects that were, were telling me in the Bible like to go that there is something more, there's something missing, there's something that to understand bigger. And so one of the things that I do with the Quran is that I'll open up a page and then Allah will speak to me. And so there are so many different strategies of reading the Quran. But the first thing is to read the Qur' an and to develop that relationship with the Quran. Because this is how Allah is speaking to us in such beautiful manner. It is such a miracle because there is in the time of the Arabs, in the time of the Arabs when the Quran was revealed, every single Prophet had such a different adversity that was going on and that God had given them an example to show during that that era. So like with Musa Moses, such a big thing in that history was that the people of Moses time were very into witchcraft and like magicianary work. And so there is the miracle of the story of the snakes. And so we know when Moses threw down his staff, it turned into a snake. And that there's so many beautiful. I will make sure to attach a link inside the bio so you can learn more about that story specifically. But during that time that was what was happening for Moses's time. And so Allah had given this beautiful miracle. And so with the Arabs and the Quraysh tribe during the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam. Peace be upon him. During his time the Arabs had beautiful poetry. And one of the aspect of the beautiful poetry is that there was none other other like it. And the, the beauty of the Arab language, Quranic Arab language. I don't know about the like modern slang Arab now, Arab language now. But the beautiful thing with Arabic is that it is there are so many words, there's so many grammar aspects to it. So you have to look at the word. The word actually has so many beautiful root meanings and in that root meaning there you have to pay attention to the context that people are speaking. And so the Arabs had poetry and Allah sent the Quran to the Arab nation and the Quran in Arabic. All of the poets of that time had said this is not something that a human could have ever produced or created. Because this is something way more beautiful than anybody has ever seen or witnessed. And that is one of the aspects in the beautiful miracle of the Quran. Now, that being said of the Quran now never being changed. Me as a white Mexican girl of Wisconsin who barely learned how to speak Spanish, which is my grandma's native tongue, I still have hopes for myself, okay? But I barely learned how to do this. Like, in my mind, it's like, how is this girl gonna be able to learn Arabic? How is this girl gonna ever be able to read Arabic? And like everything, when you have such a firm intention and you have such a beautiful Allah, Subhanahu wa ta' ala Allah the most high, he makes it easy for you. Because I don't. I still to this day do not know how I learned surah fatiha in order to pray. Because it's something for me. I'm like, what? It's another language. I'm memorizing another language. I'm learning what this means in another language. But yes, you do it. You memorize it and you don't. For me, I don't even remember the journey of the struggle to learn it because it seemed so easy. And now it's like second nature for praying in Salah. Now, of course, there are so many other things I'm learning. I'm not going to be speaking no Arabic to y' all because I don't want to be butchering anything. But at the same time, what is so beautiful is that there are. There's a beauty when you read the Quran in English. But there is another beauty when you read the Quran in Arabic. And I'm not saying you have to understand every single aspect in reading the Quran in the Arabic words in terms of, like, reciting a letter and then being able to understand that word as you're reading. But to be able to recite the Quran is just a next level beauty. And I know for me, I would. I was getting anxiety, like, really crippling anxiety. And that first year that I became Muslim, I had no idea why. I mean, new Muslim, new country, new area, so many aspects, but not being able to process it. But the biggest thing was not having Allah in terms of being able to read the Quran for me. Because I know every time now when I pick up the Quran, if I'm ever feeling, like, shortness of breath or if I'm ever feeling overwhelmed or if I'm ever feeling in a place that I'm like, okay, what am I supposed to do? As soon as I read the Quran, it's almost an instant beauty. And I need to share with this with you because for the past week I've been thinking, okay, what am I. What is this podcast topic going to be like? Allah, please help me. And I kept getting this inclination, this intuition of, you need to talk about the Quran. We have to talk about the relationship with the Quran. We have to be able to talk about the consistency and the love of having the Quran. And today, just today, I woke up and I opened up the Quran. And in the verse it was, it's chapter seven, Al Araf. And it means in this book, in this chapter, the verse that I open up to, it says this. And remember when we raised the mountains over them as if it were a cloud and they thought it would fall on them, we said, hold firmly to that scripture where we have given you and observe its teachings. So perhaps you will be mindful of Allah. Now I'm going to play it for you from the Quran app so that you can hear it in Arabic because it is so beautiful. Okay, so subhanallah. I mean, just listening to the Quran is just next level beautiful. I know when my mom first listened to it in the car, because I was like, mom, I just need to listen to the quan. She was like, it sounds like music. And when I first said this, there's an example, there has, there is a balance in this conversation. When I had first said this to a random, a born Muslim, and I was saying in conversation, oh, the Quran's like music. They were really upset and insulted and I didn't understand why, because I was thinking, oh, it's so beautiful. And then of course, as you grow older, you learn a little bit more. As you grow older in your Muslim age, you. You learn a little bit more. But it's because the Quran is such a beautiful miracle and it's such something so much more than music. And especially because of the conversation of do we listen to music as Muslims. That's a whole other topic. But for this aspect, I remember my mom also saying, like, wow, it sounds so beautiful. That is what she was trying to say. And that is also what I was trying to say. And so one of the aspects when it comes to reciting the Quran, I just want to read with you some of the beautiful, the beautiful, beautiful benefits that happens when you read the Quran. It is next level. And it's not only that this feeling of anxiety goes away, but it's this chance, this conversation, that Allah subhanahu wa ta talks with you. And so Specifically on this verse, why it hit hard for me was because like of course it said, it said this, oh, there goes my phone. It says this, hold tight to the scripture, hold firmly to what has been given to you and remember what is therein so that you may become God fearing, you may become conscious of Allah. In this whole conversation I'm reading from this test here, it talks about essentially in this, the context of the mountain being held up is when the mount of Sinai was hanged, was hung over the heads of. This is during Moses's time, Musa's time. And so this mountain hung over the heads of the people and they fell down prostrating in prayer. To the end, they are prostrating in fear. And they promised their obedience to the law of Moses. And this is the Torah at the time. And the future events, however, witness their deviations like from the law. It's. There goes. There's a lot more in the test here that talks about it. But the beautiful thing in this aspect is this, the sign of faith and that for when you have faith that you, you've been given such a beautiful gift of faith. And so when you become Muslim, when you decide that you become like when you choose, when you. Because we all have the free will, we all have this free will to choose what it is that we want to do. When you choose to become Muslim, even if you're born Muslim, you still have to choose that you're practicing Islam, but you're but born Muslims have been given a faith already. And Muslims who become Muslims have to choose it from the very beginning, ground up. And there's so many different aspects too. But when you choose to become Muslim that you need to hold firm to that faith no matter what and hold firm to the scripture, hold firm to the Quran that Allah subhanahu wa ta' ala has given us to guide us in this life. And he has given us as a guidebook for all of mankind. So there are rules that are so beautiful in Islam. The difference is this, is that in Islam, Allah subhanahu wa ta'. Ala. God has given us the direct guidebook and even so much on how to go to the bathroom. This is how we know exact way, we know every single step. From when you give birth to a child, from how that child should be entered into the world, to every aspect, to going to the bathroom, to eating with your right hand eating food, to speaking to people, to treating your neighbors, to treating your Muslim family, to treating your non Muslim family, to all the way to death. God has given us this guidebook the exact step by step that will give us the best success in this world and the hereafter. And it all starts from the Quran. And so it's about building this beautiful relationship with the Quran. And so now I'm just opening up this book when it comes to understanding about reciting Quran. And so if you one first you have to develop this relationship with the Quran anyways, because you want to. When you're going into Salah, you're calling up Allah, you're saying, allah, I need you, like guide me on the straight path every single day, five times a day, six, seven times a day. If you're praying more than just the five times a day. And the beautiful thing is that in the Quran, Allah always tells you. And so I had just prayed and Allah had given me this verse right away. It's part of this reading. And so there are different habits to develop when it comes to reading the Quran. And if you do not know, read some in English every day, but pick up the Quran in Arabic and just look at the Arabic text, look at it and make intention that you want to be able to recite it and read it and learn it so that you can get closer to God and that you can know what God is trying to tell you in this world. Because we don't have to wait until the year after to be able to hear what God is saying to us. And I remember I used to look in the Quran and cry and cry and cry because I didn't know what any of these letters meant. I didn't know what they, how they sounded. I didn't know who was going to teach me, how I was going to learn. And I have, and, and if you just open, I still have it in one of the, one of the Qurans that I own. And in it I had cried so much that there are teardrops on this page. And when you make that intention that you want to connect with God more, God makes it easy for you. And so keep trying and keep striving and keep doing your very best. And just make that intention every single day. Just renew that intention every single. Because God will not leave you. God is always here for you. And so I just wanted to share that as a reminder. But anyways, so when you're reading the Quran, if you're just looking into, you're opening the book and you're looking at it every single day, let's get out of those tongue ties. But try to strive to do something consistent because God loves consistency. And one of the things when it comes to the Quran is even if it means like you're just opening the Quran first and foremost, like that is a start. But you'll see that there's such a beautiful miracle. And I, after so many years becoming Muslim, it was such a miracle that God had given me this ability to be able to read the whole entirety, to recite the whole entirety of the Quran during the month of Ramadan. And it was such a beautiful experience because one, the Quran is like over 600 pages, right? And to be able to recite in different, a different letter that you're like, oh my gosh, is a different language. Like, how are people so fast? How does it sound? So beautiful. Like, I want to be able to do that. I didn't grow up doing that obviously, but God, with that intention, God had given me such a beautiful experience to be able to do that. And that was just one of the miracles that I had seen in my own life. And I know God is with you. Allah subhanahu wa ta' ala is with you. And he is going to be giving you so many blessings. So I'm excited for your own journey of reading the Quran. So I wanted to just under share with you like some of the benefits of what, what comes from when you study the Quran. So it is said I'm reading from this Tajweed booklet and Tajweed is essentially, it means like to recite and you want to be able to recite the Quran. And so the you when you're covering the Quran, if you want to learn about how to connect more with Kwan, you're not actually saying like, oh, I want to learn Arabic, you're first having to say like, I want to understand Tajweed. And Tajweed is the pronunciation of every single word. So one of the benefits, I'm just going to read some of the benefits of studying the Quran. You will become one of the best of people. Uthman Randyland on who said that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, the best of you are the ones who learn the Quran and teach it to others. And that's. This is from Hadith book Bukhari and Hadith is like the practice. The Hadith comes after the Quran for us as Muslims of what we're learning. And that's a lot of times the scholars will study so much of that and they're the ones who teach us. And so we believe in that. So first, as someone who's becoming new Muslim still like maybe Muslim for 10, 20 years, but you're still learning. This is first and foremost, the most important thing is, is to get this connection with the Quran from my experience and understand the rules and how we're supposed to live our lives and abide by things. And so, okay, the next thing, the next point is abundant reward every time you recite. So whoever reads a letter from the book of Allah, the Quran, he will have a reward and that reward will be multiplied by 10. I'm not saying that Alif lam mem is a letter, rather that I'm saying Alif is a letter, lam is a letter, and Meem is a letter. That is extraordinary because one of the things like you'll know is like you'll get something that's called a harakat, which means reward. So how many rewards you get for reading the Quran is just so beautiful. And so I'm just going to look up how many letters are there in the quan. The. There are 3,000. No, there are 325,000 384,000 letters of the Quran. That's how if you're reading the whole Quran one time, you're getting 325,384 rewards. Now imagine you had $325,000 in your bank account and this is like getting a reward absolutely for free. So many people work all. Some people work their whole lives and they never have a hundred thousand dollars to their name. But you can read the Quran one time and you can get over 325,000 rewards to your book of rewards. And not only that, there are people who have who read the Quran in one day. So there are such an abundance. Can you imagine just filling up that reward system every single day? It's so incredibly beautiful. And there is, it's just such a graceful experience to have. So, I mean, how merciful is Allah that he has given us this ability to not only let him talk to us through reading the Quran, to learning the Quran, but when we recite it, we're getting like bonus points, which is beautiful. So the next step is that the reciters of the Quran will be in the company of the noble and obedient angels. So Aisha Randilan Anha, may Allah be pleased with her, relates that the Prophet said, verily, the one who recites the Quran beautifully, smoothly and precisely, he will be in the company of the noble and obedient angels. And as for the one who recites with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, then he will have twice that reward. I think that is so I just have to read that again. Okay. For the one who recites with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, then he will have twice that reward. It's so beautiful because for me, I know when I became Muslim and I heard all these people reciting, it was something I thought, okay, I'll never be able to achieve that, but maybe when I'm in Jannah, Allah will be. Will. Will teach me the Quran then. And I don't know why I got that. I had thought. But I had thought that. And because it was just so difficult. It was so hard. It was so. I mean, I'm again, a girl over here, not even speaking Spanish. No. Abdul Espinol, lo siento, por favor. Okay, I'm not speaking Spanish. And this is my grandmother's, like, mother tongue, where you'll have so many people who are multilingual and they're also reciting the Quran. And it comes. So what in my mind was naturally and easily. And for me, I was like, whoa, I'm never going to be able to achieve that. But, okay, like, how is this gonna go? And it's so beautiful because Allah not only rewards that person who's reciting it beautifully and easily, but for the one who is going through that difficulty and going through that, that stammering or stumbling, then Allah's giving you twice that reward. And so this is for the Quran. Now just know as someone who's becoming Muslim, someone who's on their journey, no matter what difficulty that you're going through, God is with you. And there is so much reward in it. And so there are so many lessons that we have to get. I want you to ask yourself, like, if you're going through any difficulty or hard time, ask yourself what goodness is coming from this difficult. Because so, so often we usually identify with, oh, this is hard, this is tough. And you start to identify with a per. Like, oh, I'm a person who has anxiety, or I'm a person who's gone through a low time. But you don't have to identify it with that way. It's not part of your identity. Rather, it's an experience in the state that you're going through. And if you ask yourself, just ask yourself this question, what goodness is coming from this difficulty? And sit with that and ask that. And of course, the beautiful thing is this. When you make dua, when you lift your hands up and you're lifting to make dua, you don't have to ask Allah, just simply, allah, let me get through this. But you're allowed to ask Allah, Allah, please take away this difficulty and Let me get through this. So much times, so much more better. Because Allah wants you to ask him to remove the difficulties that you're facing, because he wants you to go towards him so that you can actually go towards him for anything. And it's all asked. It's all part of this aspect of having this free will, this free choice, and to rely upon Allah, to rely upon God, because God is the one who's created us. God knows us. He is the one who has created us and knows us from all of our ins and outs. And it's so incredibly beautiful. And so in this. I will leave it with. I will leave it with that for today's episode and today's episode of the Becoming Muslim podcast, because we touched on a lot of, a lot of aspects. And if you're someone who might not have the Quran, you don't have one, please reach out to me on the Instagram Becoming Muslim podcast. I'm available on my other Instagrams, but at the Becoming Muslim podcast, you can reach out to me and you'll know it's me responding as well. But if you come to that, that page and you don't have a Quran, I'm very happy to send it to you. And let me know, I will send you a Quran, insha'. Allah. But also, one just important etiquette is that before you pick up the Arabic Quran, you want to make sure that you're in the state of wudu, which means, like, you've done your washing rituals. If you don't know wudu is yet, just go in, take a nice shower, rinse your mouth, rinse your nose, and then come out of your shower and then be dressed. And for ladies, you want to cover your hair when you're reading the Quran and just be fully covered in terms of modest attire, so you have your arms, your legs, all, all the goods nice and clothed. You want to be in a very respectful, respectful way because this is your connection with God. And it's. If you went to go meet the, the President of the United States, you're not going to go showing up in your bathrobe. I don't know now, but people, I don't know what people are doing these days, but for somebody who wants to show up with dignity, you're not going to be going to a bathrobe. So when you're coming to your creator, you want to make sure that you're dressed up for the creator. And in that case, it means being dressed up in the way that he wants you to dress up. Which is the beautiful noble way. So just go take a shower, be in a state of wudu and be covered and then read the Quran and when you do it just open it up with the intention that you want to get closer to Allah, you want to get closer to God and of course make your own intentions as well. But for those of you who are here, thank you so much for listening. Jazakallah khayt. May Allah reward you with goodness. And again if you're liking this podcast share it to a friend or family member who maybe is going on your journey. Share this with somebody who you might if you're born with some listening to this, share it to somebody who is on their path to becoming Muslim. And I would love for you to connect with me on Becoming Muslim podcast and let me know your own personal journey and beautiful experience with the Quran. I would love to share that maybe on the stories or something that way but jazakallah khai so much. Assalamu alaikum and we will speak soon.