Episode 5 - Creating Passion and Energy in Your Life Through Your Interests

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 Welcome to the Parent to Prosper Podcast.

spk_0 Here's your host, Am I dead?

spk_0 Who I believe thinks that a vest is a required piece of clothing.

spk_0 Chris Schultz.

spk_0 Oh, Wally, you really do give me a hard time about me wearing my vest.

spk_0 What can I say?

spk_0 It's like a lightweight, comfortable blanket around me without me sweating to death from

spk_0 a sweater.

spk_0 Of course, you're not going to find me in a vest here in the first part of July.

spk_0 It's 90 degrees outside in Kentucky.

spk_0 But three seasons out of the year, you're going to find me in a vest.

spk_0 I did get a little upgrade from Kelly over Christmas last year when she bought me a North

spk_0 Face down vest.

spk_0 Not that it made me a cool dad, but it probably was a little upgrade from those Greg Norman

spk_0 vest that I always seemed to wear.

spk_0 But, Ali, I don't think she might have been wearing a vest.

spk_0 She's just always going to give me a little bit of a hard time about it.

spk_0 I love it.

spk_0 I want to welcome you as well to the Parent to Prosper Podcast.

spk_0 Parent to Prosper is a place where parents can discover how to thrive by leading the growth

spk_0 and success of their high school and college-aged children.

spk_0 So this is episode five.

spk_0 And in the last two episodes, I explored two rather important areas of our life, our

spk_0 purpose as well as our life focus areas, those areas of our life that matter to us and

spk_0 why they matter.

spk_0 But those are rather deep topics.

spk_0 And so I wanted to lighten it up for both this episode and the next episode.

spk_0 Today's episode is going to be focused on our interests and a role that interests play

spk_0 in our lives as parents, but also our children's lives.

spk_0 And so I'll be looking into how interest create variety in our life, how they help to create

spk_0 identity in our life, and ultimately how they give us a source of energy and are really

spk_0 kind of synonymous with what we describe as our passions in life.

spk_0 I'll also be looking at some dilemma with our interests, both what I see as maybe my

spk_0 own personal concern for how interests are pursued as youth, but also as adults and

spk_0 how we just don't spend enough time in our interests.

spk_0 I'm looking forward to this episode.

spk_0 So let's do this.

spk_0 I like to start each episode reflecting on an area related to the topic that ultimately

spk_0 brings me gratitude.

spk_0 And so as you think about this area of interest, what's an interest in your life that brings

spk_0 a lot of meaning and satisfaction to you?

spk_0 For me, I have a lot of creative interest and whenever I'm able to be creative, it seems

spk_0 like it puts me in a good place and gives me a lot of energy.

spk_0 I'm really blessed to have a lot of creative opportunities professionally and of course

spk_0 in my personal life.

spk_0 Professionally I get to create a lot of stuff and this parent to prosper venture provides

spk_0 me a lot of creative outlets.

spk_0 I see this podcast as being a creative outlet.

spk_0 I see the graphics that I create and just different ways I can engage with my audience

spk_0 is all point on my creativity.

spk_0 Personally, there are a few things that are maybe call outs for my creativity and that

spk_0 I kind of do with my family related to interests.

spk_0 I have, I love Halloween and the opportunity to carve pumpkins and I'm kind of becoming

spk_0 recognized as a pretty good pumpkin carve where I just let my kids tell me what they

spk_0 want to have on their pumpkin and I can usually pull it off and carve that into their pumpkin.

spk_0 Do the same with birthday cakes and just tell them what kind of birthday cake do you want.

spk_0 I just take on a challenge and create that cake.

spk_0 In each holiday, I create a Christmas poem and I think we're coming up on our 20th Christmas

spk_0 poem with which kind of culminates with 20 years of marriage.

spk_0 I just enjoy those things and so those are just some examples of interests that I have

spk_0 and that bring a lot of meaning to me and that ultimately I'm very thankful to have

spk_0 in my life.

spk_0 So let's start by looking at this term interest.

spk_0 Interest without the a's means a feeling that accompanies an object or an activity.

spk_0 So ultimately I think the key word there is feeling.

spk_0 I think that's why interest is synonymous with passion.

spk_0 Passion is a really high state of emotion and certainly the stronger our feelings are

spk_0 towards something and object or an activity.

spk_0 The more passion we're going to have for that object or activity.

spk_0 When we put an S on it interests it's really kind of a set of objects or activities that

spk_0 we have interest in or that we have feelings towards.

spk_0 So our interests are going to just naturally create very positive feelings for us.

spk_0 Going to make us feel satisfied or happy or fulfilled when we're doing those things.

spk_0 Interest are very different from those things in our lives that we've determined to be important

spk_0 but because they're just logically or rationally they're important in our lives.

spk_0 They don't necessarily make us feel great or bring a natural satisfaction to us.

spk_0 They don't drive any type of feeling but we know that they're important and those areas

spk_0 might be especially for our high school and college age children.

spk_0 It might be school or just certain responsibilities where sometimes I think we can approach them

spk_0 and say, gosh, why won't my kid just have greater interests in school?

spk_0 Well, let's look at that.

spk_0 First, as a broad stroke, maybe school doesn't create a lot of positive feelings for our children

spk_0 but ultimately we can dive into that a little deeper.

spk_0 We can ask, all right, what subjects do you find yourself a little bit more

spk_0 attentive in during school or where the homework's not as bad and maybe those areas aren't high

spk_0 interest but maybe they're certainly higher level of interest than others.

spk_0 From my son, math is one of those. He just naturally does a little bit better and he'll say,

spk_0 yeah, maybe it's, I don't mind math or to the point of I like math but it's certainly better

spk_0 than some other subjects in school. The other thing is just because we are in a certain

spk_0 emotional state now doesn't mean we cannot get out of that emotional state and I'm not going to

spk_0 get too deep into this but certainly we can explore with our children how they can get a different

spk_0 meaning from school or at least say subject with a different meaning and when we see things

spk_0 differently and we start to tell ourselves a story in a different way, those are ultimately going

spk_0 to impact our emotions. So we can actually shift both in our lives and our children's lives

spk_0 a different emotional connection to an object or an activity. So always not lost if our children

spk_0 don't have an interest in something that we feel is important and that we ultimately want to

spk_0 create more of a natural connection with. So to summarize, interest can kind of come off as a

spk_0 a little bit maybe flaky but interests are actually very important in our lives. So the activities

spk_0 that can create a lot of positive emotions and passion in our lives. So it's really important

spk_0 for our children to find those things that they have interest in so that they can create passion

spk_0 early in their life and as we think about parents and as adults, how are we still exploring and

spk_0 spending time at our interest so that we are ultimately living a life that is fulfilling and we're

spk_0 experiencing a lot of positive emotions. Now I'm going to cover different roles that interest play

spk_0 in our lives and once its role is interest create variety in our life. I've introduced before that

spk_0 there are different levels of basic human needs. The first level is certainty or security in our life

spk_0 and that second level is we need variety in our life. We need ways to be jolted out of the routine

spk_0 and where we can have metaphors for those routines in our life where we feel like we're on a hamster

spk_0 wheel or treadmill or we're just stuck in doing the same thing over and over again just like we're

spk_0 in a gutter or in a rut. And so our interest can be ways to just kind of pulse out of the routine

spk_0 and ultimately things that we know are going to again create a lot of positivity in our lives

spk_0 when we're jolted out of that routine. It's probably seemed basic and that it'll just naturally

spk_0 happen but it's really important for us to be somewhat intentional or at least cognizant of

spk_0 how we are creating variety in our life. If you think of our work day and how we're taking

spk_0 breaks, not just breaks that get us away from work but where we're doing something meaningful with

spk_0 that time. Also makes sense where our kids when they get home from school probably just want some

spk_0 downtime but maybe something even better would be something that actually creates some energy or

spk_0 is fulfilling for them. There's also a need for variety on what I would call more of a macro level

spk_0 and that's something that would be on a weekly or monthly or maybe a yearly level. In a couple

spk_0 of examples in my life, golfing which I seem to bring up every episode now is one such example.

spk_0 I would love to play golf on a daily basis. I just can't do that but it's kind of this very

spk_0 welcome distraction that I create in my life. I try to do it on a weekly basis during the season

spk_0 but it often doesn't happen. It's usually kind of every other week. Our family also boats. I

spk_0 surprised a family with a boat on Christmas about three years ago but it has been just an absolutely

spk_0 wonderful family interest that we do. We try again to do that once a week during the

spk_0 boating season. Sometimes it's once every other week but it's something that we could be in the

spk_0 middle of the week and we could just feel like we're kind of in a rut but we know that there's

spk_0 an interest waiting for us on the weekend that can ultimately pull us through and therefore

spk_0 we kind of just sense that yes we do have variety in our life and we're meeting that need.

spk_0 A final point related to variety is do we have variety in our interest and this is something that's

spk_0 I think relatively important for our children. I'll cover it a little bit more towards the end as

spk_0 I see it as somewhat dilemma but if we just find ourselves doing the same thing from an interest

spk_0 standpoint over time that doesn't create variety so we can create variety within our interest if we

spk_0 have an interest in music for instance we can explore what new songs are coming out in that genre.

spk_0 For me and my interest with golf if I just continue to play the same course over and over again

spk_0 I can actually sense where the golf isn't as fulfilling so I can jolt and create variety in

spk_0 the interest by playing a different course and it can actually make a pretty significant impact

spk_0 and this just seems to be a part of our nature. Biologically we're going to react to the same

spk_0 exercise over and over again with diminishing returns and I just think it's the same emotionally

spk_0 we're just going to get diminishing returns if we keep doing the same thing over and over again

spk_0 regarding our interest so if we spice things up we're ultimately going to get that positive feeling

spk_0 that we're ultimately looking for from our interest. The second role that interest can plan

spk_0 our life is they can help us to create an identity in our life and I think this is especially

spk_0 important for our high school and college-stage children. I've shared in past episodes that for me

spk_0 golf and being an artist was actually they were two important identities for me in high school.

spk_0 The next level of human need after variety is significance and this is where our identity fits in.

spk_0 So when our kids are spending a lot of time on listening to music, playing video games,

spk_0 playing sports these might feel like unproductive means or maybe there's been too much time

spk_0 in our interest but to our kids this might be them really shaping an identity of who they see they

spk_0 are and of course that identity comes a lot of things it's how they connect and find friends.

spk_0 It's also how they're maybe experiencing fulfilling that need for growth as they're becoming

spk_0 better at a video game as they're becoming better at a sport even as they're learning more about

spk_0 music and maybe socially they're sharing and they're kind of recognized as being someone who can

spk_0 know what is the latest raps on and it's really no different for us as adults. If you look at

spk_0 probably the whole basis behind Facebook's algorithm, looking at our interests, our political

spk_0 interests, our sports interests, our social interests, a lot of different interests and they're

spk_0 bringing content to us based on those interests. It's also how we just connect with others. So

spk_0 as parents it's important for us to recognize that that need for significance is really an

spk_0 important need for our high school and college age children and while we're trying to

spk_0 often influence our children to focus more on establishing deeper connections with their friends

spk_0 and with their family and to focus more on their growth especially maybe academically or maybe even

spk_0 professionally for our college age children. I believe we should first just appreciate the fact that

spk_0 our children have these interests that they have these activities or things in their lives which

spk_0 bring them fulfillment and energy into their life and that gives them an identity makes them

spk_0 feel significant about themselves. I know I can't think of something that's really more important

spk_0 for my son and my daughter as she grows older just to feel that she's someone special and those

spk_0 interests are really going to make her feel special. The third role that interest can play is

spk_0 interest can provide us a source of energy in our life and that's why the term passion is

spk_0 used synonymously with the term interest and passion of course is you're in this high emotional state,

spk_0 this high energy state and ultimately interest can stimulate us getting energy when we're down and

spk_0 that's what when I mentioned before when you go for something that you don't like doing there's

spk_0 something that you do like doing your interest ultimately your energy is probably going to come up.

spk_0 It can also help us from a stamina standpoint and a motivation standpoint. There was a really good

spk_0 study I came across that Duke conducted where they brought together two groups to complete a puzzle

spk_0 and one group had puzzles as an interest the other group did not. So they first wanted to see how

spk_0 interest and puzzles impacted the completion of a puzzle itself. So they had a fixed period of time

spk_0 the group that had puzzles as an interest not only did they complete it faster they just completed

spk_0 the puzzle the other group did not even complete it within a block of time. So they concluded that

spk_0 interest helped that one group from a stamina standpoint to complete the puzzle. They also wanted

spk_0 to understand how interest played a role in kind of creating leftover energy that could kind of be

spk_0 used on non-interest related tasks. So they had each group after the the window to see how long

spk_0 they could squeeze the script strength tester and what they found was the group that had puzzles

spk_0 as an interest was able to sustain their grip for much longer than a group that did not like

spk_0 and so they concluded that the kind of their belief that yes this group that had just completed

spk_0 this puzzle activity that had puzzles as an interest not only were they able to use that interest

spk_0 and energy they gained from that to complete the activity but they had just left over energy

spk_0 which allowed them to perform better and just not interest related activity squeezing this grip

spk_0 strength tester. So what we can learn from this is when we spend time on our interest not only does it

spk_0 kind of bring us energy at that point in time but it can really create energy for us to be successful

spk_0 and from a performance standpoint and non-interest related tasks. So think of it as for yourself

spk_0 if you have something that's really important spending just a little bit of time on your interest

spk_0 whatever that is and allowing that interest to carry ever into performing well and something that's

spk_0 not an interest whether that's work related or personally related or maybe for our kids it's

spk_0 allowing them to listen to some music play some video games shoot basketball whatever is their

spk_0 interest and will give them energy before doing an activity that they don't have interest in such

spk_0 as maybe doing homework or a certain certain task or chore around the house and ultimately what

spk_0 the research says is they should have a little bit more energy left over from that activity in order

spk_0 to perform better. Before I wrap up the episode I just wanted to bring up a couple of concerns I have

spk_0 in this area of interest for both our children as well as us as parents. So related to our

spk_0 children I have a concern that our children today are focusing on depth and spending a lot of time

spk_0 not just you know time you know month to month but years of time within a singular interest or a

spk_0 very small set of interest. I hear all the time at least in this career space to find your passion

spk_0 as if we should be looking for that one thing that can just spark and bring energy into our life.

spk_0 There was some research done by Stanford and again just like the Duke research I'll link to this

spk_0 research on the episode web page but what they found is passion should not be a singular thing

spk_0 that we seek that when we do that it really limits our curiosity and will to explore other

spk_0 interests and what we should do they found is we should have this growth versus a fixed mindset

spk_0 and really that growth mindset is going to really serve us well or our children well as they enter

spk_0 the professional world and that our life and our interests are always evolving and so while yes

spk_0 there are going to be things that we carry forward almost throughout our life as an interest and

spk_0 again I bring up golf as an example to me it could be risky and it just doesn't provide enough

spk_0 variety in our life to just have a singular focus kind of point of interest in our life so

spk_0 I just want to bring that up that even if someone is pursuing basketball or drama or singing or dance

spk_0 or whatever they're doing as a parent always encouraging and create time to explore other interests

spk_0 things that could just supplement that interest that they have in their life.

spk_0 For adults concern I have is that I just see a lot of adults who have passions for things and

spk_0 interest that they just don't spend time in and life can become just grind and become routine and

spk_0 and where again I mentioned that variety can just seem like oh yeah I need variety in my life and

spk_0 but you know we need to be really intentional about creating variety in our life and if there are

spk_0 interests that we have that we know brainless energy and brainless a lot of fulfillment how do we

spk_0 bring that into our life and sometimes we can think that oh we just don't have time for that

spk_0 but if if we look at kind of life and more of a macro level if pursuing some of our interests and

spk_0 allowing time for it can actually bring energy into our life so that we can be more effective

spk_0 professionally or we can have more energy with our family then those are probably things worth

spk_0 doing there's a huge opportunity cost when we choose not to pursue or spend time with our

spk_0 interests and that opportunity costs as we show up for work or we show up as a member of our

spk_0 family probably without as much satisfaction or at least in an emotional state that's not as high

spk_0 as it could be if we were spending some time with our interest so I just encourage you as a parent

spk_0 spend time doing things that you're interested in and a great way to do this is bring your kids

spk_0 along with you maybe it's a way to broaden their interests as well so when summary interests are

spk_0 very important in our life and sometimes we can just overlook the importance that they that they

spk_0 truly do have in our life and they play a variety of roles one they bring us variety in our life

spk_0 they help us to really shape our identity and and how we connect with the world and finally they

spk_0 provide us a great source of energy that is important on a daily basis but can really kind of

spk_0 reenergize this on a kind of longer term scale as well so I have two requests for you as I wrap up

spk_0 this episode first for you as a parent I'd like for you to think about what's an interest that I

spk_0 want to spend more time doing and this could be something that you know is a current interest or

spk_0 it could be helpful to kind of go back into the archives of our life and say what's it what's

spk_0 something I used to do that used to bring me a lot of energy and wow it might be fun to just explore

spk_0 that once again second I encourage you to have a conversation with your children about their

spk_0 interest just having a conversation they're going to see that you see their interest and that you

spk_0 see that their interest is a significant part of of who they are when we show a deep level of

spk_0 appreciation for who someone is then it provides a fabulous foundation for us to build a strong

spk_0 relationship from so thanks again for tuning into the Parent Deprosper podcast I appreciate any

spk_0 help you can provide to spread the word on the podcast other parents a great way as I mentioned

spk_0 before for you to do that is to subscribe to the podcast through iTunes or the Google Play Player

spk_0 and to provide a rating for it so that other parents can see exactly what this podcast has to offer

spk_0 also encourage you to go to the our website www.parentdeprosperer.com there you'll find web pages for

spk_0 all of our episodes as well as ways to sign up for our community and we have some other resources

spk_0 for you as well thanks again everyone and have a great week take care

spk_0 so

Episode 5 - Creating Passion and Energy in Your Life Through Your Interests

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