Technology
Old Blue Eyes
In this episode of 'Old Blue Eyes', the chaos of wedding planning unfolds as characters navigate love, expectations, and the looming presence of Frank Sinatra. Amidst humorous exchanges and ...
Old Blue Eyes
Technology •
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Interactive Transcript
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出iquenta
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Love it makes no goddamn sense
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You can be head over heels with somebody swear up and down there. You're so mate
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Be ready to follow them to the ends of the earth and then look back later and think is it her?
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Or did she just make a really good casserole?
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I think it's true what they say that no man is an island because islands they put
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Like I like me. I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow
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Where my head's gonna be at so how am I supposed to say I do when you don't even know if I do
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Well back in 75 two people had it figured out all right and they were
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Mr. and Mrs. Frank Sinatra lucky girl, huh?
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Imagine writing that name on your checks. Well, maybe she'll write Mrs. Barbara Sinatra since she's a separate human being
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I doubt it. Hey, what's for breakfast?
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Serial listen, I have been calling venues all week for the wedding melly and the only dates are in July
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Imagine swimming down the aisle in that heat
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My flower bouquet is gonna be one giant cactus. Oh that reminds me flowers for Frank dinner
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Well since you don't seem too concerned about picking a date
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What if we just get married on Friday this Friday or or better yet? How's tomorrow? Does that work for you? Yeah?
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Yeah, yeah, whatever you like, sweetie and instead of you at the altar
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I'll kiss Ricky that cute new valet who's been giving me the eye
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Do you like that too? Oh?
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That sounds super
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All right have fun kid plan your fairy tale every bit of it. Just don't spend a penny
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha
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Some fairy tale
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Mrs. Carol Haver the unemployed actress
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Used to be a Chinese restaurant. Yeah plenty of space high ceilings. It's ready for moving right away
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But I don't recall your time frame mister
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Harry Mouse and this is my partner Javier business partner
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Right, okay. Well, I'll let you look around
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We're opening a gay bar. Don't you think he knows we're both fairies?
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No, we said it was a social club and by the way, I hate that word would you prefer?
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I don't even know why I'm here Harry. This was such a crazy idea crazy enough. It might work, Havillina
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Now you're right. We technically can't open a gay bar
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But no one gives a better wink wink nudge nudge than I do I
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Practically invented it. I can't leave you know Mel will kill me you got him Frank might as well go out on a high
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How can he be mad when he got all he ever wanted? I guess I could catch him in a good mood
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That's what I'm saying now come look at the men's room with me. I say we put a trophy. Oh, I'm kidding
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Can you believe it Brian? He's gonna walk in that door any minute. Yeah, I know
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I was here last time he walked in and you keep putting salt in that wound
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Hey, should I ask how his mother dolly is doing or really think it's strange that I know and don't answer that he's almost here. Hey Mel
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Please I'm still running a restaurant
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Mr. Sinatra at long last I good afternoon gentlemen. I'm Hildey Mr. Sinatra Secretary
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He's prepared a list of requirements for this Friday's dinner. I recommend you review them thoroughly
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Well, first of all hello. I take it. He's a good cop. You're bad
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Precisely now all of these requests are of the utmost importance
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So if you're unable to grant them I'll start finding an alternative location now
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No, no, no, no, no, no, geez
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You're tough. I
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Can vouch personally that we have every item on this list super
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Oh, and one last thing there will be no photography allowed whatsoever
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Mr. Sinatra and Ms. Marsh will be taking photos before the event so yeah
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No
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Photographs because I was hoping to memorialize the occasion. It's a big night for us too
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And I'd hate for you to lose it over a picture
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You weren't kidding about bad cop. Thank you, man. We'll be sort of take it from here
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I'll save you some champagne at the party. I don't drink
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Try to scene that one coming hand on my heart Brian. I am getting a picture with Frank Sinatra
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Even if I have to deal with her
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I've noticed the hedges by villain number four are much too overgrown
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I'm going to speak to mail about it tops. I'm sorry, but can't we handle that after this dinner?
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We are swamp the world doesn't stop spinning just because two socialites get married
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I know that but this is big for us and male has important stuff to focus on
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Have you either of you ever seen gray caviar all the time?
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I ate it in the bath last night this list from Frank. I
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Haven't heard of it. Oh my god. This is gonna put me in an early grave. I can help you sir
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I can get my hands on whatever you need no no. I need you here. I'll send Larry and skip
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Skip send Grocio and Harpo out for caviar. What good go wrong?
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It's a crack in boss man. Boys. I've got a long list of things I need and two heads are better than one
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Usually, this is gonna cost don't worry about the cost. Mr. Hayber
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I've seen the budget Mr. Sinatra so she provided and I'm looking at this list and one of these things is not like the other
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Well, I've added a few touches of my own, but everything is essential. Whoa a ship
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My turn mind you sir that any overages come out of your pocket
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Meaning the hotels and margins are tight enough as it is. All right, we can scrap the film
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I am perfectly aware of what I'm doing babs
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We need to blow Frank out of the water now you boys take my credit card and you take your time be thorough
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Find that gray caviar
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And if you aren't backed by four I'll knock your teeth out. God is an abl four o'clock
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Ingles I didn't how may I help you? Hey handsome. It's your benefactor. Hello
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Sir, were you inquiring about availability?
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Ah, got it. You're not alone. This is a yes or no. Should I put down payment on the place?
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The guy just called set a ton of other people looking at it. I'm not sure if that room will be open at that time
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Harvey come on that place is perfect. You know it is now or never, baby
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Yes
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Yes, I believe I can book that for you. I knew I could count on you angel. I'm gonna call him right now. It tonight
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We drink champagne
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Ah a new guest I'll mark them down the last name. Oh
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Shoot I forgot to get their name. That's generally helpful. I'll call them back. Just give me a minute
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Hi, Emily. I thought I would go for a swim
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If anyone needs me. Whoa my honey
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Where did you get that bathing suit? That qualifies as a whole bathing suit. She looks incredible. Do you
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Need any help with the sunscreen or anything? Oh no, I should be fine. I'm working on my tan lines
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But you could come watch though
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If you two will excuse me
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So what he gets a pool day while we cross off his to-do list let him go, babs. We need him in a good mood
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Why's that? Because it makes life a hell of a lot easier, right? I'll not agree
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Oh, it's out of here, huh? I'm practically glistening. Yeah, really are
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Do you think anyone would mind if I undid this bikini? I'll flip over
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I will personally see to it that there are no problems. Thank you, sweetie
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And while I do that, maybe you could go through these bridal magazines
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You go through what? Oh just these magazines. I finally narrowed down the flowers just
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Wanted you to choose between Cala lilies and Cala lilies. That's what Frank's assistant wanted. I couldn't find them anywhere
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Oh for Christ's sake, Mel. I am so sick of hearing about Frank. What? What are you talking about?
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Well, so he's saying my way who cares? My dad does that every time he drinks too much
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Okay, what's going on sweetheart? You are having a great time
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Tanning I am your fiance Mel and I had to do a strip tease to get you to even look at me
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I swear you think it's Frank that you're marrying
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Oh my god the pool what what what what what's going on the pool level it's training
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This is a disaster. He can't see this. Mel. He is coming here for a rehearsal dinner not to take a swim
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What if he takes a stroll and he sees a massive hole in the ground
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Everything needs to be perfect Carol. What is it gonna take to get that through your skull?
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Wow
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Don't worry. I heard you this time Mel
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Loud and clear what a carol carol honey. No come on. I'm sorry
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Let me call the pool guy and we can talk about this. It'll just take a minute. Oh no take your time
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Good luck with that party
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Yeah
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insult the injury
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Table of events chair covers table numbers check check check and napkins you use the nodded fold right because they're tying the nod get it
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Brian get it
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Yes, Mel I get it and we all laughed when you said it three minutes ago
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Well can't hurt to triple check or quadruple check
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Quintuple
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Salad appetizer and main cutlery arranged outside in that's a good idea. Yes. Just like we always do it. It's perfect
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Right now are you sure we should not be positive Mel listen, why don't you go out stark reading the gas please
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Not before my big speech. Oh good. You're doing a big speech. Oh
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That's you and Javier step over here real quick. I got to make a toast
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Listen
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If you go on too long
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I'm gonna have Jimmy play you off
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Just like they should do at the Oscars
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Haha, it's good. It's very cute except I write both of your paychecks
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Mr. Hayback we don't have much time here. I know. I know. I'll just be a minute. Javier you get in here too
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Don't be shy. I've also got some things to come on you people let me give you a compliment
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I just want to say
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This is a big night for me
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For us, hmm? I've made no attempt to hide just how big a fan I am a
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Francis Albert Sinatra
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Born December 12 now boss. I need to remind chef to try to just very quickly
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It's time-sensitive. We got a long road ahead together and I wouldn't do it with any other team
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You you all right there, Javier? Yes sir just something in my throat. I know. I'm emotional too pal
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Bring it in here. Come on team hotdle
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Everybody
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Say it with me
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table
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Well good to know we're all on the same page now if we could just of course no of course that you get to it
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I'll wait by the valet Frank should be here any minute to look things over
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Daha! Here he is. I guess the order
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Mr Sinatra at long last
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Eating Mr. Hayback
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Healthy for me twice shame on me
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Mr Sinatra is going to be a bit late this evening. He said me to make sure everything's in order
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A bit late
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How how how how later are we talking? I've learned to stop asking
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The flowers look good. I see you found the Kallalili's yes that we did. He'll be now out. Oh is that a
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giant ice sculpture? I did take the liberty yes, but um and you've completely redone the curtains
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Well, I wanted to spruce things up
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Is this the caviar? Oh yes ma'am feel free to have a taste it's
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Black and white
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God damn it Laurie skip
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I'm aware that black and white make gray but not in every circumstance. No of course I
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Well, I and I do believe I was quite clear in my instructions
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So why exactly it's an old to New York
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Yep
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Yep my old stomping grounds and and and Frank's too
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Black and white like like like the cookies instead of regular old gray caviar
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We thought we'd try something clever, you know nostalgic a male haibers signature
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He'll love that oh
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I never say this Mr. Haiber, but good idea
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Now if I could just sample each of the dishes being served we got somebody's hungry, huh?
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Haha
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I'm I'm kidding of course Brian will walk you through the menu
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Babs are we all set I believe so sir as soon as you explain to me why there's a pool repair man staying in our
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night is filler the guy couldn't fix the league before the party I told him I put him up so we could keep it full all night
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Ah
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Well next time you want to send us into the red I can just start a bonfire out the bath and burn
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our money
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Mal chili Rizzo we met last week came in for lunch Mr. Rizzo how could I forget we dance the tarantella
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Yeah, sorry about that share I broke I get a little excitable. Oh no are you kidding I owe you my life
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You turn Frank on to our little spot
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I don't suppose you know when he's gonna show do you that lug gifted his fiance a brand new rose
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Then of course, brobber wanted to take it out for a joyride
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The dealer was late dropping off
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You should have seen the look on his face when the things didn't go perfectly to plan. He was for you man
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He's
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He's a he's a particular guy. Yes, isn't he put it this way the dealers exploring other career options now
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But hey, hey, don't worry. I'm sure he'll love your body. What when he gets here
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Well, thanks, jilly. It's such a doll for for putting me up to this anytime
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Hey, you don't come here
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You don't know my name from now on you got it you remember the plan got all up here
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Uh-huh you want to relay it back to me? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course so you're
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You're seeing your friend and Larry I'm gonna create a version and then pop up
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Is gonna snap the picture of you with Frank and if anyone asks we work for the tabloids
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Perfect now Frank needs to be very distracted apparently the man has a little bit of a temper
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So if he has any clue what's going on we're all in big trouble
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Boss are you sure it's worth it then to get a picture? Yes, hey you two in the vests
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Does he mean no him again? No, not you two that's those two guys walking up let me if I didn't know any better
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I'd say you were members of the press
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We are national inquire we were hoping we could come in and take a few pictures
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Gentlemen gentlemen. No, you cannot this is private property
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I am the owner of this establishment and if you don't make like a tree
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I'll be dragging you out of here by the tips of your dicks
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Yeah, yeah, what he said yeah, all right. Well, we are leaving message received have a pleasant evening
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You know how Frankie is about photographs. Oh
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Boy do I
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Lucky you saw those guys first or I would have I would have ripped their scum so for my bare hands. Hey
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No need the big gruesome. It's a celebration
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Oh, hey, Mel that didn't sound too good for us. I told you
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We are getting the photograph you do the diversion. He won't even notice
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Yeah, but the bad guy said I'm headman side. I'm a very busy man
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Mel can you believe this that's Sami Davis Jr
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You better believe it kid
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We've come a long way since we threw our only waiter up there. We really have
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Like the end of an era. No, don't be silly. Have he?
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It's just the beginning
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That's what I meant
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Well, thank you very much
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What a thrill to be here the last time anyone spent this much on denim was on the Titanic and we all know how that went
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Well listen folks. It's my honor to present the main event
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Let's give a warm welcome to the future mister and Mrs Frank Sinatra
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You better get on up here Frank. He's here
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Did you see him come in? No, I've been on the front all night. No sign of him Brian. What the frankin here
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He just slipped into the kitchen boss scared chef after death. How did he? He'll be took a break from her sample feast to do a little security tour
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She must have told them about the kitchen door
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He really is a pro, huh?
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Folks, I want to thank you all for coming out
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And I especially want to thank my friend Sami for kicking things off tonight. Hey man
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What makes Frank Sinatra so special? I can't put my eye on it
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My Sammy we both know you can't prove that
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But seriously it means so much to see all you friendly faces out there and an extra special thank you to Mel Haber
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Owner melvans his entire staff tonight. No, that's you. I could tell they went above and beyond and I've been in here for five minutes
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My pop could see me right now honey
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He wouldn't believe it. I'm proud of your male really
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Oh, I meant to ask you where's Carol oh she's um
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She she must be of course. I can't help but toast my beautiful Barbara
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Barbara and I have a special bond
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The kind of bond that keeps me going when I feel like giving up
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She supports me in everything and I don't know what I did to deserve her generosity her love
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I can think of a lot of reasons I don't deserve
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I
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Don't ever want to go another day without you by my side
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And now I don't have to I love you Barbara
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And now if you're all indulge me a little something for my sweetheart
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I've been around
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Seen a bit of this so world
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From town to town
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Some about become unfurl
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There's something about wedding toasts even the sweetest ones and Frank's was as sweet as they get
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They have a way of making you feel like crap
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You think sure but what she really like or yeah good for you pal, but I never found it
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But as I stood there staring at a man who had everything in the world
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All the fame and fortune you could imagine
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He loved her more than all of it
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Even the Sultan of swoon needed a copilot
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So why shouldn't I have one why wouldn't I marry Carol she'd been in my corner every day
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cheering me on through con men and born stars and property taxes
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She was a solid a girl as a schmuck like me could hope for
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And as much as I wanted to stay in that dining room and soak up Frank and his VIPs
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This gave me important business to attend to I'll be right back. What Frank Sinatra is singing
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Carol hi Mal. Hey there you are sweetheart. I thought you were coming to the party. I thought I was too
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Are you all right? I am. I'm good actually
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I'm really good. I I got dressed up
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I did my hair and makeup and then I went to walk over to Melvin's but
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My feet just wouldn't carry me. I just
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I just got stuck here, but I didn't mind it
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What are you injured? You want me to gallantly carry you to bed?
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Believe me Mel if I wanted a prince I would have stayed in Malibu. Well, what is it sweetheart? I
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Look, I know I owe you an apology
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I've given so much energy to this dinner. I've been
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I've been in considerate of you
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We've got our own wedding the plan and now that this is behind me
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I can focus on you 100% I don't want to go another day without you by my side Carol
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I am so excited for you to be my wife. Oh, Mel. No, you aren't
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What? Of course I am
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Mel it's okay. I'm not angry
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All this time that we've been together. I was trying to force something that wasn't meant to be
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You said from day one that you weren't the marrying type and I liked it
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You were an adventure my Everest to climb if I could just get you to settle down
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I could prove to my parents my friends my jobs that I didn't book that I must be something special
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I could pin down the unpinable and you did it
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Melie let me finish oh
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I got so wrapped up and conquering you I stopped asking myself if it's what I even wanted
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And I've got this life ahead of me. I'm young. Hey, I'm on the younger side too and I'm fucking talented
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I forgot how much I loved singing I want to keep exploring myself in the world and go cliff diving and date all different kinds of men
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Whoa whoa whoa now now you're just rubbing it in. I don't want to weigh you down, Melie
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It's time we set each other free. We can be free together
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That's what you do when you're in love you are in love, Mel
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But not with me what with you Frank no honey the angle side
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You should go back to the party you deserve it
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I'm gonna go pack up my things
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All different kinds of men
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She's
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Mel there you are things are going so good a friend of Frank's a senator said he's gonna bring his whole family back for vacation
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Mr. Hiba we've had all kinds pouring over to the lobby
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Everyone wants to check in
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Yeah, well that's that's good and listen you need to meet Frank before he goes
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He he looked like he was ready to leave but I kept him here for you. I wanted to make up for last time
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Mel the man of the hour we finally meet oh my
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The man of the hour me no you're you're the one you're
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Hi, hi, I'm Mel. I was told you'd be a little excited. Hey, did you both have a good time tonight? Everything look all right
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It was perfect now really oh good good good. That's that's good
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Wow, they went kidding about you being a fan
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Yeah, no no no it's not that it's wow yeah, it's partly that but
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It's the classic story Frank. I mean mr. Sinatra. I
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I finally opened my heart to the woman I love tonight inspired by you too, but
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I was too late. Oh sorry to hear that Mel. Yeah tough break kid. Yeah, no kid
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You should you should write a song about it
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Believe me. I have about 20 of them, but you'll bounce back especially when you see those headlines tomorrow
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I've a feeling you'll be a very busy guy. Well, thanks both of you that that that means a lot
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If you meet any gorgeous songbirds with a soft spot for saloon owners who uh you can send them my wife
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Let me show you that that gorgeous rolls Royce. I excuse me. Do you know the way to the nearest drugstore?
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Uh, I beg your pardon. Oh, look at him. Don't look at me
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Hey, it's the twins
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Come back here
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Give me that you side show freaks. Julie just let him go no chance boss. This is my exercise
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Sorry about that Mel. Julie's a good guy. Just a little
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Excitement he used that word too, but don't apologize. I'm sorry for those awful
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awful paparazzi found their way in here
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After all the security I hired welcome to the spotlight now better get used to it
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Hi, mr. Haiber. Did you get to see Frank off? Yep. Said everything was perfect. That's so great
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But you don't seem too happy you should be celebrating. No, I'm not sure I'm up for that right now, honey
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Didn't you want to speak to me about something? Oh
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Well, we don't have to discuss it now
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Hey, what the hell else am I doing? I just got dumped lay it on me
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As long as you aren't leaving me too. I don't think I could take it
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No, I just wanted to say
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Thank you for your speech tonight. I feel really
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appreciated well, I meant it buddy
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Clearly I take people for granted sometimes I can't more about this hotel than the people in it, but
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You're pretty special
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And you mean a lot to this place. I can't imagine it without you
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Well
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Cheers to that
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Inglesidean have you're speaking? Ah just who I was hoping to reach. How does it feel to be a free man?
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Um, I oh he's right there isn't he you did break the news to the old man, didn't you?
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Did he take it hard if you're looking for a fun night out? I can recommend Lord Fletcher's they make a really stiff martini
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Ah, I'm picking up with your foot down. Okay. I'll meet you there in an hour
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Yes, sir fabulous tonight. We celebrate
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What are you working for Lord Fletcher's now you want to be my competition?
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No, no, of course
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Sorry, I must be tired. Oh
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You beautiful beautiful heroes. I'm sorry. I couldn't interfere the position I was in with
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Please tell me please please
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That he did not take the camera
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Well
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He took my camera, but on the one who got the shot
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You two I could kiss you. Havier, start looking for frames. We're gonna hang Frank and I right here in the lobby
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Now could I just grab the uh
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Sorry, sorry, sorry just the camera. Oh my shoulder. You know what this means right boys
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Every day since I opened the hotel I've been waiting to take this picture and you helped me
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Now let's see what we got
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You didn't by chance forget to load the film did you skip all the film?
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Oh
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I wonder if this camera would sit right up your
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You
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Bedtime stories of the Ingolside Inn is an audio up Landsbass production and sugar 23 production
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starring Jason Alexander, Brian Jordan Alvarez, Celia Emory, Michael McKean,
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Missy Pyle, Richard Kind and Landsbass
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With additional roles performed by David Keckner, Justin Tranter and Nicole Sullivan
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Created and executive produced by Landsbass and Jared Goodstack
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executive producers Mike Mayer, Michael Sugar, Drupakorni, Windy Schvaleck and Autumn Havre
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Produced by Zach Sallowen and Jordana Glick Frantime
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Written by Laura Ramada and Ryan Wilson
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Based on the book by Mel Havre, bedtime stories of the legendary Ingolside Inn and Palm Springs
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Directed by Mike Mayer and Drupakorni with additional direction by Zach Sallowem
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edited sound design and mixed by Jonathan Strickland
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Original music by Jared Goodstack, Jeff Peters, Jesse Siebenberg and the audio chateau
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Bedtime stories of the Ingolside Inn is an audio up and serious XM project
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Listen to the original soundtrack wherever you stream your music