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Perfecting Character
In this episode of 'Perfecting Character,' the speaker emphasizes the importance of cultivating good character in accordance with Islamic teachings, drawing inspiration from the life of Prop...
Perfecting Character
Technology •
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Speaker A
Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim Alhamdulillah Wassala to Assalamuala Rasulillah. As we do before commencing any of our lectures, we make dua for our brothers and sisters in Gaza. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta' ala in all his glorious names and attributes, in all his names which he knows or he has taught us or has kept hidden to Himself or taught any of his servants, to give victory to our brothers and sisters in Gaza and to bring for them support from around the world. Those whom Allah subhanahu wa ta' ala is pleased with and they are pleased with him and O Allah, make us among them. I ask Allah to have mercy upon their martyrs and make their children are waiting for them. O Allah, compensate them for their loss and avenge them for the terror which has been brought to them. Although they stand firm, oh Allah, keep them firm on their deen and value. O Allah, unite them with the righteous and return this Ummah a good return to the path of strength and and the path of respect as it once was before. Oh Allah, forgive our shortcomings and help us and guide us in what is best. Tonight, brothers and sisters, we're going to talk. I'm going to give an introduction, just an introduction about character, character of a Muslim and then afterwards in the next lectures to come and go and to grab a topic about character and speak about it in detail, specifically one by one. So tonight is a general introduction with a few important points that I would like to raise and we walk away with some benefit. Insha'. Allah. Allah subhanahu wa ta' ala has referred us to the best of creation from where we can seek our understanding of what true and good character which pleases Allah comes from. We can't do it by ourselves. And character is a very difficult yet very rewarding and not an impossible feat to increase in and excel in Allah. Subhanahu wa ta' ala mentioned who? He mentioned our Prophet Muhammad as our best role model. When it comes to the best of character in the Quran, Allah says you, O Muhammad, you are upon a most tremendous character. Allah never uses the word azeem tremendous except for something which is truly phenomenally tremendous. And he only said it about the Prophet Muhammad. Sallallahu alaihi wasallam. Because the Prophet Muhammad endured every type of hardship, calamity and challenge that every other Prophet and messenger endured. And even more even till today. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam is shining and his name is everywhere. And people who hate Islam and hate the Prophet, peace be upon him, or they are ignorant of Islam. They continue to talk badly about the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wasallam. But through all what he endured, he had the best and the most perfect character in all the different changing circumstances. So we have so much information about Prophet Muhammad s life, even inside his home and outside. So much detail. More than any other prophet and messenger, in fact, more than any other human being in history, down to the letter, down to how he moved his lips. Sallallahu alaihi wasallam. And we can find an example for each and every one of us in the character of the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wasallam which we can relate to. Whether you have an anger problem or you have a hatred problem or you have a jealousy problem or whether you have an issue with dealing with challenges and people's hate towards you or with people's hardship towards you or whether you have problems with money or health or anything that you name it. There is an area and an aspect of our Prophet Muhammad that you can read about in the Quran or in the Sunnah through hadiths, authentic hadiths from which you can relate to. And I remember when I used to be 14, 15 years old back in Lebanon, every khutbah, every jumu' a that would come along, I'd go to the khutbah and I don't know if this happens to you, there was something that I'd have a challenge with during that week and subhanallah, coincidentally, or maybe I believe that it is from Allah Subhanahu wa ta'. Ala not really coincidentally, but the khutbah would be about it. Have you ever noticed that? Have you experienced that sometimes the khutbah comes and addresses something that's been on your mind. So I believe that that is guidance from Allah Subhana wa ta'. Ala. It doesn't have to be through the khutbah, it can be through any other means. But that was something I still remember. And when Allah subhana wa ta' la brings that to you, there is an aspect of the deen or an aspect of the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wasallam that you can really relate to. And then it becomes your strength and your motivator and your inspiration to help you change your character and improve it. Allah also says in the Quran giving an example about high character. Allah says and he praises, he praises those who are able to restrain their anger when they feel intense anger. Obviously it is very natural to feel Allah praises those who can overcome it and control it and direct it and channel it in the right direction. They do things and they learn how to adapt to that anger and how to channel it and manipulate it. Whether it be for some people to get out of the situation they're in, or they learn how to regulate that emotion, or whether they channel it somewhere else. Those people who can learn how to channel their anger and take control of it, Allah praises them. There is a higher level than controlling and channeling your anger, and that is those who are able to pardon people. Because anger usually comes from outside or from situations that we don't have control over. And often it comes from people around us. So Allah then says, those who are able to reach a point when of regulating their emotions so much so that they can actually find it in their heart to pardon people. Pardoning doesn't mean that you totally forgive, not necessarily, but it is the best and highest virtue if you can, for your own sanity. But pardoning means don't take action in most of the cases and let it go, Move on and focus on yourself. We always say to people, if you cannot control someone else's behavior so long as you are not in danger, or your wealth and property, or your life or dignity or something is in danger which you need to defend as a Muslim, so long as it'll go away, find a way to just pardon it. Meaning don't take action and focus on what benefits you. That's a higher degree. Not everybody can reach it. And that is why the reward is equal to the strength of a person's ability to reach that not everybody can reach it, and that's why the reward is higher. Then Allah mentions Wallahu, Yuhibbul, Muhsin in an even higher degree than both of them, is not only to be able to pardon the people who angered you, but also to continue to do good towards them. But they don't deserve it. They say, yes, you don't have to. But see, this is a higher degree of wisdom and intelligence where a person knows when to continue to do goodness in the right place and whenever they can, they still do it. And you know most people who hurt you and anger you, a lot of people who deliberately do that. If you know, if they continuously do that to you and you've done nothing wrong with them, there's something about them that they don't like about you, that you're a competition to them, that there's something about you which they want to control but they can't control. Whatever the reason is. When they see you doing good, even after that, it burns them even more. A lot of people misunderstand, don't get that, it burns them even more. And to see you rage and to see you become like them is very tasteful to them. They like seeing that. So sometimes no response is the best response. And even doing good, and you say, this guy, this person's not even getting affected by what I'm doing. Usually I see it as teachers, you know, that I was a teacher and I can see it in students whenever someone bullies another one of the best strategies, if they obviously defend themselves, they do. But the best strategies to act like they don't even exist. Their words cannot affect them. Most of the time it works, and other times they need to learn martial arts. So I'm not saying that, you know, we just turn the other cheek. Don't go around bashing people at school, brothers and sisters, use other means as much as you can to avoid fighting. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam was described. The companions used to say, and his wives used to say, the messenger of Allah was the best of all people around us in character. Anyone you saw, he had better character. In fact, one day the Prophet said to Umar, ya Umar wallahi nafsiyadi, by the one who possesses my soul, you will never reach true piety of the highest degree until you can love. Until you can love me, the messenger of Allah, not me as a person, but as a messenger of God, you know, more than anything else. So he said, wallahiya rasulallah, I love you more than anything else except than myself. He was straight out. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, no ya Omar, even until it's more than yourself, truly. So he thought about it for a few moments and then he said, now, ya rasulullah, I truly love you even more than myself. He said, how did you get to that? He said, I thought about my character and your character. I thought about my shortcomings and your shortcomings. I thought about my value and your value, and I found that in every area you were superior. And I would love to have that character in me. But because it's in you, I found myself loving you even more than myself. I could not find anything I hate about you, so I loved you more than myself. And this is how we work towards it, my brothers and sisters. I'll just enumerate a few more hadiths about character and then, insha', Allah, a bit more detail. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, the hadith is In Tirmidhi, he said, there is nothing that is heavier in the scale for a believer on the Day of Judgment than the goodness of their character. And Allah subhanahu wa ta' ala hates and dislikes. Allah dislikes the the person who is foul mouthed indecent words and the one who insults and swears another hadith. In Tiramidhi, the Prophet said, the closest people to me in status on the Day of Judgment or in paradise are the ones who have excellent character. The best of them have, the more they excel in character, the closer they'll be to me on the Day of Judgment. He also said, they also said about the Prophet, sallallahu alaihi wasallam. The messenger of Allah was not the type that used indecent, foul language and actions, nor did he abuse and insult. And he used to say, the best among you is the one who is best in character. In another Hadith, he says, the ones who used to be best in character in Jahiliyya, meaning before the Quran was sent before the Prophet, peace be upon him, came out as a messenger, they were still non Muslims. Then after they became Muslims, you will find they have a better character. And it continues that would be the best of character. The ones who, meaning that good character is a trait. And I'm going to come to something very important for you to know that religion to be religious, iman and religion and good character are actually separate. But iman, iman and knowledge of your deen and knowing how Allah rewards you with and what he punishes you with, that's a motivator for your character to be improved. Every person who has a great character does not necessarily have good religion, good deen, but every person who has deen, you'll find among them who has amazing character. We'll get to that insha' Allah in a minute. He also said, sallallahu alaihi wasallam. True piety and closeness to Allah involves excellence in character. And to know what a sin really is, other than Allah and his messenger telling us about it is whatever scratches at your conscience. And you would hate people to know that about you. Not everybody has that conscience. Some people have lost their conscience. The Prophet's not talking about people who no longer have a conscience, who just got used to inappropriate bad character and corruption in their life and they lost their soul. We are talking about people who still have what we call the fill, who are still in the natural innocence as Allah created us. You will naturally feel that something is wrong. Even animals feel it. You see a Cat, for example, if you give it food, it will eat it in peace. But if it has to snatch the food, it runs away. That's an instinct, isn't that correct? And also you see a baby or a child when they snatch a dummy off the other child, right? They know that they've done something wrong. So it's instinctive in us, when we feel that something's wrong, you know something's wrong with that sin. It's a sin, insha'. Allah. Most likely. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam was asked about those who mostly enter Paradise. What are they made up of? Who are the ones who mostly enter Paradise? He said two things. Taqwallah, the God consciousness and God fearance. So taqwallah wahusn khuluq. And with it accompanied high good character. You have these both. You'll be the most abundant in the high places of Paradise. And then he was asked, who are the ones who most abundantly enter hellfire? And then he said, as a result of what do they enter? And he said, as a result of what their tongues say and what their private parts are used for. So those two are the worst, to be followed by our desires. We have to control them, our mouth and the private part, meaning the tendency to want to do haram, indecent sexual acts. And the mouth, because it keeps running, gossip, backbiting, insulting, putting people down constantly, constantly abusing the mouth, just keeps going and going and going. So the Prophet, peace be upon him, is to say, whoever believes in Allah and the hereafter, then should train themselves in brackets to say something good or be silent. Of course, we're not all perfect, but to work towards it and to guard their chastity, right? Which means adultery, fornication, chatting up, leading towards going out in haram way and meeting up and online and sending photos and forgive me for the word sexting and things like that. You know what I'm talking about, all of that. He said, this is the main. This is one of the greatest reasons that people end up in hellfire. And he's talking about the believers, by the way. He's not talking about. We haven't even gone to talk about those who don't even believe in Allah. He's talking about from among the Muslims. May Allah not make us among them and forgive our sins. He also said, sallallahu alaihi wasallam. I guarantee a house, a palace, a house in the mediocre parts of Paradise. Mediocre parts of paradise. But it's still in paradise, in the gardens. For whoever is able to, whoever is able to disengage from nonsensical, non beneficial argumentation, even if he is in the right. In Islam, we are discouraged strongly from entering into arguments, even debates which don't lead to any good except just harm, wasting of time. And that's when you talk to someone and you see that they're just like a brick, all they do is insult. You're only wasting your time. So you just say what needs to be said and cut the argument short. You don't. And he said, even if you know you're right, even while you're right, and that's actually a strong character by the way, when you are able to say the right words and then disengage, you've won. But we're not there to win, we're there to guard our character. Turn away from those who are ignorant. And ignorant doesn't just mean someone who doesn't know something. Ignorant also means people who do know it. But they're manipulative, they want to fight, they just want to cause trouble. Turn away from them. Go and focus on where your time is better spent. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said I a mediocre place for those who disengage from nonsensical, non beneficial argumentation, even if they are right. And I guarantee a palace or a house in the heart of paradise for whoever avoids all forms of lying, even if they are joking. What does that mean? Doesn't mean any type of joke. So you might say a joke to make people laugh or to say a lesson out of it. The joking here means the joke that causes harm. A joke that is inappropriate. A joke like lying, lying with your joke to hurt people or to put down people. Oh, we're just joking. Rasulullah said, I guarantee in the heart of paradise. And then he said, and I guarantee a place in paradise, in the highest place of paradise. For who? For the ones who have excelled in their character. So character is an all rounder thing. The hadith is Sahih al Abu Dawud. So brothers and sisters, as you can see, there are a lot of Ayat in the Quran and hadiths that talk about high character. Okay, we move on. Now the level of good character from person to person varies. Some people excel, some people are halfway, some people are doing their best. And then there are some people who just give in to their bad character and personalities knowingly and they just say that's what I am. You like it, like it, don't like It. And they swear at you, stuff you. No. And they vary, right? The whole idea, brothers and sisters, that Islam has come with the Prophet said in the hadith, which is authenticated through other hadiths. I have only been. As a matter of fact, I have been sent to help you complete the virtues of your character. This is what we work towards. So people vary in character for two reasons. Number one, you are born already psychologically imprinted in your genetics with a certain personality, psychology and behavioural tendencies. Did you know that? That is established in scientific research and it's also supported in the hadith of the Prophet, peace be upon him. In our Sunnah. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, the hadith is sahih Muslim. He said, people are like different metals. We talked about this another time. Meaning some people are like gold, some people like silver, some people are in between. Some people like metal, like steel, some are like iron, some are like this or that. So people are like different types of metals. Their value is different based on their character, their personalities. Some have a tendency to get angry very quickly if they are challenged or put in a place where it's their automatic reflex and response. Other people get sad very quick, other people are more emotionally driven, other people are a bit more kinder, other people a little bit more rougher and so on. That does not mean that you should settle for that. All it means is that that is your test in life and you've got to try to work on calibrating that and improving. We call this in genetics, epigenetics. And what it means is that it's your. It's a predisposition, you're born with it inherently, but it means that you're susceptible to certain reactions in certain given conditions. You need to recognize that. Write it down in your journal and start saying, how can I improve on that? And I'll give you some strategies at the end. The second way that a person's character varies and their behavior, of course it shows in their behavior as well, is it's when it's acquired. It's your upbringing, it's the environment that you were born in, the family that you were raised in, the friends that you hung around with growing up, the influences that you allowed yourself to be exposed to, the experiences in your life. These things affect your behaviour. We need to recognize them and see where our weakness and strengths are and work on it. Insha Allah, for example, Umar al Khattab Radiallahu Anhu used to have an inherited trait of anger. And when he was in his non Islamic years, he would get angry at the wrong people. When he became a Muslim, he channeled his anger against the people who deserve it for the sake of Allah. Such as in battles, such as when he became the leader and before that, such as in truth, when it means the people's rights. So he employed that strong emotion in the right place. Can you do that? That will be a great feat and a great reward. My brothers and sisters, some people, you cannot control their behaviour. So what do you do? Don't try to change it. You control yours. The Prophet once exited the Masjid and saw a man. He was raging, raging. Everyone was trying to calm him down. They couldn't. Instead of the Prophet, peace be upon him, going towards him, he went the other way. Why he said that man, if he says one word, I seek refuge in Allah from Satan the outcast. His anger would go away. It seems like the Shaytan had good hold of him, but he didn't go towards him. Why? Because he was not in a place to listen. It was going to get worse and he might say something to the Prophet in which he earns Allah's anger. So the Prophet moved away and gave him time. When he calmed down, then he talks to them. And that's a way of treating people who are close to you, like your children, your spouse, your parents, yourself, your siblings, cousins, relatives. Is to try and approach them in times when things are calm and to approach in the most lenient way and most careful way that you can. Otherwise you control your behavior. If you cannot control other people's behaviour. And this is what Allah will ask you about. Brothers and sisters, I now come to a misconception which I would really love to share with you. We said before that Iman religion, to be religious and to have faith and to have strong belief is one thing that's one strength and the other strength is good character. There is a misconception where people think that every religious person means that they must have excellent character. But that is wrong. Religious and character are actually separate. However, having faith, piety and God fearing Iman and knowledge of your deed, well, and looking at how the Prophet was as a role model and his companions and being around people who have high character, who remind you of Allah, sorry. And you read the Quran and take it seriously to try and apply it. All these actions of Iman, of religious, of religious pursuit and Iman and practice, they serve as a reminder and a motivator to improve your character so you have more of a chance for your character to excel. The evidence is in the Quran Allah subhana wa ta' ala says, o you who have believed. Do not let a group of you insult and abuse another group. They may be better than you. But he still called them what? Believers. Oh you who have believed. So there is a trait of believers who could probably insult. So Allah says you're believers now, you need to work on his character. Allah also says, oh you who have believed. Faith full of, faith full of iman Religious avoid much of your suspicions. There's too much speculation happening and suspicions. So now religious work on your suspicion. Two different things. Don't spy on one another. Religious people may spy. You've got to work on that. Don't backbite one another. And who's he addressing? The religious people. Allah also says, o you who have believed. Again, religious people, faithful people. If someone who is untrustworthy or a news that is corrupt, that can cause problems and trouble and fitna comes to you, verify, clarify, find out and see if you do have to take action. If you do find out, verify, seek so that you do not attack a people ignorantly and hastily and then you will be regretful over what you did. Again, he is addressing the faithful ones. But can they have bad character and just believing everything that comes their way and attacking people and backbiting people and assuming bad about people? Yes. So these are separate. Remember what I said before. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said that the most reasons that makes people enter paradise are two things. Fearing Allah, having God consciousness most of the time in your life or throughout your life and husn al khuluq coupled with excellent character. Again the Prophet's talking about taqwa God consciousness and iman one thing, hostnal khaluk another. Otherwise the Prophet would have just said sallallahu alaihi wasallam taqwallah. Just fearing Allah having Iman being religious, he wouldn't have mentioned Hassan al Khuluq and Allah wouldn't have mentioned it separately. And we all know the hadith which is weak in its narration but correct in its meaning. And you'll probably be a bit shocked when I say this hadith because we use it and it's very popular when it comes to marriage for people who want to get married. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said to the fathers and to the women, to the girls and the ladies and you know, families, if a man with good religion and good character approaches you for marriage or for your daughters for marriage, then give your daughters to them or you accept them in marriage. If you do not do so, there'll be much corruption on earth. That second part, much corruption on earth is not correct. Also does not fit with the meanings of the Quran and Sunnah. Just because, you know, you didn't accept someone who didn't have high character and good religion doesn't mean that there's going to be corruption. Because, you know, also you got to be attracted, for example, physically, right? You got to be attracted personalities. I mean, there's a lot of companions who had amazing character, like Zayd and Zaynab who were married, they were both promised paradise, but their marriage didn't work out. So we can't say everyone who's on the deen, that's a TikTok term on the deen, they really don't know what it means. I wish they did. On the deen and good character, what does it mean? So also there are other factors. Compatibility, personality, family and the rest. Anyway, I wanted to emphasize from that hadith anyway, the first part that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, their religion and their character. So just because somebody seems like they're praying in the mosque or they're reading Quran or the hafid or they've studied or whatever it is, and from head to toe, Masha Allah, the man or the woman look like they just hopped out of paradise. We cannot just take that for granted because we also have to study the character side. You can have religious people who've got a very nasty character and you can have people who have got excellent character, but their religion is corrupt. So don't take one without the other. Don't make a blanket rule. So a person can be sinful with a high character and can be a worshipper and avoid sin, but has a terrible character. In fact, they may use verses of the Quran to manipulate you and to take control. Why? Because of their bad character. Some people who got religion in their life, the shaitan, may make them forget to be humble and then they start thinking they are superior to others because they pray a bit more or they fast a bit more, they give sadaqah a bit more because they read the Quran a bit more, they grow their beards or they wear their hijab better. And then suddenly they forget that the character comes hand in hand with iman and that is they start looking down on others and judging others and using the words versus impressing others and vice versa. People who are not religious, they start to hate on all religious people and give them a blanket, a collective judgment to everybody and say all religious people are bad, stay away from them. And in fact they Love it when they hear bad things about religious people and say, yeah, it's those religious people, both of them are in the wrong. You can't make a blanket rule and that is severe oppression. There is a great predecessor named Al Fudail IBN Ayad who said, sorry, not fajirun husnaluki ahabu elaya minan sayu al Holoki in Al fasika idakana alholuki wahafa alan nasi wahu alana. The meaning of that is quite interesting. He said, for a person who is irreligious, were to accompany me but has excellent character would be more favoured to me to walk with than to walk with a person who recites and reads, meaning he is a man of religion but has very bad character. For a person who is corrupt in their religiosity, if they have good character, he treats you with decency and he is not a burden on people and people will like that person because of their treatment to him. And a person who is constantly worshipping but has very bad character will be a burden on people and people will start to despise him. Now, of course, this does not mean that we should favor a person who has good character and neglect everyone who is religious. What he is saying is that in worldly life, to have a good character, you feel safer around that person, you feel better around that person, but don't imitate that person with his religion because obviously they're not going to be good influence in piety, but they're good influence in character. What he's saying is, if you can get both, that would be the amazing thing. Somebody who fears Allah and with excellent character. Wallahi. I know many, many, many of them growing up and they never escaped my mind. I learned so much from them. Some of them were my teachers and my shaykhs growing up. Some of them were friends. I used to wake up in the morning in Lebanon. I remember it's where it all started. And I used to say, oh, Allah, today bring to me someone a company whom you love and is of great character. And subhanallah, it always worked. I'd get the bad character, but then the good character would calm me down. I remember once walking with my friend. We were 16 years old leaving school and you know, we're talking about Deen and he's got really good character and he doesn't look like a shaykh or an imam, but he has. So not everybody has to be up on the pulpit, by the way, or on the mimbar or an imam to know that they have everybody's an individual. And I remember saying to him, subhanallah, I don't know why I ask Allah to always bring to me people that are God fearing and of high character. And when you have people who are God fearing, they don't sit there judging you on everything. Wallah. They're actually so easy with you. They smile to you, they just help you very tenderly. Those are the people of Allah. These are the people you love to be around and find them. My brothers and sisters, there is another misconception. Listen carefully. When those who think that religious religiosity, person being religious necessarily means high character, may fall into judging religious people collectively or even judge the religion itself. That's why it's not a good way of looking at it. Start judging the religion itself. Some people say if their religion was right or that they wouldn't be like that. But you've judged the religion or you punish everyone collectively. I've heard some brothers and sisters, they say, you know what? I'm not even going to marry anyone who is religious because I've seen this and I've seen that I might as well go marry someone who, you know, drinks alcohol and whatever. At least they treat me better. You can find people, Alhamdulillah, who are God fearing. But the thing is, you know, the ones who are bad character are always louder. They're always louder. We know some of my students are here. We remember in class, you go into a class, there's three or four who ruin it for the rest of the students. They are just the loudest. Then we say, oh, that class, you know, 10G, they're the worst. It's only really three or four, right? So we can't collectively punish everyone and say everyone's the same. So insha' Allah. And vice versa is true. Those who attribute themselves to religiosity, meaning they count themselves as religious and practicing, may fall into the error of judging those who are tested with apparent sinful behavior or they look sinful right on the outside. Meaning. Meaning people who attribute themselves to religion can fall into the practice or the assumption of looking at everyone who doesn't look religious, non practicing. And then they collectively punish them and say anyone who dresses like that, or anyone who's like that or anyone who's not praying or anyone who's not doing this. They have a degenerate character in them. Just collectively assuming about everyone. They must be degenerate in their character and their morals. I've seen people who've come out of families who are the worst of the worst when it came to religion. But they've never had the opportunity or the chance of anybody coming to teach them the deen. And when they did, they became 10 times better than me and you and vice versa. I've seen people come out of really religious families and subhanallah, they become the lowest of the low with their behavior. May Allah subhana wa ta' la make us among those whom he loves. A person may be lacking in one area of character but excels in another area of character. And I say to both of these people, the ones who are non practicing who judge all religious people and paint them with the same brush and those who are religious who paint all non practicing people with the same brush, I say to you, remind you of the hadith of the Prophet which which is in Bukhari and Muslim Beware of constant assumptions and judgment, for assumptions and judgments are the most lying forms of whispers in the head. And remember the ayah in the Quran. O people, be concerned with yourself, meaning be concerned with improving yourself. Those who are misguided will not guide you if you are guided. This doesn't mean that you don't advise people. This doesn't mean that you don't command good and prohibit evil when when you should do it and where you can do it with wisdom and goodness. All it means is that don't let a few bad character or a few bad experiences make you make a blanket rule of just giving up altogether. Brothers and sisters. However, a person who loves their religion and wants to be a true believer and raise higher in the closeness of Allah would be lacking in his or her faith if their religion is neglected. So a person with low character means that the iman is low. But if a person has good character and iman, it's a sign also of their iman. So a religious person must make their character their priority and improve in areas where they are weak. In wallahi brothers and sisters, as I told you, I've seen many amazing people who fear Allah of the most impeccable character that you will think that is there a hidden paradise on earth with paradise people there most amazing wallahi. And in saying that in today's time there are some people who appear religious even though I would expect that they are only a minority. But with the growing social media they pop up a lot. But you know, you've got 7 billion people around the world or so you're going to see a lot of them popping up because we live in a hub now in social media, right Sometimes any talk you see or any place they go, or anyone who posts something, they just pop up out of their cave and they start going only because they can. And you know, we say that whoever doesn't hold accountability for their actions, that's where you really know their character. What will you do if you have access to something and you can do whatever you want? How would you act if you're not accountable? So these types of people, and I'm going to talk about both, by the way, those who are religious, those who are not, they both have something to learn, insha', Allah, and we learn for ourselves. So in this day and age, even though I assume they are a minority, some of those who act religious on the outside have unfortunately given a wrong image of Islam and the wrong image of the honest practicing people to the general public and to the masses by their practices that have become, you know, known. Such as you might find a religious person who is just constantly lying, manipulating, evading, breaking appointments. These are common in some religious people who are not monitoring their character. Misappropriating funds and corrupt portfolio management. Sneaky in financial dealings, competitive with money. And they ask questions about other people's income. Why? To judge them or to compete with them? How much does the Sheikh earn? How much does the. This charity of so and so is pocketing money. So and so using religion to make money. Allah, I find that you find most often it's them. It's them who are doing that. But to just jump to these conclusions with no evidence and just talk about everyone like that. Allah, this is something that some people should not. Some people should really, really monitor themselves and judge themselves a little bit more. Is their iman really in the right place? And then they call it calling. You got to call it out. Call it out with what? You haven't even, it's not even substantiated. You're just going on. You've saw a couple, you've seen a couple of clips, you've heard a couple of things. You don't even know the person. You've just gone out to call them a corrupted, dirty person. Many, many times we get it wrong. But you see people and then they say religion tells us we have to command good and prohibit evil. Do you even know what you're talking about? 99%. You're just attacking people oppressively. Some religious people with their bad character will have bad treatment of their spouses and family, inappropriate conduct online and other misconduct in dealing with people. Some will appear like they are championing and passionately using the voice of truth and justice only when it benefits them or does not harm their interest. But when it is against themselves or their wealth or personal benefit or interest or their family or their group that they belong to, they go silent in voicing the truth. And then some of them even twist and manipulate religious text or use verses and hadiths that suit him or her or even speak false. Some take their knowledge and their position or their reputation as a form of superiority above others and entitlement rather than it being for the sake of Allah first and in accordance with Allah's guidance. Some of them will get involved in religious or beneficial work only if he or she sees a benefit of them for themselves, otherwise they never take part. Some of them will have will be bad to their family and children. Stingy while having a lot of money, looking for tiniest religious faults and jumping into reprimanding and opposing this person with the worst of manners and character and painting all non practicing people with the same brush. This is double standards and the vice versa is true. A minority among non practicing Muslims as well also have the double standards. They carry a secret dislike for religious people whether these religious people are honest or not. And then they follow and look for any kind of slip that a religious person does or posts and and they jump on us as we told you why? To justify their own wrongdoing and continue what they're doing. They get happy when some of them get happy when a religious person does something wrong. Some of them get happy when someone posts something bad about a religious person what they did. Some of them love to paint all religious people with the same brush and make fun of religious looks. And those who practice the Sunnah, worse even some of them start to justify remaining non practising and being around irreligious lifestyles and relationships because they say well I'd rather be here than with these religious people. But really they're just really fooling themselves and making up stuff. But when a non religious person does the same mistake or sins, they find every excuse for them and say don't judge we really who knows? You know, I'm not judging anybody myself. I'm talking in general. Those who get upset now with this, what I just said, it means they're judging themselves. So I'm not pointing to any. I'd point to myself before anyone. Brothers and sisters Wallahi. It's good. It's important to push the red buttons and to really analyze ourselves before the time that we meet Allah comes and it's really for our own benefit. Allah says in the Quran, verily, those who love that indecency should spread among the believers deserve a painful chastisement in the world and the hereafter. Allah knows, but you do not know. One more misconception, just to remind you. You should not judge a person's good character as the ultimate sign of being religious while knowing they are publicly sinful and display religious shortcomings and vice versa. We should not judge a person's outward religiosity as a definite sign of their good character or high expectations. When you want to get to know someone, especially for relationship and marriage, brothers and sisters, please do your due diligence in studying and asking and seeking advice, even doing a marriage course, learn what we're supposed to be looking for. It's not enough just to say, oh, Mashallah, he's got that beard to die for, or that, you know, hijab to make me melt, or masha', Allah, his voice in the Quran is just mesmerizing. You know, they think they're gonna go into the marriage and that's all he's gonna be doing. I mean, reciting Quran day and night, and she's just mesmerized, and that's not gonna happen like that. Or a sister who Masha', Allah, you know, she's gonna take me to Jannah. It doesn't work like that. My brothers and sisters, yes, spouses help each other, but you got to do your due diligence that you got religion, which is a good character. Alhamdulillah, it means that a person who fears Allah when you remind them of Allah, when they do something wrong, they're more likely to say, khalas, I hear and obey Alhamdulillah. And they don't get pride if their wife reminds them or their husband reminds them. That's more likely. But you also got to study their upbringing, their character, their childhood, the family they come from, what kind of environment they are. Look at their social media page, see what kind of ask about them, their friends, and take your time, you know, because when you interview someone, you sit down, talk to that one person, you're not really going to know enough about them. Many people fall into that mistake. But once you get into the family business and family research and then they help you and investigate and you start getting to the serious things, a lot of things start popping up. Self entitlement, what we call now, I don't like calling it, throwing it around, you know, narcissism and all that. Traits of all that stuff, or traits of Some irregulated emotions, these all start popping up. So religion doesn't itself fix necessarily mean that it's fixed everything unless you work towards it. So my final and conclusion is how to improve our character. I'll give you just eight simple guidelines and you can work on them. Number one, the first place to start is to find a way to increase your knowledge about the rewards and the consequences of bad character. That can be a motivator. What are the rewards in having good character in certain things that you want and what are the consequences? Learn about them because then fearing the outcome can help you focus and anticipating the rewards, even the rewards in worldly gain, insha Allah, or the consequence in worldly gain, can be a motivator. Number two, mindfulness. What does mindfulness mean? It means when you sit down by yourself and you reflect on yourself, you really think about what you did in the day and how you interacted and what you did. Identify and reflect daily on your actions and ask yourself, why did I act the way that I acted? Really talk this up. Maybe even journal. Like just, just, even if it's a few sentences, just say today I did this. I want to work on that. The mind starts to re channel to think in that direction, even if you just read it and look at it. Number three, talk to yourself. Like really just move your mouth even if you look crazy. But nowadays everybody's got their earpods in, everyone looks crazy. So you're okay, just go in and just talk to yourself. You're in the car, you're in whatever, say to yourself, I will be doing that. No, you should not do. Give yourself mawidah. Like preach to yourself. Do you know it works to a certain extent, it has an effect. Number four, make an intentional deliberate goal to work on that bad character that you have. Choose one. Choose one and make an intentional goal to work on that particular character. Number five, be easy on yourself and try again. Repetition will help. Sometimes it's very hard to change it overnight. It takes sometimes weeks, months, some people even years. But work on one by one, insha'. Allah. The idea is to get better even if you can't be perfect. Number six, Apologize and make it up to people that you've wronged. If it involved wronging people, just humble yourself, learn how to be humble and learn how to just let go. And going up to the person and just say I do apologize, man, I didn't know wallahi. That helps. Number seven, learn from your mistakes, which means take responsibility. It's so liberating to take Responsibility number eight. Try to be around good influence. Observe them, learn from them. I said eight, didn't I? So it's nine. Nine. Allow yourself to try humbleness. See what's the worst. Like what's the worst that can happen if you just humbled yourself. If I spoke about you, let's say online and somehow Allah directed you to see that comment and you go, what? That's Sheikh Bilal, my neighbour. Why that dirty whatever? And then I find out I can either get arrogant, say I don't care, or I can go and I say, man, I got caught. But you know what? I gotta make it up to them because Allah is gonna judge me. Maybe this is a lesson for me. Maybe this is what Allah is showing me. Go humble myself. Even if the guy had a go at me, I'll say, you know what? I deserve it. Try humbleness for a change. But you know, when you truly are in the wrong, it helps you a lot. Inshaallah I ask Allah subhana wa ta' ala to make us among those of high character. May Allah subhana wa ta' ala make us aware of ourselves. May Allah guide us to that which is best in this dunya and in the hereafter. May Allah subhana wa ta' la make us among those who are included in the ummah of the Prophet. Sallallahu alaihi wasallam in this world and in paradise and make us among the dwellers of Jannah Muhammad.
Topics Covered
character of a Muslim
Prophet Muhammad role model
importance of good character
Islamic teachings on anger
pardon and forgiveness in Islam
high character virtues
Quran teachings on character
hadith on character
strengthening character through faith
guidance from Allah
best character in Islam
control of emotions
benefits of good character
Islamic perspective on conflict resolution
character development in Islam