how to heal your INNER CHILD & reinvent yourself | self love, trauma release + mindset shifts

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spk_0 If you apologize when you're not in the wrong, chase validation, feel the need to people please when you know it's wrong.

spk_0 That's not necessarily the adult you. That's the younger you.

spk_0 AKA your inner child who is trying to come out and gain the safety and love that they never got in their childhood

spk_0 and therefore are still trying to receive on a daily basis even in your adult life, which will sometimes cause you to get triggered

spk_0 or respond to situations in ways that you don't even fully understand and that a lot of the times you know

spk_0 don't make sense aren't logical and isn't the correct way to behave but you literally can't control it.

spk_0 It can be super frustrating when sometimes you don't understand why you might be more emotional than other people

spk_0 or why certain things hurt your feelings or as other people just seem to be okay with it.

spk_0 And it's not something you need to criticize yourself or beat yourself up about.

spk_0 It's just about showing the right amount of love to your inner child and learning the practical ways in which you can heal your younger self

spk_0 that is going to make your adult life 10 times easier.

spk_0 And it's through understanding what an inner child is, spotting the signs,

spk_0 reparenting yourself and learning all the healing techniques that you can achieve this and that's what we're going to be

spk_0 breaking down in today's video, the ultimate guide to healing your inner child so that you can thrive in your adult life.

spk_0 You are literally the best person for the job of loving and parenting your inner child

spk_0 because it's you. You know exactly what you need. You know exactly what you went without.

spk_0 You know exactly how you need to be communicated to what your feelings are and how to take care of them.

spk_0 The adult version of you is exactly who your inner child needed to be able to be the best version of themselves.

spk_0 So yes, it's all well and good going through your adult life and trying to do all of your responsibilities now

spk_0 but just taking out some time to go backwards and show up as this grown up, stronger,

spk_0 more selfish or adverse of yourself and revisit who you were as a child that everything can change.

spk_0 The younger version of yourself still exists inside of you in your mind because the ways that you

spk_0 might have been her, abandoned or rejected as a child is still showing up in your subconscious mind

spk_0 which is running what your current reality looks like. And that part of your subconscious mind can't

spk_0 change and heal until you go backwards and change the parenting that your inner child received

spk_0 that caused them to receive that hurt and that abandonment that wounded your subconscious in the

spk_0 first place. But the good news is this is literally all in your control. Before we get into it,

spk_0 I want to give a quick mention to the self-love guidebook I wrote last year. It's called Biosophadon

spk_0 Flowers. There's actually a whole part in this book all about healing and it also talks about

spk_0 inner child healing, reparenting, looking after yourself, how to heal after a breakup,

spk_0 after a tough time in your life. I highly recommend you read this especially if you've

spk_0 clicked on this video, it will definitely resonate. You can check it out below in my description.

spk_0 Along with all of the other things down there that I do for self-improvement, like my vlog channel,

spk_0 my guided journal business and so much more. Chapter one, what is the inner child? Because once you

spk_0 understand what it is and how it works, you can start to be more aware and evaluate how it's

spk_0 impacting you in your current life. So the inner child is not this imaginary trendy thing that

spk_0 everyone's talking about on social media. It is a very real thing that exists in your subconscious

spk_0 mind. These are where you store subconscious thoughts that were shaped from your very early

spk_0 experiences as a child, mostly before the age of seven, where your brain was highly programmable

spk_0 and absorbed any early childhood experiences as court treats about the world, about yourself,

spk_0 about life and about people. So some examples of this is if your parents weren't around a law

spk_0 or they played very hot and cold with you and you didn't have consistent love and affection,

spk_0 then that is then internalized into the subconscious belief that you must earn love. You have to do

spk_0 in order to have people show up for you. If you were shamed for crying or being too sensitive as a

spk_0 child, then that was then internalized into a subconscious mind that emotions are unsafe and you

spk_0 can't be vulnerable and feeling hurt or feeling any sort of negative emotion is a weakness of yours.

spk_0 If your parents are really relied on academic success, accolades, always pressuring you to be perfect,

spk_0 then that then translates into the subconscious belief that your worth is not who you are, it's what

spk_0 you do and you always need to do to receive respect from others. And that's the only way that you're

spk_0 worthy of anything. You can't just exist and be okay and accepting of that. So then you can see

spk_0 that abandonment and rejection doesn't start when somebody goes through while you're dating,

spk_0 it really dates all the way back to how you were treated when you were younger and that then runs

spk_0 your adult life. For example, if your parents went around or maybe they divorced or they weren't

spk_0 consistent in their love, then now as an adult maybe you're more triggered and more susceptible and

spk_0 pay more close attention to how much attention somebody's paying you and if they want their own time

spk_0 or aren't talking as much as usual, you then see that as you don't love me, you don't like me anymore,

spk_0 you're going to leave me, you just end up being a more anxious person because of those first

spk_0 experiences you had with parental love. So we need to understand what an unhealed versus healed

spk_0 in a child looks like so we know what we need to work towards and where we currently sit on this

spk_0 scale. And of course I'm going to bring in our favorite girls Lola and Athena to illustrate this.

spk_0 Now Lola has an unhealed in a child. How that's now showing up in her 20s is she's

spk_0 constantly overthinking everything she does and says and she never thinks anything is quite good

spk_0 enough or that she might be hurting people's feelings or she's never coming across in the right way.

spk_0 She just holds herself to this impossible standard. She also really struggles to be vulnerable and

spk_0 always thinks she's too sensitive so she never wants to open up to other people because she's

spk_0 scared she's going to be seen as too sensitive and too over emotional with too many feelings.

spk_0 Lola also relies really heavily on external approval and validation to feel good and this has shown

spk_0 through her serial dating habits, her excessive posting on social media and always worrying

spk_0 what everybody else thinks about her and has to say about her. Lola is also a workaholic and cannot

spk_0 rest without feeling guilty. She is constantly burnt out because she feels that she constantly

spk_0 needs to be doing just to feel stable and okay with herself because that was the kind of chaos

spk_0 that showed up in her childhood. She constantly had to be up about and doing things in order to be

spk_0 seen as a worthy human being and lastly Lola freaks out and panics whenever she notices

spk_0 that somebody is a little bit quiet to the usual or having that own time. Rather than seeing that

spk_0 as somebody just needing their own time she equates it with she's too annoying, they don't like

spk_0 her anymore and maybe they're going to leave her. Essentially her nervous system and his subconscious

spk_0 is still living in the past and she hasn't been able to move on from those early childhood

spk_0 experiences which is now wrecking her current relationships. Ethine on the other hand has a

spk_0 healed in her child. Now, Ethine has not had the most perfect childhood but she has put in the

spk_0 healing and the reparenting work which has now allowed her to have a really healthy relationship

spk_0 with her in her child and to be in a more healed place in her life. Ethine was able to overcome her

spk_0 people pleasing tendencies that she learned as a child and now holds boundaries confidently and

spk_0 calmly knowing it doesn't make her a bad or a mean person. She can confidently show up and say

spk_0 no and actually look after her energy and her needs without having to feel guilty about it.

spk_0 Ethine constantly journals and goes to therapy and holds her emotions and can

spk_0 healthily vent to her friends without spiraling or thinking that it makes her an annoying person.

spk_0 Ethine loves her playtime. She is always going back to things and hobbies that she loved as a child

spk_0 and she doesn't feel bad about it. She's never rushing herself to grow up or be more productive

spk_0 or be a version of herself that she just doesn't connect with because she's learned to accept

spk_0 the most authentic core version of herself that she's always been since she was a child.

spk_0 She's also taught herself how to ask for help from others without any shame because she's done

spk_0 with her hyper independent tendencies. Chapter two, how to heal your inner child and know this is

spk_0 not just about being nicer to yourself. It's about practically reprogramming your emotions and

spk_0 your subconscious beliefs so that your inner child stops ruining your adult life. Step number one

spk_0 is understanding your opacity. This is an amazing thing that you can use in your favor because your

spk_0 brain is constantly adapting meaning whatever is stressing you out right now, whatever belief or

spk_0 blockages holding you back is not forever and you can easily change it. Neuroplasticity basically

spk_0 means that your brain can adapt the more that you feed it and the more new beliefs that you input.

spk_0 A.K.A. the more beliefs you choose that then contradict the trauma you received as a child or the more

spk_0 new things you immerse yourself in that you missed out on as a child, the more your brain rewires

spk_0 and you get a heal in a child. The easiest way to achieve this is to ask yourself what did your

spk_0 parents not do enough of or what did they not say enough of or what did you miss out on as a child.

spk_0 So an example for me is I grew up in a family where anytime you showed just a little bit of emotion,

spk_0 you were loudly and verbally called sensitive and too emotional and it was always seen as this

spk_0 big weakness to the point where you couldn't be vulnerable and you couldn't rant or express yourself

spk_0 without basically being insulted for it. So now as an adult it has been a process of once

spk_0 around myself with people that understand that it's healthy to vent and to be emotional and hold

spk_0 space for me because if I'm not associating myself with people like that I'd become the average of

spk_0 them and I can start to adopt those beliefs as well. Two is knowing that that's my weakness or my

spk_0 in a child trauma I can now read books on it and watch videos online about how to hold space

spk_0 for your emotions, how to process them yourself. I also journal a lot about my emotions that have

spk_0 been fought many years and that just helps me create a more comfortable relationship with myself

spk_0 where being vulnerable is allowed and being sensitive is never really a thing. Now I've reprogrammed

spk_0 my belief to go from me being emotional is just me being sensitive and a weakling too. That's

spk_0 literally my superpower it's how I show up for myself it's how I look after my mental health

spk_0 is literally so necessary to me thriving and being the best version of myself and now I love being

spk_0 emotional it's no longer this scary thing that defines me as the kind of person I don't even want to be.

spk_0 So figure out what your parents didn't say enough to you and start granting yourself permission

spk_0 to be or say what they didn't give you. EG you're safe now you've always been beautiful you've

spk_0 always been enough you're worthy as you are without having to do anything to achieve it you have

spk_0 never had to be perfect you've always done your best another specific example of this is let's say

spk_0 you're out in the street and your subconscious belief is anytime someone looks at you it means

spk_0 it's negative or it means they're judging you or it means that you're in danger if you find yourself

spk_0 in that situation and you're subconscious is going back to that old belief you want to get rid of

spk_0 it's just about repeating to yourself you are safe that person could be admiring you nothing

spk_0 bad is going to happen to you just because people look at you does not mean they're judging you

spk_0 you look at people all the time you don't judge them and the key with this step is all about repetition

spk_0 the more you form this habit of these new beliefs the faster that your brain is going to be able to

spk_0 let go of all of these old blockages and bringing these more loving beliefs that help you really

spk_0 connect to your inner child in the healthiest way possible the second technique for healing your

spk_0 inner child is to do inner child journaling or shadow work if you guys check out my guided

spk_0 journals on south of ces journal.com I actually have shadow work prompts built in to the growth

spk_0 journal that you guys can check out but essentially what this means is when you are journaling you're not

spk_0 going to write in first person and say I feel really sad today you're going to write in the voice

spk_0 and in the perspective of your younger self slash inner child so my inner child or she feels sad

spk_0 today because she felt invisible or like she wasn't understood by others there's actually been so

spk_0 much research behind technique and why it really works and basically just writing that perspective

spk_0 it helps you kind of see your younger self and your inner child who's obviously already inside you

spk_0 as like this other person so you can be a little bit more compassionate and understand their

spk_0 perspective a little bit more rather than just talking about yourself this leads me onto my third tip

spk_0 I actually did this years ago when I was just filled with self doubt when I was trying to build up my

spk_0 social media and just nothing was working and this is all about seeing yourself as your inner child

spk_0 sometimes I think as adults we put so much pressure on ourselves and we always forget to be empathetic

spk_0 and compassionate to who we are but if you look regularly at pictures of your younger self or better

spk_0 yet place a picture of you as a child four five years old and put it on your mirror or wherever

spk_0 you're gonna look every single day and look at that I did this about five years ago and it reminded me

spk_0 who I'm speaking to every day who I'm criticizing who I've been belittling who I've been putting such

spk_0 high expectations on and it forced me to be kind to myself every single day when I caught a glimpse

spk_0 of that picture because I remembered I'm still that girl I don't deserve the harsh way that I speak

spk_0 to myself and it really helped me step out of that self doubt because I thought if that inner child

spk_0 that younger version of myself was my child and was standing in front of me right now but I

spk_0 speak to her like that absolutely not I would think that all of her dreams are gonna come true and I

spk_0 would speak that into her belief system so why am I not doing this same for myself right now

spk_0 and then the last technique is inner child mapping this is essentially all about learning more

spk_0 and understanding more about your younger self things that you've probably forgotten by now

spk_0 for example what did the tenured version of myself love doing what was I most afraid of as a child

spk_0 and what held me back what were my biggest dreams and what would I hope for the current adult me to

spk_0 be like or to do in my life what did my younger self need to hear every day but didn't get to

spk_0 what would have made my younger self feel the most loved thinking about these answers

spk_0 journaling about them is even better is all about you responding directly to your inner child

spk_0 and really building a relationship with her but also the more that you're aware of these answers

spk_0 and what is going to make you feel the most loved and secure is how you can show up feel self

spk_0 right now because just because it's been a decade or 20 years since you missed out on that treatment

spk_0 doesn't mean that now you're okay without it because such a big amount of time has passed

spk_0 your younger self is still yearning and aching for that love and acceptance once you understand

spk_0 what's missing you can give it to yourself immediately and close that loop and that blockage

spk_0 and lastly chapter number three the homework chapter if you guys are new here I have a homework

spk_0 chapter at the end of all of my videos and podcast episodes some of them self podcast if you don't

spk_0 know but for this week's homework I want to center it around the routine so I'm going to call

spk_0 this the repair-inting routine I haven't talked about repair-inting so everyone's video because I

spk_0 really wanted chapter three to focus on it this is such a powerful way of healing your inner child

spk_0 and is basically all in the name it's about being the power that you wish that you had and doing

spk_0 that right now because it's not too late so I'm going to run through a few different habits or

spk_0 steps that you guys can input into this routine you don't need to do all of them you can select just

spk_0 a few and choose to do them either daily weekly or monthly so the first idea is to regularly

spk_0 incorporate it into your journaling routine so either daily or weekly you can ask yourself how is

spk_0 my inner child feeling today or how could I show up for my inner child today what is something that

spk_0 my younger self would have loved to do today is it drawing a picture is it spending time in nature

spk_0 is it talking to a loved one or a family member and once you've generaled about what your younger

spk_0 self needs it's time to action that and make time for it in your day or your week whether that's

spk_0 rest compassion or hobby or an action you need to make time for it another idea is to have some sort

spk_0 of mantra or affirmation that directly connects to your inner child I've noticed that with all of

spk_0 myself improvement routines and habits all of them connect to my future self and who I want to be

spk_0 and that's all great but I think it's really special to have something that directly represents

spk_0 in mirrors who you were when you were younger so if you know that your biggest struggle around your

spk_0 inner child was the fact that you felt like you needed to earn love or prove your worth then maybe

spk_0 your daily mantra or affirmation that you meditate on or that you repeat or that you script is I don't

spk_0 need to perform for love I am worthy as I am etc it's all about catering it to whatever problem

spk_0 you're trying to solve and I know I know some people don't like affirmations and you might think

spk_0 that it's pointless but remember what I said about neuroplasticity repetition equals rewiring the

spk_0 more that you're repeating this belief and it putting it into your mind whether that be verbally or

spk_0 by writing it down the more that your brain can adapt to start internalizing these new loving

spk_0 beliefs rather than holding on to the unhealed version of your inner child another idea is play time

spk_0 this is something I've seen on social media so much and it's what got me into learning about

spk_0 inner child healing so many years ago and this is all about having an hour maybe a week or a day

spk_0 once a month where you engage in your inner child favorite activities to be honest it's

spk_0 even need to be an activity it could literally be watching like your old shows that you love

spk_0 as an inner child or going to the places that you used to go to as an inner child if you're still in

spk_0 your hometown or whatever you loved back then one thing I regularly do is I worry watch my

spk_0 Disney Channel shows I don't know why it just connects me to that part of my life and it just

spk_0 makes me feel grateful for how far I've come but also just reminds me of who I used to be so I don't

spk_0 forget about her it could be painting drawing cycling baking whatever you used to like remember it's

spk_0 not always about being this grown up responsible adult sometimes it's just about feeling joy and

spk_0 playing because that's what life was like when you were younger and finally this is my personal

spk_0 favorite writing a letter to your inner child every week or month I want you to think about your

spk_0 younger self and write a letter to her I think this is a really nice thing especially because you can

spk_0 actually save it and maybe once a year you can open them all up again and read them in order and

spk_0 it's a great thing to see how you've been healing your inner child one letter at a time and how far

spk_0 you've come and you've grown with every letter you wrote it's a great like progress journey but in

spk_0 this letter you can write about how you're feeling and you thought that I've come up maybe about

spk_0 your past and your childhood what your inner child did well that week the relationship that you're

spk_0 having with her how you plan on reparenting her and looking after her and how you want to show up for

spk_0 her how she's influencing your growth to be the parent and the grown up that you wish she'd had

spk_0 but also who your inner child always wanted you to be and the growth and the action you're putting

spk_0 into that journey to really show up for her in your current adult life but if you want more ideas

spk_0 there are so many on Google you can literally just Google shy work prompts inner child prompts and

spk_0 there'll be so many but that brings us to the end of this video I hope you guys enjoyed it if you

spk_0 did please comment down below and let me know what you thought I would love to read through your

spk_0 comments and respond to you guys definitely let me know what you guys are going to be doing to start

spk_0 this journey is such a wholesome amazing thing you can do for yourself yourself love your mental

spk_0 health and just your happiness moving forward it is truly such an amazing healing exercise that

spk_0 everyone needs to invest in thank you so much for being here and watching remember to check out all

spk_0 the links below in the description because I promise you there'll be at least one thing that's

spk_0 going to help you and yourself improvement journey that's everything for this week I'll see you in

spk_0 the next one I appreciate you so so much bye

how to heal your INNER CHILD & reinvent yourself | self love, trauma release + mindset shifts

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