Technology
Ep 54. A Sea of Crosses : Gaby Dunn
In this episode of 'Only in New York,' hosts Tracy Crenazo, Andrea Allen, and Hamda welcome author and podcast host Gaby Dunn. They delve into Gaby's experiences in New York, her journe...
Ep 54. A Sea of Crosses : Gaby Dunn
Technology •
0:00 / 0:00
Interactive Transcript
spk_0
Hey, only in New York.
spk_0
Welcome to Only in New York.
spk_0
I'm Tracy Crenazo.
spk_0
I'm Andrea Allen.
spk_0
And I'm Hamda.
spk_0
And our guest today is the author of The New York Times Best Cellar.
spk_0
I hate everyone but you.
spk_0
She's the host of the very popular podcast, Bad With Money.
spk_0
And her audible original apocalypse untreated is out now.
spk_0
Make sure you give it a listen.
spk_0
Please welcome Gabby Dunn.
spk_0
Hi.
spk_0
Thank you for having me.
spk_0
Thank you for having me.
spk_0
Thank you for being here.
spk_0
And we lost you for LA for a bit.
spk_0
But you definitely were here enough and long enough.
spk_0
And I think like even a week here sometimes is long enough
spk_0
to understand you could be on this show.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I was in New York.
spk_0
I interned in New York during college.
spk_0
And then I was in New York for about four years.
spk_0
And then I left for LA.
spk_0
And then I started dating someone in New York like a year
spk_0
and a half ago.
spk_0
So I've actually been back and forth, not so much
spk_0
because of the pandemic.
spk_0
But I've been back and forth.
spk_0
I thought I had escaped the like Brooklyn boyfriend,
spk_0
to the musician who lives in a loft bed.
spk_0
But I seem to have found that, although in a more queerer sense,
spk_0
we get in the same place.
spk_0
Oh, it always comes for you, doesn't it?
spk_0
They caught me sleeping.
spk_0
But that's OK because it's the same commute
spk_0
that we have from Queens to your Brooklyn boyfriend
spk_0
from LA to New York, you know.
spk_0
Yes, that train.
spk_0
spk_0
Yeah, it's the same train.
spk_0
Dude, that is so true.
spk_0
You think you get away from those goddamn musicians
spk_0
and then you're single for a minute
spk_0
and they find their way in.
spk_0
I swear to God, I have five of them on the roll of decks
spk_0
and they're all ruining my life.
spk_0
And I love them.
spk_0
Loft bed, the whole stuff.
spk_0
But now they actually moved.
spk_0
I did bring them out to LA with me.
spk_0
So we've upgraded question mark.
spk_0
I don't really know.
spk_0
Well, I think we're going to figure that out
spk_0
by talking about your New York life.
spk_0
We are going to decide here if you should go back to LA or not.
spk_0
OK, yeah, let me know.
spk_0
Let me know.
spk_0
Let me know.
spk_0
spk_0
And then our audience can chime in.
spk_0
So you came here because you were in college
spk_0
and you had an internship.
spk_0
So we already know why you were here.
spk_0
But what was your first apart?
spk_0
What kind of internship did you have?
spk_0
I was in school in Boston for journalism
spk_0
and I got an internship after my junior year at Viacom
spk_0
at the Daily Show.
spk_0
So I was working at the Daily Show for no money.
spk_0
They do not pay you.
spk_0
I think you pay them, right?
spk_0
Yep.
spk_0
Yeah, yeah.
spk_0
Now they pay because someone sued,
spk_0
but back when I did it, they did not pay insurance.
spk_0
Oh, Loft bed.
spk_0
I didn't hear a city with no income and sold a bunch of stuff
spk_0
and lived really far away from the office
spk_0
and was just like in a panic constantly.
spk_0
And so that was my first experience of living in New York
spk_0
was living there for the summer for this internship,
spk_0
where I was just no more.
spk_0
You know what, summer interns are good for who
spk_0
have to sell their stuff to come here,
spk_0
finding out the best food on a budget for both of them.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Um, bodega salads always.
spk_0
Oh, I would get a salad with the bodega
spk_0
and then I would try to hide the hard boiled eggs
spk_0
underneath the lettuce so that they wouldn't notice
spk_0
and charge me for the hard boiled eggs
spk_0
and then that would be like my protein constant.
spk_0
I mean, I would get the same bodega salad like every day,
spk_0
pile on ranch dressing to try to add calories.
spk_0
And then also you could get a pretty good bodega egg sandwich.
spk_0
So like I would do that.
spk_0
Eat a lot of Madeline's from Starbucks.
spk_0
Did you pay for those from Starbucks?
spk_0
Largely.
spk_0
I was only really shoplifting from Urban Outfitters
spk_0
at that time in my life.
spk_0
That I respect.
spk_0
That I respect and we need to continue to do.
spk_0
I'll always shop lift from Urban Outfitters.
spk_0
No, no mom and cop stuff.
spk_0
No shoplifting from bodega is nothing like that.
spk_0
But you can shop lift from Starbucks
spk_0
and you can shop lift from Urban Outfitters.
spk_0
Well, look at that way with it.
spk_0
Yeah, allegedly.
spk_0
You're gonna need that, you know, book for your coffee table.
spk_0
You can do that.
spk_0
Oh, I was stealing clothes.
spk_0
Because I was in an office job and I had no,
spk_0
I couldn't wear the same stuff every day
spk_0
and I had no clothes and my clothes looked like shit.
spk_0
And so I would just kind of try,
spk_0
I would get something at like forever 21 for like $1
spk_0
and then I would wear once, no fall apart and I'd like shit.
spk_0
So then I started getting really like this,
spk_0
maybe in the, like the start of my socialist revolution
spk_0
because I started getting really upset.
spk_0
I was like, what makes these people better than me
spk_0
that they can put Urban Outfitters and I can't.
spk_0
I'm a good person than I just stole from them.
spk_0
There's, it's funny you mentioned internships
spk_0
because I worked in fashion for about five years
spk_0
and that is I feel like parallel in terms of like
spk_0
horrible treatment of interns and one of,
spk_0
someone sued, someone sued Alice in Olivia, I believe.
spk_0
And there was like an intern revolution
spk_0
and I was always treated like dirt as an intern
spk_0
and like carrying rolls of fabric on my back for six hours,
spk_0
paying for cars and like everything's so important
spk_0
and everyone's so serious and this is an opportunity
spk_0
but you're being treated like garbage
spk_0
and then once one person sued, everyone started
spk_0
fucking come and correct and I was so happy about it.
spk_0
I'm like, yeah, this is so wrong.
spk_0
These are dresses.
spk_0
No, there was a guy that I interviewed for the bad with money book
spk_0
because I do a podcast about money
spk_0
and he had actually gone on Colbert
spk_0
and was talking about how it was illegal not to pay interns
spk_0
and how internships are like exploitation.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
And then he was on Colbert talking about it
spk_0
and then he was like, by the way,
spk_0
I know for a fact that you guys don't pay your interns.
spk_0
Oh, he did it on Colbert.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah, and I was like, and I had worked,
spk_0
the year I was working at the Daily Show
spk_0
was the first year of Colbert.
spk_0
So we didn't even really know if it was,
spk_0
if the Colbert report was gonna be like a successful show
spk_0
or not, we weren't sure it was just starting.
spk_0
But all the interns over there were like really excited
spk_0
and I knew I was at Viacom as well
spk_0
and Daily Show and Colbert were very even
spk_0
and I knew that they weren't getting paid either.
spk_0
Yeah, yeah.
spk_0
So you just saved up a bunch from selling things
spk_0
and well, so in Boston, I worked at the Boston Globe
spk_0
and that was a co-op internship
spk_0
but that paid me $500 every two weeks.
spk_0
So I didn't have any expensive, what was I buying?
spk_0
So I saved, so my rent was $500,
spk_0
animated $1000 a month.
spk_0
So I would save $500, like, you know,
spk_0
I would save a lot every month, maybe not 500,
spk_0
but I would save like 300 a month
spk_0
so that I could go to New York and do this internship.
spk_0
However, it was not financially fees,
spk_0
like certain points during the internship,
spk_0
I was like, I have to go home.
spk_0
Like multiple times I was like,
spk_0
that didn't have any money.
spk_0
Like multiple times I was like, I don't have any money,
spk_0
what am I gonna do?
spk_0
I don't have any money, what am I gonna do?
spk_0
I did a lot of selling my clothes.
spk_0
I sold a lot of electronics.
spk_0
Yeah, I mean, that was like, at one point,
spk_0
I was like, I don't know what to do
spk_0
and I called my grandmother
spk_0
and she gave me like my rent money
spk_0
which was like, I never, I've never done that.
spk_0
I would never do it again.
spk_0
Like, I'm very, I felt really guilty about it.
spk_0
She was, she is a weird, she is a very funny
spk_0
but like strange woman.
spk_0
So I was like, this is gonna come with some weird strands.
spk_0
I don't want to do about this.
spk_0
But then like my parents don't have any money
spk_0
but I knew I had one grandmother
spk_0
who maybe could help me and she did.
spk_0
And she, you came and she did the one
spk_0
that you're like, she says you had one ask
spk_0
your entire life.
spk_0
Right, kind of, yeah.
spk_0
And I was like, you know, what am I gonna,
spk_0
and at the time the daily show was so big
spk_0
that I was like, what am I not gonna take this internship?
spk_0
Like I have to.
spk_0
Well, yeah.
spk_0
But it also internships don't lead to anything.
spk_0
When I graduated and was looking for a job,
spk_0
I hit up everybody that I had contacted
spk_0
to that Comedy Central and nobody could help me.
spk_0
So there you go.
spk_0
But yeah, it's probably all scared
spk_0
that you're gonna take their job.
spk_0
That or like, but then I kind of go back and forth
spk_0
and I wonder if like, you know, did a later job
spk_0
see that on my resume and was that a deciding factor.
spk_0
Like who knows if it was worth it, quote unquote.
spk_0
But yeah, I, so I, but I had no, I had no money.
spk_0
I mean, one time I was, I was walking to from selling.
spk_0
I had like a alarm clock that you could also charge here.
spk_0
I pod in thing.
spk_0
Oh, and you just took us back.
spk_0
This is what you're this the before times.
spk_0
2007.
spk_0
Wow.
spk_0
Wow.
spk_0
I pod explain that.
spk_0
It was a phone, but you couldn't make phone calls.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
So phone.
spk_0
Yeah, exactly.
spk_0
It just had one app on it and that app was Spotify,
spk_0
but it wasn't all the things you could ever look up.
spk_0
It was just the songs you already had.
spk_0
Is this sounding good to anyone?
spk_0
Yeah, wow.
spk_0
I was just still had that.
spk_0
Yeah, like a disc man, but anyway, so, so I had this like,
spk_0
this alarm clock slash iPod charger thing.
spk_0
And I remember I put it in a brown paper bag
spk_0
and I was going to a pawn shop to sell it.
spk_0
My old friend, a pawn shop, a pawn shop to sell it big band.
spk_0
And, and it was walking it was super, where was it?
spk_0
New York.
spk_0
Where's it?
spk_0
On the west side, but like down.
spk_0
No, it was like, what's that harbor that like dock on the west side?
spk_0
That's like where the strip clubs are?
spk_0
Kind of.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
What area is that?
spk_0
Chelsea.
spk_0
It's like Chelsea.
spk_0
Yeah, it was like Chelsea.
spk_0
And and and I was walking and it was hot and I had probably like a $2 dress
spk_0
from Forever 21 on.
spk_0
And I and I feel that pawn shops are very in interesting neighborhoods
spk_0
where there's also like a Kennedy Fried chicken.
spk_0
Oh, also a check cashing place.
spk_0
spk_0
Make man in the check cashing place.
spk_0
Like a store.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Because you can get, I mean, don't do this,
spk_0
but you can get like a payday loan.
spk_0
Anyway, I've made great choices.
spk_0
But so, so I'm walking and I have it in a brown paper bag.
spk_0
And I'm like, okay, I'm going to sell this and then I'll have money for like
spk_0
today and tomorrow.
spk_0
Awesome.
spk_0
And the bag, the handle of the bag broke.
spk_0
And the thing hit the sidewalk and broke.
spk_0
Oh, my God.
spk_0
And then I sat down on the ground.
spk_0
I'm 21.
spk_0
I sat down on the ground, the ground in New York City.
spk_0
The ground.
spk_0
I sat down on the ground and started crying.
spk_0
Of course.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And then nobody stopped because why would they?
spk_0
spk_0
And then this is New York.
spk_0
And then that's when I called my grandmother and I was like sobbing.
spk_0
And she was like, I don't fully understand what just happened.
spk_0
But I can't really get iPod.
spk_0
And I was like, I don't own anymore like trying to sell my last one.
spk_0
It is broken down because of the bag.
spk_0
And then she was like, okay, okay, okay.
spk_0
And then we've all been there just sitting on the floor crying.
spk_0
I don't know who needs to hear this, but here you go.
spk_0
You deserve to feel better than you do today.
spk_0
And you can with headspace, they make meditation simple.
spk_0
Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations
spk_0
in an easy to use app.
spk_0
Headspace is one of the only meditation apps advancing the field of mindfulness
spk_0
and meditation through clinically validated research.
spk_0
So whatever the situation, headspace really can help you feel better.
spk_0
Overwhelmed, headspace has a three minute SOS meditation for you.
spk_0
Need some help pulling asleep?
spk_0
Headspace has wind down sessions.
spk_0
Their members swear by.
spk_0
And for parents, headspace even has morning meditations you can do with your kids.
spk_0
Headspace's approach to mindfulness can reduce stress, improve sleep,
spk_0
boost focus and increase your overall sense of well-being.
spk_0
I absolutely love using headspace.
spk_0
It makes me feel so calm and so happy.
spk_0
And you deserve to feel happier.
spk_0
And headspace is meditation made simple.
spk_0
So go to headspace.com slash New York.
spk_0
That's headspace.com slash New York for a free one month trial
spk_0
with access to headspace is full library of meditations for every situation.
spk_0
This is the best deal offered right now.
spk_0
Headtoheadspace.com slash New York today.
spk_0
But like before I called her, I was like, okay, so I have to go home.
spk_0
So how do I get to my parents live in Florida?
spk_0
So like I got to go to Florida.
spk_0
Or I had my roommates were still at our old apartment in Boston.
spk_0
So there was a world in which I could have taken like a $1 fun walk.
spk_0
Us made it to Boston.
spk_0
I've hacked my old roommates.
spk_0
But I was in my head was also like, and then once I get there,
spk_0
I have to figure out I have to go to Florida.
spk_0
I have to go home to my parents because I have no money and nothing to show for my life.
spk_0
And then I was like, maybe, okay, wait.
spk_0
So then I called my grandmother and she was like, yeah, I'll give you your rent money.
spk_0
And she was like, Gabby, what happened with your rent money?
spk_0
You kept your radio.
spk_0
In exchange, she's like, I'll give you $500 for your rent money in exchange for 15 years of talking about it.
spk_0
Okay, that's fine.
spk_0
Fair.
spk_0
I mean, rough.
spk_0
When you're there, I was 21.
spk_0
I had zero money and I was working like 40 hours a week.
spk_0
And like, it was hard.
spk_0
It's a hard place.
spk_0
I know why people leave.
spk_0
Like I was like, I'm not cut out for this.
spk_0
But then I came back.
spk_0
Then I went to Boston, finished my senior year and came right on back to New York.
spk_0
You love it.
spk_0
It's like the fuck boys in Brooklyn.
spk_0
They just draw you back in.
spk_0
They're so bad, but they're so good.
spk_0
There is pawn shops.
spk_0
So I've sold jewelry to pawn shops.
spk_0
So I used to lose all my money drinking.
spk_0
I would go and drink and spend all my money.
spk_0
Used to spend all your money drinking.
spk_0
Not lose it.
spk_0
I mean, same thing.
spk_0
Used to choose to spend your money drinking instead of pay your rent or for food.
spk_0
I made it choice.
spk_0
I lost it to the wind to the ATM fees.
spk_0
The fucking ATM fees at these goddamn bars waking up and being like,
spk_0
oh my God, $6 fee.
spk_0
But I would lose it drinking and then I would start because I was such a bad alcoholic.
spk_0
I was like, I still want to drink.
spk_0
So let's do like alcoholism budgeting.
spk_0
Where I was like, all right, let's do the alcoholism budget first.
spk_0
So malt liquor, you know, bodega beer, whatever the fuck that's going in first.
spk_0
And then we figure out food and food's going to be like eggs,
spk_0
yep, beans, you know,
spk_0
this is just like when Gwyneth Paltrow was trying to live on like a wage budget.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
I'm an alcoholic, you know,
spk_0
goop Gwyneth Paltrow living.
spk_0
So cilantro.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
But I run salsa on almost anything.
spk_0
Oh, you know, up it.
spk_0
It's also with the spoon.
spk_0
It's also with the spoon.
spk_0
Salsa is a pretty good investment.
spk_0
If people listening are trying to save money on food, let me tell you,
spk_0
salsa goes a long way.
spk_0
It really does.
spk_0
We're going to call this episode, don't try this at home.
spk_0
Investing in salsa.
spk_0
Salsa is such a good one.
spk_0
I remember once I was living like so broke and I had an internship actually at Versace.
spk_0
Same thing, unpaid.
spk_0
They had to fucking.
spk_0
Now Versace can't really afford to pay people, Andrea.
spk_0
That's true.
spk_0
Honestly, they were pretty fucking broke.
spk_0
It was coming apart of the seams.
spk_0
It was before their H&M collab and like Gwyneth,
spk_0
no one gave a shit about Versace at that time.
spk_0
But that's a pretty bougie broke.
spk_0
Of course, well, that's the thing.
spk_0
I'm taking the train to fucking, you know, this, the designer row of like all these beautiful
spk_0
stores.
spk_0
I'm sitting there working.
spk_0
I'm hungover as shit.
spk_0
Everything's gold in Versace, by the way.
spk_0
Everything's just covered in gold.
spk_0
They're all laughing at you.
spk_0
You also have to look good.
spk_0
So it's like I have a blowout.
spk_0
It's the thing.
spk_0
Mm-hmm.
spk_0
Blowout, smoky eye.
spk_0
I want to die.
spk_0
I'm starving.
spk_0
I'm so sad.
spk_0
And they don't realize, and I don't want to be like women, whatever.
spk_0
But like, it's for women, especially like,
spk_0
do you think my male counterpart interns were like needed to get blowouts and their nails
spk_0
done in a makeup on to look presentable for work?
spk_0
Like they could show up in the same white shirt every day.
spk_0
Same pants.
spk_0
Same pants.
spk_0
I have to wait.
spk_0
Like, it was such a job to look office ready as a woman.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Can you imagine that right now that Gabi has orange hair and definitely does whatever the
spk_0
fuck she wants?
spk_0
You are on a pedestal of doing whatever the fuck you want.
spk_0
You have parlayed your essence into this huge situation, I think.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Because at every moment you said, yes, we're already talking about this.
spk_0
Now I'm going to talk about the next level of shit I'm not allowed to talk about, which
spk_0
is how I describe your career, which I love.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Thank you.
spk_0
I get in trouble, but I appreciate it.
spk_0
I think sometimes I, I think that's been like what's good and what's bad too.
spk_0
It's just like sort of running my mouth like as soon as the NDA is up or like a soon as
spk_0
you have to like all of a sudden.
spk_0
Like definitely, yeah, which has served me well and also has led to certain things where
spk_0
people like when I started bad with money and I, the podcast and I started being very
spk_0
honest about money.
spk_0
Like, people loved it.
spk_0
Obviously, and it's led to like seven seasons of the show, but also like some brand deals
spk_0
that I was doing at the time pulled out because they were like, well, we don't want to
spk_0
work with someone who's being honest about how she's just doing these ads for money.
spk_0
And I was like, oh, that's cute.
spk_0
How you think that my fans don't understand that I'm just.
spk_0
Yeah, I love Blue Apron so much.
spk_0
I'm about this.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
I mean, excuse me.
spk_0
I have nothing to do with conversation.
spk_0
I do love, I do love Blue Apron, but you're going to have to frame me a little bit of money.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
So I think like, you know, I don't know that I've necessarily been quite a savvy business woman
spk_0
in that sense, but the honesty I think has been, I think, resonated with people or really
spk_0
not resonated with people.
spk_0
So where was the first place that you did live in New York?
spk_0
Do you count the internship as the first place or?
spk_0
Well, back.
spk_0
In the internship I lived on Meeker and Kingsland, like in Greenpoint.
spk_0
And I lived above a pizza restaurant with a guy named Dario who was an understudy in
spk_0
Jersey Boys.
spk_0
Well, right.
spk_0
And he had a big huge fish tank and then I and a lot of X-Men comics.
spk_0
And then I went to the fair, like the Brooklyn fair and I won a goldfish.
spk_0
And I was like, oh, I got a goldfish and I put it in the fish tank with his like very
spk_0
expensive fish and they ate it.
spk_0
Oh, I mean, he had like, we had like, we had like, we had like, we had like, we had like,
spk_0
real fish like real fish.
spk_0
Isn't that very metaphoric for New York City?
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Yep.
spk_0
What is the goldfish ate his nest?
spk_0
No, no.
spk_0
It's nice fish ate my goldfish right away.
spk_0
Morning, the loss of a pet has to be one of the most stressful things that I've ever been
spk_0
through.
spk_0
So I can't imagine how you felt when that happened.
spk_0
And I would definitely recommend you get some counseling and what better than better help
spk_0
online counseling, better help online counseling is so amazing because you could do it from
spk_0
anywhere in the world.
spk_0
You can chat, you can text, you can video call.
spk_0
It's so amazing because you don't have to wait in any kind of uncomfortable waiting room.
spk_0
Everything you share is confidential.
spk_0
It's convenient.
spk_0
It's professional.
spk_0
It's affordable.
spk_0
And so many people have been using better help that they're recruiting additional counselors
spk_0
in all 50 states.
spk_0
I love love love better help.
spk_0
It has changed the way that I do therapy.
spk_0
I look forward to all of my sessions because I have no commute.
spk_0
As a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting better help dot com slash
spk_0
New York.
spk_0
Join over one million people taking charge of their mental health.
spk_0
Again, that's better help hlp dot com slash New York.
spk_0
Uh, and I slept on a mattress on the floor.
spk_0
Um, and that, but so that was like the internship.
spk_0
But then my, when I got to New York for real, I lived at my brother's place for a while
spk_0
in Terry town.
spk_0
And then I eventually got Terry town is like an hour north of the.
spk_0
Yeah, took the metro north.
spk_0
Yeah, yeah.
spk_0
Terry town is a great place because Terry town is at home of, um, but well actually right
spk_0
by Terry town is sleepy hollow.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And they have just an amazing cemetery.
spk_0
Everyone knows that I love to explore cemeteries.
spk_0
And I used to go swimming in there.
spk_0
It was like a brook in sleepy hollow.
spk_0
I'm sorry.
spk_0
What?
spk_0
Within like you in the brook, how do you get into the brook?
spk_0
There's no they and there's no, there's no, go in the brook and you swim in the brook.
spk_0
Um, so basically you pretend that you're there to visit, you know, your grandparents
spk_0
and then you just keep walking and you walk down the rocks into the brook and you
spk_0
swam and it was just like a fun, it was a fun hang.
spk_0
What is a brook?
spk_0
Is it a river?
spk_0
Is it smaller than a river?
spk_0
It's like a small, very, very small river.
spk_0
There's rocks.
spk_0
The water is maybe like three feet deep.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
So Tracy's like, I get in my car, go to the brook.
spk_0
I was going to say that accent is really solid.
spk_0
I used to live not too far from there just over the tap and Z bridge.
spk_0
So I'm familiar with the area a little bit like Nyak.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
White plants.
spk_0
So these are all like super beautiful nature field of very outside of the city.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Very like when you want to, you know, have children, you consider upstate or long island
spk_0
and upstate I think is a little more open minded, a little bit more on the left.
spk_0
Lefty.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
spk_0
So, so yes, so I was staying with my brother and I got a job at the Huffington Post.
spk_0
So I was taking the metro north and every day and then I got an apartment in Chinatown.
spk_0
That was my first apartment.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And this is Chinatown Manhattan.
spk_0
Yeah, Brum and Allen.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Oh my God.
spk_0
I want you to talk so much about Chinatown.
spk_0
I lived on the lower east side bordering Chinatown.
spk_0
I love Chinatown.
spk_0
You could smell it in the summer.
spk_0
I will know that.
spk_0
spk_0
I loved it.
spk_0
I loved it.
spk_0
I absolutely loved it.
spk_0
But it has a lot of special things like what was your blog like?
spk_0
So we were above like a dominoes.
spk_0
I think that's still there.
spk_0
And that's weird.
spk_0
I'll send to Chinese dominoes.
spk_0
And it was, it was like a four story walk up very small and I shared it with this girl
spk_0
Tiffany and there was like a wall in between our rooms, but it wasn't like really a wall.
spk_0
It had like a space at the top.
spk_0
There's a lot of, yes, so you look a lot of people that we talked to that you live in
spk_0
a tanning salon.
spk_0
That's basically what happened.
spk_0
And this is like a very popular wall to be in New York City.
spk_0
Like I said, I call it the tanning salon wall.
spk_0
I think we should call it maybe we should dub it like the New York City half wall.
spk_0
You know, you could, in case there was an emergency, she can send supplies over it.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
But it's true that people in New York when they're trying to like if you're going to be
spk_0
someone's roommate, they'll, they'll say it like it's a selling point.
spk_0
Oh, they love it.
spk_0
They love it.
spk_0
Oh, open air.
spk_0
There's some sort of fucking five dollar word for it.
spk_0
No, and the guy, the guy that was letting me live there was very Catholic and there was
spk_0
a huge Jesus on a cross on the wall in my bedroom and I'm Jewish.
spk_0
And I had a girlfriend at the time.
spk_0
She was also Jewish and he was like, you can't have sleep overs, which like I was 22.
spk_0
So at the time I was like, I guess this is reasonable.
spk_0
So I was like, sure, okay, I didn't know what landlords were allowed to say or not say.
spk_0
And so he was like, well, they're like your mom and dad.
spk_0
And I think your mom and dad would tell you to do a landlord has the right to tell you
spk_0
what to do.
spk_0
So I mean, whether it be your sexuality or the way you live your life or even your religion,
spk_0
the color of your skin and anything that they would like to say it's open for, you know,
spk_0
what they want.
spk_0
And I said, can I take the Jesus down?
spk_0
And he was like, no, no, no, okay.
spk_0
And then Tiffany lived in the other room and she had this fiance, David, but then she
spk_0
was always cheating on him.
spk_0
But then some, so I would hear it.
spk_0
But then sometimes I would come home and he'd just be in our shower.
spk_0
So I was like, what is this?
spk_0
What is the deal here?
spk_0
And then, wait, clarifying question.
spk_0
So when was the first instance of when you're like, she's cheating on David?
spk_0
Like there's got to be a first time, you're like, that's not David.
spk_0
Do you remember?
spk_0
Or was it just kind of like established that she was like, you know, or maybe you were confused
spk_0
because sometimes they see a new character in the show and I'm like, is this the same character?
spk_0
Or was she's poly?
spk_0
Or did he really get into shape or just change something about his appearance?
spk_0
You don't know.
spk_0
Also, I will tell you this from being a Catholic, cheating is okay.
spk_0
Homosexual, homosexuality, not so much.
spk_0
Well, Tracy, so that's, I'm just giving you all of the laws, you know?
spk_0
The only reason that I, the, I don't remember the first time at the big one was she worked
spk_0
at Trader Joe's and she had all her friends from Trader, the Trader Joe's in Union Square.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
She had all the Trader Joe's, she's so recognizable right now from this story.
spk_0
So all, so all the, these Trader Joe's like employees would come over and like hang out
spk_0
or whatever.
spk_0
And then one time I came home and I could hear her and two other women in her room, hooking
spk_0
up and I was like, Tiffany, Tiffany, wait a minute.
spk_0
This is the same apartment with the Jesus Cross.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
But how did it?
spk_0
Right, but how did the Jesus Cross keep that from happening?
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
I know you would stop it.
spk_0
I know you would think.
spk_0
Oh my God.
spk_0
spk_0
And then, uh, yeah.
spk_0
And, and the apartment was lopsided.
spk_0
So the floor was crooked, which I could tell because whenever I would cook eggs, the eggs
spk_0
would slide.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Yes, that's such a tell.
spk_0
And you're like, is there something wrong with my pan?
spk_0
Nope, it's the floor.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Mm-hmm.
spk_0
Uh, did you have the room on the higher side or the lower side?
spk_0
The higher side.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Well, that's good because in case there was an accident on your floor, it just flies
spk_0
through the floor.
spk_0
Yeah, yeah.
spk_0
Or all the jizz from her cheating just drains, you know?
spk_0
spk_0
Well, or lack of jizz, she's having a really good time with some cis women she worked with.
spk_0
Uh, then, so then, uh, that area was really cool because there was like, my, I had a friend
spk_0
who lived like over first on, um, or he lived like, like, closer to, what's that restaurant?
spk_0
Max Fish.
spk_0
Oh, yeah, yeah.
spk_0
Yes, yes.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
So he lived right by Max Fish and he had a one bedroom loft.
spk_0
This guy Ryan, who I like barely knew.
spk_0
And I would stay at his place all the time, not sexually.
spk_0
Like he had a, he had like a big open air like warehouse looking studio.
spk_0
Oh my god.
spk_0
Like, for like the, his bed was in the middle of it and then there were no rooms or anything.
spk_0
It was just like kitchen here that had like one room.
spk_0
And, um, and he had a shower that was like in the middle of the room.
spk_0
Like the bathroom was like surrounded by a curtain in the middle of the room.
spk_0
And I would stay there all the time because I like hated Tiffany.
spk_0
Uh, and his friends were like, low-reside hipster type.
spk_0
So they were at Max Fish.
spk_0
They were at like a couple of the other bars that were on that street.
spk_0
It's like, you know that one street.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
There's Alan and Ludlow and Ludlow.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
So that's where the surf reality was.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
A collective unconscious.
spk_0
A collective unconscious, yeah.
spk_0
So these were places where artists would showcase their stuff like their one shows.
spk_0
There.
spk_0
And like, all the names that you are.
spk_0
I P. All the names that you hear of now, I believe, did like some kind of performance in that area.
spk_0
Such a good area.
spk_0
Um, am I wrong?
spk_0
Was Max Fish?
spk_0
Is it written about in Paddy Smith's book, Just Kids?
spk_0
Is that Max Fish?
spk_0
There's a bar where they would all hang out.
spk_0
Um, what's the one?
spk_0
Um, it's on.
spk_0
There's, so there's a hotel now across the street.
spk_0
There's a hotel across the street from where my old apartment was to stand.
spk_0
I ended up.
spk_0
I'm maybe a hotel.
spk_0
Hotel, Shantel.
spk_0
I'll tell a little bit now.
spk_0
And I can see you could see my old apartment.
spk_0
So like later in my life, I was staying at that hotel across the street.
spk_0
I could see my old apartment.
spk_0
And it was like the end of like a coming of age move.
spk_0
Was Tiffany in there fucking everyone from Trader Joe's.
spk_0
Uh-huh.
spk_0
And I hope so.
spk_0
Um, and then no, she and David are married.
spk_0
Five kids.
spk_0
They live in upstate New York.
spk_0
You know, I mean, no, they don't.
spk_0
I have no idea.
spk_0
But you know, that's definitely Tiffany's dad, baby.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
Um, and then, yes, so that was my first apartment.
spk_0
And I love, I mean, there was a common, there was a standup comedy show at the bar that was like right on the corner.
spk_0
Mm-hmm.
spk_0
Uh, called like,
spk_0
was it no fun bar?
spk_0
Do you know, I don't remember no fun bar?
spk_0
Of course I remember no fun bar.
spk_0
No fun was on Luddlow.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
So like, or it had a basement.
spk_0
I know.
spk_0
No, it was just in the back room.
spk_0
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
spk_0
There's a bar that had a downstairs that had a lot of comedy shows.
spk_0
Was it a gay bar also?
spk_0
No, it was like, it was right on the corner, uh, on.
spk_0
Room on the corner.
spk_0
I don't know.
spk_0
But then I would walk to Chinatown and I would like get groceries and stuff and hang and like go to restaurants there.
spk_0
Oh, can we talk about groceries in Chinatown?
spk_0
Because that is a whole different.
spk_0
I remember the first time I went into a grocery store.
spk_0
First of all, like skincare products that you never find, you know what I mean?
spk_0
You go into a, yes, it's great.
spk_0
Oh my god, it's so cheap.
spk_0
It's like the Korean shit that's like the good ass shit.
spk_0
You just got to know what to look for.
spk_0
And then obviously in Chinatown, the markets are open air.
spk_0
So you're like, that's a fish I've never seen before.
spk_0
What is that fruit?
spk_0
Oh, that's a bag of eels.
spk_0
Is that a fruit or a vegetable or an extraterrestrial?
spk_0
I don't know.
spk_0
There are a lot of hanging ducks in the window.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
It was so fun.
spk_0
So much fun.
spk_0
Yeah, you could wander around Chinatown for hours.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And just like get a bunch of, yeah, it was like, you know, you could get it like you said,
spk_0
a whole bag of eels for like five dollars.
spk_0
And not the bag, it isn't getting the bag of eels.
spk_0
But I would get like a bag of like vegetables or something for so little money.
spk_0
So that was good.
spk_0
And the rent wasn't that high.
spk_0
But I just also, like I didn't own anything.
spk_0
It was like very weird.
spk_0
I had like a pan and I was like, make my eggs for the day.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
And then I moved to the upper east side to 60 second and second with a friend of mine.
spk_0
Wow.
spk_0
And I lived in the closet.
spk_0
Closet.
spk_0
Literally the door slid like this is a closet.
spk_0
And I had, and I had my bed in there and my bed was the whole room.
spk_0
So you like walked in.
spk_0
It kind of worked for me a little bit as a whole.
spk_0
It's a coffin.
spk_0
You lived in a coffin.
spk_0
But like for hooking up, like I'd be like, hey, this is my apartment.
spk_0
Sorry.
spk_0
Like I don't, you know, I live here.
spk_0
So we have to go in my room.
spk_0
Oh, we're sitting on the bed.
spk_0
Oh, so weird.
spk_0
Because there's no room to sit.
spk_0
So like in a way, but yeah, that's where I was living when I started dating Gondelman.
spk_0
Was in that tiny, uh, hemda and I as mutual friend.
spk_0
And it was a Gondelman.
spk_0
And it was a Gondelman.
spk_0
It was a Gondelman from heaven.
spk_0
I lived in that little tiny closet room, uh, where my bed took up the whole room.
spk_0
Wait.
spk_0
Could you stand up and like reach the ceiling if you were like standing on your bed where
spk_0
you like close to the sun?
spk_0
Oh, yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And it was a walk up as well.
spk_0
And um, and that's how you landed the Gondelman.
spk_0
And that was right.
spk_0
So this is the rich place.
spk_0
These are, this is where the rich people live in here.
spk_0
My friend, yeah, my friend had the big bedroom, uh, the one bedroom.
spk_0
Yeah, the only bedroom.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And then there was a hallway real real road.
spk_0
Hall of dinner.
spk_0
A second.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
A second person.
spk_0
And there was a bathroom at the end of it.
spk_0
That was the water bedroom.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Small.
spk_0
And you put it, you had to like weasel your way around the door in order to close it to get
spk_0
to the toilet.
spk_0
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
spk_0
Shower.
spk_0
Uh, and, uh, and ladies and gentlemen, this is how the rich live on the Upper East Side
spk_0
in York City.
spk_0
It is a dream.
spk_0
What a dream.
spk_0
Oh, it was so awful.
spk_0
Um, but I was the rent in that Upper East Side apartment.
spk_0
600, 800, something like that.
spk_0
That's still a lot.
spk_0
I paid 700.
spk_0
She paid 1000 something.
spk_0
I imagine seven.
spk_0
Well, that was just a closet.
spk_0
I know.
spk_0
I know.
spk_0
I know.
spk_0
But you know that it wasn't really that nuts to rent a closet for $700.
spk_0
You know, I know that it sounds like, oh, I was renting a bedroom for 700, but that's not
spk_0
what you were doing.
spk_0
No, you were renting a closet.
spk_0
Oh, no.
spk_0
Personally, I would rent my closet 100% 500 right now.
spk_0
It doesn't mean I don't have a nice apartment.
spk_0
It means I do have a closet that is definitely not a bedroom.
spk_0
And I was like, I live in Manhattan now.
spk_0
It's so exciting.
spk_0
You know, I live in like the, not like the Lower East Side apartment, whatever, which I'm
spk_0
renting a trash shoot.
spk_0
It's amazing.
spk_0
I mean, yeah, it was, yeah, it was a lot.
spk_0
And I was like a, you know, like you said, in terms of partying, New York, I think lends
spk_0
itself to, I'm just going to drink till I show up.
spk_0
So if you want to be a drunk New York City,
spk_0
we will roll the carpet out for you and allow you to do it till you almost kill yourself.
spk_0
Easily.
spk_0
Yeah, I miss that.
spk_0
I live in LA now and I miss it so much because the one thing I miss about New York is,
spk_0
okay, that's one vote for LA.
spk_0
I mean, yeah, no, I know against.
spk_0
Let's bring it to the ground.
spk_0
I miss wandering around and finding what you find and seeing who you see.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And then like you're like, I don't know, I want to like get a drink here, get a drink
spk_0
there, walk around like in LA, it's very much like I'm going here to see this person.
spk_0
Yeah, it's just spread out.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Or like I'm having drinks here and this is where we're staying.
spk_0
We're not going to go, you can't just like park.
spk_0
Okay, I'm going to find parking again.
spk_0
You know what I mean?
spk_0
You, you have to sort of like stay in an area, whereas like in New York, we'd be like,
spk_0
now we're in Fort Green.
spk_0
I don't know.
spk_0
Somehow we're on the upper west side.
spk_0
So I had drugs who knows.
spk_0
Now we're here.
spk_0
Like it was like very much all over the place and I think it lends itself to, well,
spk_0
there's some fun stories in LA, but I think New York lent itself to better sort of like
spk_0
unexpected stories.
spk_0
And then why you do this podcast, I'm sure.
spk_0
Yeah, you can leave the house and be like, what's going to happen today?
spk_0
What's going to happen today?
spk_0
And you're like, oh, I'm in a lady's wrestling competition.
spk_0
This is fun.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah, that seems very specific.
spk_0
What happened?
spk_0
I mean, did I, did I perform a theatrical all ladies wrestling competition with him?
spk_0
Does X Husband one night?
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Was it theatrical?
spk_0
Not really.
spk_0
But yeah, did it, did an irate lesbian swing a hammer at my head?
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Did a polyamorous couple try to take me to a swingers club?
spk_0
And I said, no, thank you.
spk_0
And then I talked about my podcast in kind of a candid way.
spk_0
And then I got a long email that I was like an uptight bitch.
spk_0
And I should keep my mouth shut.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Is that what you want?
spk_0
That's where I got to tell you, I apologize for that email, but I thought you were uptight.
spk_0
Did I, were they like, I want to take you to a swingers club in Queens?
spk_0
And I was like, I don't drink.
spk_0
And they're like, that's okay.
spk_0
And then later like, but we can get you drunk.
spk_0
And I'm like, but I'm sober.
spk_0
So why do you keep fucking pushing it weirdo?
spk_0
And maybe you know what?
spk_0
You deserve your name to be said in the fucking podcast.
spk_0
Anyways, that's just adjacent and crew.
spk_0
Yeah, Jason.
spk_0
I don't know you anything.
spk_0
Only in New York where we name name.
spk_0
I know.
spk_0
I fully used a bunch of real names.
spk_0
I loved it.
spk_0
I loved it.
spk_0
I love using real names.
spk_0
Isn't that the thrill of it?
spk_0
Also in New York City, like, I feel like we are so interested that it's like, no, it's
spk_0
the other Tiffany that worked at Trader Joe's and Union Square that fucked everyone in my
spk_0
apartment and was my roommate.
spk_0
It's the other one.
spk_0
And you know what?
spk_0
You can almost sell that.
spk_0
You can almost sell that in New York.
spk_0
It's true.
spk_0
You're really good.
spk_0
David, I'm sorry.
spk_0
If you didn't figure it out by now.
spk_0
David.
spk_0
You're making your problems.
spk_0
Oh God, David, are you okay?
spk_0
Do you need to write us an email?
spk_0
David, better help.
spk_0
Use cold.
spk_0
Better help.
spk_0
spk_0
Don't come slash New York for 10% off.
spk_0
That's a bonus ad right there.
spk_0
Oh my God.
spk_0
That's so funny.
spk_0
So you were also a performer during this time.
spk_0
Were you telling us about an open mic or some kind of show that happened one time?
spk_0
Was that on the lower east side?
spk_0
Where was that?
spk_0
Yeah, it was on the lower east side.
spk_0
Yeah, I had, I was doing a show.
spk_0
I got, I was on stage.
spk_0
I got yelled at.
spk_0
I mean, this is probably like a very normal story for a female standup comedian.
spk_0
I got yelled at by some guy and then followed.
spk_0
Oh, yeah.
spk_0
Well, what he was following you was he telling you how to do better?
spk_0
How did you better and also like that I should date him for last.
spk_0
Final more.
spk_0
Yes, my old more be his girlfriend, all kinds of stuff that he had.
spk_0
I mean, if you want a career, you got to do what you got to do.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
What were you wearing?
spk_0
Was it stolen urban outfitters?
spk_0
Exactly.
spk_0
Because that's that is kind of sexy.
spk_0
He was actually the manager of the urban outfitters on 16th and 8th or wherever I used
spk_0
to steal from.
spk_0
Shout out to Justin.
spk_0
Yes, it was like, yeah, I do.
spk_0
I have a story that involves a lot of areas of New York City, I guess.
spk_0
That's like not so much a performance story, but I had a friend, I had a very good friend
spk_0
who now still lives in New York and and is like the embodiment of New York to me.
spk_0
This gay guy Nick who's a very good friend of mine from college and we went to I just,
spk_0
so he was the type of person where you would like go out and you'd be like, where's this
spk_0
going to end up?
spk_0
We don't know.
spk_0
Love it.
spk_0
And he was dating this guy and he was and the guy threw a rockabilly themed party.
spk_0
Like every weekend.
spk_0
Auto Shots.
spk_0
Auto Shots.
spk_0
It was in Fort Green.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Auto is the home of the rockabilly in Brooklyn.
spk_0
spk_0
Auto.
spk_0
Yeah, the Tiki Bar Rockabilly place.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
It was, I don't think the bar itself was for rockabilly.
spk_0
I just think the party.
spk_0
It was like a gay rockabilly party.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Love it.
spk_0
And so you, so we went me, Nick and his friend, Nick and my friend, Vicki, who's like a New
spk_0
York local.
spk_0
So Nick and I went to college together.
spk_0
Vicki's like from New York.
spk_0
Vicki.
spk_0
But like I have such a soft spot too because she's like just such a her mother.
spk_0
They're from the, the city and her mom, you know, she grew up in the city, which like kids
spk_0
that grew up in the city.
spk_0
I'm like, yeah, why do you think I have these mother fuckers?
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I'm like, amazing.
spk_0
Um, so we go to the gay rockabilly party and we like, I'm a way there on the subway,
spk_0
probably like kill a bottle of wine to who knows.
spk_0
We get there and I am, I am what is the drug?
spk_0
Oh, I am new to cocaine.
spk_0
What was the drug?
spk_0
Because there's another like ecstasy story.
spk_0
Molly.
spk_0
spk_0
I was like pretty new to cocaine.
spk_0
And so we were like, exciting time to be alive.
spk_0
I know.
spk_0
And so we were, we got there and we were like, and I think there was like some awkwardness
spk_0
of like between Nick and the guy he was seeing.
spk_0
Like it maybe was like, we shouldn't have gone because it was like a little too forward
spk_0
or something.
spk_0
So we're like, uh, like he's not really paying attention to us.
spk_0
Let's just like get super fucked up on coke.
spk_0
Great.
spk_0
That's a great.
spk_0
Go do that in the bathroom of this bar and Fort Green.
spk_0
I'm like,
spk_0
I mean, is it really like a coke?
spk_0
Isn't like a coke place at all?
spk_0
Fort Greens like old, these like couples and stuff.
spk_0
spk_0
And I had never actually been to like, I had never been to anywhere in Brooklyn that
spk_0
wasn't like Williamsburg or Parkslow.
spk_0
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
spk_0
So, uh, and then I went to that beautiful movie theater in Cobble Hill, but like,
spk_0
other than yeah, yeah, yeah.
spk_0
Fort Greens like strollers.
spk_0
Yeah, it was like, I mean, yeah, but it's not a frozen yogurt.
spk_0
In my head at the time, I was like, it's so far out in Brooklyn.
spk_0
We're like in a part of Brooklyn.
spk_0
I don't even know where we are.
spk_0
And, uh, and so we're like, okay, let's go.
spk_0
We're going to go talk.
spk_0
We're going to go mingle.
spk_0
We're going to go talk to people or whatever.
spk_0
So like then I sort of, it goes a little bit fuzzy.
spk_0
I, I wake up.
spk_0
So then the three of us are separate the next morning we wake up.
spk_0
I, I wake up in an NYU dorm.
spk_0
I've opened up an NYU dorm.
spk_0
We shouldn't be proud.
spk_0
Okay, let's, let's be totally honest.
spk_0
Uh-huh.
spk_0
We've all woken up in an NYU.
spk_0
Yeah, I don't think any of us went to NYU.
spk_0
No, I didn't attend NYU.
spk_0
And do you have never been woken up in an NYU dorm?
spk_0
I can't get any one of the people I party with who were educated in the least.
spk_0
So it's like, okay, first of all, first of all, respect.
spk_0
I woke up in a Tish dorm.
spk_0
So that is a very different animal.
spk_0
No one said anything about education.
spk_0
Yeah, that Tish, a Tish make your own degree.
spk_0
Yeah, this is, this is nothing to do with education.
spk_0
This has to do with money and blonde tear and blue eyes.
spk_0
That's what this has to do with.
spk_0
So I woke up in an NYU dorm with this girl.
spk_0
And we had, I guess, sexiled her roommate who is very angry at us.
spk_0
Sexiled, and then that term.
spk_0
Yeah, can you?
spk_0
College.
spk_0
What does that mean?
spk_0
It means that you put like a sock on the door and you're like,
spk_0
roommate can't come in.
spk_0
Like I'm hooking up with someone.
spk_0
Yeah, I'm like, sleep on the couch out of sex.
spk_0
Sexiled.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
It's not a polite thing to do.
spk_0
And so that, the sexile someone, so then I like creep.
spk_0
So I creep out.
spk_0
I'm like, oh my god, oh my god.
spk_0
So I like get dressed.
spk_0
I creep out like down the stairs and get to the bottom and the like security guard.
spk_0
It's like, you can't, you have to sign out.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
And I'm like, I don't, I don't go here.
spk_0
And he was like, yeah, you have to sign out.
spk_0
You have to have like an ID.
spk_0
Yes, the ID.
spk_0
There's a leaving.
spk_0
Who cares about the ID?
spk_0
I was like, I, and he was like, you have to go like, and I was like, well,
spk_0
she's asleep.
spk_0
And he was like, you have to go wake her up.
spk_0
And she has to come down and sign you out.
spk_0
And I was like, oh my god.
spk_0
I like went back up and was like, I'm so sorry.
spk_0
You have to sign me out.
spk_0
And she was like, okay.
spk_0
So she like got up, got dressed, came down to sign.
spk_0
She signs me out.
spk_0
And she has to write her name on the thing to sign me out.
spk_0
And I like watch her write her name.
spk_0
And I'm like, oh my god, your name is Sam Cook.
spk_0
Like the singer.
spk_0
And she goes, yeah, you said that last night as well.
spk_0
And I was like, cool.
spk_0
I'm just like consistency.
spk_0
We'll see exactly.
spk_0
And you, uh, and I was like, I didn't know your name until right.
spk_0
And she was like, yep, I know.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
And then like, let me, I had to Sam cook.
spk_0
Shout out to Sam Cook.
spk_0
Like all of them.
spk_0
Mickey woke up, Vicky woke up in a hotel in Times Square.
spk_0
Oh, worse way worse.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Also like we have an all woke up in a hotel in Times Square.
spk_0
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I know that I'm trying, like I'm kind of speaking for myself,
spk_0
but I'm speaking for everyone here.
spk_0
It's happened.
spk_0
Obviously whoever you've been, um,
spk_0
cuddling with the night before was from out of town.
spk_0
And that's how it goes.
spk_0
I must have only been with local people.
spk_0
Cause yeah, come to you.
spk_0
You're a fucking town.
spk_0
Anyone educated or from out of town?
spk_0
I'm done.
spk_0
You got to look outside of like a three block radius and also like
spk_0
friends, you know,
spk_0
I'm sorry to derail this about.
spk_0
But she does not ever date.
spk_0
She does not ever like, she doesn't go on app.
spk_0
She doesn't associate with people that either aren't either like not from
spk_0
Queens or a friend of a friend.
spk_0
Let's not call it not associated with.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Do you want to date someone on your block that you just run into?
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I have been to run in come does like a bodega pickup artist.
spk_0
Like that's how she, that's how she acquires.
spk_0
She's like,
spk_0
I'm like extra lettuce too.
spk_0
Uh-huh.
spk_0
You know, I heard that on Wednesday is you can get a dollar soda with the
spk_0
Sam went Wednesday.
spk_0
So my takeout day.
spk_0
So I met this guy at the bagel store, Larry Florman.
spk_0
He's got nice hair.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
It is funny because it's true.
spk_0
I'm the wait, is that his real name?
spk_0
Are we real?
spk_0
Like this is the naming name.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
They're giving real names.
spk_0
Hamdo was Hamdo was in love with a friend of ours whose stage name is
spk_0
brother love and has now married and their friends.
spk_0
I also, I also know brother.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
But can we just say I was 14.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
My neighbor.
spk_0
He was 18 and I would go and visit just to like looking in because I'm 14.
spk_0
But he had his own life.
spk_0
Then 10 years later, we meet at the first podcast convention.
spk_0
We never stayed at the, he didn't know who I was.
spk_0
I was some kid in the neighborhood.
spk_0
And I'm like, oh, I, you look like someone.
spk_0
I think I know you.
spk_0
He tried to play it off like we didn't know each other, which I called him out on.
spk_0
And you like, I love you.
spk_0
And we became very, very cool.
spk_0
Oh my God.
spk_0
Does he know that?
spk_0
Does he?
spk_0
Is he also cool back or is it just you?
spk_0
I don't know.
spk_0
Ask him.
spk_0
Where's your current, where's your current boyfriend from?
spk_0
Come to what borough?
spk_0
And how did you say?
spk_0
Born and raised where?
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Sure.
spk_0
And you, and you met him through what podcasting?
spk_0
So he was already in your existing.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
We had been.
spk_0
You know what?
spk_0
Maybe, maybe she's just making use of what she's got.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I mean, she's like a farm to table kind of.
spk_0
Exactly.
spk_0
To table.
spk_0
I like to say I'm more of a snout to tale kind of data.
spk_0
That's what I am.
spk_0
It's just pigs, pigs, pigs.
spk_0
Why am I also I'm a snout to tale.
spk_0
Yeah, I that's fine.
spk_0
I think we can call them in.
spk_0
We can call men pigs.
spk_0
Yeah, I'm more of a warehouse to toilet bowl kind of data.
spk_0
Absolutely.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Well, it's funny that you mentioned NYU dorm.
spk_0
So I was so, so drunk.
spk_0
The drunkest I've ever been in my life, which is an incredible statement
spk_0
considering the things that I've done at the Bowery Electric.
spk_0
I don't know if you guys remember the Bowery Electric.
spk_0
Wonderful shows.
spk_0
I used to hang out with musicians all the time.
spk_0
The Bowery Electric has a downstairs and the stairs are very steep.
spk_0
I don't know what business I can.
spk_0
I can, you know, it's so funny.
spk_0
It's like I can picture this.
spk_0
I can smell it.
spk_0
I like I've been at the Bowery Electric so many times that like this is like
spk_0
I'm there right now with a sense memory.
spk_0
It's like the stairs are on the left side.
spk_0
The bar is right under the stairs.
spk_0
You're coming around like I know every like I feel
spk_0
this.
spk_0
It's really like if you haven't blacked out of the Bowery Electric,
spk_0
you haven't had a good time in New York City.
spk_0
So I was like in love with this musician.
spk_0
He didn't love me back.
spk_0
Bawabaw I followed him around one night.
spk_0
I went to one of his shows.
spk_0
He blew me off.
spk_0
I cried.
spk_0
I got black out drunk.
spk_0
I fell down the stairs at the Bowery Electric.
spk_0
Some wonderful man who went to NYU picked me up like a baby and carried me
spk_0
back up the stairs and he was trying to point out that she's 11.
spk_0
And I'm wearing spiky heels, big collar, you know, the makeups everywhere.
spk_0
It's a fucking hot mess.
spk_0
And he tries to get me in a car.
spk_0
Again, we're talking about this like this was cabs time.
spk_0
This is not Uber.
spk_0
No Uber.
spk_0
This is like you're putting this woman in a car.
spk_0
And he was like he told me the next day he was like he put me in the back.
spk_0
And the guy was like where are you going?
spk_0
And I'm like, Baka brochem bitch.
spk_0
And the guy was like, I can't like I can't put this woman.
spk_0
She just said Brooklyn bitch to a cab driver.
spk_0
She's not going to be able to pay or say where she is like morally.
spk_0
This is so wrong.
spk_0
So he gets he calls me out of the cab.
spk_0
He takes me to the NYU dorm.
spk_0
I think palladium actually, if you guys remember, palladium was like the nicest
spk_0
fucking one.
spk_0
And it above the Trader Joe's cabby.
spk_0
Yes, I also woke up above the Trader Joe's.
spk_0
But you were just in the stock room with Tiffany.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I blank it.
spk_0
Sam Cook never existed.
spk_0
It was Tiffany.
spk_0
And I fell asleep on his floor.
spk_0
And I remember the next morning, you know, when you're not sure if you fucked someone.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
So I go to the bathroom and I had a tampon in and the tampon was still in.
spk_0
And I remember feeling the string and being like,
spk_0
yeah, he didn't.
spk_0
He didn't on cork you.
spk_0
I didn't get sexually assaulted.
spk_0
Should we always go out with a tampon in?
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Brilliant.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Am I right?
spk_0
Hold on.
spk_0
Is this a prototype?
spk_0
This is brilliant.
spk_0
Is this a pork?
spk_0
Is this a vagina pork?
spk_0
Can we call it like nature?
spk_0
They should all be red.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Like start red.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Like, like fake blood.
spk_0
So wait, do we take a tampon?
spk_0
Dip it in fake blood, put it inside.
spk_0
And that is like you should make, I think you should make something specific that you can.
spk_0
Gwyneth Paltrow will sell it.
spk_0
She definitely will.
spk_0
And it will have her sense on it.
spk_0
I'm just trying to think like vagina plug.
spk_0
Like there has to be something catchy.
spk_0
Are guys, we're in a writing room right now.
spk_0
Come on.
spk_0
I love this.
spk_0
Let's bring storm this.
spk_0
We can call it goop to goop.
spk_0
Oh, God, Hamza.
spk_0
You're out of this writers.
spk_0
Goop to goop.
spk_0
No, goop to Queens.
spk_0
Hamza.
spk_0
No.
spk_0
Goop to goop.
spk_0
Pussy plug.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Or like fake tampon or protection tampon or protect.
spk_0
spk_0
spk_0
spk_0
And label or label or come this back.
spk_0
You're back.
spk_0
You made your way back.
spk_0
It's like when you have a twist off like that.
spk_0
You know the wine that twists off, but it breaks when you twist it off.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
The seal, yes, right?
spk_0
Like if this seal is broken.
spk_0
Exactly.
spk_0
Do not.
spk_0
spk_0
Oh, yeah.
spk_0
Like if you're robbing a bank and they put the die thing in the bag so that would be.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
I'm kind of technology like that if they pull it out, it sprays red.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
But you know why we can't do that.
spk_0
You know why we can't do this because I have done this.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
So sometimes when I'm like, I'm not going to fuck tonight.
spk_0
Oh, wear net.
spk_0
And I don't do this anymore.
spk_0
I know myself enough to be like, you're going to fuck you know you are.
spk_0
But I used to be like, I'm not my pussy is going to be a mess.
spk_0
I'm going to wear gross underpants.
spk_0
I'm like not like I'm going to put out these preventive.
spk_0
And that's the night you seal the deal.
spk_0
Oh, yeah.
spk_0
I'm going to put an angel be right in my vagina horn.
spk_0
And I'm going to keep it there.
spk_0
Here's it doesn't stop you.
spk_0
They don't care.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
They don't care.
spk_0
I used to not shave my legs.
spk_0
And I remember going home with this guy and I was like, no, no, I didn't shave my legs.
spk_0
No, no.
spk_0
And I remember he was like, ooh, I love your leg hair.
spk_0
And he was like, robbing his hands up.
spk_0
And I was like, you have no standards.
spk_0
Like literally men have no standards.
spk_0
Oh, I'm queer.
spk_0
I have not slept with this man in like years and years.
spk_0
And I was like right now.
spk_0
Thank you so much.
spk_0
Yeah, right.
spk_0
And like right and like right now it's like my oven shaved my legs.
spk_0
I don't shave my armpits.
spk_0
It's whatever I could go outside and I could get a boyfriend in five minutes.
spk_0
I know.
spk_0
I know.
spk_0
It's so funny when you learn that.
spk_0
It's so funny.
spk_0
It doesn't work.
spk_0
We really don't.
spk_0
I thought they cared so much.
spk_0
I have a week care.
spk_0
We're told we're told to care.
spk_0
We're told to listen.
spk_0
There's like, every one of you team who says we're talking about
spk_0
spk_0
spk_0
spk_0
spk_0
spk_0
Don't you know, you and you are playing If you're not Wednesday.
spk_0
spk_0
Hey, you, Chris, this is legendary.
spk_0
I'm not gonna do a lot of personal stuff.
spk_0
It's not like you're making matters fun.
spk_0
You know, you are not gonna be lying.
spk_0
You cannot find And not like, you don't deserve this она.
spk_0
By the way, the bio skill itself.
spk_0
spk_0
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, you just go to a bodega and be like, hey, I don't know Larry. It's fine
spk_0
Even the good ones aren't fantastic. Yeah, these are the facts. I drink orange juice to go visit like I'm like
spk_0
I'll take one orange juice. What the fuck?
spk_0
Sweet, that's romantic. He worked there. He just stood in the
spk_0
He was he was 18 and I was 14
spk_0
Wait, so he was at a bodega and then you guys got to meet up. He's so successful. You were meeting up at the podcasting
spk_0
Convention. We bumped into each other. They both became podcasts. He was podcasting his music at the time. So he's a musician. He's a drummer his wife also a drummer
spk_0
Brother love. I blew him in a bathroom at auto-shrunk in head. Maybe
spk_0
All connected. Full circle baby. I
spk_0
Have to go. I'm so sorry. I
spk_0
Was too much for my brain my lady brain
spk_0
Okay
spk_0
Hamd are you mad at Andrea?
spk_0
Oh, blowing Larry Florman. Oh, no, I don't know. He mad at you. No, you should
spk_0
Be wifey about talking about this on a pop. Uh-huh. This was actually no, let's see Larry Florman had not yet met his wife and it was
spk_0
Well, one of Hamd's Keith and the girl events and I was the intern that was making out with everybody including Hamd's brother. What's up?
spk_0
And this is like a real name name
spk_0
I love this is like a like a HR meeting from hell
spk_0
Larry Florman great hair
spk_0
Yeah, and I have to you and Larry Florman could be brother in oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you were just in love with yourself. I'm an Eagle me
spk_0
I would never describe you as such but
spk_0
That's the least that's the least now, but we do look. I've seen pictures if we're in a picture together
spk_0
It's like okay, you have not just one parent. It's the same both your parents
spk_0
I thought that you were showing us a picture of Hamd's brother. Yeah, well, I'm not because I'm showing you a picture of the man that she was
spk_0
Wildly in love with and that looks exactly like her and who I later blew
spk_0
I'm just trying to get good and
spk_0
Everyone can remain friends because you know, oh
spk_0
Doesn't matter doesn't matter
spk_0
Friendships over people who blew my brother. I mean I can't yeah, can't do that math. It's not good. Yeah
spk_0
It was it was it was a simple time. I totally get it. Yeah, the Khalilie charm is real. What am I supposed to do?
spk_0
That's so squeaky guys. This is heartwarming. Oh, I know it's something. It's definitely I feel burning
spk_0
I definitely feel burning. It's it's not in my heart. It's in my brain, but yes
spk_0
Tracy this is before you came on the scene
spk_0
I know I mean this is this is young Andrea
spk_0
I'm the key right because Andrea would never blow a guy in a bathroom now. I
spk_0
Times of change because bars are closed. That is the only I don't know what I did
spk_0
I had I had sex on my rooftop. Sorry our rooftop
spk_0
If we the few weeks ago, so I've I remain I remain the same
spk_0
incredibly New York, isn't it? Thank you
spk_0
And I was looking down at my bodega. Well, I was holding onto the fire escape getting fucking real like I'm gonna hide my eggs tomorrow
spk_0
What salad am I gonna get?
spk_0
All the questions on this box. What am I gonna douse my salad?
spk_0
To make it worth my while
spk_0
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hey man. I'll take one salad 400 cups of ranch
spk_0
If you could accumulate it enough information to see if Gabby should stay here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what do we think?
spk_0
I'm gonna go back if LA I mean you have to
spk_0
Okay, Gabby here's the thing how much is a salad in LA? Let's be real 45 dollars 45 dollars. Yeah, okay
spk_0
Just for the lettuce. Yeah, is there too? Morick on it somehow?
spk_0
The lettuce is is
spk_0
There's super foods. I'm from I'm from the South. I'm from like redneckville and my friend. Where are you from exactly? I've
spk_0
All around but Holly would be each mostly which is down by four lotter down and I spend a lot of time in Clayton County, Georgia
spk_0
So kind of like Florida, Georgia line type stuff like back and forth and
spk_0
And I was talking to a couple friends mine who live in New Orleans and I went to go visit them and they're all we were out to like lunch
spk_0
And I asked the what I got coffee and I asked the waiter like do you guys have any non dairy milk?
spk_0
And she was just like no and walked away
spk_0
She's like milk is dairy. That's why yeah, okay literally dairy my friends in the South
spk_0
Like this is my impression of you since you moved to LA. Oh, I needed to take an Uber ex to the nut milk
spk_0
That's not what I sound like and I'm like this is me. I'm Gabby. I'm from LA. I have to order my Uber ex to give my nut milk
spk_0
I'm like I hate you guys
spk_0
I hate you. I can totally understand that because I was in Columbia, South Carolina at the waffle house asking for an
spk_0
white omelette
spk_0
with tomato
spk_0
dumb bitch
spk_0
Literally the same reaction the waitress had right and they were like we don't have those kind of eggs and
spk_0
I just for gluten free waffle
spk_0
Right exactly
spk_0
For a very long time
spk_0
Yeah, no waffle house cares about
spk_0
They were like we don't have those kind of eggs and I was like no no no
spk_0
It's like the other part of the egg that's not yellow and she's like all our eggs come with yellow in them
spk_0
I was like all right
spk_0
Never mind. I guess and this is why people hate the coastal elite, but you know what sorry you aren't us. I'm mad
spk_0
No, I I have a lot of I mean, I'm recording this on election day
spk_0
So I say I have a lot of affinity for the South, but we'll see if that remains the same thing
spk_0
This is well, we all right by the time this is coming out. This is 2020. It's so much better already than 2020
spk_0
This is
spk_0
We're just gonna stay in 2020 just loop ground. Okay. Yeah, 2020 is more of a feeling than a year. Yeah, totally like okay
spk_0
You ever like it's a vibe like okay
spk_0
Yeah, you ever like fall down and cut your face and then it gets infected
spk_0
Yeah, like 2020
spk_0
2020 is a manhole that we all sunk into in New York City
spk_0
Yeah, just like
spk_0
When you open the mouth right has 2020 no should I move back to New York?
spk_0
Hide in egg in LA. No, no, I've hidden no eggs in that way everything. That's what happens in LA
spk_0
So I think that you need to move on listen LA is great. It is a vacation spot. It's somewhere where you have
spk_0
You know, yeah, sure, it's a vacation spot. You can't live somewhere where there are no seasons
spk_0
Like I feel like there's a certain kind of person that lives somewhere where it's always mild and it's not like a
spk_0
See
spk_0
I will
spk_0
Has it and has it ended like six months. Yeah, like this is not good. That's why it's on fire
spk_0
It's not okay come back to New York where we're also on fire
spk_0
Yeah, in a different way when I'm emotional. I have a question about LA
spk_0
And in COVID and just in general so it's like my friends obviously everyone's worried
spk_0
I know today is the election day civil unrest like
spk_0
And fucked up shit has been happening. Yeah, what happens in the future?
spk_0
Tell me the truth, you know, New York's been getting dodgy or someone flashed me a few weeks ago
spk_0
Like the shit's getting you know kind of real
spk_0
Yeah, also like listen, I understand and I'm not trying to like downplay your flashing. Sure sure
spk_0
Please, but also like a lot of stavings and shootings. Yeah, sure. Yeah, you know, definitely definitely
spk_0
LA has had never had any crime
spk_0
Yeah, that's what I'm wondering though because I feel like LA the divide that I get from LA people are like
spk_0
We're boarding up windows. We're getting guns. Just doing that here, too. Yeah, we're doing that again
spk_0
Are we? Well by now by the time this podcast airs everything is fine
spk_0
Don't see if this episode comes out who knows? Yeah, I think by now we just enjoy the the warmth of the fire because we learned
spk_0
Had a namaste. We got some marshmallows gluten free marshmallows
spk_0
Yes, and dark chocolate. Oh, I think we should post Larry Floreman's picture in our Facebook. Yes, Larry Flore
spk_0
Larry, I think he'd appreciate it get his album his new band is called them vibes
spk_0
And they have a vibe. It's really nice. He and his wife lovely people. They live in Nashville now
spk_0
She's a drummer for Stephen Tyler. So no
spk_0
Cool. Yeah, and if she gets to fuck him then he gets to fuck what he calls three regulars
spk_0
Anyway, more of that on my other podcast Keith and the girl
spk_0
Where can people find you?
spk_0
People can find me at Gabby done on Twitter at Gabby Road on Instagram and then you should get
spk_0
I had a book come out called Bad with Money. I also have a podcast called Bad with Money and
spk_0
It's all great tips like the ones I gave it up top in this podcast
spk_0
And then I had a show come out an audible original called a poplips untreated
spk_0
Which you can go listen to and if you do please leave a review they really care about that
spk_0
Nice
spk_0
Gabby so do you
spk_0
No absolutely guys please please leave Gabby a great review on her show and Gabby
spk_0
I don't know if um it's a big deal, but my credit score as of today is 829. Oh my god
spk_0
It's the only thing I have in my life
spk_0
As I sit in the middle of a burning pile of shit
spk_0
I can find more fire
spk_0
You got three you
spk_0
I'm going to die with a great credit score. So that's what matters
spk_0
The total of the matters
spk_0
That's what's important. Yeah, yeah
spk_0
You could follow me at tricksy twosini on Instagram and Twitter
spk_0
You can go to tracycornazo.com
spk_0
For everything that's going on with me
spk_0
And you can listen to my other podcast 90 day fiance trash talk and my other one team mom trash talk
spk_0
And we do have holographic stickers for sale. They're four dollars each you could venmo me
spk_0
At tracy dash carnazo. Let me know you want only in New York sticker and it's four dollars send me your address
spk_0
And I'll ship it right out. It's amazing also big announcement for the podcast today
spk_0
Unfortunately, this will be our last episode of only in New York. We absolutely loved um just you know
spk_0
Doing all of these episodes for you guys and we loved interacting with everyone in the Facebook group
spk_0
We'll still be in the Facebook group. So make sure you join only in New York
spk_0
Podcasts on Facebook and still give us a five star rating in an amazing review and tell people about us
spk_0
We have 54 episodes of this podcast. We did it for a whole year for you guys
spk_0
It was just a limited time podcast, but check out our other projects. How's it? What do you have going on?
spk_0
I have the Keith and the girl show everybody here has been on that show
spk_0
So go to Keith and the girl calm or Keith and the girl on any podcast platform
spk_0
It's been quite a ride with everybody you could see all these women growing up
spk_0
Yeah, my first appearance as an intern
spk_0
Cute Andrea, what's going on over there? You can follow my fucking journey at Andrea comedy 69 on Instagram follow me there
spk_0
I'm manically posting bullshit all over the place and check out my other podcast the hot mess comedy hour
spk_0
We love you there. We love a hot mess so hard
spk_0
And yes, of course go to only in yorkpod.com support us, you know, just
spk_0
Just put it on the stuff do the stuff. Yeah balls sauce