Comedy
Moonwalking Departures & A Restaurant Battle Royale - Comedy Podcast
In this hilarious episode of the Spitballers Podcast, Andy, Mike, and Jason tackle absurd life advice and engage in a whimsical debate about kicking doors open versus moonwalking out of rooms. The tri...
Moonwalking Departures & A Restaurant Battle Royale - Comedy Podcast
Comedy •
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Interactive Transcript
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What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and
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give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?
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It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy Mike and Jason.
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That is not fair.
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You can't bring instruments to the sky.
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I'm glad you liked it because that was so bad.
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Dude, that was terrible.
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You brought a horn to a mouth party.
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It was terrible.
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It was terrible.
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I don't think it was.
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Andy, how did you feel about that?
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I liked it a lot.
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I didn't like the volume.
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I wish you had been louder.
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No, I wish you had been louder.
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It was a muted trumpet.
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How do you feel about it now?
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You had the thing on the arm.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Now that you reinterpreted it, it's fine.
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Welcome to the Spitballers.
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Somehow, episode 342.
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Jeremy's note.
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The notes were extra jazzy.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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That's what I meant, Jeremy.
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See, Jeremy, I know.
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Yeah, I know.
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Self-awareness.
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That's good.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait.
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You're saying it's all as bad?
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Well, that's a nice way of saying he chose some very outside the box notes there.
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Okay.
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I was like, you need to guess.
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So like what, what, a lot of people don't realize is in American music, like we have
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our scale of notes.
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And there are other scales that include like semi tones and...
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Jeremy.
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I'm with you, brother.
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What are you so, Jeremy?
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So there, and which ones did you hit?
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I hit the semi.
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I hit the semi tones.
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I was, I was living in the notes with inside the notes.
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All right.
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If you want to talk about jazz, let's change the subject here.
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All right.
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What is today's date?
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We're recording it, you know, whatever.
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You're going to listen whenever.
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But as of this recording, we're recording on October 1st.
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That's right.
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Which means Christmas music came out last night.
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I'm doing dishes.
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No, Jason.
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No, Jason.
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No, it didn't.
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But you guys will understand this.
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You will understand this October 1st.
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October 1st.
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It was awesome.
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It was awesome.
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You, you'll understand this.
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You'll understand this.
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All three of us are good.
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We had delivered a special edition vinyl to our houses
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of the Charlie Brown Christmas music.
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That is true.
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We just received, and we ordered a month ago.
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I saw it on Twitter, and I was like, hey, the guys would love
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this, so I posted it.
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And we all pre-ordered it.
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We all got it.
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And we all got it.
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Even though I already had it, apparently.
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Sure.
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But you have this one.
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Anybody want one?
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This one's a pictograph.
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I don't know what you call it.
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It's a nice, cool picture.
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It is awesome.
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And I put it on, and I rocked it so loud last night.
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I'm not doing this.
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Unacceptable.
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What?
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Andy, you can't be the one.
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If I'd probably brown Chris, I'd accept.
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Well, you are like Mr. Charlie Brown.
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The music is great.
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I don't know how to take that.
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That's an insult.
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If you bought a Christmas tree that's a good deal in July,
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you don't just put it up when you get it.
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I mean, did you just fall on your chair?
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Yeah, a little bit.
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Let's, we'll move on.
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Would you rather a game of baller dash and a new
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battle royale today on the show?
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Very excited.
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This is episode 342.
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We are getting close to having an episode for every day.
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My phone was going off.
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Sorry, everybody.
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Your computer was going on.
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Every day of the year.
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Good.
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Good.
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This is going great.
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Sorry, everyone.
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How were those jazz notes on that computer?
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Those were good.
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Those were inside the normal range of acceptable notes.
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Are normal scales?
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Thank you.
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That was fine.
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That's for another podcast, Jason.
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A boring podcast.
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Mm hmm.
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Would you rather...
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Briel from X says,
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Would you rather have to enter every room by kicking the door open
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dramatically?
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Pretty cool.
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Or leave every room by moonwalking out.
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Also cool.
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I would start the conversation of how good is your moonwalk?
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Let's say both of these are good.
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I assumed you learned it.
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You know how to really do it.
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Yeah, you know.
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No, no, no, no.
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You're moving.
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Okay, okay.
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Your moonwalk is what your moonwalk is right now.
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Oh, it's pretty.
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Oh, man.
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I feel so good and it looks so bad.
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I think that is a tremendous answer.
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Yeah.
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That's how my moonwalk is.
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I love thinking I'm doing it.
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Yeah, I feel like I'm crushing it.
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And then I see it.
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So I want to give my other six.
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I'm rickety, herky.
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I want to give myself a six.
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I really do.
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Let's see it.
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Well, I'm.
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No, no, no, no.
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This is way it wouldn't play here.
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I'll show you afterwards.
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You know where it's really good?
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Bowling alley.
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Oh, well, of course.
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The floor is so slick.
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It's funny because I really do think I can moonwalk.
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Okay, not like, oh, look, I'm a dancer.
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I can do this.
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Like, I'm going to go out and record and public and people are going to be like,
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whoa, look at that.
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I don't have that.
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But I feel like I could do a pretty good moonwalk.
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But after Andy said, I feel like I can do a good job, but it's not.
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I think that's probably.
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Yeah, it's great for all of us.
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If I do I get to do a spin and then moonwalk out?
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I feel like that's essential for me.
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I allow that.
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If I could spin and moonwalk out, that's my choice.
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Spin then moonwalk.
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Spin then moonwalk.
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And you're better at a moonwalk.
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I just feel like if I'm facing you, we're having a conversation.
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It's time for me to leave.
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I'm not just going to moonwalk.
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You're going to moonwalk towards me.
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No, it's a full 360.
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And then I moonwalk out.
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All right.
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Are you doing an MJ kick?
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Yes.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I'm kind of getting into the kick.
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My hamstrings too tight.
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The forward.
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Can you do the hack?
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Oh, wait.
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I'm just kicking the door down.
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It's going to be a problem for you too.
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Oh, I can still kick.
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MJ does a forward kick, but he also does a hacky sack.
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Oh, I know what you're talking about.
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Yeah.
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My leg is not very.
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For either of them.
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The deck's.
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The deck's.
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The deck's.
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I think that I could kick a door down.
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I want hamstring between the both of his legs.
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Here's the thing.
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Here's a.
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Here's a difference so that people listening.
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And they're like, what are you talking about?
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Your hamstrings type for a kick, but you can kick the door down.
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If I kick a door down, I can lean my back back.
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And I can smush that door.
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Okay.
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But if you're doing an MJ kick, you're standing straight up.
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Yeah.
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And that kick is like, look.
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Your toe is very pointed.
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I can't do that.
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It better be pointed.
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My toe is six inches off the ground if I'm standing straight up.
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Okay.
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So that's not a moonwalk kick for me.
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I do think kicking a door open when you come inside is awesome.
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You could hit somebody, but could be a problem.
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You can break the door.
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You can hit people.
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It makes you automatically aggressive as opposed to just awesome and cool.
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Even if you're going for awesome and cool and it's not aggressive,
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sometimes you don't want to be awesome and cool.
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Right.
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You walk in the funeral.
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You're like a boom or you like your kids parent teacher conferences.
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Oh, yeah.
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Boom.
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How daddy's here.
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What if after you do the kick, though, you do a.
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Buy boom, baby.
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Huh.
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It's better.
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Huh.
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It's not worse.
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Is it less or more awkward?
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Less awkward.
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Wait.
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I don't think the boom baby is really in,
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I was going.
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I was going with um, Um, Inpor is new group.
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Is you,
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What if it was Heyo?
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Let's take the parent teacher doctor.
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I liked that better you like let go,
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again.
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Okay.
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Whatever you you can choose your catch phrase, but you have to have a daddy's home
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I don't think that's the one you're gonna want to go with but
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On the parent teacher conference. Let's be the teacher. Okay. Yeah security
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So I'm okay. I'm over here. I'm scribbling some notes. I'm waiting for my parents. Yep kicks the door in and
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Says
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Bubbub, baby. I think I'm in on that. It's probably been a boring day. So that's probably
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I'm in on a parent teacher conference that's gonna play a parent walks in okay. You sit down
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You have this great conversation. Okay, your kid
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It's not my best kid
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Tough combo. Yeah, not the worst kid not my best kid. Okay, your kid Mike your kid is
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Slowly below average, okay, you can miss in a couple of assignments, but it's really his attention and
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Hygiene so anyways you finish this
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Okay, you finish this parent teacher conference. Yeah, I'm the teacher. You're the teacher and then the parent gets up
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I'm just saying we are the teacher. Yeah, and then the parent gets up says thank you
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You get a hardy handshake and the
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Very cool
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Cool, it's so weird
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It's just a dad trying to do some funny. I had but after that part of the question after a bath
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Conference like it was a negative cover like your kid was awesome if it was like okay
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Your kid was the best and then he moon walks out like hey, this is a good time
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But if your kid was like hey, he's struggling. I'm doing something
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Moon walks out of be like well that kid's gonna be a loser
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When you enter when you make her with a kicked door
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Now the whole future is set up for let's be awesome
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Interesting I think I'm a kicked door guy. Yeah, I'm a moonwalk guy Mike split the difference I
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Feel like I mean in this particular
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Circumstance that we're talking about of the the teacher conference didn't go so well and
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You're not the worst and you're just like okay. Thank you. Thank you so much. You hit a spin move
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You hit a cross grab like he he and then you just moonwalk out and
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I'm the teacher. I think I'm more in on that than the kicking the door open
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Is that your vote then yeah, I'm in the cool one you guys were losers next question
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You get arrested Simon from patreon. Would you rather have to keep your toothbrush on the bottom of your sauna?
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Okay, that's where the fart's right the fart's that's the fart so no rinsing yep
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Or all your beverages have a strangers to gum in the bottom of oh
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See the big problem there's stranger. It's my farts versus a stranger's mouth
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Does Jason what what are your thoughts? Okay, I'm gonna be honest right now
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You don't need to be honest. I know you're doing I'm he's not listening. I'm not listening
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I heard it's my farts versus a stranger's mouth
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That's the only context I have the only context I have is it's my
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Farts versus a straight
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Working right now. What are you doing he was typing and I'm
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So slowly so you catch up with me the stranger's mouth. I'm gonna take my farts. Okay. My answer is my fart sign
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I'm not gonna be them the mouth. That's not to would you rather?
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Okay, so it's would you rather have your toothbrush kept at the bottom of your
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Doing over there. Okay, it was vigorously typing our
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texting I gotta be a traitor. No, it was I was texting our
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Mike and eyes
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stylus are are are are oh for your hair. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm leaving after this myself
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My youngest son my oldest I'm both my boys. We we're all going to get her hair
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Okay, so we're going to New York tomorrow for like a little family trip. Yeah, he just texted me out of the blue like
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Hey, you're my only clients today. Can I push you to next Friday?
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And I'm trying to tell him like work flying in New York tomorrow. We've been waiting. I need a haircut my boys
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Oh my goodness today. Yeah, I'm trying to explain that and then I hear my
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mouth so
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Finally, it's her my fart
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Well, okay, what was the question say it over would you wait? Let me send this to
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You'd rather have to keep your toothbrush on the bottom of your sauna without rinsing it
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It's the far zone. That's the fart sauna or all your beverages have a stranger's chew gum in the bottom of them
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I mean, that's the fart so it's the fart so I the that's strangers chew gum
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You're exposed to a different stranger every minute of every day
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I don't know if soda and carbonation whatever's in it would like nullify all the the risk the germs doesn't even matter
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I will smell my own farts anytime
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brushing my teeth with my own farts. I hate to break it to you
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But I learned this our last episode you're already doing it
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There's political in your toothbrush now that's already happened there's more at the bottom of the sauna
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There's a lot of like there's no more poop part. There's got to be more poop particles
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You don't poop in the sauna then poop particles when you fart. That's got to be a fact right can someone look this up?
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Okay, well, let me ask you this question. Okay, you're in a sauna. Okay, put yourself there
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I'm okay. Okay, you're sweaty, right? It's very hot here all all parts of you are sweaty
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It's wet even yes the part you poop with yes, right? Okay, and where where does the gravity go?
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Down it's juicy there. Okay
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but like you understand what I'm saying we understand what your sense of what part brushes down at the bottom
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You got the brush with sweat poop
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I'm not to be clear and you can't rinse it no to be clear
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This no liquid is hitting my toothbrush here in this part
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Okay, I know you're trying to get it to where it's a liquid wet part of the tooth
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You don't have sweat that pools at the bottom of your sauna. Thank you, Jeremy where your toothbrush
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I'm a little worried that I do oh you do that's what he's saying but it's not from my butt
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It's running down your whole body
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Where do you think I'm from your butt sweats part of the cumulative?
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So okay, all right, let me all put sweat is in there too
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My ear okay my sweat
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The toothbrush on the ground it's on the
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You're telling me I have to go bristles to the ground yeah at minimal on the side
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Fine, no it's everything. It's everything because my toothbrush
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It's it's it's not some great everybody half the world as a sonic
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I too brush has a side protector and did you know I switched to the electric finally?
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Son of care this question is done you're yeah, and it was so it was so ticklish for the first week I used it
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Are you are we are you hybrid you are you are you are you are you know I'm full sonic care water pick no water pick
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Oh brother baby steps you miss you had a chance I'll tell you this and it was right in front of you not a sponsor
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Don't care what toothbrush you use you can use a different like a toothbrush hold your crap my teeth are cleaner
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Yes, yes, yes, they worked really well how much did your gums bleed the first week?
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Well, I just seen the dentist so they had blood out the dentist and then they told me to go get an electric toothbrush
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So that's what I did dude, I'm just saying every time I change I feel like every time I get a new a new head on my
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Electro tooth oh, yeah, I realize I haven't been brushing my teeth. Oh, is that a real nice treat?
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How long do you know nice treat? How often you pivot in every six months after after my my bristles look like they're doing the
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Welp, oh, right they got the arms out going
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You don't tell you when you knew I'm not gonna brush these teeth. I don't know
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Hmm, you say you why and then you put a new one on and it's like you're brushing your teeth with a rock hammer
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I am so jealous
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Andy you get you get to take these steps so you went from the caveman toothbrush. Yeah, yeah to a
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1990s to
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I got from my kids too. Yeah, yeah, yeah the the modern toothbrush with the water pick
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It's right in front of you. I'm worried about me blasting my teeth off. No, no, you can control that day
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Wait Jason doesn't use that I've had it. I've gone back from it. Oh you are back to the 90s back to the 90s
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I'm back boy, but keep it soft Jason also bought a super fancy
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Flosser that's true, so he doesn't need the one
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Okay, okay, you still use your fancy fluster. Yeah, probably I'm not a sponsor
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So basically when you were starting the sentences like my toothbrush every
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Assumption I had from that point on is true
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No, you do have a fancy I mean you already have a fancy but flosser. No, no, no, I don't have a I have a fancy
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Flosser that is not my toothbrush right I don't have the flossing toothbrush my kids I have something way better than the
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Very rich city overseas in the Middle East Dubai Dubai is that where you're toothbrushes from?
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It's got to be so me and I hope so I want to go there and buy all of what they have you want to you don't even know how you know how you know how you sound anymore
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I
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Can't think I do and I'm sorry everybody the fact that you get to experience this you're saying that I know however long
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You want to do it. Yeah, and then you're gonna buy the water pick version of that cost on that
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Probably probably
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Sunk care. Sunk here's like 50 bucks. Oh
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You got a sheep son of care. Hey, I got good news for you. There's a lot better
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Son of care. There's another tier above the son of care. Oh, yeah, you got the kids of son of care
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No, no, I got it 50 points 50
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But what you find it on the side of the street is a garage sale
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About three of them for my
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Kid my kids in the
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Bo go
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Good it's great. It's $50
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Just go put your hand to toilet man switch it around it'll clean it. Are you serious? Yes, I'm serious wait
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I'm I'm better model there's like ten times better models brother
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Really yes, it's your teeth. I'm enjoying the one I have now that's great. It's not connecting
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4999
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So deliverable today between five and ten okay, well, I just link to you the one you need wait
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Is that what we roll with you? No, no, no, how did this be?
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I mean if you're gonna go Sonic this in the electric toothbrush episode. Yeah, what the heck is this all about is a diamond clean bro now
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That's not even the one with the pick no, but it's about the same price the diamond clean doesn't have a pick no
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No, why is it so much better? Why is it dying? Tell me about it
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Wait is that what you have no I have you have the dollar
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No, he doesn't nobody has a $50 on to you you have gone from the $5
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Disposable toothbrush to the $50 which seems like an electric which is great
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You went to the used car salesman and they were like hey, what are you interested in a toothbrush?
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And you're like yeah, I would love one gently use yeah, let me take you to the back
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We've got them back there we don't put those out on display. It's the normal Brian
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No, we have a couple there wasn't even a deal
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It's just always that cheap we got we go a couple a interrupt
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You guys again bamboozled and no my teeth are pristine
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That Dennis is you haven't been pretty dissimilar. I don't know how good they are gonna go when is your next dentist point of six months?
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Yeah, he's gonna be mad at you man. I got what they said told no you didn't know you didn't ask Papa Josh
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Okay, Papa Josh, would you get the cheapest electric toothbrush in existence?
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My entire family has the $50 ones that is exactly what I
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Feel worse now. Yeah, exactly you have Papa Josh's
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Toothbrush there is no one who would I mean that was exactly what you said we should have I actually
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We should have just folded the pop out Josh toothbrush when you said I got a $50 one
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We should have oh you got the pop of Josh one. Okay, that makes sense
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Now I had mine before Andy even got one. Oh for sure you got a I'm sure you got a deal on yours. He saved $299
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He's not black Friday with 30 bucks. I just thought this is the normal side. They all share one
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Their whole family it's you saved so much basically ten bucks a person man
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I'm gonna be straight up honest with you when I went I went from the dentist directly to target
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Okay, because they said get this and I'm like I clearly need it
spk_0
They're doing your gums and it's like a two a three a two. There's a couple fours in there first time ever wait
spk_0
I don't know what that means
spk_0
Yeah, they check all your gums and you know you don't go to the
spk_0
They've receded so you check that and they're like you need to get a sonicor so I go to target
spk_0
I'm going down the aisle and I see 4999 on my honest to God first thought was
spk_0
Wow, those are cheaper. Oh, yes, I was wondering which way you're going
spk_0
I was like wow I can get a couple like for the kids now
spk_0
I was worried you were gonna say oh my gosh those are expensive
spk_0
Oh, man, good for you good for you for seeing the kids have those wow pop a josh could get these your kids have those
spk_0
Yeah, you know much a cavity cost yeah
spk_0
They okay, all right. They were using the old schools before
spk_0
All right, I'm gonna just move straight on get it set it to tent set and forget set it to 10
spk_0
No, I'm gonna give you a chance to get a
spk_0
level 10 blast in the cavities away. Yeah, man Andy okay
spk_0
Get a grown up
spk_0
Sonic hair, which you don't have
spk_0
My god, and then get a pro and then get a pro claim and your teeth will be fantastic and that'll cost me what
spk_0
Do you want me to say that on air? I don't think I do okay?
spk_0
I think that's smart. We're gonna play a game now
spk_0
What time is it game time I feel like I've learned I
spk_0
Mean like that conversation so proud to tell you guys I got an electric one and I got
spk_0
Barry it like that conversation was electric it was so good and I feel like I learned
spk_0
Something honestly that if I'm ever go here like hey, I need to go get something new and I look at the and I'm in the aisle
spk_0
I go that's the one Josh would buy oh, yeah, I know I need to go two steps up
spk_0
Otherwise that I'm just I'm throwing my money in the garbage. Have you taken a look at Josh's teeth?
spk_0
The yes, I have
spk_0
Oh
spk_0
Man, oh man Josh I got three available sonic
spk_0
Apparently
spk_0
You know he's in just to scoop them up they're used right? Yeah, yeah
spk_0
You can switch the head on them. I still got two heads left
spk_0
So we're playing baller dash. We are giving five different prompts from five different categories
spk_0
We secretly gave our answers to Al prior to the show
spk_0
Yeah, we definitely did not publicly post them
spk_0
Jason you you know what if you keep guessing all the ones aren't mine you better guess my
spk_0
I'm telling you boy scouts on her. I did not see Jason your
spk_0
Idiot said this though. I didn't even know what happened. So I missed it
spk_0
I did I took all of my answers to this and instead of getting them to cheer me
spk_0
I gave them to our public slack channel for about
spk_0
45 seconds and so
spk_0
Y'all might know my answers. No, I promise you I do not but we're going to go ahead and Al's gonna read all of our answers back for each item along with the real answer
spk_0
And we're gonna try to identify the right answer and two points if you get the right answer
spk_0
One point if an opponent guesses the one that you submitted to try to trick everybody. So Al
spk_0
Let's kick this thing off already. We're gonna start with the weird word and that word is sisile
spk_0
That's how you say it. Yeah, of course. I'm guessing. I have no idea
spk_0
SCI
spk_0
I'm just saying that would have affected how I
spk_0
Gave my answer. How would you say scissors? I'm not gonna skissers
spk_0
I would not I want to call them scissors
spk_0
Yeah, that's fair
spk_0
Cisile is that is that what you're saying? What is s isires? Wait, how would you think this word is is pronounced?
spk_0
S is aisle s is aisle yeah, well, no with that scissors. I really don't know. Okay. Here we go
spk_0
Cisile. Okay, is it something that is easily cut? Okay, easy cut
spk_0
Two separate things of the same type
spk_0
Okay, two same type interesting a military explosive device containing shards or sharp metal resembling pieces of scissors. Okay
spk_0
Nope
spk_0
The awkward silence that happens right after two people try to talk at the exact same time. Oh
spk_0
Well
spk_0
Yeah, what's the first one?
spk_0
There's the easily cut the two of the same type the military explosion and the awkward silence Jason was
spk_0
You were text in the larberry. I got you that or oh yeah
spk_0
Uh, he did was it something that is easily cut two separate things of the same type. Okay, a military explosive device containing shards or sharp metal
spk_0
resembling pieces of scissors or the awkward silence that happens right after two people try to talk
spk_0
the exact same time
spk_0
Well, I've got my answer locked in I've got my locked in I'll know who goes first. How do we do?
spk_0
I'll just start. Okay, so mine was easily cut easily cut. I've got two people of the same type. What was that?
spk_0
Some yep, that was wonderful. All right
spk_0
Uh, two the second one two separate things of the exact same type. Yeah
spk_0
Uh, the correct answer was something that is easily cut which Jason and Mike got and no no no no no
spk_0
That's right. I apologize. Andy and Mike. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Jason chose Andy's answer
spk_0
Yeah, I knew that when he was like no no no
spk_0
So I literally
spk_0
heard my answer and I was like what a stupid it's oh, that's my answer. Oh
spk_0
Really was there's the military? Yeah, yeah sure was pretty murdy Mike. It was sometimes they're wordy
spk_0
I'm on the board
spk_0
Step one in this game. That's not I'm not there very often easily that you actually too similar to
spk_0
scissors
spk_0
That's why it's good
spk_0
Yeah, there was another one that was
spk_0
Similar to scissors. Okay, you did win this game last time Andy. I did. Yes, you did. Okay, and you are up three to two to zero
spk_0
Oh, that's good to know. We are moving on to a uh notable person
spk_0
Whose name is dick Beels dick Beels. Okay, legendary B. A L S richer
spk_0
Richard Beels. Okay, Richard
spk_0
It's uh, it's uh, Jessica's father gone
spk_0
Was he a short king famous for over 100 voice acting roles?
spk_0
Who wrote short king guys
spk_0
guys
spk_0
Was he the host of the first variety show in the early 1930s? Okay
spk_0
Third in the 30s
spk_0
Was he the voice actor of the cartoon Gumby?
spk_0
Gumby I remember that
spk_0
Or a notable psychologist that came up with the theory of irrational desire
spk_0
Oh, I got that
spk_0
Not I got a rational desire, you know what I'm saying we know. Okay, so it's one of three
spk_0
Which one is out I want to know uh the short king
spk_0
That's Jason the short king has been removed you don't oh no, I don't I don't you you can choose it
spk_0
I will lock in short king Mike okay Jason's lost the you've got it you got to put chairs
spk_0
Okay, so with the host of the something from the 30s
spk_0
I'm the first variety show the voice of Gumby and the uh psychologist
spk_0
I'm gonna go I'm switching to psychology no you's too late no I have you guys haven't even gone
spk_0
I'm going psychologist all right he switched I'm gonna take the host from the 30s
spk_0
I will go voice actor from Gumby wow wow I thought for sure you were gumby
spk_0
And he got the correct answer dang it
spk_0
He was the voice of Gumby
spk_0
I should have gone short king because I know I couldn't have given anyone else that was Jason's answer you guys me
spk_0
I knew he didn't he went off of it
spk_0
Hoping to bathe us into it. I went onto it hoping to bait you in nobody went so I was like I'm bailing
spk_0
I didn't go in because you said short king right okay
spk_0
That is a phrase that is popped up in the last like three years so here's the truth
spk_0
I chose short king specifically because I thought
spk_0
That's too dumb to come up with like and it's only in the last three years
spk_0
So it would never be so none of us would be that stupid
spk_0
So it has to be that one but you you went to the world around the circle yeah, yeah, yeah, dad
spk_0
Guess who answered my question or get me guess my answer
spk_0
Mike I did Andy's answer had Jason guest Mike's answer. Oh nice nice. I got zero. Yeah, you do
spk_0
You know a short king. I'm not done though. So we got more rounds to go
spk_0
We got Andy with six Mike with three hang it. Gumby zero
spk_0
Gumby baby. That was so good. We are moving on to the acronym and that is SITU
spk_0
Okay, SITU
spk_0
Is that an acronym for strategic initiatives in the unknown?
spk_0
Okay, the unknown standards institute for toilet upgrades
spk_0
Toilet upgrades. Okay, got it school of instructional technology and utilities. Oh, that's so good. That's awful. Okay
spk_0
Society for the investigation of the unexplained
spk_0
unexplained or unknown
spk_0
Or toilet
spk_0
Or toilet
spk_0
Let's see here checking my notes
spk_0
Toilet it might be the toilet upgrade
spk_0
It could be it could be any of these four uh, tenses turned to lock in first. Oh, well he kind of did last time
spk_0
No, he undid it so he has to do it now. All right. I'll do the the unknown the first one. Okay, wait
spk_0
That's what I had for the oh the last one's the unexplained. Yeah, the first one was strategic initiatives in the unknown
spk_0
Well, I'm doing the other one. I'm doing the unexplained the last one. So am I
spk_0
That means Andy's was the unknown
spk_0
He's crushing
spk_0
Out mics was the unknown so Jason guest mics answer and then Mike and Andy both got the right answer
spk_0
Oh, yes, I'm still zero. Yes, we keep smashing him. This is going so well
spk_0
My face is like in the mud. I don't even need to win. Mike is standing on the back of my head
spk_0
But he's on the shoulders now
spk_0
I
spk_0
I don't want to win. I just need Jason at zero point. Yeah, he's doing great. I'm gonna score
spk_0
I'm gonna score and you're hold on hold on hold on hold on
spk_0
Jason yeah
spk_0
Were you the toilet university? Yeah
spk_0
You betcha you don't read I was reading again Jeremy. How good was that the standards institute for toilet upgrades
spk_0
Standards in the island upgrade should have been the short king institute
spk_0
Here's where it went wrong. Oh tell me because I'm not sure last time who's short king was this one upgrades
spk_0
Really, but what did you have done with you? What is a toilet upgrade utilities?
spk_0
Utilities yeah, I
spk_0
You might have thought I'm gonna throw an university in that I'm upgraded all of the toilets in my house. Yeah, but it
spk_0
That's there you don't need to
spk_0
To Jason
spk_0
I've upgraded all the toilets. Okay, I'm gonna score now
spk_0
I'm not gonna score. I'm not gonna score by YouTube guessing my name my answer is gonna get it right
spk_0
Of course I'm gonna get it right because you guys
spk_0
You currently saw what I posted. Oh, no, we didn't I swear to you. I did not see a voice counts on her
spk_0
I can't wait to stand at the gates and
spk_0
The Boy Scouts hand signals what it is the boy scouts you gotta go three fingers three
spk_0
I wasn't a boy scout. Yeah, what is that? What do you want? I was the proctologist? Oh?
spk_0
All right
spk_0
Where are we at all right? I wasn't a nerd. Okay, moving on that's fair. I was
spk_0
You were a boy scout. I was yes eagle scout first. I was a loser. I dropped that right before
spk_0
So here's the thing that's falcon scout. Here's the thing. I feel like if you're a boy scout
spk_0
You're a nerd. Okay, you make it to eagle scout. You're awesome. You're awesome like a marine you're stuck
spk_0
You go for me steal your the kid
spk_0
It's like you tell me you're like hey dude. I made it to eagle scout. I'm like holy crap. You're serious. Yeah
spk_0
You want to make me a fire or what you're like but check this out. Oh, I was a boy scout
spk_0
Yeah, sure yeah, so it checks out which ones out a boy's a boy's yeah, all right next one next one on all right
spk_0
Jason zero the gap that's closed between Andy and Mike
spk_0
Andy has eight Mike has six eight six
spk_0
We're all about the same we have definitely one still has zero and we were
spk_0
There's only one way we can lose right now to a movie plot. Okay, and the title of that movie is don't bother to knock
spk_0
Is this the last question? No, no more
spk_0
Is the movie don't bother to knock is that a midwife is trapped in a small closet and imprisoned by an omnis family for more than 10 years
spk_0
midwife closet
spk_0
Is it a romcom about two neighbors who keep
spk_0
Uh
spk_0
Sorry to keep barging into each other's apartments unannounced and accidentally fall in love
spk_0
The one I couldn't read right okay. Yeah, is it Marilyn Monroe stars as a psychotic babysitter in a manhattan hotel
spk_0
That's very specific
spk_0
Or is it a coming-of-age story about a single mother and her three children growing up in rural Tennessee
spk_0
So listen
spk_0
Listen, I've got lots of thoughts here. I want to hear them. I do who's the first lock-in by the who has to lock in me
spk_0
correct
spk_0
So listen
spk_0
I guess I'll explain them afterwards because I don't want to ruin anything, but I I'm gonna go uh, I'm locking in Marilyn Monroe
spk_0
Wow
spk_0
Really I'm locking in Marilyn Monroe as well
spk_0
I'm so tilted right now, Mike. How do I not? How do you not try how do I not am I getting baited?
spk_0
Just be yourself, man. Just take I know no no no Andy
spk_0
We got a lock in
spk_0
I can't pick Jason's answer
spk_0
Sure
spk_0
Don't tell me your answer. I would guess my own answer is the one you would want 100% guess your own answer
spk_0
Can I take make sure you don't get zero? I think Jason's is the romcom neighbor one if hold on the stupidest one
spk_0
Yes, hold on
spk_0
If you guess your own answer, do you got a point for that? No, of course you don't Jeremy. I'm asking
spk_0
I'm not talking to you. That would be a stupid thing someone guess junior answer
spk_0
Yeah, what's the rules of the game is someone else guesses your right then I'll take the romcom
spk_0
Now he's trying to trick you again, Mike. Wait, he tried to guess
spk_0
Wait, you're taking the romcom remember he took his own answer before which means that I shouldn't take Marilyn Monroe
spk_0
It's too late. Okay, go ahead midwife. Yeah, I'm going back to Marilyn Monroe
spk_0
Okay, back on Marilyn Monroe. Okay, okay, okay, that's the right answer. I don't care. Uh mid what what was the midwife?
spk_0
A midwife is trapped in a small closet. Okay, full stop
spk_0
Oh
spk_0
Why is it a midwife trapped in the closet?
spk_0
She is she trying to help give birth
spk_0
Okay guys, there's a pumpkin in the way
spk_0
Okay, so that one I want to lock in I know I saw
spk_0
romcom about what?
spk_0
Some neighbors who keep barging in to each other's apartments unannounced and accidentally falling love. It's got to be made up
spk_0
It's it's got to be made that's a made up. It's got to be made up right. I'm gonna go there. That's Jason's
spk_0
Okay, I'm going with the Marilyn Monroe. Oh man. We all got it right y'all three of you got it
spk_0
Also, was that right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah romcom. I was I was sweating. Oh, I know it's hey by the way you two losers
spk_0
You didn't shut me out. Who's got a point
spk_0
I do you got two points. Oh, you get two points for good right one
spk_0
Um, by the way, who did the coming of age because that's the line. Oh, that's you does me
spk_0
I say we go to the coming of age where we that phrase is always in the invention
spk_0
I'm coming of age day. I'll read Jeremy read mine again a coming of age story about a single mother and her three children growing up in rural Tennessee
spk_0
That's a good story without the coming of age part. I would guess. Okay. Okay
spk_0
Oh, we're heading up into the last round we currently have standy points on this one goes Andy with 10
spk_0
Mike with eight you'll still lose Jason has almost pivoted off a Marilyn Monroe there
spk_0
Only if I could get Mike to get mine. Yeah, because you move to your own. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right last one
spk_0
All right, the last one is the weird law and this one is I'm gonna win this one in Massachusetts. You're not allowed to keep a mule
spk_0
In the passenger seat of your car even if it's wearing a seat belt
spk_0
That's great on the second story of any residents. Okay, that's funny in an uncovered stable
spk_0
Uncovered stable correct or outside in the rain
spk_0
Those are very similar. Okay, you're not allowed to keep a mule in the passenger seat of your car even if it's wearing a seat belt on the second story of any residents
spk_0
In an uncovered stable or outside in the rain
spk_0
All right, I've got mine locked in I got mine. I think per I think I have to go first. I'm going second story. I'm going second story
spk_0
All three of you got it correct
spk_0
Come on this is point the seat belt
spk_0
Of course that's mine. It was good Andy you repeated all right, so we did it
spk_0
Jason, but just went you went full unhinged did I get all five right?
spk_0
Uh, that's I think I got all five right
spk_0
Yeah, yeah, are you kidding? I think I got all five. I think we have to retire the game. I think I got 12
spk_0
She that would be 10 from getting him right and two from people guess all I know is I've never done as bad
spk_0
I'm just saying I'm not I don't want to I don't want to criticize you guys or or insinuate anything, but I have
spk_0
Never not have one of my
spk_0
Answers guess until I posted it publicly for 45 seconds and then somehow
spk_0
Someway none of mine were guests you also did shocking though
spk_0
That was one of them that was one of five. I will grant you that and see belted in the front of a car that one was good
spk_0
No, that was it was good for a laugh. No, that was top notch
spk_0
Wait, who did in the rain was that you? Yeah, that was me was that close you ruined my answer own each others
spk_0
You're just uncovered stable. Yeah, see that's a sensible
spk_0
Good answer next time we play this yours was put a mule in the
spk_0
But even if it's got a seat belt on Andy until evil if he's wearing a seat belt still evil
spk_0
So what you've taught me is I need to make the most boring answers ever yes, the gassel
spk_0
Yes, if you want to win the game
spk_0
So here's what I would like I wish dry wish all three of us were coming up with funny answers
spk_0
We still got the right ones most of the time
spk_0
You guys are making stupid answer
spk_0
We're not necessarily we're it's like it's the funniest dance we gotta make we gotta play quiplash and make that a new segment
spk_0
That's not oh good. Okay, we flash
spk_0
We're flash. Yes. All right. We are moving on
spk_0
The spitballers draft
spk_0
Donkey in the front see the
spk_0
Even when that's that is a you would have dominated quiplash that is such a funny answer
spk_0
Yeah, well, we can't can't always win when you post them publicly or wait with you uh the midwife
spk_0
That was me. That was you. I realized right away. That was way too far
spk_0
Alrighty um
spk_0
We're drafting for a restaurant battle royale. Yes, the battle royals are back the three of us are locked in a restaurant fighting to the death four picks each
spk_0
Mike with the first pick
spk_0
So I feel like there's the practical
spk_0
First answer
spk_0
There's a lot of good answers. Yeah, but there's I know I think I know where you're there's there's the practical one
spk_0
And I don't know if I want to just go right to that
spk_0
If you were a midwife stuck in a restaurant what would you choose? I would have first I'm I
spk_0
Putting them making her a midwife was the equivalent of your coming of age. Yeah, yeah, the midwife was a little too much
spk_0
Why should I started picturing this I started thinking about a movie. I got to get out
spk_0
I was like this baby. She was there. It's when your kids start lying to you and you're like that lie is really specific
spk_0
Yeah, yeah, it's a little too
spk_0
Someone thought about this
spk_0
For a while. Yeah, all right. So you got the first pick
spk_0
We're stuck in a restaurant. It's time to fight to the death. What are you taking?
spk_0
knives
spk_0
Knife I'm taking the knives. Okay, do you see you trapped on your own pick? I know I know there's something I should take
spk_0
But I don't want you. I'm not going to but I know that when we're done
spk_0
We're gonna put it up on the social media machine and we can say what's the best one?
spk_0
I have knives that's a panda. Yeah, that's an embarrassing
spk_0
All right, yeah, what do you got what do you got what do I got I got a I got a cast iron pan bro come at me with your knives
spk_0
I'm using this thing like a baseball bat is that are all cast iron pans skillets or they actually pans
spk_0
Oh, they're usually skillets. Okay, you want to do you want that as the phrase cast iron skillet
spk_0
Cast iron skillet. You're gonna what the crap out of us with some cast iron. Oh heck yeah, man
spk_0
That was my number one. Yeah, because it was my number one, but not too
spk_0
I genuinely think if like let's let's actually be real about this like we are on this pitbull. Yep. Yeah, always
spk_0
A person equally matched. Okay, physical strength to physical strength you versus yourself, you know, yep
spk_0
If one person had a
spk_0
A chef's knife. Yeah
spk_0
Killer cutter. What are you saying if you just went and the other person's knife had a skillet?
spk_0
I'll take the person with the knife. I think I would take the person with a skillet
spk_0
I really do I think you'll get this because you drafted it Andy. What would you yeah? I look here's what I
spk_0
It's a knife. It is a razor sharp knife the cast iron skillets elite if they don't see you coming
spk_0
But it's heavy and swinging that thing defending against the knife that might be tough blocking a cast iron skill
spk_0
You are not blocking anything. That's my point. What do you want to get a chance? You're not blocking anything. No, no, no
spk_0
I'm saying you're not able to block a cast iron skillet because when you block with your
spk_0
You dodge you don't block you dodge you have to try to dodge because if you try to block this cast iron skillet
spk_0
You're your forearm is gone. Yeah, I think you're talking about blocking the knife with the knife
spk_0
I thought you were trying to hold the skillet up the block of knife if you come at me swinging with a knife
spk_0
And I come at you swinging with a cast iron skillet. Yeah, you might slice my forearm and I'll bleed a little bit
spk_0
And I might smash your jaw and you'll be on the ground dying
spk_0
Won't like if you get an artery. Okay, you're knife wins, but otherwise this is the debate. Yeah, this is what they will leave the voting for
spk_0
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna let you swing that thing
spk_0
Till you're exhausted Debbie like you know, take me at least five swings. I know
spk_0
I think I'll get you one of them. I can swing and I've been with you seven times
spk_0
Okay, I want to linger on the skillet, but would you
spk_0
Potentially do the full spinning attack. Oh
spk_0
Yeah, Cyclone you know how much less energy you would expend you just more keeping the moment you're going
spk_0
You would be dizzy. That is the way to go and then I get to throw up on you
spk_0
When I'm done, I finally connect to go
spk_0
Alternate spin like I would feel more intimidated to block the cyclone than I would a regular swing
spk_0
I would just step back
spk_0
He goes into the window. All right knives in a cast iron skill very good
spk_0
The first thing I thought of that that um wasn't even on like any you know
spk_0
List of like main ingredient stuff that I thought about from a kitchen was I want the boiling oil from the deep
spk_0
That is a good pick. That is actually top of my list
spk_0
That is I thought it would come back to know that's a very good if you both like your skill
spk_0
It's not blocking enough of the oil to not have you burned. Yeah, and Mike's knife is not blocking
spk_0
So you have this frying oil it seems like you're going to need another pick to do something with it
spk_0
Well, what I you know go ahead reach in and give it him the container. Yeah, but do you know what the frying container?
spk_0
He's actually a fast. It's a wire basket that's empty. Okay, bring me no
spk_0
But if you're but if you're boiling oil in the in the skillet
spk_0
Okay, then there's a little bit of oil
spk_0
owie
spk_0
My second pick
spk_0
I'm gonna actually go with something that is very easy to wield
spk_0
Because I think at some point you might get tired. You might drop that skillet Mike swing in the knife
spk_0
I might get knocked out of his hands. It's five
spk_0
Swings five swings and seven for me. Am I not?
spk_0
You got seven? That's what I got. That's what I got. How many can you do with your spear?
spk_0
Uh, I didn't get it. I'm going corkscrew. Oh, it's on my list. I'm going corkscrew because I can hold it
spk_0
Yeah, punch and then the farcestoo comes out from the middle of the hand like a Wolverine
spk_0
Oh for sure. Yeah, it's just part of me. I like it. So I'm going corkscrew
spk_0
Okay, that's not and then after I beat you guys
spk_0
Pop it open a bottle of wine champagne. Oh, yeah, you don't need a first champagne
spk_0
Um, I know because it's got the uh, you don't need a course
spk_0
We're champagne you shake it you pop it. Is that always true? Always true. Why do they do that for?
spk_0
Oh, because of the carbonation. Yeah carbonation
spk_0
Shoot like figure like taught himself right there. Yeah, he did. He's here's the thing
spk_0
I'm not a wine nor a
spk_0
champagne wine
spk_0
Person yeah, which I do know that
spk_0
champagne is just sparkling wine but only from one tiny little region named champagne. There you go
spk_0
Is it really? Yeah, champagne can only be from champagne. It's the stupidest bulk rest. Is that real still?
spk_0
Yeah, it's the same thing like you can't you can't all champagne. It's from champagne. Yeah, California. You sure can't sparkly one. Oh, it's the same exact thing. Oh, but it's the
spk_0
Roof Roads. Yeah, okay, you say that but the more Jason talks the more I think he is smelling his farts inside of it
spk_0
We got the same thing. What do we have? Like bourbon is from Kentucky
spk_0
Okay, well, oh, and then all please and all whisk please education whiskey is from elsewhere or or or really?
spk_0
Scotch is from Scotland really? Yeah, yeah, Scotchland
spk_0
Nice. Yeah, Scotch is from Scotch. I thought Scotch and whiskey had like a dynamic that was different. Yeah, actual alcohol. They do. I thought it was well
spk_0
I can't make Scotch and Portland so they're correct because to me
spk_0
champagne and sparkling wine it could be the exact same thing but one is just from champagne
spk_0
But and you just said that except there are differences
spk_0
people in Scotland. I mean, it does it. No, no, I want to know you're Andy Educator. So it says it's a specific type of whiskey that's distilled a matured in Scotland. Now in strict
spk_0
Regulations that required to be made from water water
spk_0
Serials like multi barley like
spk_0
But it must be aged for a minimum of three years and oak casks and bottled at a minimum of 40% by volume. Yeah
spk_0
whiskey's wild because there's just different percentages of whether it's raw or corn or whatever the
spk_0
percentages are and they make them a certain way in Scotland and that Scotch and then that's got slightly different ingredients
spk_0
Then you would do and if you want bourbon it's from you know, Kentucky
spk_0
Technically it's from the middle of the US not just Kentucky, but
spk_0
I think the bourbon one's only one that I'm seeing that might not
spk_0
require the
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Place
spk_0
Bourbon is considered a United States and it's over 51% corn. Yes, whiskey Scotch whiskeys from Scotland right Tennessee whiskey from Tennessee
spk_0
That's why I said it's mostly
spk_0
All Kentucky. Yeah, it's just all that center of the United States Tennessee whiskeys from Tennessee
spk_0
Yeah, you cannot make Tennessee whiskey in Arizona
spk_0
It goes back to the silly joke I made about Scotch is from Scotchland
spk_0
Scotch light white why isn't different like
spk_0
Tennessee okay, but here's
spk_0
What it goes back to what it goes back to and truth oh my god, it goes back to champagne
spk_0
Like when we make the joke of of course Tennessee whiskey can only be from Tennessee. That's ridiculous
spk_0
Same thing as
spk_0
champagne no champagne is from champagne so you can't make champagne in California
spk_0
It's champagne it only sounds that way to us because we know champagne as the drink not as the city did
spk_0
Is it a city or is it a it's a region a region northeastern France
spk_0
So did they
spk_0
Create it
spk_0
Yes, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go yeah on that one. I'm gonna go definitively yes, and so and then they didn't make it and they named the city
spk_0
What
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I this area
spk_0
We are on champagne for too long all right. I've got boiling oil in a corkscrew Jason's you're swinging your cast iron skillet
spk_0
What else you got is it back to me? Yeah, it is darn
spk_0
um
spk_0
Okay, well since we're
spk_0
I'm gonna go with an ice pick oh just okay. I mean an ice pick is straight up a murder weapon
spk_0
It is literally made as a hold this in your hand and stab it with a pointy end like knives have purposes that aren't stabbing
spk_0
knives you you chop you know you're you're you're finally
spk_0
Dicing things and so you took the the ice pick I took the ice pick right yeah
spk_0
You're not cutting with it your stabbing stabbing yeah, you're you're stabbing which it's pretty similar to knives legendary that you can't do stabbing
spk_0
My
spk_0
That's my point. Oh, it's like I know you're speaking at knife you're speaking no it is
spk_0
So you're kind of exactly right, but you're both making my name a little more nimble what I can't do is I cannot
spk_0
Finally chop parsley with this thing right I want to know what I can do stab and stab alone
spk_0
Which is all you're gonna try to do with your knife, but your knife can do other things that are so boring
spk_0
You oh slash
spk_0
Yeah, slay I'll take my slashes. I'm gonna I'm gonna stab you. You're gonna stab me. I got it. No, I don't with you
spk_0
Mike you have knives Jason swinging on a skillet and an ice pick. I've got some boiling oil in a corkscrew
spk_0
Okay, we're fighting to the death. We're in arrest. What he does
spk_0
uh
spk_0
So Andy's over there with his his corkscrew. He's got to get in close range ice pick
spk_0
And all these things all these things are pretty you can throw a knife easier than a ice pick. That's true
spk_0
I want rotation around that I'm gonna rotate those dance especially since I specifically took knives
spk_0
Yeah, he's got a six pack of steak. He can throw. Okay, you did not take ice picks. That's a
spk_0
Amp return but they only got one per restaurant probably
spk_0
um
spk_0
so
spk_0
I have noticed you know in the uh
spk_0
At least in the cartoons of the circus when they're trying to keep the line away
spk_0
Hmm they got they got the chair. Are you taking a chair? I am but I need a lightweight
spk_0
Long one maybe some party
spk_0
So specifically no you're some called a high
spk_0
chair. I'm taking I'm taking the high chair for the kids man. All the kids. Yeah, this thing is lightweight and I'm keeping you at distance
spk_0
Sometimes I mean, I think most of the time they're lightweight occasionally they seem to be very triangular
spk_0
We're a little heavy a little triangle. Buzzy places you go
spk_0
Well, I mean just a pretty wide base like if you had a if you had a bar stool. It's very even the whole way
spk_0
I'm just very well. The high chair is very lightweight
spk_0
I can maneuver I can get at least three spins in with the high chair. Are you doing the same? He wants the he wants to keep us at a distance where his knife can't reach
spk_0
So what he's want to do is be like, aha, I can't get you
spk_0
Yeah, but you have to look at this high chair. You cannot get me and you know what I can't get you because my next
spk_0
I'm going distance my next pick is a mop
spk_0
Okay, all right. I'm mom. I'm mom. All right. That's right. What a wetter dry
spk_0
Yeah, that's a great question. He's got some of the oil on it. Did you dip it into my oil?
spk_0
Is has this just cleaned the floor because I'm gonna be much more upset by that not just the floor Jason the bathroom the bathroom floor
spk_0
Oh, I use bathroom floor. Yep, absolutely pretty good
spk_0
And this this thing was wrecked. Yeah, you used it to plunge. Yeah, and then I
spk_0
I went right it because because you know what my mop was dry
spk_0
So I went into the toilet first because I needed a little bit of
spk_0
moisture to be honest when you swing that around you're getting a little on yourself. That's all right
spk_0
So price the willing to pay you get in some on yourself. All right Jason skillet ice pick what you got
spk_0
It's me again. Yes Jason
spk_0
Did you have a listen? We have a list I believe texting your stylist again. We've done 341 shows before this
spk_0
I feel like I say in a way that it goes. Yeah, yeah, you felt like you picked between both of us you did
spk_0
All right, you're gonna do it again until the end of the round. Okay, I'm gonna take something that is
spk_0
Perfect
spk_0
It can be thrown
spk_0
Which if this hits you at a distance you're gonna be not out okay, it can create problems
spk_0
It can be used up close and if this thing breaks my weapon just
spk_0
Better crap. I'm taking wine bottles. Oh, yeah, yeah, and bottles
spk_0
My god got a seller's worth here. I had bottles of booze no rookie mistake. I can throw them
spk_0
I can swing them. I can smash them. I can stab you could throw at least 12 of them before you got tired
spk_0
I can do 13 the baker's cousin when he breaks it. He's cutting his hand on the glass
spk_0
Yeah, but then I but then I'm gonna hand swing my blood at you
spk_0
Okay, all right, yes, of course, of course
spk_0
Um, do I have any more picks? Yes
spk_0
Where are you right now what order does this go?
spk_0
It's the normal order from 340 shows all right, okay, I'm in tell the barber to hold on a second
spk_0
And you're working you need a ride to the barber you need a haircut
spk_0
I am going because I need you guys both have multiple things you're throwing
spk_0
And you took I that's a great pick wine bottles. I need a stack of dinner plates. Oh dinner plates is on my list
spk_0
I'm taking a stack of dinner plates. It's so good. I they crack they break you can fire them off like frisbees
spk_0
That's what's happening you can wrap it fire so many different plates. That's good and they're explosive. Yeah, it's a problem
spk_0
My last pick is gonna be a little of a while but then but I just want to go back to your inner plates
spk_0
They're explosive. It's a good you can throw them if frisbee. Yeah, it's great
spk_0
If I got hit with a dinner plate. Yeah versus getting hit with a bottle of wine
spk_0
I feel like it's not gonna do anything to me and when it explodes
spk_0
It's not gonna explode on me. It's gonna be like if you miss and it hits the back wall
spk_0
I think it's gonna it's a pretty heavy duty. It's a nice restaurant
spk_0
I feel like you're not shattering a dinner plate by throwing it at me. No, but it will him
spk_0
I mean, it's gonna
spk_0
Mame you I feel like a damage you can be bruised a bottle of wine will hurt more
spk_0
To the body like anywhere under the neck
spk_0
It will hurt more than a plate, but not hurt way more to the face. It does break but give away
spk_0
But a plate a plate to the faces is I mean that you're talking about all real skinny area that's a
spk_0
The dense porcelain pressure. Are you trying to say that a dinner plate to the face throwing like a frisbee?
spk_0
It would be more than a wine bottle
spk_0
No, no, no, that's not what I'm saying good to I'm what I'm saying is both of them to the body
spk_0
It doesn't really matter. I will do it but both of them to the face both of them are a proper
spk_0
bottle wine worse, but a plate all right that so long as mine's better
spk_0
I'm gonna pick after Andy is that that's how it works. Yeah, I'm using my corkscrew. I'm emptying all your bottles
spk_0
They're all empty. They're not gonna you're gonna drink them all and then you're a real pro
spk_0
You're just laying in the corner for us to put a high
spk_0
I won't feel pain
spk_0
I'm gonna go with a really he's just gonna roll
spk_0
Back and forth on the ground
spk_0
I got me already I'm a wrong there. Yeah, that many bottles of mine plus boiling oil not good
spk_0
My final pick is gonna be a little bit out of left field. Oh, I want it to I wanted to play the part of tantalizing and then
spk_0
hurting you
spk_0
No, I'm taking a molten lava cake. Oh, you're gonna you're gonna be tempted. Yeah, I'm gonna be
spk_0
But it's over. It's really too hot. It's really the molten lava in this case very molten you are aware that there is no actual molten lava
spk_0
Yes, I'm a volcano. Yes. Here's the thing. Yeah, I'm aware you
spk_0
Just you destroyed my fourth pick. I did you did because my fourth pick was simply going to be
spk_0
Desserts okay as
spk_0
Like we just went out to lunch. Yeah, I know how you two get around desserts
spk_0
Yeah, we got to go
spk_0
Oh, it's to lure us 100% yeah, so you're thinking of attacking. Oh, I said it would be this I would lure you
spk_0
But then once you go in the lava, but there's no lava
spk_0
But if you ever have you ever tried to bite into a molten lava cake that's fresh. Yeah, no like just bite directly
spk_0
Not with fork just bite it. Yeah, no, I never have you as you know what it tastes like no
spk_0
molten lava. Yeah, thank you. Jason you unfortunately for yourself have to pick again. I mean this is easy
spk_0
You guys left such a good pick this late
spk_0
This is
spk_0
Literally used
spk_0
To beat the crap out of meat. Yeah, you got meat in dry head. I had it on the list. It's just it wasn't your pick Jay
spk_0
No, you got me for a second you got me for a second. You got a meat tenderizer. That should have been my fourth pick
spk_0
Yeah, that's what you took a cake. Yeah, I did I'm I'm for it. Yeah, Mike knives. Hi chair mop. I'm bummed
spk_0
I was I'm up. I was gonna close with desserts as just a little as a trap. Yeah, I don't mind it
spk_0
Ah, but clearly I'm not gonna go that route now. You took the molten lava cake
spk_0
Ah
spk_0
My list is you can do a pie like in the face, but that's just funny. I know, but it's pretty funny
spk_0
Like it's funny. It's like ha ha ha got you and then you're like
spk_0
I'm like delicious. I'm like oh here's nice big. Oh, no, I got a cherry ice-pick to the ribs
spk_0
Um, I don't know uh
spk_0
Yeah, pepper grinder. It's the best thing left on my list. Yeah, like a big one. Yeah, it's yeah. Oh, yeah
spk_0
This is like a mallet. Yeah, yeah, we're weird. This is too handed. Hmm
spk_0
Yeah, and there's you don't know you've never seen a no, I yeah, yeah, yeah
spk_0
Just you said it was the best thing left on your list. It was
spk_0
It was the best thing left on my list. Yeah, a pot of coffee like hot boiling coffee. It's not on my list
spk_0
That's what I'm saying was the problem was oh that would that would have been great you took
spk_0
Meat tenderizer and you could have taken coffee. Yeah. Yeah, if we went right back at you right back at you
spk_0
We could have gone 20 rounds wasn't on your list. I could have got it anywhere a few extras
spk_0
Honorable mentions here. I had the kabob skewers
spk_0
Okay
spk_0
That's actually a flaming fondue pot if I didn't get the oil. I was going. Oh
spk_0
Your fondue pot would be you couldn't that or the the fajitas
spk_0
Yeah, I thought about the fajitas but he does kind of like his skillet. Yeah, okay
spk_0
And I think those are the main ones that I had still on the list. I don't know
spk_0
So I what I wanted the most I feel like would have been kind of scurting rules so I didn't even do my normal thing
spk_0
Does not sound like you would all but it's not really scurting rules because it is actually a thing in a lot of restaurants which is
spk_0
It's essentially a flame thrower
spk_0
It's a it's not a flame thrower. No, you the butane torch. Yeah, I mean
spk_0
Torch that's what you like I'd like the tiny little one no no no there they're they're they're actually pretty big no there
spk_0
Not like the ones for drinks. Not the ones that I would thought you have for like a um what is this?
spk_0
Smoke gold faster dessert with the cream brulee
spk_0
Cremble lays what I was thinking oh
spk_0
Hold on hold on a butane torch I can get your telling me oversized one. I don't think it's common enough in every restaurant
spk_0
That they have a two handed butane lighter yes
spk_0
Yes Jason for what purpose for so even what can you get done?
spk_0
I knew
spk_0
Go butane towards like a normal person where they have them in every restaurant. Okay, two handed not a flame thrower
spk_0
Two handed gun like it's not a flame thrower. It's not like
spk_0
But two handed butane lighter versus one handed little butane lighter what
spk_0
Can you not get done with the one handed one so
spk_0
The two handed one I'm referring to is not like you you can use this with one hand. This is not like I need
spk_0
It's not like a shotgun size, but you would have to but it's not like the little handheld
spk_0
Like the little handhold ones for a smoke-old fashion you you couldn't use two hands
spk_0
There's just no other place, but I'm saying what do you possibly it's usually a stake or meat
spk_0
It's usually something where you are people are taking a beauty
spk_0
Well according to my research I did the research casual and standard restaurants basically it's between zero and one percent would help
spk_0
Yeah, it sounds like a Jason restaurant. That's what I didn't draft it. I'm just saying that sounds like where you're going
spk_0
Where I go to eat the guy zero to one percent yeah
spk_0
But but across all restaurants or fine dining and specialty kitchens it might be like two to three percent when I go to Wendy's
spk_0
They don't have that no they don't
spk_0
What did we learn today?
spk_0
I learned today
spk_0
That my esteemed colleagues lied about not seeing my list for bar dad
spk_0
And I was my exceptional answers were never good. Yeah, I learned that Jason put a lot of imagination into his answers today
spk_0
And I learned that Andy needs to get a grown-up toothbrush. Yeah, I was looking at you so proud to tell you guys
spk_0
You got a middle school of toothbrush. You took a he has little dinosaurs on it. You took a baby step. Okay now next before next episode
spk_0
We expect you to be growing. We're by me one
spk_0
I'm expensive
spk_0
Goodbye thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast to see what other nonsense the guys are up to check out spitballers pod.com
spk_0
You