Technology
Bald Eagle, but With Karen Hair — With Michelle Hy
In this episode of 'Polyamitra,' hosts Daniel, Nicole, and Laurel dive into the complexities of emotions and relationship styles, exploring the nuances of anger and communication in polyamor...
Bald Eagle, but With Karen Hair — With Michelle Hy
Technology •
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Interactive Transcript
spk_0
I have Smash Mouth second my head and I'm real mad about it.
spk_0
All star?
spk_0
Not all star.
spk_0
The one that's like, I can't get enough of you baby.
spk_0
Anyways, I'm just saying that I'm mad.
spk_0
I don't think that really explains why you're mad.
spk_0
I think that you know, you're just mad.
spk_0
Just in general?
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah, that's true.
spk_0
I can't mad just in general.
spk_0
The whole rhetoric about like, oh, you got to get in touch with your feelings and
spk_0
feel your feelings and like don't intellectualize your feelings.
spk_0
I think I've like taken it too seriously to the extent where like, I'm like, well, am I
spk_0
having feelings that I'm repressing or intellectualizing into something else?
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Don't know Daniel.
spk_0
Now I'm mad.
spk_0
I'm mad.
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And you know that you're mad.
spk_0
You've identified that you're mad.
spk_0
Good job me.
spk_0
Done and done.
spk_0
Laurel, you're a pressure cooker.
spk_0
Like, you get mad and the lid goes on tight, right?
spk_0
Is that what pressure cookers do?
spk_0
Yeah, and then it just starts shaking after a while and then there's like a little hole
spk_0
in the top.
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And all the steam is fizzy and out of it.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Sure.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Nicole, you're a straight up kettle with a nice shriek.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
My entire purpose is just to boil water and let you know that water is boiling.
spk_0
I'm a pizza oven.
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Just kind of a constant low grade flame, but you don't really notice it because it's
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just always there in the backyard.
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Yeah.
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Only use for special occasions.
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And it points at you.
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That's what you do when you get angry.
spk_0
You point.
spk_0
Yeah, it's visually apparent.
spk_0
Yeah.
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Okay.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Pressure cooker is not visually apparent.
spk_0
I think a pressure cooker is visually and audibly apparent.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
T kettle is just audible.
spk_0
It's mostly audible.
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Yeah.
spk_0
I love how much you're analyzing my half ass metaphors.
spk_0
I just want to go back to what Laurel was saying and make sure that she's okay.
spk_0
I'm fine.
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I think.
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I don't know who knows.
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I'm not sure if it's a problem or not.
spk_0
I don't think that's a problem.
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Like my therapist hasn't said it's a problem.
spk_0
But Daniel thinks it's a problem.
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Apparently.
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Just by the look he's given.
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By the way, he's pointing at me from across the table.
spk_0
That's a hard question to answer.
spk_0
So, you know, now I feel like we should just dedicate the rest of this episode to psychoanalyzing
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Laurel.
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I can often tell you're mad before you know your man.
spk_0
Oh, let me rephrase that.
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I can tell you're mad before you'll say you that you're mad.
spk_0
Yeah.
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Okay.
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And I'll be like, are you mad?
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And you'll be like, no, I'll be like, are you sure you'll be like, no.
spk_0
Well, you're making me angry by out of it.
spk_0
spk_0
spk_0
Oh, welcome to polyamitra, I'm Daniel.
spk_0
I'm Nicole and I'm Laurel.
spk_0
I'm not as angry as we seem.
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I don't know.
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Except for Nicole.
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We had an entire episode dedicated to me being angry.
spk_0
So maybe we should each have one.
spk_0
Everyone gets the angry femur and we just we just pass it around.
spk_0
I think it's the femur of anger.
spk_0
Femur of anger.
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Yeah.
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It's the conch shell in our Lord of the Flies.
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Like a bone to pick special.
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It's just bones from end to end.
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We talk a lot about bones on this show.
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It's true, but we've given up with the double entendres.
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We used to go so hard, so to speak.
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And now these days we let it go right by.
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It's implied.
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True stewards know.
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True stewards know the looks that I'm giving.
spk_0
Yeah.
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If you know the look Daniel's giving, take a selfie of it.
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Send it into us.
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The speed of sending things into us.
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I am so impressed at like how many responses we got about polyamorous.
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Birds.
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Yes.
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And really like responses in general.
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Yes.
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Like love seeing the inbox light up.
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Stubards.
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If you have things to send to us, be they bones to pick.
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This bone.
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Be they pit by ops.
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It's poly in public.
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Invention of privacy.
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Be they you're coming across a polyamorous bird.
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To can Sam.
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I see flavors of fruit.
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We crew need to go to me.
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Need us to your food a full treasure.
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My pleasure.
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You can send those things to us at polyameterhouratgmail.com.
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You can go to our website and submit things anonymously.
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That includes questions.
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So we definitely need questions at polyameterhour.com.
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Or you can DM us on Instagram at polyameterhour.
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Or blue sky.
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Fuck me.
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I always forget blue sky.
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What are you fucking alt right?
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I'm just obsessed with blue sky now one because of our
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Stubbert who added the baseline to our music.
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And open pike night.
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And a couple porn stars.
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I just like message with them all day.
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I'm blue sky.
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Nice.
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And I love it.
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God, that's so great.
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Bring them into the fold.
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Bring them in the fold.
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It's just like a strange smattering of star trek and pornography.
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I'm just shocked that the nerve that we finally needed to hit in order to just unlock this
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deluge of messages is animal facts.
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Yeah.
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We should have known honestly.
spk_0
We should have known.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
spk_0
This is going to be a very poly bird heavy episode in general.
spk_0
We'll get to that.
spk_0
Hold your horses.
spk_0
Animal reference.
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But I'd like to widen the aperture since this is a variety show.
spk_0
Right.
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And I provide a lot of music.
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And some of our favorite Stubbert's provide music.
spk_0
I would like to request that Stubbert's who may have poly songs very tangentially related to polyamory send in some music.
spk_0
Oh, like their original music.
spk_0
Exactly.
spk_0
I like that.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I want performers.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I want somebody to take some of the weight off of me in the jingle factory in the fucking the unpaid labor jingle factory.
spk_0
You should see where we put Daniel to write these jingles.
spk_0
It's not nice.
spk_0
It is a factory floor.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Daniel, do you want to go in the jingle box again retroactively?
spk_0
This has been a polypairman's game.
spk_0
Well, also speaking of submissions.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Don't we have a listener bone to pick?
spk_0
Oh, we do have.
spk_0
Oh, yes, we have a listener bone to pick.
spk_0
Bones.
spk_0
This bone.
spk_0
Well, it's broke and this bone.
spk_0
I got to pick with you.
spk_0
I don't need you to say you're sorry.
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I just need you to fix this poly shit you do.
spk_0
This poly shit you do.
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I have a bone to pick.
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I fucking hate it when I'm on a dating app.
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And someone puts in their cutesy little free space.
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Poly and tell.
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I find the right one.
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I fucking hate that.
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And that is an automatic swipe no left, whatever.
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Screw you.
spk_0
There's a difference between somebody who is intentionally being poly.
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And then intentionally you are dating multiple people.
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But your goal is to be monogamous someday.
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So people who say this, stop it, stop it.
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And I will say this too, I've been on two dates with one super cute guy.
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And one of the things we agree on is that yes, there's a difference between being poly and dating a lot of people with your intentions to be monogamous in the end.
spk_0
So he got a second date.
spk_0
So yeah, I still like him two dates in.
spk_0
And yeah, I'm curious.
spk_0
But you've talked about new relationship energy.
spk_0
I wouldn't call it that.
spk_0
I'm not at that.
spk_0
No, I'm not.
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There's no relationship.
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There's two dates.
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It's it.
spk_0
This ranks on the same level for me as the people who tell me they have experience with polyamory when they really just dated around for a little while.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I don't think you know.
spk_0
I mean, to be honest, I think I might actually prefer someone outright saying I'm poly until I find a monogamous relationship that I want to get into.
spk_0
I know that that's not the same.
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But at least they're like saying it.
spk_0
There's a ton of people who are just representing like their poly or non monogamous and are still looking for it.
spk_0
I'd rather not have the surprise, the surprise monogs.
spk_0
Yeah, I get not wanting to have the surprise.
spk_0
But I think it's the co-opting of the word polyamory.
spk_0
Yeah.
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To describe what it is that you're doing.
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You're just dating.
spk_0
Yeah.
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You're just dating.
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Yeah.
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A bunch of people.
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Yeah.
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In order to find the one person that you want to be with.
spk_0
Am I wrong but my like assumption in that scenario, like when you say I'm polyamorous until I find the one is like, I'm poly until I fall in love.
spk_0
I think that it's like, I'm poly until proven otherwise.
spk_0
I think the intention is I'm only going to fall in love with one person.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Which then is definitely not poly.
spk_0
No.
spk_0
No.
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If you're like, I'm non monogamous until I find the one.
spk_0
But that's just like implied in our dating culture already.
spk_0
It is.
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And I haven't come across anybody who is claimed like poly until proven otherwise.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
I thought you meant for a minute, anybody who's claimed like as a piece of property.
spk_0
I've got the collar and submissive.
spk_0
It just seems arbitrary and dumb.
spk_0
Also like there are all of these weird unspoken rules in the monogamous dating around space.
spk_0
Where it is like the baseline is sort of don't ask, don't tell.
spk_0
Yep.
spk_0
Exactly.
spk_0
That's what I'm saying.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
It's confusing because it's not like capital E or I should say capital U on ethical.
spk_0
Because like there's some implied understanding that that could be happening.
spk_0
Yeah.
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But like the complete lack of acknowledgement or informed consent around it.
spk_0
Your partner or partners.
spk_0
One definitely would not know about each other.
spk_0
Yeah.
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Two, you would never know how many people that person is sleeping with.
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Yeah.
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Three, you wouldn't know about their sex practices.
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Yeah.
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Like barriers and all that other stuff.
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And four, like you wouldn't know what timelines.
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These people would be on.
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Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
This is why it's so important for me to have somebody state their relationship style up front in a way that's really unequivocal.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
You know, you were talking the other day, Laurel, about how important values are for you and people that you're seeking out.
spk_0
And for me, that declares that you at least in the context of relationships have a set of values.
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And I feel like if you are not forthright about telling me what your values are, then either one, it's because you want to sneak your values into me like our sneak in my food over a long period of time until suddenly I'm anonymous.
spk_0
Or it means that you don't know what your values are and you're just going to go along with whatever anybody wants, which that's dangerous for me emotionally because you're going to meet somebody and then all of the sudden as Nicole would say, discard me.
spk_0
You know, like, I'm also kind of like, well, but that is monogamous dating.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
You know, so I think it just depends on like how the person goes about it.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
But that co-opting of polyamory as a moniker or non monogamy as a moniker, that is the issue here.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
Because you're not necessarily non monogamous and you're for sure not polyamorous.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
They put on their little special polyamorous cap and go out in public.
spk_0
Also, what kind of like a shitty thing to telegraph?
spk_0
Like, I am non monogamous until I find the one.
spk_0
And so like if I'm non monogamous with you, you're just a fuck buddy for now.
spk_0
Like I'm thinking about in the context of like, I've dated monogamous people being a polyamorous person myself knowing that we're just having a good time until they do find someone else.
spk_0
But none of those people have ever been like, I'm polyamorous.
spk_0
Are we having like a straw man argument here?
spk_0
Have any of you encountered a profile that says this?
spk_0
I've actually never encountered a profile that says, I am poly until I find somebody.
spk_0
Usually it's either like, I'm polyamorous or it's like, fuck you, E&M poly people, stay off my fucking lawn.
spk_0
I haven't seen anybody trying to hedge their bets.
spk_0
I have not seen that specifically.
spk_0
I have seen like, I'm open to either like more ambi-amorous.
spk_0
Yes, so there's a term for that, right?
spk_0
So if your values were like well formed in that direction, right?
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
There is a mantle which you can pick up and be like, I am ambi-amorous.
spk_0
Yes, yeah.
spk_0
Shout out to you, Annie, undone.
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I'm just a weird little gay sex demon.
spk_0
Annie Amorous.
spk_0
Annie, poly-annious.
spk_0
P-
spk_0
No, no, no.
spk_0
I mean, she would appreciate that.
spk_0
Because it sounds like Anus.
spk_0
We all appreciate a good Anus.
spk_0
A nice clean one, a well groomed Anus.
spk_0
We don't need to go into details.
spk_0
We don't.
spk_0
Are there any details you'd like to add?
spk_0
Just this completely unannious related.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I really appreciate people just writing into us about their new relationship energy.
spk_0
Polyameter hour is like everyone's sassy queer friend where you can just talk about your relationship with us.
spk_0
No, yeah.
spk_0
It did sound like they were defending like, and I'm not, no, an re.
spk_0
Like we were going to judge them for an re.
spk_0
And I get that.
spk_0
I totally, I totally understand why you would think we would judge you.
spk_0
What?
spk_0
What?
spk_0
People can have an re.
spk_0
It's fine.
spk_0
As long as you just acknowledge that it's a bunch of chemicals that are going on in your brain.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And I feel like we're a big force for good in the world reminding people that NRE is like a holiday experience.
spk_0
You know, you can call for the arch anytime you want.
spk_0
I don't know that you can't.
spk_0
You can ground yourself.
spk_0
Well, it's like a holiday experience.
spk_0
Sometimes you call for the arch.
spk_0
Oh, it's not there.
spk_0
It's still running.
spk_0
The program didn't shut down.
spk_0
We must see the captain there.
spk_0
That is like 90% of the time.
spk_0
And there's a big gap that is put in our dating apps specifically for this.
spk_0
Now, I've noticed the language changing in hinge.
spk_0
One of the things under relationship style is I'm figuring out my relationship style.
spk_0
I've seen this across the board of just still figuring it out.
spk_0
Don't know unwilling to commit until I have actually seen whether or not I want to give up my existing values in favor of your values.
spk_0
I'm like, is it too harsh to say that they don't have their own values?
spk_0
But it seems like they're just like questioning what they are.
spk_0
I think there's a lot of people who are like, well, that seems nice in theory.
spk_0
But I am skeptical of my ability to do the work in that department.
spk_0
Well, that's very self aware if they think that they're skeptical because I feel like there are a ton of people who are just like,
spk_0
diving in.
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Not even bothering with sex at dawn, just like reading the Wikipedia entry.
spk_0
My knee-jerk reaction when talking about this was like, oh, that's an automatic no.
spk_0
If they're just figuring out their relationship style.
spk_0
I don't know that that's true.
spk_0
There could be something else in the profile or something else that they've shared that's like, okay, well, maybe I want to explore this connection.
spk_0
Do I just rule out everybody that isn't just straight up non-monogamous polyamorous?
spk_0
Well, I've dated a lot of people who were not already experienced in polyamory who are more like poly curious.
spk_0
And we're like, oh, yeah, this sort of philosophically and ethically is cohesive with like the way I think about things.
spk_0
And I was like, okay, yeah, let's like figure it out.
spk_0
Before you tell me you're so fabulous, please listen as I stress, you must be strictly polyamorous, full stop, always unless.
spk_0
You've read my favorite poly book.
spk_0
No?
spk_0
Well, that's all right.
spk_0
Maybe once you dated Charlie Poly, calling for a night.
spk_0
No?
spk_0
Well, maybe you're quite right.
spk_0
And maybe quite eager to learn.
spk_0
And maybe once you had a threesome at a regional burn.
spk_0
Ah, none of the above, son of a bitch.
spk_0
I guess you're not.
spk_0
Someone I should date unless you're really, really hot.
spk_0
Oh, you're really hot.
spk_0
And can't commit and right now free.
spk_0
I guess you're kind of sort of polyish enough for me to fall.
spk_0
I think this is part of the problem with having a fucking podcast and things recorded is that I've absolutely put the line in the sand on this podcast.
spk_0
Like I am never dating somebody who is not.
spk_0
Burst in polyamory.
spk_0
Because I think we talked about before.
spk_0
Like it feels like I would be a manic pixie dream girl guiding them through this like crazy world.
spk_0
Non monogamy.
spk_0
We all fuck each other.
spk_0
We lay down in the street and look at the rain.
spk_0
I mean, that sounds kind of nice.
spk_0
I think that was what was in your profile when we met.
spk_0
And speaking of us, me and Unicle, in general, I have batted very, very poorly when it comes to dating people who did not have experience in non monogamy.
spk_0
Like yes, I too, Laurel have done that.
spk_0
And it has generally not worked out all that well.
spk_0
My one in a hundred.
spk_0
There she sits.
spk_0
Sometimes I totally forget.
spk_0
I think because we've been doing this for so long.
spk_0
And because I can't imagine my life without it now.
spk_0
I always forget that I came to the table, not necessarily.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
No, I was doing.
spk_0
Do you remember when we went out and went shopping for your first polyamory cat?
spk_0
Polyamory hat.
spk_0
The polyamory hat store.
spk_0
Polyamory Haberdashery.
spk_0
For some reason, I'm imagining them kind of little gnome hats.
spk_0
And then you get feathers you can put in them.
spk_0
Or is it like a chef hat with like every time you master how to make an egg a certain way you get another fold?
spk_0
What?
spk_0
That's what chefs have.
spk_0
What?
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Like at the cordon blue, that's like when you master a way of cooking an egg, you get another fold in your chef hat.
spk_0
Is there a cap like what's the like most amount of folds you can get in the hat?
spk_0
I mean, you're physically limited by the hat.
spk_0
Maybe you have a big head.
spk_0
And you can just.
spk_0
And then big head already has an advantage.
spk_0
Big head over there.
spk_0
Big head.
spk_0
They get to get so many more folds in their hat.
spk_0
Speaking of feathers in your cap.
spk_0
Mm-hmm.
spk_0
Ah.
spk_0
Nice.
spk_0
Today, as we have been teasing this entire episode, we're going to be talking about some poly birds.
spk_0
Oh, yeah.
spk_0
Even more exciting than that.
spk_0
We have invited today for our poly bird summit 2025.
spk_0
The great Michelle high, a K.A.
spk_0
Poly amorous wild Asian for her second concert appearance on poly amateur hour.
spk_0
Yay.
spk_0
Michelle is a well known.
spk_0
Berder.
spk_0
Well known.
spk_0
Don't local Berder.
spk_0
Don't put birds in her mouth.
spk_0
Michelle was our very first special guest guest, really willing to just roll the dice.
spk_0
Didn't know how fucking crazy we were going to be.
spk_0
And come right in here into the basement and talk.
spk_0
Shit with us.
spk_0
And now she's come back around.
spk_0
We're starting to get our little like constellation of platonic comets in the particle.
spk_0
If you haven't heard the word.
spk_0
It's the bird.
spk_0
Michelle high flyer.
spk_0
Hi.
spk_0
Is going to.
spk_0
I'm sorry Michelle.
spk_0
Is going to enter the room in just a moment.
spk_0
May we have the drum roll please.
spk_0
How close do we need to be?
spk_0
Like eight inches.
spk_0
A real eight inches or a man's eight inches.
spk_0
Measured from the base.
spk_0
Is there a banana for scale?
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
But then how big is the banana?
spk_0
I always bring a little baby banana for scale.
spk_0
Baby.
spk_0
Like a little plantain.
spk_0
If you seen a little red bananas, they're really sweet.
spk_0
The red?
spk_0
I've seen little bananas, but they're not red.
spk_0
It has a special kind of little red banana.
spk_0
Are you talking about dogs banana?
spk_0
Oh, I thought you were talking about plants.
spk_0
I am.
spk_0
I'm sorry.
spk_0
This has been polyamateraol.
spk_0
I'm going to close up early tonight.
spk_0
All of our orifices shrinking.
spk_0
Did I do it?
spk_0
Did I go too far?
spk_0
Finally.
spk_0
Just bestiality where you guys cross this.
spk_0
Yes, I'm fine.
spk_0
Is that all right?
spk_0
All that makes me sad for this segment.
spk_0
Oh, yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
But what a great segue.
spk_0
So you guys, normally this segment, we would call it a poly and public invasion of
spk_0
Provisay.
spk_0
But I think we have experienced such a enormous outpouring of animal facts that I'm thinking
spk_0
we could have like a polyamorous animal segment.
spk_0
And I am taking recommendations for the name.
spk_0
Oh, I already suggested animal magnetism, but he was like, I can't rhyme that in a song.
spk_0
You don't give a shit.
spk_0
You're just like, Dad, you're getting the fucking jingle box.
spk_0
The jingle box boy is like poly in the wild to obvious.
spk_0
Wild things.
spk_0
And then we just use the name.
spk_0
Royal ever son.
spk_0
No, tone, tone, look.
spk_0
Royal.
spk_0
I'm thinking.
spk_0
Pretty woman wild thing.
spk_0
It's both, it's like an adjective now.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
So those are some ideas.
spk_0
Can you rhyme that with anything?
spk_0
Can you rhyme that?
spk_0
I just feel like you should have taken Nicole's challenge of animal magnetism.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
All right.
spk_0
Now you're saying it on the fucking mic.
spk_0
So I have no choice now.
spk_0
And the more magnetism they don't need as permission, polyverse.
spk_0
For you're more no prison, pride of lions.
spk_0
They pride limit below road ships below road shimming just like us.
spk_0
Stop them.
spk_0
Listen, we're trying to break your man that calls the magnetism as animal.
spk_0
You can use slat rhymes, you know.
spk_0
We rhymed utopian with denobulant and.
spk_0
You rhymed.
spk_0
I'm not taking credit for anything that comes to the music because it is all you baby.
spk_0
Except your beautiful bird-like voice.
spk_0
That's true.
spk_0
That's another segue speaking of birds.
spk_0
All right.
spk_0
So this was just like an offhanded comment that we made, right?
spk_0
But I think Laurel, you just like put out there like, are there any polyamorous birds?
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
So,
spk_0
stupercy answered the call of the wild.
spk_0
It's a call of the wild.
spk_0
That's better.
spk_0
I could rhyme that.
spk_0
And do that one.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Whatever man just pick a title and rhyme with it.
spk_0
Get in your jingle box and just do it.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
We don't care what it is.
spk_0
It doesn't get let out of the jingle box until there's a fucking jingle.
spk_0
It's a quantity thing, not a quality thing.
spk_0
I went from like, it's all you baby.
spk_0
You do such a good job to like, fuck off.
spk_0
Just do it.
spk_0
Right a song already.
spk_0
Anyways.
spk_0
Michelle, the first time we had you on, we watched a art house film really gave it a lot of consideration.
spk_0
We all cried.
spk_0
You know, tears were still shed.
spk_0
I didn't say.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
I was moved by the story.
spk_0
This is radio lab for kids.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
The name of the episode is The Trio.
spk_0
A bald eagle loved the story.
spk_0
And I actually really enjoyed the elements of it that were like, okay, clearly they judged this for children.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
But I was like, I like it.
spk_0
It was very cute.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Very cute.
spk_0
Very digestible.
spk_0
Like the corny little songs in between like, yeah, I really liked it.
spk_0
I really liked it.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
It was great.
spk_0
I was like, this is Daniel's job in another life.
spk_0
I thought the same thing.
spk_0
Like, this was my dream job.
spk_0
Like, I feel like my style is like writing songs for children.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
But I also felt a lot of envy.
spk_0
This is like, this motherfucker, three goal.
spk_0
I'm never going to be able to match three goal.
spk_0
I almost sat in my chair and I said three goal.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I want to hear the eagle.
spk_0
No, I want to hear all three goal.
spk_0
Oh no.
spk_0
So let's give context to three goal.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
So Radio Lab for Kids did an episode about a,
spk_0
a thruple of eagles, a three goal that were discovered in the wild.
spk_0
There was a birder that was, you know, watching these eagles.
spk_0
It looks like there are three bald eagles sitting together near one nest.
spk_0
People didn't always believe Ed when he told them what he was seeing.
spk_0
But then in 2016, this trio of bald eagles happened to flutter down and begin nesting in a tree.
spk_0
That was next to a webcam.
spk_0
So this is also a story of birds learning how to monetize their affair.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
spk_0
We learn later on in this episode, there are actually several other three goals, but these are the only ones who are canning.
spk_0
And what freaked people out, birders and scientists alike, is that male bald eagles to be specific are known to be hyper combative with each other and hyper territorial.
spk_0
And so to see a three, I'm just going to keep calling it a three goal with one female eagle and two male eagles.
spk_0
People are like, what this never happens.
spk_0
What is this?
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And they got really into the lore about eagles from like the patriotic standpoint.
spk_0
Like eagles is a symbol for America because they're like fighters.
spk_0
This glowering bird of prey with an intimidating brow bone razor sharp beak and terrifying talons meant to convey to the world of ferocious fight to the death.
spk_0
Independence.
spk_0
They're really shaken off a lot of those stereotypes.
spk_0
Well, they're also like simultaneously through the episode contrasting that with like the Native American perspective.
spk_0
The eagle to us is very sacred.
spk_0
It's the highest in the sky.
spk_0
It's the closest to creator.
spk_0
It was seen as a messenger between worlds and a healer.
spk_0
Are eagles now because there are several eagle thruples out there?
spk_0
Could it now become a symbol of polyamory?
spk_0
You know what's so funny is in one of our recent episodes we're talking about the bad eagle tattoo.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And I was like, how do I need an eagle tattoo now?
spk_0
A three goal tattoo?
spk_0
Yeah, three goal tattoo.
spk_0
It's just like three eagles.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
And like they're all holding out like a tattoo style banner in their beaks and it just says polyamory.
spk_0
Michelle, all of your tattoos are from under the sea.
spk_0
And we're bringing you on to talk about creatures of the sky.
spk_0
The sky.
spk_0
Yes, the sky.
spk_0
Arch nemesis.
spk_0
I do find it funny that like, God, it's like in our political climate, like listening to this episode, I was like, God, I can only imagine like, oh radio lab, the woke, like the woke queer polyamory agenda for kids.
spk_0
They're trying to indoctrinate our children into this this three goal propaganda.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I had the same thought I was like, this is the type of propaganda that I'm going to really miss.
spk_0
Right?
spk_0
Like with the collapse of public radio that seems imminent now, how are we going to indoctrinate our children into a life of well by our current legal system crime?
spk_0
Support public radio.
spk_0
Please.
spk_0
I really enjoyed throughout this like they are continually approaching it from like a scientific perspective and like scientific observation of this situation.
spk_0
And then realizing like once there is like societal emotional investment in this three goal situation and it becomes like somewhat normalized.
spk_0
They start realizing that it's not actually an isolated incident.
spk_0
spk_0
And start seeing it appear elsewhere.
spk_0
Huh.
spk_0
Yeah, right?
spk_0
Huh.
spk_0
Interesting.
spk_0
spk_0
spk_0
That's why my tattoo says start seeing three goals.
spk_0
So it starts off pretty heartwarming and you've got all these people helping to narrate it who I wondered about what their viewpoints would be about queer humans and polyhumans because some of them sounded like they maybe they were from the south like there was some rural birders who he spoke to.
spk_0
The rural bird.
spk_0
Turn the birds were lurid.
spk_0
But they are all like really invested as you said all of the sudden like they're feeling feels about these birds.
spk_0
It is now early spring in Illinois and up about a hundred feet in a nest.
spk_0
Three bald eagle parents have just welcomed three baby eagles.
spk_0
You know, they were so tiny.
spk_0
Oh my, and so adorable.
spk_0
Yes indeed.
spk_0
These three parents caring for their babies all six of the birds nuzzling down in the nest at night.
spk_0
They were the happiest family.
spk_0
And then it suddenly turns pretty dark this story.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Because two territorial, stranger, mononormative, homophobic, eagles show up and like start attacking the mother eagle in this nest.
spk_0
And her babies.
spk_0
The very large bird which we believed to be a female was on the back of hope.
spk_0
Her talents were digging into hope shoulders.
spk_0
I was imagining this other eagle as like a total caring eagle.
spk_0
It's like that what's her name?
spk_0
Kate from John and Kate plus eight like that.
spk_0
You're cut on his mouth.
spk_0
Oh my god.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Oh my god.
spk_0
So not all bald eagles are so tolerant, I guess.
spk_0
Although they just wanted to take the polycule's house.
spk_0
Really the nest.
spk_0
They just wanted that nest.
spk_0
The other mother bird starts attacking our poly mother bird.
spk_0
They fall in a tussle out of the nest.
spk_0
And one of our dad birds is like fighting off this other dad bird.
spk_0
And like long story short, maybe this is just because it was for kids.
spk_0
They said hope was never seen again.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
I was like, I was like upset about that.
spk_0
I was like, this is for children.
spk_0
Oh yeah.
spk_0
How could you make me feel like this when this is for children?
spk_0
Have you have you seen up?
spk_0
I know.
spk_0
Any Disney movie like the mom and or the dad like has to die.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
So the daddy eagles stay together and another mommy eagle.
spk_0
Mommy eagle.
spk_0
Another female eagle.
spk_0
Is this poly amateur hour for kids now?
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
The daddy, the male eagles are all daddy eagles.
spk_0
They're not father eagles.
spk_0
They're daddy's.
spk_0
They're not step-dads.
spk_0
They're dads who step that.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
But the female eagles, eagles are mother eagles.
spk_0
Mother eagles.
spk_0
So another mother eagle shows up and links up with these two daddy eagles.
spk_0
And they start raising eagles together.
spk_0
And you would think that, I mean, there was no scientific like theory as to why there was this.
spk_0
Three goal.
spk_0
Um, but it was very obvious that, you know, the daddy eagles were just like, okay, well, more in the loss.
spk_0
And now we call them date again.
spk_0
On the bird apps.
spk_0
Now, now first though, before they found a replacement, they stayed behind and raised her children together.
spk_0
The dads kept watch over their chicks, bringing them food and keeping them warm at night until finally come June.
spk_0
The two chicks ended up growing and leaving the nest.
spk_0
It was extremely happy.
spk_0
Yes, indeed.
spk_0
We gave them the greatest dads a word of the year.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
This showed us that this was not just a V-shaped connection.
spk_0
It was an actual triangle.
spk_0
It was an actual triangle.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And they cooperated to raise these eagles until they learned to fly.
spk_0
And it was, so it was, they finished the season just the two of them.
spk_0
And it was like the next season they came back with the new mother eagle.
spk_0
Yeah, that's so wild.
spk_0
I was like tearing up with joy.
spk_0
Right.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And what, how many years, they said years, right?
spk_0
They kept going back for years.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Year after year, those three parents stayed together, fludging more and more eagles.
spk_0
And in the process, challenging scientists notions about what a natural family looks like.
spk_0
They were like, we are never going back to monogamy.
spk_0
Fuck this shit.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
spk_0
It's interesting because who knows how well those little baby eagles would have survived if it was just like if the mom had just died.
spk_0
And it was just the male eagle left.
spk_0
spk_0
Like, would he have stayed?
spk_0
I don't know what eagles are like.
spk_0
Well, in our polyamature hour style, we were telling this story in a very nonlinear way.
spk_0
Yes.
spk_0
Before mother eagle found her Zadi eagles.
spk_0
See, hope had been trying to make a family for years before she linked up with the two daddies.
spk_0
And this is a little sad.
spk_0
But she had a hard time.
spk_0
Her baby sometimes got cold or fell out of the nest when she was away hunting.
spk_0
And they didn't always make it.
spk_0
And so it seemed like maybe this was also a practical decision for her is like I need a larger support system.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Monogamy in this economy?
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
They do talk about the eagle population decline.
spk_0
And I don't know if they make any direct statements, but I think there is some like speculation that like part of the
spk_0
resurgence of eagles in America or bald eagles in America might have to do with these like triad relationships.
spk_0
So if governments want to get people to have more children, which we've been seeing, you know, maybe you just need to encourage polyamory.
spk_0
Listen up, JD Vance.
spk_0
We know you're a listener.
spk_0
He just like he's humping a couch and he's like, what?
spk_0
You mean this is not going to result in a birth?
spk_0
He's been, he's been just humping that couch for years and watching for it to get pregnant.
spk_0
Just no go.
spk_0
Well, he just needs another couch and a second.
spk_0
Yeah, a second.
spk_0
A second.
spk_0
Yeah, a second.
spk_0
spk_0
A second.
spk_0
A second.
spk_0
spk_0
spk_0
A second.
spk_0
So I did feel a little bit weird about the idea of just a replacement in a molecule.
spk_0
Like that.
spk_0
Like if I just died, would you two like just go out and find an eagle to replace me?
spk_0
We already have one.
spk_0
We do?
spk_0
What?
spk_0
Yeah, there's just like a big nest out back.
spk_0
Are you going to wait waiting in the waiting in the wing?
spk_0
I mean, I think it's biology though.
spk_0
You know, like they have some eglitz to raise and make.
spk_0
Time to make the eglitz.
spk_0
Always making references to that commercial that hasn't played in 40 years.
spk_0
There was a point where very specifically the host asks the scientist.
spk_0
Would you ever call what what's happening between these birds love?
spk_0
Absolutely.
spk_0
Absolutely.
spk_0
Oh, you would.
spk_0
Oh, absolutely.
spk_0
You would?
spk_0
Yes indeed.
spk_0
You don't shy away from that, but that word between animals.
spk_0
Not necessarily.
spk_0
No, no, it's family bonding and that happens.
spk_0
You know, love is family.
spk_0
The reporter is taken aback by the answer.
spk_0
Like, wait, what?
spk_0
He's like, no, absolutely 100%.
spk_0
They love each other.
spk_0
They told me.
spk_0
You can see it.
spk_0
Michael Jackson.
spk_0
Actually, don't they have like more of a, I don't know, like a pathetic, like a chirping?
spk_0
They like chirp.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Usually the egl sound is like, it's like a hawk.
spk_0
Yes, yeah, they replace it with something in the movies.
spk_0
Do you or a little chirping?
spk_0
spk_0
That's true with monogamous eagles, but polyamorous eagles are much more liberated.
spk_0
Paul.
spk_0
They roar like lions.
spk_0
This was also reminding me that wasn't there like several years ago, a bisexual goose.
spk_0
There's something that was really popular.
spk_0
His name was like Hank or Henry or something.
spk_0
And he would just follow around like for years, years and years, like they would have like little love triangles.
spk_0
I have no idea if the males were involved with each other, but they weren't killing each other in the seagull podcast,
spk_0
which we're not discussing right now.
spk_0
The Steven Seagull podcast.
spk_0
The Steven Seagull podcast.
spk_0
They talk about like the gay swans in the Boston Commons.
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
Now I really want Steven Seagull to have a podcast called Seagull on Seagulls.
spk_0
And it's just him talking about how much he loves seagulls.
spk_0
The seagulls he's met.
spk_0
The seagulls who have eaten his ice cream off of the pier.
spk_0
A lot of people don't know the warm inner life of a seagull.
spk_0
And there's 330 episodes.
spk_0
Did we answer the eagle question?
spk_0
Yes. They do love each other.
spk_0
We didn't answer it.
spk_0
An entire podcast team put together a beautiful episode that we got to enjoy on this podcast.
spk_0
Thank you, Radio Lab, for kids.
spk_0
Everyone could give them money though.
spk_0
It's like real.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Speaking of animals.
spk_0
Humans are animals.
spk_0
I was going to say these are real animals.
spk_0
You know, it's not a real animal.
spk_0
A Pegasus.
spk_0
And a mantacore.
spk_0
And a unicorn.
spk_0
It's time for everybody's favorite, least favorite segment.
spk_0
It's time for unicorn hunter hunters.
spk_0
You and a pun hunter hunters.
spk_0
Do you want to meet their prey?
spk_0
This episode is a very special episode for a few reasons.
spk_0
One, we did our first audience provided bone to pick earlier on.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
And two, we now have our first audience or guest provided unicorn hunter hunter.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Love it.
spk_0
So unicorn hunter hunters is a segment where we take a look at a unicorn hunter profile and then
spk_0
rate it on three categories.
spk_0
One, self-aggrandizement.
spk_0
Two, arbitrary rules.
spk_0
And three, would be unicorn for them.
spk_0
Michelle, what have you brought us today?
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
The other day, I was just on field and received a ping.
spk_0
And this was the ping.
spk_0
And I got to talk to you guys the other day.
spk_0
Like, I just closed the app after that.
spk_0
I'm like, not a good day.
spk_0
Did you try to burn your phone?
spk_0
No.
spk_0
I can't lay out the unicorn hunters win.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
All right.
spk_0
And also, they have several pictures, but they only have two that are public and it's just
spk_0
of the woman.
spk_0
And they have her like three private photos.
spk_0
And I was curious.
spk_0
I almost like swipe right just to see what those photos are.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
It's like when you're driving past a car crash and you want to you want to turn and look, but
spk_0
maybe.
spk_0
No.
spk_0
I got a piece of work.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
First of all, like, it was a ping with a note.
spk_0
And like in my profile, at the end, I say it's something like, oh, just drop sexy stories
spk_0
or whatever.
spk_0
And I say that I'm quiet unless inspired to be loud.
spk_0
So the note says, hey, sexy, we are ready to swap sexy stories and see if we can inspire
spk_0
you to be loud.
spk_0
Hope to hear from you soon.
spk_0
And it's like the winky face with the kiss.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Inspired to be loud is in yelling for help.
spk_0
And like most of us, I feel like it's pretty, it's like, it's okay.
spk_0
It's kind of long.
spk_0
Oh, I like it.
spk_0
I think there's a lot on the way.
spk_0
You're not going to get out of reading aloud.
spk_0
Oh, no.
spk_0
I'll put on my reader voice.
spk_0
You know, okay.
spk_0
So their name is Polly Journey.
spk_0
Miss Nomer.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
So it says, no couples, only for the lovely ladies, we play together, not all caps, solo.
spk_0
How weird is the term lovely ladies?
spk_0
Lovely ladies.
spk_0
Make you feel like in third person, like, I know I went and met some lovely ladies.
spk_0
And then too, how would you feel if somebody called you a lovely lady?
spk_0
No.
spk_0
This is an audio format, but everybody's facial expression is grimacing.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
spk_0
Some level of disgust.
spk_0
Confusion.
spk_0
Don't love it.
spk_0
I'm a curvy to plus size queens in the front of the line, fun loving couple looking for a woman
spk_0
to build a long lasting relationship with.
spk_0
All shit.
spk_0
Someone we can enjoy inside and outside the bedroom.
spk_0
The someone we can enjoy, like something you get from the grocery store.
spk_0
Yeah.
spk_0
You enjoy a milkshake.
spk_0
You enjoy a warm bath.
spk_0
You don't enjoy a person.
spk_0
I was almost grateful for the word bedroom because we can enjoy inside and out outside.
spk_0
No.
spk_0
No.
spk_0
No.
spk_0
spk_0
Okay.
spk_0
We are both working professionals who value our time together and discretion while we are in the dating phase.
spk_0
Drama free.
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We are all adults looking to make each other's lives better.
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More pictures once we make a connection.
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We love and crave to talk and have open honest conversations.
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We aim to please each other and you in every way possible.
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Oh.
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Every way possible.
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Please say they crave to talk.
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We love and crave to talk and have open conversation and honest conversations.
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I have noticed the real indiscriminate use of the word crave.
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But Brando's got what plants crave.
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Right.
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Like outside of a taco bell commercial.
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Yeah.
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Like what was the one?
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Oh, we crave lingerie fueled fantasies was from another.
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Grave.
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Grave feels like a word that would be overused in like early fan fiction that I would have read as an teenager.
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Like smut fan fiction craving.
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Yeah.
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Don't know another word for it.
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So you just keep using the word crave.
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Brando's got what plants crave.
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Yeah.
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That's what it reads like to me.
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And you're so sexually inexperienced that you can only
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be an alligator sex drive to hunger.
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It's like the only other like drive in your body.
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It's just sex and hunger.
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That's me as a teenager hungry, horny, horny, hungry, horny.
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But these people I think are in their 40s like these.
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Can we also just have a moment to honor the one way to make drama free less convincing is to put an
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exclamation point on it.
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From a free.
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Okay.
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We aim to please each other and you in every way possible.
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It's not just about getting to know you physically but mentally too.
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What makes you feel most alive and how can we pour into you?
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Go on.
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Yeah.
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I wasn't sure if I was only a receptacle until that moment.
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And now I'm sure.
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Do you say receptacle?
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Yes.
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Oh, you were only a receptacle.
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I heard that weird.
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Sorry.
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What did you hear?
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Like, like you were saying I was almost receptive until that moment.
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Oh, receptacle.
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I'm until.
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Yeah.
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I'm actually.
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I feel really receptacle.
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But how bold.
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I mean, that is just all out there with like we need you to be a blank slate so we can pour our own
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insecurities, our own fantasies, our own personalities onto you.
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They probably think they're so cool and so like progressive and the whole drama free thing.
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Like, we do it so well.
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Yeah, final paragraphs.
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All right.
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I'm a five three petite plus size queen.
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This is my favorite least favorite part.
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I'm a five three petite plus size queen.
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And my chocolate king is 510 with a sexy comfy dad bod with cannon arms to pick up our big sexy bodies or the wrap around us for comfort and love
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If you want to get a nose better at
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Don't ask away. We are here and ready to mingle
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Chocolate king. Yeah, what are cannon arms? Like I guess they're big like tree trunks or something like thick arms
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I think that's what he's saying. I'm not saying just
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Exclosings. He's got like his got like cannons for arms like his yeah like those t-shirt cannons
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So I want to give this lady the benefit of the doubt and assume this is a king who is actually made of chocolate
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Okay, I'm going to I'm going straight to like like the jolly green giant right but chocolate
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I may or may not have jotted down a song
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Hail Hail the chocolate king in candy land. He's Lord and judge
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When he touches anything he turns it into creamy fudge
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Is that what they're going to pour into you creamy fudge?
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Ah
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This has been polyametry
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I feel like I get so many vibes in this profile overall that they are
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They're like speaking to the negative like oh we crave
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Talking and honest conversation as if there's like a dearth of it which just tells me
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There has been and there will be drama because you haven't figured out how to
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Do it and articulate and like pick compatible people
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So that there is drama and you have to put the stuff in your profile that just
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vaguely alludes to these failed endeavors in the past and like the contradictory language of like the
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You know starting with like oh that we can enjoy and then like oh but we can both focus on you
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It's almost like this reassuring thing. Yes. Yeah, like all dating apps. We are kind of selling ourselves. Yes
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But this profile and so many unicorn hunter profiles really feels like they're trying to sell you
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Yes, yes, yes, in order for you to even be interested like oh yeah
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And somehow they think that it's a plus that they're going to
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Rive it this intensity of attention on to you right they're gonna be like
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like
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Unbroken eye contact just on you the entire time they want to
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Pour into you exactly
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Yeah, so what do we think of to rate them
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Self-aggrandizement, you know, we see so many of the profiles that like we're the most amazing fun rich people you've ever seen and met and
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We're so hot
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And this is less that but it feels more of the grasping like we're not like other unicorn hunters like it feels like it feels like pick me
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You'd a corn hunting like yes
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Yeah, and my partner is going to launch you across
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Yeah, I feel like they just believe that human beings are completely made up of inanimate objects
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The the guy has cannon arms. He's made of chocolate and he has candy has cannon arms
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All right, so how would you rate them?
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For self-aggrandizement, I'm gonna say I don't know. I'm like out of five. I'm very like in the middle of it
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Me too. Yeah
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Yeah, I'd say probably about a five for me. I don't know where else to put this thirstiness like that I
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I want to like I want to address the thirstiness with a number
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Can I rate this and it's got to go in the self-aggrandizement?
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Yeah, and so I think it
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Bumps it up to like a seven
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All right, yeah, I think like comparing to other unicorn hunters. I think I agree like a six or a seven
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Yeah, yeah, definitely not humble about it. Yeah, they're they're also yeah like you were saying
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They're not trying to throw their boat at you or whatever like you could the launch boat
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That's true. Yes, it's cannon arms. Yeah
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Okay, arbitrary rules arbitrary rules. They didn't really have any specific rules
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They are
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More staunchly in the like single women only
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category than some of the other profiles we've I think it's been a while since we've seen one that is truly just
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Only single women. Yeah. Yeah, and always yeah that drama whenever they have drama
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Uh, yeah, I can't
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I really wish I could get into the mindset of people who like write these profiles like what what are you thinking because when you write that and drama free
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exclamation point like
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What makes you go like yeah
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That makes us see really cool
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Yeah
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Is drama free a rule if you yell it loud enough?
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I think to Nicole's conception of the like hidden rules thing
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I feel like there's so many hidden rules under the umbrella of drama free. Yeah, yeah, yeah
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Of like if you start to rock this boat that's drama you're out. Yeah, we're not gonna launch a boat at you unless you
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Greene out to rock it
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You started it Daniel you don't get to be grossed out by
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I mean
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The hidden rules thing always freaks me out. Yeah, and like is the number one probably the number one thing that keeps me away from
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Unicorn hunters besides not being like a shell of a person
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That they can film um, I'm gonna say
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Like a seven I'll go seven. Yeah. I'm gonna say
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Six just to be different
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Just to be arbitrary. Yeah, I mean, I think I'd support you with like a five or six. Yeah. Yeah
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I think we know your answer
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Michelle. I'm pretty sure I know the rest of
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Daniel you don't get to answer this question though. You say this but you don't get to you're not qualified. You're not qualified
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When did this
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Begin this new rule that you have imposed new rules on our dynamic
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Where I don't get to hypothetically say whether I would unicorn for people just because they don't want me to unicorn
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All right fine you can participate fine
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Ha ha ha
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Would you unicorn for them me? Oh
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No
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I'm also gonna be a no
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Yeah, it's a no for me dog
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So we do have the opportunity now to match with them
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live
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On my and send a message
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To the effect of all four of us would like to decline
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And I feel like the response would be confusing because just like they wrote their profile we we we
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We we
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You would respond Michelle
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No, no, no
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We politely decline
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A production of ricer records if you have a question for ask the amateurs or
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Recommendation for is this poly please email us at polyameterhour at gmail.com
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Leave us a five star review and most importantly tell at least one person in your life to check us out
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Remember the advice given by the amateurs should not be followed
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Unless you are prepared to be ecstatically happy
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Until next time