Technology
Jurassic Bake Off—Episode 1
In the inaugural episode of Jurassic Bake Off, the hosts of Improv Table Top dive into a whimsical blend of baking and dinosaurs. Join GM Ned Wilcock and players Caleb Anderton, Evan Peterson, and Jus...
Jurassic Bake Off—Episode 1
Technology •
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Interactive Transcript
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What's shaking everybody, you're listening to Improv Table Top, the FATRPG actual play
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where we make up absolutely everything on the spot.
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I am your host and GM Ned Wilcock, and joining me today we have...
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Caleb Anderton, your main man.
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Evan Peterson.
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Justin Porter, aka JP.
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All right, and we have a very fun genre setting that we've come up with for you today.
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We're going to go for a bit of a great British baking show sort of vibe, but it's being hosted
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in Jurassic Park this season, and that's going to bring some fun stuff here.
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So we're going to start off with our ideation.
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We're just going to do some monologues off of this theme of baking and dinosaurs.
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So I'll go ahead and go first.
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I have for quite some time been a pretty big fan of geocaching.
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And I recently got back into it, and it's had a pretty big resurgence of late I've discovered.
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They've got a really sweet app that you can use.
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I guess for those of you who aren't familiar with geocaching, people will hide these little
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boxes and containers and whatnot just all over the world, give GPS coordinates, and you go
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and find it, you'll write your name in the log, occasionally you'll be able to trade a
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trinket for something that's already in there.
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And there's this one in Rexburg that's super fun.
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It's this dinosaur trivia question thing where they don't actually give you the GPS coordinates
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off the bat, but they ask you a whole bunch of trivia questions about dinosaurs.
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And when you find the right answer, it'll give you one of the little bits of the coordinate,
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and you string that all together.
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And that helps you find where the geocache itself is.
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And it's like one of the coolest things I've done, and I really appreciate that human.
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And if you haven't given geocaching a try, you should go ahead and do so.
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Caleb, I believe you're next.
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All right, so I have three small little boys and dinosaurs are always a big part of our
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life, dinosaur toys.
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And anyway, I was just thinking about how many times I have stepped on spiky dinosaur
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toys in the middle of the night.
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You think that stepping on Legos is bad?
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Try stepping on a stegosaurus.
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Some of them are really, really spiky and pokey and can just make you make the worst
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noises in the middle of the night when you're trying to sneak out of a sleeping child's
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bedroom that you've just put them down in.
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So that's really what came to my mind with dinosaurs.
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And then I guess to add to that, just more of the domestic setting, there was one time
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my wife was baking brownies.
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And I kept making fun of something she was doing.
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And just all good naturedly, she was like, hey, you knock it off, or I'm going to splat
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some brownie batter right in your face.
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And of course, I didn't knock it off.
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And she actually did it and caught me right on the face with a big old spoonful of brownie
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batter.
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Nice.
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And it was one of the best, like it was one of the times I've laughed the hardest ever.
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And yeah, she was laughing too.
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It was a really good time.
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So those two things came to my mind.
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Nice dinosaurs and baking.
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K, Evan, what you got for us?
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So I'm having trouble thinking of anything really personal.
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So I'd just like to take a second to talk about one of the biggest travesties in reality
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TV history, one of the biggest scandals, one of the biggest moments of injustice, which
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was on the Great British baking show when I don't remember the names of the contestants,
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but they were making ice creams.
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And one contestant took another contestant's ice cream out of the freezer and just left
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it on the counter on a particularly hot day.
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And his entire dessert melted, turned into a puddle.
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And in his frustration, he threw it away.
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And so then they sent him home for throwing away his dessert and not like keeping a level
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head.
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And that is ridiculous.
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And there's actually a big controversy about this.
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I don't remember the exact name.
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I think it was called Alaska Gate because it was a baked Alaska they were making.
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But there was a whole hashtag and I'm still looking for justice for that man to this day
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because that other contestant was clearly in the wrong.
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Dang.
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I remember that episode.
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I love that like the most dramatic British reality TV gets is like somebody dropping
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a thing into a garbage.
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It's great.
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All right.
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And JP, how about yourself?
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I haven't seen that many episodes of the British breaking show.
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But the one I did see was because my dad was watching it and told me to come in the room.
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And what had happened was somebody had made a cake but it looks remarkably like genitalia.
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And so nobody was saying anything about it.
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But everybody's just like that is ridiculous.
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And so that is my experience with that show.
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All right.
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I don't think I got to that episode.
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I don't remember that one.
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I have to look for it again.
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Okay.
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So we've got our ideation.
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Got a number of little tidbits that we can bring back into the stories we go along.
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But so to just sort of establish the world a little bit, all of our players are contestants
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in the Great British Baking show.
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And it's being hosted this season at Jurassic.
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Oh, not.
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Oh goodness.
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Okay.
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We need to make sure that we're getting our IPs correct here.
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You are all contestants of the Pleasantly Proper Baking Competition.
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And this season the Pleasantly Proper Baking Competition is being hosted in dinosaur
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theme land, the IP friendly dinosaur themed theme land.
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And so let's go ahead and start to figure out who our characters are that are going to
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be inhabiting this fantastic world.
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Uh, let's start alphabetically Caleb.
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Do you have any thoughts yet for who your character is going to be?
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Uh, yes.
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I am going to be a friendly velociraptor named Trek.
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Oh, you are a dinosaur.
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Yes.
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Uh, I don't agree with all of the other dinosaurs that are all big and loud and, uh, and mean
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and scary and things like that.
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And I just want to join this great bake off that is happening.
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That is my biggest goal in life.
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I dig it.
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So, uh, what we say is our high concept aspect for Trek's pre-historically proper.
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Pre-historically proper.
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All right.
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Got a lot of things that we can intuit from that.
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He is a literal dinosaur, but he has sophistication and probably a British accent.
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Uh, what is something that might get Trek's into trouble on occasion?
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His dyno instincts get the better of him.
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Mmm.
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So, he's got that predator's instinct.
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Yeah, he's got some internal conflict with that.
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Sounds good.
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Uh, what is one additional thing that we should know about Trek's?
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What's another aspect?
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He is, in fact, the result of some DNA experimentation.
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Mmm.
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So, definitely not your typical sort of dinosaur.
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Somebody here at dinosaur theme land has been, uh, doing some other stuff behind the
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scenes.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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And what is Trek's plus three approach going to be?
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He's a velociraptor, so he's going to be clever.
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Nice.
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Very on-brand.
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Very, very on-brand.
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All right.
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Let's go to Evannext.
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What sort of ideas do you have for your character?
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So one thing I've noticed when watching British reality shows, uh, my wife and I are big
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fans, uh, whether it be, uh, the British Bake Kitchen show, or, or we watched a pottery
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one recently, it seems like over there there's often people who have what in America we might
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stereotype is very manly professions, construction workers, woodworkers, builders who in the
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side bake can make pottery.
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Things that, uh, not stereotype, but I feel like in America you might think of them as
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like maybe getting made fun of by their co-workers or something, but over there all their co-workers
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are like, oh my gosh, we love his cookies.
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We always want him to bring cupcakes into work.
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So playing along with that, my character is a heavyweight MMA fighter whose his ring name
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is Skull Crusher, but, uh, you know, here he's just Dave, uh, and baking his, uh, his passion
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on the side when he's not fighting in the ring, he's just a huge, hulking beast of a man
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who likes to bake cakes.
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Nice.
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So how would we distill that down into a high concept aspect?
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I'm been trying to think of that, how you would word that.
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Uh, I just wanted to say like crushing crumpeteer.
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Crushing crumpeteer.
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Beef plus cake equals beef cake.
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There you at, so there you go.
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That's amazing.
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I like that.
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Alright.
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So what is something that gets Dave in trouble on occasion?
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So he is like kind of a very gentle giant, you know, but, uh, kind of in the way that like,
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you might see a new superhero like crush something because they're still learning their
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own strength.
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He occasionally is like too forceful, completely unaccident, even though he's trying to be
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gentle, whether that be ruining his dessert or like trying to scoop past someone in the
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kitchen and just completely bowling them over.
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He just doesn't really know his own size or strength.
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He's kind of a clumsy giant.
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So maybe clumsy giant is the trouble.
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Just I just want to say in my brain, this guy has kind of a bronze stroman sort of look
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to him.
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Oh my gosh.
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I did want to see bronze stroman crack a lobster claw with his bare hands on backed back
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chef.
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That's a, I'm amazed you even know who bronze stroman is, but I can see it.
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Yeah.
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Alright.
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So we got that kind of vibe with this guy.
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Uh, what's, what's another aspect for bronze stroman, something else we should know?
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Not, not bronze stroman, Dave.
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Goodness gracious.
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Dave Skullcruster.
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I get myself mixed up.
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He was forced in, how do I, I always think it struggled to like, word these, but I,
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I'm thinking he was forced into baking by his parents and he really wanted to be a UFC
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fighter.
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And that's why they're, or a MMA fighter.
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And so there's this disconnect in his brain, but now he feels like he has to keep up appearances.
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Hmm.
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Keeping up appearances.
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I think that's a pretty good name for an aspect.
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So it's, it's kind of a flip on instead of being a baker who's MMA fighting to look tough.
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He's a secretly MMA fighter at heart who's baking to keep up his soft appearance.
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What's his plus three approach?
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Yeah, so I've been thinking about that and it seems like right off the bat, I think
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it has to be forceful.
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I've played around with other things, maybe like, maybe like careful because he has to
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be careful to keep himself in check, but I think, I think forceful at the end of the
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day just makes sense.
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And it does.
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So we got Dave all figured out here.
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Let's talk to JP, what you got in mind.
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Okay, so my thing is Dr. Stephen Bond.
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I'm going to say my, my high concept is out of place archaeologists.
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He was invited, he's an archaeologist who is invited to dinosaur theme land to be on
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this show, but he doesn't bake at all.
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He's, he's an art cart archaeologist.
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He studies raptors and works at a museum.
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So they brought him in as a consultant of sorts to help out with these people who are familiar
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with baking, but not with dinosaurs?
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Yeah, it is just like, it was just one of those things too.
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It's just like, this will get ratings.
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You know, we have an actual archaeologist on the show.
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So he's like that special guest star.
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I dig it.
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So you're our special guest star.
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What is something that it was Stephen Bond, correct?
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Yes, Stephen Bond.
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What's something that gets Dr. Stephen Bond in trouble?
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Well, he is very careful not to break things.
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So I guess you could say that gets him in trouble because...
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Got a level of timidity to him?
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Yeah, a little timidity, and he's also got a fascination with anything that has to
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deal with museums or dinosaurs or whatever.
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Also he doesn't like kids.
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Doesn't like kids.
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Just store that in there.
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Maybe not the most helpful thing when you're at a theme park.
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Yeah.
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Alright, and what is one additional aspect for Dr. Stephen Bond?
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I mean, I put that he studies raptors and that's his like focus.
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Hmm, so that's going to bring some interesting connection with our friend Trex over here.
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Yep, yeah.
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And what is our plus three approach for Dr. Stephen Bond?
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Careful.
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Careful.
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Make sense.
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Let's go back around and figure out some stunts.
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Mr. Trex, do you have your stunt figured out?
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I've been trying to think of something.
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I've got one if you still need a minute.
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Yeah, I go for it.
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Go for it.
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What is Dave's stunt?
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Dave's stunt is called persuasive pastries where he's such a good baker that if he can
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get somebody to eat one of his pastries, including animals, they are immediately more
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endeared to him in some way.
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I can't think of the specifics, but whether he could just get an unfriendly person to
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buy the cupcake or he can lob an entire wedding cake and do a dinosaurs mouth, they're immediately
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going to be a little more friendly with them.
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I dig it.
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JP, do you have a stunt in mind for our doctor?
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I do, but I can't try and think of a clever name.
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I'm going to call it, he's calling for help because of Jurassic Park 3 when he was talking
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about the raptors that could talk to each other.
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And so I'm going to say that my stunt is that I can communicate with anything like that.
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I can somehow communicate my ideas to somebody who can't speak like a dinosaur or something.
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Interesting.
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For a second, I was just like, how is that a clever name?
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And then you pulled out a deep Jurassic Park reference that went completely over my head,
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so respect for that.
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Yeah, mad props.
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I love Jurassic Park.
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Okay, let's come back around to Caleb, you have anything for your stunt yet?
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Yeah, okay, so going with this Velociraptor theme, I'm going to call the stunt opening doors.
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It's going to be whether that is a figurative door or a literal door.
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Once per, you know, session, trex can use his clever mind to open a door to someplace
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where he probably usually wouldn't be able to get to, whether that's physically or whether
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that's not physically what's the other word I'm looking for mentally?
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Emotionally?
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Spiritually?
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Yes, all of it.
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He can just, he can get places socially even.
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That's probably how we got on the show.
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So these are the characters that we have.
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If you can all just make sure that all of these details are reflected in the trello board
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before we get started.
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Got him.
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The show brought to you by Trello.
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So you guys have never been to dinosaur theme land before.
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It's a very new, fangled sort of place.
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It's just opened up.
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And as part of their desire to get the word out into the world and to prove that this
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is a safe place, they've decided to invite the most wholesome, safe sort of television
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program here to prove how safe it is, the pleasantly proper baking competition.
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So you all have been selected from among various British individuals to come and represent
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yourselves here.
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And so, sorry, I just saw Evans reaction.
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Sorry, I forgot we need to do British accents.
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So I have to rethink my voice I was going to do.
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So you have been invited into dinosaur theme land through one of the back entrances.
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It's an interesting sort of thing where it's like people can see that you're there, but
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not a lot of people are really allowed to get close to the compound itself because this
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season we don't have a tent.
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We have a compound because it's dinosaur theme land.
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But people can still kind of tell that there's stuff going on over there.
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You occasionally see young children and their parents like pointing excitedly and waving
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trying to get your attention.
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And so you're having your briefing with your two hosts, Peter Applewood and Alicia
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Rufford, because you got to have one who's actually a baker and one who's just sort of a
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British comedian.
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And so they're kind of giving you the low down and Peter's like, now I know it might be
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a little intimidating that we've got literal dinosaurs here in the compound with us, but
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I want to assure you this is as safe as possible.
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All of the scientists and architects who have built this place have wanted to make sure
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that we're going to have a good time here.
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And so I mean, I'll just address the velociraptor in the room.
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TREX, I've had many conversations with you at this point and I believe you to be a fine
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individual.
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Yes, well, thank you very much, Mr. Applewood.
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I am very grateful to be here on this show and I'm very excited to show off my baking skills.
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It's something I've worked to perfect for quite some time.
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And Alicia, step forward and says, I must say I am very interested to see what you can do
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with those claws.
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They don't look like they'd be very amenable to holding a whisk.
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You know, that's a common misconception, actually.
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These hands I actually have in essence three opposable thumbs.
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So I can hold things quite well.
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Yes, I will be most excited to see that in action.
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And Dr. Stephen Bond, you are here on special assignment, of course.
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Now, let's see what sort of relationship do Dr. Bond and TREX have being a velociraptor
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specialist and a literal velociraptor?
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I'm very excited about this show.
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I'm very excited to see how a RETTA is able to use his three opposable thumbs, as he
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says.
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I want to see it in action.
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Isn't that right, my friend, TREX?
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We should be able to talk and have so many conversations about this.
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Yes, Dr., it's been wonderful to meet you today for the first time.
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I'm, yes, I would be glad to show you how my thumbs work by beating you in this, actually,
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no, you're not baking, never mind.
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Oh, no, I'm baking.
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The first time, in fact, but tell me, do you taste your cake?
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Yes, naturally.
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I do taste everything that I make as I'm making it.
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Oh, very interesting that Raptors actually can taste things.
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Okay, I'm going to put that down in my journal here.
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Okay.
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I've got some more questions for you, but I'm sure that we need to get moving, so I'm
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just going to keep them to my cell.
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I will confess, I have never successfully tasted the taste that you all call spicy.
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I've never, it simply does not register.
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Oh, spicy does not register, okay?
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Mmm, are they very interesting?
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So, no spicy wrong cake for you, I guess.
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Maybe something more.
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Mmm, measy.
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Yes, perhaps.
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And Paul then turned up, Peter, Peter Applewood, the IP friendly host of the presently proper
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baking competition, turns to Dave Skullcrushren says, now I actually have been quite a fan of
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your work in the ring for some years.
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It's actually in order to have you here in the compound with us today.
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Oh, well, thank you.
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I was almost starting to feel like a bit of a third wheel there with these other two,
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but yes, I'm honored to be here and, you know, just going to bake his best I can and hope
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for the best, you know.
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Yes, well, I'm sure that we'll be very surprised with the things that you can manage to bring
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up for us.
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And we've got a couple other individuals here.
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We can only have six contestants this season, just because of, you know, waivers we are
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to sign and OSHA related things.
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But we've got right over here, young Tommy Tuttam, and he pointed to this six-year-old
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child who has this dinosaur t-shirt with like just T-rexes running all over the place
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playing football.
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And he's like, you're so very excited to be here.
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My mom and dad are going to be so proud of me.
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And we have here Gladia Chittenden-Chomendly, and she's just this very aged kind of hunched
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over old British grand-marm, and she goes, oh yes, you're welcome, so should you be here
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over here.
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And he says, and finally over here, we've got Skag Skags, and he's got a very slouchy
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beanie that is way too big for his head.
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He's just dressed in a hoodie and some ripped up jeans.
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And he goes, yeah, I'm ready to cook and to blow your mind with my delicious things
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you have got here.
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Let's get my favorite.
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Peter Applewood says, well, I'm not looking for too much from you just to be honest right
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off the bat, so you're going to have to do a lot to impress me.
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And with that, they get the camera crew in there, and they start getting the stage set
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up for you.
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You've each got your own table with all of your baking implements there, all of your ingredients.
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They've got the judges tables up near the front, and there is a big massive plexiglass
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wall leading into one of the major holding pens of dinosaur theme land.
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And as you look past this piece of plexiglass, you can see there's stegasores, there's
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stegasores, there's just this vast array of herbivorous dinosaurs on the other side there.
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And occasionally one of them will just kind of stop and turn its head towards you and
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stare as it's swinging its spike tail.
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And young Tommy Tutum, as he sees this, goes to Dr. Stephen Bond and says, it's a very
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exciting dinosaur out there, but it looks a little dangerous.
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Yes, if I'm not mistaken, your table is over there.
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You know, you can just, we're here to bake cakes and all, so maybe you should just go
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back to your table.
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Oh, that's a good idea.
spk_0
I'm just so excited by dinosaurs.
spk_0
It's my favorite thing in the world, and you're an archaeologist.
spk_0
You study dinosaurs for a living, so I thought I might be able to look up to you as a bit
spk_0
of a father figure on this program.
spk_0
Oh, yes, children, they assume so much.
spk_0
Yes, just go to your table and then we'll talk, I don't know, when you become 21 or something.
spk_0
Oh, yes, of course.
spk_0
From my table behind him, I go not much of a father figure or people, person in general,
spk_0
are you me?
spk_0
I have to be glant, no.
spk_0
I am the only one on my breed.
spk_0
What's that supposed to mean?
spk_0
It means that I will never have kids for a very good reason, and I don't travel in packs,
spk_0
I travel by myself.
spk_0
And you know, it's also means that your table's over there, maybe you should keep to yourself.
spk_0
Hey buddy, I'm not sure if you've ever seen the show, but camaraderie between contestants
spk_0
is kind of a thing that producers like to look for, you know, make us look like we're all
spk_0
chums between takes, things like that.
spk_0
Oh, bother.
spk_0
Alright, you are delightful.
spk_0
Have you seen that wrapped over there?
spk_0
Oh, I just was so magnificent.
spk_0
I wonder what you can do with those three opposable thumbs of his.
spk_0
I suppose we're about to see, ain't we?
spk_0
Okay, and as you guys are looking over at Trex, young Tommy two-tum is also staring at
spk_0
Trex very intently, just absolutely floored that his table is next to a real-life legitimate
spk_0
dinosaur, but Trex, the other person who's right next to you is Skag, Skag's, and he is
spk_0
sharpening all of his knives, and he's also sharpening like his spoons and his whisk,
spk_0
and he's just sharpening every single thing that he has in front of his table, and he looks
spk_0
over at you and he says, so I suppose you think you're, you know, hot business and all
spk_0
that being a dinosaur?
spk_0
Oh, I mean, I'm not going to brag, but I am rather unique, and I believe I can bring
spk_0
something unique to the table.
spk_0
Yes, well, you're going to get a lot of ratings, that's for sure, but I just want to let
spk_0
you know, it's my pastries that are going to win in the end.
spk_0
I don't have to rely on the fact that I got three opposable thumbs to get people to like
spk_0
me.
spk_0
I see, yes, I'm sure that with all that sharpening you're doing, you will simply cut right
spk_0
through the competition, and at your joke, you hear laughter from the table behind you,
spk_0
and Gladys Chittenden-Charlman, please, just, haha, it's wrong, keep us coming to you,
spk_0
do you have now?
spk_0
Yes, how are you, Timmy?
spk_0
It's so nice to meet you, and he's got the widest eyes, and he says, I'll change my name
spk_0
from Tommy to Timmy for you, Mr. Trex.
spk_0
Oh, Timmy, I mean, Tommy, Tommy, yes.
spk_0
No, it's Timmy now, I'm not getting a lot better.
spk_0
I'm sorry, you see, I'm quite good at things I can talk, but my memory really isn't quite
spk_0
the best.
spk_0
There wasn't quite enough room, you see.
spk_0
And you see Dr. Stephen Bond going writing it as journalists, he's just like, oh, he
spk_0
can change other people's names at just a mere whisper.
spk_0
And Tommy to Timmy to Timmy now says, oh, well, now I have read in some of my textbooks
spk_0
that for Loster Raptors only have a brain size of a walnut.
spk_0
Yes, it's true, but they manage to rewire enough of it to make me, you know, like this,
spk_0
rather than like my more beastly counterparts.
spk_0
But like I said, not much room for memory, so I write everything down when I can.
spk_0
Yes, I do remember I was reading in the times of the day about the scientist who managed
spk_0
to bring you sapiens.
spk_0
Yes, that's right, Mr. Fortenbraugh, Professor Fortenbraugh, in fact.
spk_0
Yes, he's quite a nice chap.
spk_0
I mean, if he's bringing dinosaurs to be able to speak with little boys like me, I'm
spk_0
a big fan of whoever this individual is.
spk_0
I don't care what the times say about his ulterior motives.
spk_0
Yes, nice enough, nice enough, as I said.
spk_0
I, uh, his ulterior motives, I mean, I personally don't buy into all that because if they were
spk_0
true, then that would say a lot of bad things about me now wouldn't it?
spk_0
Yes, my mum told me that the media is just a government conspiracy to try and bring us
spk_0
down into subjugation.
spk_0
Indeed, Timmy.
spk_0
And at that point, Peter collapses hands from the front of the compound and says, all
spk_0
right, contestants, we're about to have our first competition.
spk_0
So if you could all turn your attention up here for our first bake, we were going to be
spk_0
making what is known as the fattiest pastry in all of Europe, the Queen of Man.
spk_0
This is a cake that is multi-layered, sort of a pastry situation, got so much butter and
spk_0
so much sugar in it that it's guaranteed to give gladiatured and insomnia a heart attack
spk_0
as soon as she tasted it.
spk_0
And she just goes, oh, I should rock her right, go rough and just.
spk_0
And Peter continues to say, now, the things that we're looking for mostly are content of
spk_0
butter and sugar.
spk_0
If you do not have either of enough, then you are not going to do too well in the final
spk_0
grading.
spk_0
We are also looking for a nice separation of pastry layers and a nice sort of golden crust
spk_0
on top.
spk_0
These are the main criterions that we're going to be looking for in this bake.
spk_0
You all have one hour to make five perfect Queen of Man's and Alicia Ruppford holds up
spk_0
what appears to be a safari rifle of sorts.
spk_0
And she says three, two, one, bake.
spk_0
And she fires it into the air and a blast of confetti comes out.
spk_0
And you see as she fires it, all of the dinosaurs on the other side of the plexiglass wall, just
spk_0
start freaking out and running all over the place and slamming into each other.
spk_0
And you hear Peter kind of mumbled to one of the stagehands and says, we might want to
spk_0
get a different indicator of starting the competition.
spk_0
So it doesn't seem to make the dinosaurs too happy.
spk_0
I'd like to invoke Trex's trouble if I can.
spk_0
I'd say that that gunshot also freaks him the heck out.
spk_0
And he just, like, at the sound of the gunshot, turns tail, tail knocking everything off
spk_0
of his own tray, splattering it on other contestants and starts running, jumping over tables toward
spk_0
the back of the room.
spk_0
I was also actually going to invoke my trouble to say that when they shoot that, I was going
spk_0
to reach forward frantically for my stuff and as a clumsy giant, knock it all off my table
spk_0
into Stephen Bond's cooking area.
spk_0
So just to add to all this chaos, as Trex is knocking everything off, I shove like my
spk_0
bowls, spoons, and ingredients forward off the front of my table.
spk_0
All right.
spk_0
You should be going to get a fake point for that.
spk_0
And I'm going to invoke my aspect where as soon as Trex jumps over his table runs
spk_0
way that I immediately troke all my stuff and go chase him.
spk_0
All right.
spk_0
Go ahead and roll to overcome with quick Dr. Bond.
spk_0
Two.
spk_0
Two.
spk_0
You know what?
spk_0
Let's say Trex, go ahead and roll with flashy just to see what kind of number we're
spk_0
up against.
spk_0
That is a zero.
spk_0
All right.
spk_0
So yeah, Dr. Bond, you just drop everything you leap over and you place your hand on top
spk_0
of Trex's head and start stroking him, making these sort of reptile clicking noises and
spk_0
start to soothe Trex down a little bit.
spk_0
You see that my pupils, which have gone like crazy wide, start to just undilate and go
spk_0
back to normal looking Velociraptor pupils.
spk_0
I pull out my pocket, a dead rat and I lift it up and I start doing all right, all right,
spk_0
calm down, calm down.
spk_0
This one's for you and I throw a bit of a right into a space.
spk_0
I snap it right up and start chomping through it and then about like three quarters of the
spk_0
way through the rat come completely to myself and realize what I am doing and through a mouthful
spk_0
of rat I would like to say.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Thank you very much, Professor.
spk_0
But I just, I can't finish this and spit it out on the ground.
spk_0
And where it hits the ground, you see Tommy Tum is standing there and he has his eyes
spk_0
and his mouth completely again and he's just staring at you.
spk_0
Yes, Timmy, Tommy, son, I'm sorry you had to see that.
spk_0
And he says, I'm not and as this is going on, you hear a very aggravated whispers coming
spk_0
from near the judges table and you see Peter Applewood has one of the production managers
spk_0
and he is just shouting as quietly as he can as a production manager and he like takes
spk_0
off his headset and is staring down at the ground and is just nodding solemnly and Peter
spk_0
finishes, claps a hand on the production manager's shoulder and he walks over to the wall
spk_0
that has the plexiglass and he climbs up over the top of it and tosses himself into the
spk_0
dinosaur pen and just starts rushing towards the dinosaurs.
spk_0
And Peter turns to you and says, now we're going to get rid of that hunting rifle.
spk_0
Everything's been taken care of, don't worry about it at all.
spk_0
We're going to reset for this competition and we'll get back to it and we'll say 20
spk_0
minutes and he looks to one of the production managers and says, could you close the curtain
spk_0
in front of the plexiglass wallroaker?
spk_0
We don't want our contestants to see this, especially little Tommy Tummy, too, Tom.
spk_0
And you see there's this giant metal curtain essentially that begins to descend from
spk_0
the top and adjusts as it's about to completely cover up the scene.
spk_0
You see the production manager rushing and he tackles a stegosaurus and the stegosaurus
spk_0
tosses him up into the air and the curtain hits the ground before you're able to see
spk_0
what happens on the other side.
spk_0
Um, Dr. Bond, is that not normal around this park?
spk_0
I don't know, this is my first time being here but I'm definitely very excited.
spk_0
I was able to sue the raptor.
spk_0
My research has been very helpful in this case.
spk_0
Yes, you're still thinking about we just, that guy, he got, all right, all right then.
spk_0
I say, how it's going to be.
spk_0
And scag scag's at this point as he's waiting for the production assistance to reset all
spk_0
of the ingredients at your tables.
spk_0
He comes sidling over to Dave Skull Crusher and he says, so how are we going to sabotage
spk_0
this competition?
spk_0
I'm sorry, what?
spk_0
Well, I mean, you're a big rough man.
spk_0
I'm a small rough man.
spk_0
One of these guys has to lose today and we're going to make it happen.
spk_0
So which one are we kicking out?
spk_0
Not sure if I'd really call you rough but I don't, I mean, okay, okay.
spk_0
Well, you know, I may be small but I've got a bit of scrapping, it's Tummy.
spk_0
Okay, if you say so, sure.
spk_0
But I just, this whole competition's gotten very out of hand very fast and I don't really
spk_0
know how to move forward.
spk_0
I mean, I'm not really the sabotaging type.
spk_0
I just, I like to bake.
spk_0
I just do the UFC thing or the MMA thing, I'd be friendly.
spk_0
As a, I don't know, the side thing, you know, just keep myself in shape.
spk_0
Well, you know, every reality shows got to have a bit of tension in it, don't it?
spk_0
It's got to be a villain and I think we'd make a good pair.
spk_0
Now you see that, Glowly, Chittin' and Chomdly over there, she's in Newsy Mark.
spk_0
She can hardly speak.
spk_0
We get her out of this place.
spk_0
I think that'll be a nice, easy sort of situation.
spk_0
And if I answer us up in the ratings, one lesser person to worry about.
spk_0
Are you really saying that we should target a grandma to try and get out of this show?
spk_0
Well, I don't want to be targeting a philosopher after quite yet.
spk_0
I need to spend some more time observing his movements, learning more about how he ticks
spk_0
before I try and tick on those three opposable thumbs.
spk_0
So you're telling me when you look around this tent, you don't like to target the philosopher
spk_0
after you don't like to target me.
spk_0
So your three choices are between a small child, a grandmother, and then a professor who
spk_0
doesn't even seem to want to be here.
spk_0
And your first choice is the grandma, not the professor.
spk_0
Well, we need to get a nice tear jerker, don't we?
spk_0
People cry the hardest when the old people are kicked off of this show.
spk_0
So we get to start out with the nice bang right off the bat.
spk_0
And you're trying to make people cry?
spk_0
Yes, that's what this show is really about.
spk_0
People think that they're coming here for the comradery and all of the good, fluffy feelings.
spk_0
But those Americans all they really want to see is cut throat and skull duggery.
spk_0
What's your plan then?
spk_0
Well, grow your chitin' and charmingly, I've noticed her glasses are pretty thick.
spk_0
And sugar looks an awful lot like salt, don't it?
spk_0
So then what do you need me for?
spk_0
Can't you just switch the sugar with salt and young?
spk_0
Well, I can do that, but I need something to distract her.
spk_0
I have the philosopher app to do a trick or something.
spk_0
Well, the philosopher app is not the one that I'm going to offer 1,000 pounds sterling
spk_0
to in order to throw this competition.
spk_0
1,000 pounds sterling just to throw.
spk_0
Yeah, and there's more where that came from if you continue to help me in this show.
spk_0
But what about the amount of money I get if I win?
spk_0
Oh, that's negligible.
spk_0
Yeah, when it comes down to the very end, it'll be a real decent competition between just
spk_0
you and me.
spk_0
We'll see who's the better baker.
spk_0
But along the way, if you can make a few extra quid to line your pockets, take out a few
spk_0
innocuous people, then I think we've got a nice situation in front of us.
spk_0
Is there any way for me to like, roll to see whether I decide to go with this or not?
spk_0
Because I'm kind of torn.
spk_0
You can roll if you would like to.
spk_0
I'll say, if you want to leave it up to the dice, go ahead and roll clever.
spk_0
I'll roll forceful for him because of this argument that he's making and we'll see who
spk_0
gets the higher result.
spk_0
I evened out at zero.
spk_0
Dude, he also evened out at zero.
spk_0
Oh, the dice were now help.
spk_0
But you know what?
spk_0
I am going to compel your aspect, keeping up appearances.
spk_0
Not only do you have a family to impress, but you've got some rough and tumble MMA fighters
spk_0
who you also need to impress.
spk_0
Hmm, so I would go along with it?
spk_0
Yep.
spk_0
You get one more fapepoint unless you want to spend one of your fapepoints to try and resist.
spk_0
No, I'll take it.
spk_0
But I'm not going to tell him, I'll just say, well, I guess just wait until the next
spk_0
round and we'll see what happens.
spk_0
Alright, and at that point, Peter Apple would once again clap to his hand and say, alright,
spk_0
let's do take two this time for real.
spk_0
We do not have a hunting rifle anymore.
spk_0
We just have this nice flag that Alicia's going to wave and that's how you know it's
spk_0
time to start.
spk_0
So Queen of Man, everybody, the fattiest pastry in all of Europe and he turns to Alicia
spk_0
Ruppford and she says, three, two, one, and she waves the flag and it is time to begin
spk_0
your bake off.
spk_0
So let's go ahead and get into initiative for this.
spk_0
Everybody roll with clever.
spk_0
That is a five for treks.
spk_0
Wow, that's a plus one for me.
spk_0
And zero.
spk_0
Alright, so we're going to start with treks, then go to Dave, then Dr. Bond.
spk_0
So treks, you have a bunch of ingredients here in front of you.
spk_0
How would you like to begin your bake?
spk_0
Alright, so with my three opposable thumbs on each hand, I'd like to grab my big old bowl
spk_0
and just start dumping sugar and butter into my bowl.
spk_0
Alright, go ahead and roll with clever to see how well you're able to discern what
spk_0
sort of recipe you should be making.
spk_0
That's a two.
spk_0
A two, alright, so you're off to a good start.
spk_0
Cream the butter with the sugar.
spk_0
You're going to have to get some flour in there to make the pastry as well, but you're
spk_0
off to a pretty good start there.
spk_0
Let's go to Dave's skull crusher.
spk_0
How would you like to begin your bake?
spk_0
I would like to, I'm not sure if I would technically invoke my trouble, but I'd like to walk past
spk_0
the table of gladiate and I'd like to feign clumsiness since I've already demonstrated
spk_0
that in the first round and fall forward and knock her sugar bowl off her baking table.
spk_0
Alright.
spk_0
I'm not sure how much I can fit into one turn, but after that I'd like to offer to refill
spk_0
it.
spk_0
Okay, go ahead and roll with sneaky.
spk_0
She's going to roll with careful to see if she can see what's going on.
spk_0
Got a zero.
spk_0
She also got a zero.
spk_0
You can go ahead and spend a fake point to invoke your clumsy giant aspect to try and
spk_0
win this if you want.
spk_0
Yes please.
spk_0
Alright, so you accomplish your goal, nothing else flashy beyond that, but no drawbacks that
spk_0
happen either.
spk_0
So as you stumble, gladia turns to you and she kind of leans to pick you up and says,
spk_0
Oh well you're the laddie boy, she's like a rocker, a dumb bump, could own the flap
spk_0
down.
spk_0
Yeah, I mean, whatever you just said, I'm so sorry though, would you like me to refill
spk_0
your sugar bowl for you?
spk_0
I'm just going to do it, okay?
spk_0
And do you refill it with sugar or with salt?
spk_0
I refill it with salt.
spk_0
Evan is a player, feels very, very guilty about this.
spk_0
You lifted up to the dice.
spk_0
I did it, I did.
spk_0
As you complete this, scag, scags look so over you and just gives you a slow wink, like
spk_0
way too slow of a wink.
spk_0
And I just like kind of stare at him wide eyed for a second and then just like, for
spk_0
all my eyebrows and shake my head a little bit like what are you doing and then turn
spk_0
around and go put the bowl back.
spk_0
Alright, that brings us to Dr. Bond, how would you like to begin your bake?
spk_0
Well, I am actually cleaning up my area, making sure everything is back to where it's
spk_0
supposed to be and I'm taking that little broom that I have in my pocket and just kind
spk_0
of sweeping off all the stuff that got everywhere.
spk_0
And I spend a good five minutes doing that.
spk_0
Alright, and as you look up here, like noticing Peter Applewood and Alicia Rutland, they're
spk_0
kind of looking at you and whispering back and forth and pointing in your direction, but
spk_0
you can't make out what they're saying, but you manage to get your space all nice and
spk_0
tidy.
spk_0
And then I do what he said.
spk_0
He said butter and sugar or something like that and then I'm just like, I guess they
spk_0
go together and I just put them in the bowl together and just start beating it.
spk_0
Alright, go ahead and roll with Clever.
spk_0
Two.
spk_0
Alright, yeah.
spk_0
You're watching treks very closely, as you always do, and you're kind of copying what
spk_0
he's doing.
spk_0
Like, oh, cream the sugar with the butter, mix in the flour.
spk_0
That's how you get the dough and you're off to a pretty good start.
spk_0
So we're going to see how some of the other contestants start to do.
spk_0
I'll start with Timmy Tommy Tuton.
spk_0
He is trying to reach up to grab the bowl and like whisk inside of it.
spk_0
He is trying to avoid using the step stool that they provided for him because he wants
spk_0
to look like a big boy.
spk_0
So he is going to roll to see how low he's doing.
spk_0
Wow, he got a plus three.
spk_0
This PA is trying to get him to stand on the stool and he's like, yeah, look, I could
spk_0
go.
spk_0
Yes, just look at sea.
spk_0
And he's just perfectly incorporating the sugar into the butter.
spk_0
And he's got a very good dough that he's starting off with.
spk_0
Let's go to Gladia Chittin didn't shalmently.
spk_0
She starts mixing.
spk_0
Ooh, she got a minus two.
spk_0
She has the butter in there and Dave, you see that she picks up the sugar bowl that
spk_0
you've refilled with salt.
spk_0
And she just dumps the entire thing straight in there without even trying to measure anything.
spk_0
And she just starts mixing and mixing and mixing.
spk_0
Then we go to Skag Skags.
spk_0
He gets a minus one, unfortunately.
spk_0
So he starts mixing some stuff in and you hear him cursing.
spk_0
He's managed to mix the butter so the pieces are too fine.
spk_0
He's not going to get good lamination as he's making the dough.
spk_0
So that's going to bring us to the next round.
spk_0
We'll say that you guys are about 15 minutes into the competition.
spk_0
You've got 45 minutes left.
spk_0
At this point, you've got your dough pretty nice and incorporated.
spk_0
Let's go back to Trex.
spk_0
What would you like to do at this point?
spk_0
At this point, I'd like to invoke my stunt, opening doors and bring forward my bowl of
spk_0
flour and butter and sugar and that is it to the judges and say, listen, I believe that
spk_0
just simply because I am my will also raptor, this is quite good enough for me.
spk_0
I mean, don't you think this looks beautiful?
spk_0
Uh, because you're invoking your stunt, I'm going to say roll with flashy but with
spk_0
advantage, even though advantage technically doesn't exist in this game.
spk_0
That is a plus one.
spk_0
Can I use a f8 point to push it over like by a couple points or something?
spk_0
You may.
spk_0
Yeah, I'm going to use, can I only use one at a time?
spk_0
You can pile on as many f8 points as you would like but you can only use each aspect
spk_0
once per roll.
spk_0
So if I wanted to slap two f8 points onto this to make it like a plus five instead, could
spk_0
I do that?
spk_0
Yeah, so which aspects would you like to invoke and how would you like to invoke them?
spk_0
I would like to invoke my killer instinct to maybe put a little bit of intimidation into
spk_0
this as well.
spk_0
And then I'd like to invoke my DNA experiment aspect to call upon all of the wit and intellect
spk_0
that was given to me to be as persuasive as possible.
spk_0
All right, so you spend two f8 points.
spk_0
You bump that up to a plus five and Peter and Alicia look at your bowl.
spk_0
They look at each other.
spk_0
They look back at you and they see like one of the rats' feet is still stuck between
spk_0
two of your teeth and Alicia says, I think that sounds delightful.
spk_0
No, too, Peter.
spk_0
And Peter says, oh yes, yes, of course.
spk_0
Mr. Trex, we're so delighted to have you on the show.
spk_0
You're going to bring us great ratings.
spk_0
I think this will be sufficient.
spk_0
Yes, thank you.
spk_0
Thank you.
spk_0
Thank you very much.
spk_0
And I will go and sit back down.
spk_0
All right.
spk_0
Done in round two.
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That brings us to Dave's skull crusher.
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What would you like to do?
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You have not actually begun your bake yet.
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You've just been sabotaging this whole time.
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Yes, so now that I'm done with that, I'd like to go back and begin work as quick as possible.
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And yeah, I'll just roll for my bake like I've rune else did.
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All right, let's have you roll with quick.
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You're a little bit behind, so you have to make up some time, so go ahead and roll with
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quick to see what you get.
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I can use a f8 point to do a re-roll, right?
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Yep.
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Okay, I'm indefinitely going to do that.
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Oh, and I got even worse.
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Which aspect are you invoking to use your f8 point?
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So can I invoke just our high-age level aspect, the crushing crumpeter?
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Yeah, you can be like, man, I really have to prove myself.
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This is my chance to show my parents that I can actually do what they hoped I'd be able
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to do, so you can go ahead and invoke that if you'd like to.
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Okay, so that's a minus one.
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A minus one.
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All right.
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So you just kind of throw everything into the bowl at once.
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You've never seen a queen of mom before.
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You just start mixing indiscriminately and by the end of it, you know, you've got what
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looks like some dough.
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Great.
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That brings us to Dr. Bond.
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What would you like to do?
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Um, at this point, I have put my bowl down and I've been watching treks and writing
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notes.
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Noticing that he went up and intimidated the judges with his bowl of sugar and butter
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and thought to myself, hmmm.
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So his taste is just sugar and butter and that's all he needs that I cake.
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Oh, fascinating.
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And then I just make sugar and butter cake.
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All right.
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Go ahead and roll clever to see how well you do.
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Two.
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All right.
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So not too bad.
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You pull out one of the pans.
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You scoop the batter into it and start it baking.
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Let's see how everybody else is doing.
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Timmy Tommy, two Tom.
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He gets a plus one.
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So his rolling isn't as good as he would like it to be.
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He's having a bit of a hard time getting an even lamination throughout the layers.
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But he cuts it up into the different squares, puts them into the muffin tins and starts
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sprinkling some demorara sugar on top to give a nice little bit of crunch and color.
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Let's go to Gladietch and Inchalmendly.
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She gets a plus one also.
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So she is focusing on the looks.
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She has not tasted a single thing to see if anything is going wrong.
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But she's setting her queen of mons into their little trays individually as well.
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And Skag, Skag gets a minus two.
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Holy cow.
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He is really not doing good.
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He just like takes the entire piece of dough and puts it into a sheet pan.
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He's trying to make bar cookies it looks like and he starts that baking.
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So we're going to speed through the baking process here and Alicia stands up with the flag
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and starts waving and says, time is up for this competition.
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Everybody bring your five perfect queen of mons up to the judges table.
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And you see all of the other contestants have their things that they've been making
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and a Skag, Skag looks down at his big bar of dough and quickly slices it into five pieces
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and puts them on a tray.
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They start placing them in front of the judges.
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So Dr. Bond, you've been just making kind of a nice cake.
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So you kind of cut that into five pieces and bring it up for them.
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Dave Skullcrusher, you've been a little bit more judicious in the way you've done yours.
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You do have five individual pieces and tracks.
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I mean, you're already done.
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You already got yours finished.
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That's right.
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All of your bakes are in front of the judges at this point and they start tasting them.
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They're going to start with Timmy Tommy Tutum and they each take a bite and Peter says,
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now you've got a lovely flavour but there's not quite as much lift between the individual layers
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of the pastries we would like.
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However, you've got a very nice ratio of sugar to butter.
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A nice bit of salt in there is well to kind of bounce it out.
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This is a very well done bake, especially for somebody of your age.
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And he just gives us a little nod and smiles and steps back.
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They go next to scag scags and Peter says, now you've obviously never seen a Queen of Man before.
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That is understandable.
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Let's see how it tastes at least and he bites into it and he says,
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you do have a nice texture, a good bit of lamination there.
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A nice crunch going into the pastry but also a nice softness and chew on the end as well.
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Looks like absolute bollocks but tastes pretty good.
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At this point he's going to go to Dr. Stephen Bond.
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He says, now this is not a pastry, this is a cake.
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Let's see how it tastes at least.
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He takes a bite and says, now that is rich.
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That is very rich.
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Maybe just a slight bit too rich but still you've made a nice cake.
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It is not a Queen of Man.
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I don't want to reiterate that but it does taste pretty good.
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He goes next to Dave's skull crusher, takes a bite of one of yours and says,
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all right, it actually looks like a Queen of Man is supposed to look, doesn't taste very
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great. It's a bit dry, don't have enough butter in there I'm afraid, but you're still doing a lot
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better than some people.
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Can I invoke my persuasive pastries stunt to make him just a little bit nicer to me about my poor
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pastries? You may. So you invoke your stunt and he sees you hang your head down and for a moment
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his judge like harshness softens a little bit and he says, now you didn't get quite enough
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butter but you did manage to get just the right amount of sugar. I noticed you've got sprinkling
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on top as well to get that nice golden crust on the top. It's a good texture on the outside.
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The inside could use a little bit of help but it is a good back.
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Thank you and I step back.
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Then we get to Trex's bake. He reaches in with a finger and just scoops out a big heaping of
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butter and just kind of stairs of Trex for a moment.
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Yes, it should be absolutely delicious and you did tell me that I was done so.
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And he nods and Alicia goes and whispers something into his ear real quick. Any of you who would like
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to can go ahead and roll with careful to see if you can see what Alicia is saying.
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Four. I also got a four. I got a zero. We should see my history on the website of my rolls.
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It's like minus two minus one zero zero.
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Yes, so Trex and Dr Bond, you can hear her whispering. She says,
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we can't eliminate the phrylosaraptah he's bringing in the ratings.
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And Paul just nods his head kind of solemnly and places this big heap of wet batter into his mouth
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and he's kind of chewing on it for a bit and he looks towards you and says, very buttery,
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very sugary. Those are the trademarks of a good quenamon and he just moves on to the next one.
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Oh yes, thank you so much. And then he finally arrives at Gladia Chittenden-Charlman-Lee's
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bake and he says, now these look absolutely stunning. The golden brown crust is absolutely perfect.
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The sprinkling on top is nice. I can see the lift and the separation between the layers.
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This looks like it's going to be a perfect quenamon. This might be the best of the bunch and he
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tears it apart and you can see the steam come out and he takes a bite and the incident
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touches his tongue. He just tosses it across the compound and it splats into the other wall and he
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says, this is a travesty. This is an absolute joke. I don't know what you're thinking you're doing
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here. Gladia Chittenden-Charlman-Lee but it's not funny, whatever it is. And she just goes,
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oh but you know, it's a gimp at all. It's up the Bumbley Half-Pike. And he says, yes, I know,
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but that doesn't mean that you have baked anything that is worth tasting or even existing on this
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planet. Gladia Chittenden-Charlman-Lee, I know I need to spend some time liberating with my fellow
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judge but it's not looking good for you at all. I'm just going to let you know that and she kind of
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slinks back with her head hung dejectedly and Dave's gag, scag's looks over you and gives you
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another one of those very slow winks and you see the two judges leave the compound for a moment.
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And as the judges are gone, you're looking out kind of into the larger pen where the dinosaurs are.
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You can see there's a couple of the theme park workers in there. They're wearing like hazmat suits
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and they're just spraying something off the ground. But all of the PAs are like, okay, we've got
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a bit of free time now. You can talk amongst yourselves if you would like. Try and relax a little bit
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before you get your final rankings. And scag, scag's goes sautering his way over to Dave and just holds
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up his hand for a fist bump and doesn't say anything. Glad be honest, I feel a little sick.
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Well, not as sick as Peter Applewood was looking after he tasted that Queen of Man. You done good friend.
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I've done bad. That's really bad. I sabotaged a poor old lady's bake and a baking competition.
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Well, let's see if this can suit the pain and he just pulls out 10, 100 pound notes from his pocket
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and hands them towards you. You just had this on you already. That's how I do.
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All right, but then I take the word and I say that's the last time. I'm not helping you in the next
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round. We'll see. And he looks over it to me, tell me to Tom and smirks and walks back to his table.
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I'd like to walk over to Dave and say this, that was the first time I'd ever seen. That's sort of a
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a thing I'd like to try it. And I hold out my three opposable thumbs in a ball for a fist bump.
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Yeah, sure. All right. And I fist bump him. That was quite pleasant. Yeah, well, I just wonder
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enough. I've been meaning to ask you. How long have you been alive? And I guess how long have you
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been intelligent? Oh, yes, I'm three years old as Velociraptors go, which is full-grown adult.
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And as far as the sapiens that was granted to me three months. So did you just like,
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did you have to learn things for the past three months? Like were you kind of comparable to a human
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baby having to figure everything out? Or did you just kind of burst into this wave of knowledge?
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I just kind of burst into this wave of knowledge, really. It's, um, it was all there. I have learned
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other things since, but like I've said before, my memory is not quite the best. So some of the things
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that I've learned haven't quite stuck. It's very, very strange. Well, I'm honored to meet a
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cinchion philosopher. Didn't expect that to happen when I signed up for the show. I thought I'd be on
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a normal season, but you know, parents said I had to sign the waiver and come since I'd been accepted.
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So here I am. Are you saying I'm not normal? I'm saying there's not many types like you were
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on from. You're probably normal around these parts. I'd like to invoke my trouble and take
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offense to that. Ooh, one more fake point for treks. And I'd like to pin Dave down with one
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of my massive Velociraptor claws, try to pin him to the floor. Can I invoke like my, I don't know,
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would it be my crushing crumpeter to invoke my MMA background to like fight back? So yeah, both of you
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go ahead and roll opposing forceful checks. And then if you would like to spend fake points to
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invoke those aspects to try and get a better result, you may do so. Okay, cool. That is a
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three. That's a plus five. Whoa shoot. I just gained a fake point. So I think I have two more.
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You know what, I'm just gonna take the hit. I will lose this round. Uh, Ned, I would like to still
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invoke my fake point so that I succeed with more than plus three. Oh boy. Yeah, shoot. So you
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succeeding with style, not only get what you want, but you also generate a boost. A boost is a one
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use aspect that you can call on at any point during the game. And so this boost that I'm going to
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offer you will be called the dinosaur nose its place. Okay. So at any point throughout the game,
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if you want to invoke that for free to get a better result for your role, you may do so
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after which it will disappear. Okay. This whole time Dr. Bond has been video taping this.
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So I'm picturing I bring my foot up angrily to pin him down by the chest and he just grabs my
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foot and twists it around and gets my one big claw in a lock behind my back. Sorry mate. It's a,
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it's just reactionary at this point. Yes, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just,
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yes, I'm so sorry. It's all right. I'm letting you go. Just stay calm and I let go. All right,
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after all this is finished, Peter Applewood and Alicia Rufford walk back into the compound and
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they say, well, we've had some very good bakes here today, but we've also had some very, very bad
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bakes on the parade. So Gladia, what you gave us was absolute rubbish and that is unforgivable
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on the parade that you will be leaving today. And she just bursts into tears and she rushes towards
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the plexigas wall to try and climb over and a couple of the PAs grab her and wrestle her back and
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remove her from the compound and Peter says, now I'm sure that was unpleasant for all of us,
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but however we do need to still crown today's star Baker and the person that we are going to give
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today's star Baker reward to is Timmy Tommy, two time. He provided an absolutely wonderful
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bake for us. It wasn't as amazing as it could be. I will say that, but it was very, very good.
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And Timmy Tommy is just beaming with joy and he rushes up as if he's going to give Peter Applewood
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a hug, but Peter snaps his fingers and one of the PAs comes and grabs him before he can make
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contact and Timmy Tommy, two times just like, I'm so old, my mom and dad, you can't be so proud.
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And Dave, you look over and you see Skag Skag is just smirking as he's watching Timmy Tommy,
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two times accepting this award. And Peter says, thank you all for joining us for today's competition,
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go out and get some rest and tomorrow we'll wake up, right now, we'll fall on next bake
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and all of the cameras cut and stop rolling and you guys are now free to go about and do whatever
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you would like. I'd like to take an opposable thumb handful of my gloppy mixture and throw it at
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Peter Applewood's face. Go ahead and roll with sneaky. That's a one. He got a minus three. He is
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very much not paying attention. It smacks him right on the side of the face and he turns and he
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makes as if he's going to try and rush you, but Patricia grabs him by the coat tail and leans him
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in close and she whispers something into his ear and his face kind of goes white and he nods and he
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says, very funny, Trex, very funny, you're going to get us all the good writings.
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Don't I know it? And he begins to wipe off his face and just storms out of the compound and
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Alicia follows after him. You guys go about your business. The next competition isn't going to be
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until tomorrow and I think that is a good place to wrap for this week's episode of Improv
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Tabletop. Thank you all for listening, looking forward to seeing what other sort of shenanigans and
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canary our characters get up to next time. So again, thank you for listening. Some things to
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plug. We have a sort of sister podcast called I cast Fireball in which I play a cobalt Druid. It's
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going really well. I'd encourage you to listen to that. Also, I am going to be doing a weeklong trip
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where I climb to the highest peak in every state. I can only get a week off from work. So I'm going
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to try and get about 10 states per day. If everything goes well, the next time you hear from me,
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I will be recording from the top of Jeremiah Thil, which is the highest peak in Rhode Island at 811
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feet above sea level. You can follow that at 50 PeaksOneWeek.blogspot.com.
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Careful, don't get caught up on time in Florida. It's 300 feet above sea level, so it can be quite
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quite a hike. Shoot, yeah, that one's going to be tough, but I'm not worried about Denali. I think
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that's going to be a real chill time. Yeah, that one should be good. You can practically drive
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there. Caleb, you have anything you would like to plug? Yeah, coming towards the end of production
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on No King No Country, which is a historical novel that I am narrating. Look for that on
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Audible, probably sometime around January. Nice. Evan, anything for you? My next performance
spk_0
art piece is going to be out of Toronto, Canada. I'm going to dress like the statue of Liberty,
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but in red and holding a bottle of maple syrup, and I'm going to pour it on my head as slowly
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as possible while standing on the busiest street corner in Toronto. Nice. Yeah, I'm excited to
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come and see that. I've always wanted to visit, you know, honest ads and Casa Loma, all of the great
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locations from Scot Polar versus the world. So I'm glad I have this opportunity to finally go and
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do that. Yeah, there you go. Come and see me. Evan, your performance art pieces are always so
spk_0
thought-provoking and inspiring. Thank you. I'll be tweeting out some GPS coordinates, which
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will lead you to a geocache with the actual street corner I'll be on. So you can either get lucky
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and find me on the corner or go on the hunt. Nice. JP, anything that you would like to plug?
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I'm going to be watching the latest episode of The Mandalorian and live tweeting it, but I don't
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ever talk during movies, so it's not going to say anything. So you're live tweeting it, but you're
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not actually going to tweet it. That is correct. It's going to be too good. You don't want to take
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your eyes away from what the Mando is doing to be tweeting. It's just too riveting. For sure.
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Well, once again, thank you all for listening. We will be right back here next week with more
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adventures in Jurassic Bake Off. I have been your host NGM Ned Wilcock and I've been joined today by
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Kayla Bandertine, your resident rap tour. Evan Peterson, the buff one. And JP, the one that
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just is out of place. Much love and stuff will catch you next week.
Topics Covered
Improv Table Top
FATRPG actual play
Great British Baking Show
Jurassic Park theme
baking and dinosaurs
geocaching
dinosaur trivia
heavyweight MMA fighter
baking competition
Pleasantly Proper Baking Competition
dinosaur-themed competition
character creation
actual play podcast
funny podcast
improvisational storytelling