Technology
It’s Okay to Be Yourself with Baylen Dupree
In this episode of Messy, hosts Christina Applegate and Jamie Lynn Sigmund welcome Baylen Dupree, a young advocate living with Tourette syndrome. The conversation delves into Baylen's journey, he...
It’s Okay to Be Yourself with Baylen Dupree
Technology •
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Interactive Transcript
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Hi, I'm Christina Applegate.
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And I'm Jamie Lynn Sigmund.
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And this is Messy.
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Hello, people in the world.
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Welcome to Messy.
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My name is Christina.
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No middle name, Applegate.
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And I am joined, obviously, by my.
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Better half.
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Well, debate about, but yes, this is Jamie middle name Lynn Sigmund.
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I'm not a regular.
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Wait, you're in this your middle name.
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Why do we always have to put it on the things?
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We don't. This is the thing.
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This is something that was decided when I was a child actor that I've, you know,
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not been able to drop.
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But we don't need to talk about this right now because our podcast today is not about me.
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It's actually not about us.
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We have an incredible guest, Christina.
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Don't we?
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I was introduced to this person via my television that just started to play something.
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This incredible young woman.
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And I'm going to start to cry.
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So I'm going to have I'm going to start to cry because I'm so excited about this.
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Jamie, will you talk a little bit?
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Of course.
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So Christina did introduce me to this woman that we have today.
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Her name is Balan.
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Balan Dupree.
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And if you don't know about her, well, we are happy to introduce you to her.
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She is a young woman living with Tourette syndrome.
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She has been so open and generous in sharing her life and what it's like to live with Tourette's
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erasing stigmas, not letting it define her.
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And we are so grateful to her for her heart and her generosity with her life and her sharing her time with us here today.
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Did you just call me a dick, Balan?
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No.
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I would never.
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She would never.
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Well, please welcome Balan Dupree.
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I don't even need to introduce her anymore because we need to want to get to this conversation.
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Welcome, Balan to messy.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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I'm just as excited as you guys to have me on and talk to you guys.
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Thank you so much.
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How do you even know because we're very old and you're very young.
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The fact that you even know who we are is amazing to me because I feel like there's a generation.
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It's just like skips like.
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What?
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I mean, that is my generation, but I mean, I know who you guys are.
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Thanks, girl.
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Well, Christina, do you want to start with our favorite question that we ask our debt?
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Our guests to kick it off?
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Mmm.
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Yeah.
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I'm sorry you had to do the intro because I just started to cry because I'm so balan.
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The reason I started to cry is because I freaking love you so much that.
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I've watched your journey and your openness of letting the cameras into your life and.
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Everything I just I love you.
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I just love you very, very, very, very much.
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Okay, so we do this thing where I ask our guests and this is this is across the board for everybody.
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If you could close your eyes or don't or metaphorically close your eyes and look down at eight year old balan's feet, what shoes was she wearing, what shows was she watching, what music were you listening to?
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Who is eight year old or seven year old or some kind of specific time in your life?
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Like, who can you see it?
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Can you see it in your mind?
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So I remember being eight years old and we would go to Brockville gymnastics, which is in Canada.
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And the girl asked me to is like, so what song do we want to listen to?
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And I'm like 10 years old right now.
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And I'm like, let's listen to whistle.
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That's my favorite song.
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What's whistle?
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By flow by flow, right?
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Where is like you can blow my.
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I'm so old.
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I was like, you went to Florida and you whistled.
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That's what my head said.
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Sorry.
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Go ahead.
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So I'm like this 10 year old saying that like my favorite song is whistle, which is like an extremely inappropriate song.
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So my favorite music at the time was very inappropriate music.
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And looking at little eight year old balan, like, I'm, I'm just this little girl and sketchers that light up with like,
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like, justice everywhere.
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Like, I, I loved a good, liking short combo.
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At the time.
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Cute.
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I do too.
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Still, I don't know what that says about me.
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What is that?
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I need a picture.
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Someone sent me a picture of a legging short combo, because I don't even know what that means.
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I totally know what you're saying.
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Yes, I used to wear that every day in elementary school.
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It used to be like black leggings, pink leggings, orange leggings, purple leggings with jean shorts.
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Did you have an idea when you were a little like, you know, when we're all little like what you want to be when you grow up.
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Did you have thoughts about that at eight years old?
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I wanted to be a teacher.
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You did.
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I wanted to be a teacher back little old balan.
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I love that.
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Any kind of specific kind of teacher?
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Probably like a younger kid teacher.
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Yeah.
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Like one of the where I work with like little kids.
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I really, really like that when I was that age.
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Yeah.
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I can understand that.
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So when did your when did Tourette start to enter into your life?
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When did symptoms start to present themselves?
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How old were you?
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And what did it look like?
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I would say I was quite frankly very young.
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I was like maybe seven.
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Seven six somewhere around that range.
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They didn't really for Tourette's free to be diagnosed with Tourette's.
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You have to have both motor and vocal ticks.
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And at the time I thought I was just like every seven year old kid.
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Like just make a noise.
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Just moving my head a certain way.
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Like certain things like that.
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And then I like didn't notice it at all.
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I didn't have an impact my life until about I was like 15 years old.
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And.
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That's kind of when the symptoms started again.
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And then I was like I don't need a diagnosis like it doesn't impact my life that much.
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And then I kept getting like more annoyed and more confused and just like very agitated with myself.
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Because I didn't really know what was going on.
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And I didn't really know how to express it to others when people asked me why am I making this noise or why am I doing this.
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So then COVID happened.
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And we went virtually.
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And that's when my text really, really picked up.
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Because when you think about it, COVID is can be good for a lot of people.
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Like people either had a positive experience during COVID or they had a negative experience during COVID.
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And I'm like a social butterfly.
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I love being around people.
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Balan, honestly, I don't think any of us had a great time.
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Some people were like, I did exercises every day.
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I had a mess during it.
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Like honestly, like, you know, like the experience of that is just.
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To everyone out there, COVID was not amazing for everyone.
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Yeah.
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So you were very social.
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So to have that be taken away from you was probably super stressful.
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That and I learned on a schedule.
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So going to school, waking up, going class to class, doing all that.
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And then at home, we would go like, like we would be on a computer.
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And then I broke my brother's computer because I kept smashing it.
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So then that turned into like a trigger that set back my learning that set back me going to school.
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Like all those things.
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So is that when you got a more formal diagnosis?
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Yes, that is when I went to the doctor.
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And before COVID, I got a diagnosis before COVID.
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And then COVID happened.
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And he looked at me and he goes, I have no idea what you have.
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You like you don't have Tourette.
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You have this, this, this, this, this, and this.
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And then he goes, he's, he pointed to my mom.
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My mom's sitting in the room and he goes, look at her.
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She can't do anything.
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She can't go to school. She can't work.
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She can't drive.
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She shouldn't even be in public.
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So that when.
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Wait, when.
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Bayling, can I ask you a question?
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I'm so sorry to interrupt.
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Yeah.
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But this is all like in the last freaking five years, because that's.
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So before that, there was no recognition of what you had prior to that.
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No, so it's kind of like, let's kind of like my dad described.
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Like when he went to school, I struggled a lot with learning.
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I was held back in first grade.
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Okay.
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Those types of things.
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But then like my dad said, like as a parent, and your kid goes to school for seven out of the 12 hours out of the day, you don't really get to see a lot of your kid.
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And then they're at home during COVID and you pick up on all of these things and all these little quirks.
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So you just start noticing it more.
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Why do you think this doctor would not, well, first of all, said all of those terrible things,
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which I'm so sorry that happened.
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I can't imagine how painful that was for you and your mom to be across from somebody saying something like that.
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And somebody that you go to for, you know, to take care of you.
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That's right for help.
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But why would he have not diagnosed you or said that you had Tourette's?
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Because he is a neurologist that specializes in epilepsy.
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And that's what he told me when he left the room, he was like,
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I can't give you a diagnosis of anything because I don't specialize in this.
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I'm sorry that you came here, but I will never see you again as a patient.
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Oh, thank goodness.
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Thank goodness that you never had to see that guy again.
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So do you think that being a new routine of school sort of?
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And I don't know much about Tourette's distrets get directly affected by stress or change of like environment or nervous system where things could be exacerbated.
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Like us with MS sometimes think like symptoms and things can get worse when your, you are, you're not feeling quote unquote safe.
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You know what I mean?
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Yes. So triggers obviously depend on the person that has Tourette.
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So for example, I have a lot of triggers that come from my mood.
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So I also have an imbalance with my mood and I struggle with that.
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So making sure that my mood is 100% rational makes my tics more stable.
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So what I mean by that is when I'm super, super excited.
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Like for example, if Colin were to come home from work and be like,
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you want to go on a date, I'd be like, oh my god, yes.
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But then my tics would skyrocket.
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But then if I'm sad, my tics debt like are so far down that like,
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I, it's like non-existent to like this, to like a person.
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So it kind of depends stress makes my tics worse and anxiety makes my tics worse.
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It depends on the environment.
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Like if I were to go into a sports game and I were to like be during the national anthem where everyone's quiet.
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It makes my tics want to like go on a rampage.
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And then it makes, and then it makes me feel super, super uncomfortable because as we're trying to sit there and be quiet,
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I can't stop ticking.
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And then it makes me go into actually want to go into the fetal position and cry.
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So I just avoid that trigger.
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So just learning what the trigger is to avoid it and then work around it.
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I kind of want to be with you every time that happens.
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I kind of want to like sit next to you every time things like that happen.
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When you got the diagnosis of Tourette, did that, how did that change for you?
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Did you feel, I hope you had hope, I was wondering.
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My doctor, we flew to the Mayo Clinic to get a diagnosis.
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She looked at me and she says, I have seen thousands of people like you, people that have this condition,
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and people that suffer from it.
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And I am telling you that I see hope in your future with the right doctors, the right treatment, the right medication,
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the right way of learning yourself and learning how your Tourette is.
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Like I have so much hope for you.
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And over the past like few years that that has happened, my ticks have immensely gotten better because I have some,
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I have the support, I have therapists, I have doctors, I have medications that all work together.
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And in a way with me understanding where my triggers lie and what I can do during that day,
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like there are some times where I can't balance them and I have to protect myself and protect my condition and not make it worse.
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So it's just kind of like a fun game.
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Hearing you speak that way and knowing that you're, it almost allowed you to have acceptance for yourself and sounds like and what you had and finding ways to just live with it and therapies and surrounding the right support, whether that be people, medications, you know,
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habits in your life, I mean, I think that's, that's a wonderful lesson for everyone, for anyone, whatever their daily challenges that they have in their life to know that they're not alone, it's kind of why we started this podcast and just being able to figure out how to move forward with it.
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And so did that all of that empower you then to go public and share yourself in such a public way.
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I really wanted to be done hiding, especially from I would just, I would be, I was in therapy four days a week, I wouldn't look at myself in the mirror, I thought I was so ugly because my tics, I thought that it just
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made me less of a person because of what the doctor said. So I was just trying to navigate that, but also at the same time, it just, I just had to let people know that it's okay to be yourself.
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It's okay to have these layers about you. That's why I have my brand called beautifully complex because everyone is so beautifully complex in their own way. It just really, really, I just had to let people know that it's okay to be you and don't be scared to be yourself because there's only one you in the entire world.
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So everyone's special. Amen, girl. So what, so then what was, what was that transition like going public? Tell me like, how did you immediately feel all the love? Did that in no at first everyone thought I was speaking to ex, which made it even worse because
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I'm sorry, I make the sound when I get pissed off and I have to say, by the way, you know, watching you bail in over this last year and rewatching you and which I've had to sometimes I get about people, but I love your parents. So let's put that out there. This young, beautiful woman has an incredible family was your family supportive of you putting yourself out there like that, even though
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that you were getting the beginning might have been hard of people thinking that you were faking it, which I still can't believe my parents were definitely very, very proud of me for putting myself out there. I remember like texting them in college and being just like, I had no idea that this was going to happen like my social media blew up like crazy overnight and I have like no idea that I met that I was able to reach that many people for having Tourette's like in my brain. I was like, oh my god, like I can use this platform for the better.
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And I can help so much people because that's all I really wanted to do also I forgot the question.
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No, I was just saying how was how was your family supportive and were they supportive from the beginning of put like were they protective of like, I don't know if this is a good idea or from the get where they were like, yes girl, do this show the world the magic of you.
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So my parents and everyone was definitely very, very supportive, but they also were very concerned with the fact that I wasn't in college because I wanted to drop out of college I was going through a lot of mood problems a lot of like not wanting to be here and I called my family and I was like, I need to come home.
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And so I was still doing school at home, but at the point I was like, I could do social media for a living and feel more out of it than I ever would as a nursing student because when I was a nursing student, my school said that I wouldn't be able to
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do.
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Let's just say they basically were like, if you're going to be a nurse, you can't cost that's what they told me in front of my whole class.
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And I was like, OK, well, let me just let me just work on that really quick.
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So I can imagine that was incredibly painful and difficult to hear, but you took it as what, then this isn't my path.
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This isn't my place.
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I at that point was like mom, dad, like no one at the school has faith in me and supports me.
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I had to give myself a COVID test at the school because the lady was too scared to give it to me and she was a nurse.
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And I was like, these are your nursing students not being able to treat a dissabed, disabled person.
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That is your problem, not mine.
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That's why I realized that I couldn't be a part of that.
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I'm not going to be in a place where I'm unsupportive and I don't feel like I'm having help and I don't feel like it's the right place for me.
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So I came home.
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My parents came and got me and from that point on, I've been doing social media to help as much people as possible at the end of the day.
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And you have been.
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What are the biggest misconceptions about turrets?
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I would say one of the biggest ones is that it's a cussing disease and one it's not a disease.
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It's a syndrome and two.
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It's only in 10% of people with turrets and then there is everybody's ticks are the same and it's not.
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And then it's people tick 24 seven and they don't.
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And what I like to tell people is it's basically everyone's condition is different.
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So it so it internalizes and manifests itself differently in everybody.
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It doesn't look like cystic fibrosis in one person doesn't look the same in the other person and I know MS.
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Yeah.
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And both the ladies looks different in each other and there's things that are alike.
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There are symptoms that are alike, but they're not all the same and it's not all equal.
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Yeah, I mean, and even like I said, listening to you speak about this experience, there's so much of your own experience that can mirror my own right when you have a disability and you have to navigate in an able world.
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You know, and you you feel different.
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There's there's a journey right of isolation of putting yourself down having it define you.
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I'm sure have you been through a lot of ups and downs as far as like how did you gain the self awareness and the self confidence that you have now did that come from putting yourself out publicly.
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You have you said I know you said you were in therapy four days a week was that you know therapy for the Tourette or therapy for you, your mental and well-being.
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It was therapy for both because I was really, really discouraged by my Tourette when I first had it and I kind of let it control my life and I kind of let it make me feel a certain way and certain like feel like I'm not good enough.
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Yeah, so then it has an impact on my mental and my stability and all these other things.
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So at the beginning, it was really, really rough and there's still some days where I'm just like, how do I get that confidence? How do I have that confidence?
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But it just it just comes.
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It comes from God at the end of the day. Like I get a lot of my confidence, a lot of my love, a lot of my morals, everything from God and I wouldn't be the person I am without him.
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So I love that. I think a foundation of faith, whatever it may be is essential for everyone. And I love that you said that I think that's really beautiful.
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So how did your show come to be?
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My show came to be from a producer reaching out to me saying basically I see faith in this and I see hope in you and making this something that we can help the world with.
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And I'm very, very glad for the crew that I have for the show for everyone that's put faith and money and effort into the show.
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It is turned out so perfectly on a level of describing and letting people learn and educate what to write syndrome is.
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It's really.
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I couldn't have asked for something better to go out for season one. I really couldn't have.
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I'm so happy to hear that I cannot imagine how much you have helped so many people out in the world, you know, living with Tourette's and making them feel unashamed, which is nothing you should never feel for anything but to be more confident and to go out in the world.
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And you have started a conversation and being so candid and open and generous with your life, you know, is you were able to take your pain and turn it into purpose and not a lot of people can do that.
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And that's truly incredible. So I want to commend you so much for that.
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Thank you so much. It really, it really is something that I've always wanted to do is help people and be a voice for those that don't feel like they have one.
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So it means a lot. Thank you so much. Of course, of course.
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I watch you and you comfort me and I don't.
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I watched the show. Look, I've seen the first season. Is there a second season, bailant, bailant? Yes, it comes out October 7.
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I'm going to put that on my stuff because I can't wait to see what's going on, but I watched your journey and I think I've watched the whole see the whole first season about three times.
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And yeah, bailant.
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We're both going to cry, right? Don't don't.
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I will make you.
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Don't do it. Me. I won't make you.
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I watch you and I just I wish you were right here. I want to like hug you, love you and talk to you, but I can see how much when you're having your ticks, how much it hurts in your body or spine your head.
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And there's oftentimes with something with with RMS and I'm not comparing MS to Tourette's or Tourette's to MS or anything like that. But for me personally, when I get
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floated up, right, with anxiety or pressure or whatever, I you'll see me sometimes do something and I can feel how much is painful.
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When I get upset, my arm moves a lot. I call this Barbara. Barbara gets really pissed off and an anxious tick.
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Yeah, explain that please.
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People don't think that ticks are common and they're in one and every five people.
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Wow.
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Yeah, you can have pen clicks like net ticks. You can like people that sit there and click their pen like that's a tick. People that sit there and shake their leg. That's a tick.
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It's honestly a lot more common than what people think it is. Is it the body's way of calming itself, soothing itself?
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No, it's it's it's way of.
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I don't even know. Like just releasing its anxiety or releasing because you get the urge you feel the tick before it happens.
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So it's like a premonitory urge. So you're just releasing that urge.
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Are there any situations that you used to remove yourself from because of not are things that would be would trigger you like you talked about earlier that you now don't and you kind of have sort of reintroduced yourself to or more confident to step into.
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I'm slowly releasing myself back into the world of going out to eat with friends.
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I have had a lot of scenarios in the past where people will come up to me and be like can you stop making that noise.
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I've had a lot of the scenarios happen from other people around me. So all the stairs, all the whispers, all the laughs make my ticks worse.
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So going out into public where there's a lot of people like a restaurant makes it like a little bit more difficult for me.
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But I've been navigating that with going out with my friends and like making sure that like I have a strong backbone and making sure that I keep my eyes locked because it's very, very important.
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I have I have maybe a incredibly stupid question, but you know we've been talking for however long we've been talking and
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do you feel like you feel safe right now with us because you're not going there. Is that I want to know I really just want to know like you mean like my tick sarn is bad.
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Is that a weird stupid question, but I feel like no, the more that my the more that I'm focused to like talking helps my tick so the more like focused I am.
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Okay, that's that's what I'm asking sorry, Balan. I just was wondering because I've I feel like you're kind of part of my family now in a sense that I've watched you grow and I've watched your family and your your boyfriend or I don't know the status right now, but let's we don't have to talk about that.
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Hey, tell us about calling your fiance. Yes, yes, we're living together. We're having a blast. We're not married, but how do you guys meet hinge hinge and so can you tell me a little bit about like your love story because I'd love to just hear about you know how you fell in love.
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So I'm hinge they can like answer like click on one of your things and be like I basically posted a photo is like oh my god, I love coffee and he's like what's your coffee order and I was like I'm not answering that.
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So I'm going to come back. I'm going to come back. I'm like he's cute. I'll just come back and give it a couple hours and then he re texted and he's like JK what's your favorite ice cream flavor and I responded back. I said now we're talking.
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We're talking and I said cotton candy and he goes no way that's my favorite and I thought he was lying because I'm like no guy likes cotton candy ice cream and he was not lying.
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He is a little horror for cotton candy ice cream.
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Oh my god, Dylan, you just called him a horror for cut. I love you. So I seriously think that you're one of my favorite and I think I'm so sorry that we went ahead, but I think what you were saying is that you're comfortable right now, right.
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You just don't tick 24 seven. Right. So that's just like the simplest thing is like when I don't have the urge to tick. I'm actually very relieved that I don't have the urge to tick.
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Support for messy comes from magic spoon.
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So I'm back to Colin knows sweet Colin with his beautiful little red cheeks.
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So you love cotton candy ice cream and so what was what was your first date like.
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So we went on a date with one of my friends because she got stood up and one of his friends was going to come but didn't end up coming.
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So she third wheeled on her first date. We went to an apple orchard, but he was like super nice like he included her was talking to her was like making sure that she didn't feel like a third wheel.
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But it was really really nice. The date lasted like nine hours or something like it was a long day and basically I met him the day before we matched the day before and hinge.
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And I like talk to too many guys before that that wasted my time. So I basically was like we either hang out tomorrow or I'm like never going to see you.
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I love it. I love it.
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So I like we ended up paying out the next day and I was 45 minutes late because obviously my hair wasn't done. So I had to make sure my hair was gone.
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Not obviously bailing not obviously just it just happens make them make them all wait bailing.
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Oh, he did and he was a little patient boy about it. Everything.
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Wow. He was perfect. He showed up perfect for you. I love this was was great to your friend. Waited for you to do your hair.
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Yeah.
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When he asked your dad for permission.
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I got really scared and I think I'm about to I'm about to tear up because his little is little heart was just so freaked out like driving all the way there.
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I don't know if it's two hours three hours or 20 minutes him going up to your dad whom I'm afraid of.
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And yet I love your dad.
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How's dad doing by the way that's I think I'm getting to that question. How's dad doing I kind of like dad.
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My dad is lovely. He's honestly the best dad ever. I love him from bottom of my heart to everything in my body like him and Colin are the most to important men in my life.
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And like through season two you'll be able to see that like the relationship has gotten better.
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And they go and do fun things together and they like create a bond. So it's super super.
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I was going to ask you what what else do we have to look forward to in the new season. Are you planning a wedding.
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We are planning our wedding. So we are going through vendors not vendors.
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We got you venues. Yeah. Yeah. Places. Yeah.
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Venues and vendors. Yeah. The shit. All of it. Yes.
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Wedding dress shopping. So it's pretty pretty fun in season two. I'm super excited. There's also a ton of animals.
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What do you mean?
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Like I want alpac is at the wedding. We have Colin wants to come out on a white stallion. Like I can't with him.
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Yes.
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Oh, he's got dreams and fantasies. Is a wedding. Have you always had your wedding pictured?
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I've always wanted to get married as like a little girl. It's always supposed to be like a little princess fantasy.
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Like I know that my wedding has always meant to be full of colors. I want my wedding to be like a throw up of like beautiful colors. That's what I want it to be.
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I love that for you. Wait, hold on a second. I'm going to go back to two beats.
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I'm going to go back to two beats.
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I'm going to go back to two beats.
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Fucking alpacas.
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Bailen. Why?
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They're my seat. They spit.
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They're my.
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Well, I learned.
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Why not llamas?
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I love both.
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Lamas. Lamas and alpacas. But alpacas are nicer than llamas and they're smaller than llamas. Lamas are like.
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As much as horses way as much as a horse.
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And they alpacas will only spit if they both say you're going to feed them.
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And two of them are trying to come to the same bucket.
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Then they'll try to spit at the other one, but it will spit at you.
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Wow.
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Alpacas are just feel like very spit. That's why I have to say they're very spitty.
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I love both.
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I know they are. They're spit actually smells worse than their poop.
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Fun fact.
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Oh, wow. That is a very fun fact.
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I would not have thought that.
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Yes, we go to an alpaca farm on.
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In the show and they like teach us all of these things.
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And of course, like alpacas and llamas are like my favorite animals.
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So I'm sitting like a kid in a candy store.
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It's like my favorite thing ever is animals.
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Like I have three dogs. They're my favorite.
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Oh.
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Spaylin. Tell us more about beautifully complex.
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I want you to pimp this out as much as you can't, Tori.
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Listeners. I think it's a beautiful message.
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And I want to know all about it.
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That's so sweet.
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Thank you so much.
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Beautifully complex is the brand that I created to help people understand that every
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layer about them is beautifully complex.
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I was told through a psychologist through the Tourette Association of America
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that everyone is beautifully complex in their own way.
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And I took what she said. Her name is Dr. Hermitt.
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I took what she said.
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And I created it into a brand into something I wanted to impact others with
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and let them know that every layer about them, you don't have to be disabled.
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You don't have to be disabled to be beautifully complex.
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Every layer, every curve, every color, every difference, every disability makes
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this all beautifully complex in our own way.
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Like I said, there's only one you in the entire world.
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You may think that you may have a doppelganger out there, but they don't have the same soul as you do.
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So it's just about everyone being beautiful in their own way and having all these
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complex traits and these complex layers to everybody that makes this all ourselves.
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Oh, I'm so inspired by you.
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I'm so in love with your voice.
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It's so comforting and kind and beautiful and authentic and genuine and real.
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So does beautifully complex have like merchandise that people can purchase?
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Yes, there is like shirts and shorts and then there's a sweatpants set.
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And where can people find it offer beautifully complex by bailin.com.
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Amazing. I'm going right after this to get my merch.
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Yes, because that's the message that everyone needs to hear.
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I think people have gotten so lost and have become so disconnected from themselves.
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And I think we're all on a true healing journey to me is one of just back to your authentic self.
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And that is exactly who you are.
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You are unapologetically, authentically yourself and giving other people in turn the permission to do that as well.
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And so I just, I'm in complete awe of you and so grateful to Christina for introducing me to you and saying that we needed to have you on.
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Thank you so much for having me on.
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This is so cute and so what's fun.
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I wanted to ask, you know, to anyone that might be listening to this that has Tourette's or thinks they have Tourette's what what advice would you give them to not feel alone.
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Like at the end of the day, like we're so much more alike than we are different.
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And everybody out there is struggling with something, whether it's as simple as not getting your homework done at school to struggling with parents to losing a child to having a disability and not being able to walk anymore.
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Like we are, we're all struggling with something and we may not understand each other and we might not understand exactly what everyone's going through.
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But at the end of the day, we are meant to be on this world to help each other and be social people.
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And I just feel like.
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Like never feeling like you're alone, like I just never want anybody to be in the place I was four and a half years ago, where I felt like my life was never going to get better.
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And I was never going to be able to do certain things like I don't want people to feel.
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And I know it's easier said than done.
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But at the end of the day, you've been there, you've been there.
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And I think that sometimes God puts us in those positions and God gives us these things to be the most whatever you believe in what they need to hear.
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You know, I just think that you your experience has allowed you to make to see other people and to see people truly for who they are.
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And to be able to deliver that message again is just such a tremendous gift that you have.
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You are a bright, sparkly shining star.
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Thank you so much.
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All I really ever wanted was for people not to feel alone.
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I will you're doing it.
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And to just know that you're okay being yourself.
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Like no one else gets to be you.
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Why else would you want to be someone else?
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And I feel like our generation has really lost ourselves in that because it's always about our shell instead of our core.
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You are so incredibly impressive.
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You're so young and so wise.
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And the simple, the simplicity of your words are so much more effective than then.
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Many other people that I've heard try to say the same thing.
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So please don't stop.
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Keep being you.
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Keep spreading your gospel.
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Keep sharing your heart and your light.
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I can't wait for the show.
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Are you going to celebrate?
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You're going to have a viewing party with your family.
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Yes.
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I'm going to have some of my best friends come over and I'm hoping to get my family because they're like two hours away.
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So I'm hoping that they'll be able to come.
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But just to be able to celebrate with everybody and have everybody just be able to watch together.
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I'm so excited.
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I'm so, so excited.
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We're so excited for you, truly.
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And like thank you.
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Thank you so much for giving us your time and your wisdom.
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And it's just been such an honor.
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Oh my gosh.
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Thank you guys so much.
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So, Balan, we end each episode here at messy.
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I pull a card from this deck.
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We never know what it's going to say.
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And that's how we're going to end it.
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And then we also end by saying together.
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And so it is.
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It's sort of an affirmation.
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It's all encompassing gratitude.
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Thanks.
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Love all of it.
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So again, thank you so much for being here.
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And I'll read the card.
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Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
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You let us look through your eyes.
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You give us the gift to see the world through your eyes, Balan.
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So what a perfect card for today.
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Oh, that is so perfect.
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Thank you so much.
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So it is.
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And so it is.
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And so it is.
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And so it is.
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This show is executive produced by Kristina Applegate, Jamie Lynn Seagler, and Alison Breznik.
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Our audio engineer is Josh Windish.
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And if you want to show us some love, don't forget to leave the show a rating or a review.
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Hi, it's Jamie.
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Thanks for listening.
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I just want to let you know I am a paid spokesperson for Novartis.
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But this podcast is independent from my collaboration with Novartis.