Bagel Bites & Secret Botox

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 Well hey there, welcome to the very first episode of Reality Check. Please.

spk_0 Hello, friends.

spk_0 Yes, our friends. I wonder who's listening to this right now.

spk_0 Probably just our friends.

spk_0 Well, and our mothers, maybe?

spk_0 Definitely not mine, maybe your mother.

spk_0 My name is Matt Laffrey and...

spk_0 I'm Jen Marsala.

spk_0 Yes, and we, you know, the world didn't necessarily need another podcast, per se, right?

spk_0 Or ask for one.

spk_0 No, nobody asked for us to do this.

spk_0 No.

spk_0 No, but that's fine.

spk_0 Because you know why?

spk_0 Why?

spk_0 We live in the land of Delulu.

spk_0 Yes, we're like a real housewife in that way.

spk_0 Yes, which we'll be talking about a lot.

spk_0 A lot.

spk_0 On this podcast.

spk_0 And in real life.

spk_0 Well, we talk about in real life, but that's partly why we decided to start this podcast.

spk_0 Yeah, because we thought, you know, we were so entertained by ourselves that why wouldn't, you know,

spk_0 other people be.

spk_0 And in our own minds, we should be more famous than we are.

spk_0 Yeah, I mean, I think you should be huge, mostly.

spk_0

spk_0 You mean like huge, like famous huge?

spk_0 Yeah, no, you're very skinny.

spk_0 I'm so sorry that I said that.

spk_0 How many weight jokes do you think we'll make about ourselves over the course of this podcast?

spk_0 I don't know. It depends on how much you want me to cry.

spk_0 No, I mean, like, not jokes of that.

spk_0 I mean, jokes of the nature of like, oh, how skinny we are.

spk_0 I can't even see you right now.

spk_0 You know what? It's just because you're a really good friend that you do that for me.

spk_0 And I appreciate it.

spk_0 One thing that we don't agree, like I, in real life, like on stage, we're both comedians.

spk_0 If you're listening to this and don't know who we are, now you do.

spk_0 We're both comedians, but on stage, I embrace my age.

spk_0 Oh, no, and I lie about my age.

spk_0 Correct. So that's something.

spk_0 I mean, you can because of the way you look.

spk_0 Come on, you're so sweet. Also, it's a lie, a lie.

spk_0 It's a lie of a mission, which I don't think I, I don't even know if that's a lie.

spk_0 If someone were to Google, you would, they'd be able to see what your actual age is.

spk_0 No, I paid a Bulgarian teenager to have it scrubbed from the internet.

spk_0 Oh, I need that phone number.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Actually, I don't think I need it.

spk_0 Yeah, I, you know what I would like scrubbed.

spk_0 I would like my who wants to be a millionaire scrubbed from the internet.

spk_0 Not the actual clip that they use.

spk_0 The showgirls clip, which is fun, but like the outcome.

spk_0 Yeah, no, I would like you to go back in time and then have you win a million dollars.

spk_0 And then do you think still think we'd be making podcasts in my dining room?

spk_0 Yeah, we probably would have done it sooner.

spk_0 Oh, yeah. And with a sort of higher budget.

spk_0 Yeah. What are you talking about? These mismatched mics are on purpose.

spk_0 We've arrived.

spk_0 So let's, you know, for people who are coming across this podcast,

spk_0 we should tell them exactly how we met because it's a real Hollywood story.

spk_0 So Jen and I are obviously we're comedians.

spk_0 Jen's a very talented actress.

spk_0 She's so funny.

spk_0 And we've been industry in the industry in some form or on of another for a long while.

spk_0 But we met in a very Hollywood way.

spk_0 We did.

spk_0 Matt worked at a restaurant that I used to go to way too often, right?

spk_0 Like probably three times a week.

spk_0 That's not as generous as I would say, but sure.

spk_0 What do you say?

spk_0 Every day.

spk_0 Every day. I went to this restaurant every day.

spk_0 And not with your husband.

spk_0 No, and often when he would, my husband would come with me.

spk_0 It would be a real impediment to my relationship with Matt, my favorite waiter.

spk_0 Right.

spk_0 And I just, Matt was a waiter there and he was so funny and so clever and we had so much fun.

spk_0 So I said, like obviously this is Los Angeles, you're not a writer.

spk_0 Are you an actor?

spk_0 I mean, you're not a waiter.

spk_0 Are you an actor or writer?

spk_0 And he said he was a writer and I said, can I read something that you've written?

spk_0 And he sent me a script and it was really funny.

spk_0 I mean, thank God because I would have had to stop going to that restaurant.

spk_0 You really would have, you would have to go to hiding.

spk_0 I actually, I want to bring that script back.

spk_0 I was so good.

spk_0 It was so good.

spk_0 We should have.

spk_0 I love that.

spk_0 The thing is, like, it was such a relief because you know when you meet someone and you really like them.

spk_0 And then you wonder the thing they really want to do if they're bad at it.

spk_0 Talented.

spk_0 Yeah, if they're bad at it, then you probably can't continue that relationship.

spk_0 Because then it's going to be a lot of lying for a lot of years.

spk_0 But Matt is such a talented, funny writer.

spk_0 This was before he was doing stand-up.

spk_0 He was writing half hour.

spk_0 And this podcast is not going to be a circle jerk of the two of us just saying how great we are.

spk_0 I mean, yes, it will come up because, like I said, the land of delusion.

spk_0 But, you know, this is just to give you the backstory.

spk_0 But people should know so Jen's husband is a showrunner in television.

spk_0 And so one day out of nowhere after we had developed this relationship from me waiting tables,

spk_0 she calls me and asks if I'd want a job on his show that he was doing at the time.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And then we became even better friends.

spk_0 Yeah, that really solidified our friendship.

spk_0 I think it happened when we went to Toronto for the show.

spk_0 Alex brought me there.

spk_0 Her husband's name is Alex.

spk_0 And Jen had helped me gather up videos and create a video to propose to my now husband.

spk_0 George, who's the best?

spk_0 She really took the lead on that.

spk_0 Now, I like to tell this story because this really shows the dichotomy of our friendship.

spk_0 At the time, I was the...

spk_0 I was the showrunner's assistant.

spk_0 And I think I made a good amount of money for a showrunner's assistant.

spk_0 But it still wasn't like a lot of money.

spk_0 And Jen, when I was saying I wanted to propose to my husband, goes,

spk_0 oh my god, I have the best jeweler who can make you a custom engagement ring.

spk_0 And I was like, I'm making $600 a week.

spk_0 I don't think...

spk_0 I think Amazon is where I'll be getting my engagement ring.

spk_0 What a lucky man.

spk_0 But that's the land of delusion, which makes us so enjoyable.

spk_0 It is.

spk_0 Our differences are really the things that unite us.

spk_0 That was such a fun job.

spk_0 It was, you know, the first opportunity for Matt and I to work together.

spk_0 Yeah, because Jen was an actress on the show.

spk_0 So good.

spk_0 If you want to go back and watch it, take it.

spk_0 It's on Peacock.

spk_0 It's still on?

spk_0 Yeah, take it.

spk_0 It's going to be on Peacock.

spk_0 Yeah, I think it's still on.

spk_0 That was a fun job.

spk_0 Anyway.

spk_0 Also, I do want to point out that Jen was in...

spk_0 Probably...

spk_0 I would say it's one of the most iconic commercials ever created.

spk_0 Which one are you talking about?

spk_0 The guy go commercial.

spk_0 Oh, we got band in that commercial.

spk_0 What are you talking about?

spk_0 Yeah, we got band.

spk_0 People loved that commercial.

spk_0 You know, it was really controversial commercial.

spk_0 We got banded by a group called One Million Mons.

spk_0 Because it was a commercial where I was on a date with a pig in a car.

spk_0 Oh my gosh.

spk_0 The reality.

spk_0 Guys, this part of our podcast is all about nostalgia.

spk_0 And going back to our...

spk_0 I don't know.

spk_0 Without giving away an age, 80s and 90s upbringing.

spk_0 And...

spk_0 80s and 90s.

spk_0 Revisiting things that we enjoyed as children.

spk_0 And seeing how they translate to 2025.

spk_0 So that timer was our first one that we're doing this week in the nostalgia check.

spk_0 And it's going to be...

spk_0 Bagel bites.

spk_0 Bagel bite.

spk_0 Do you remember the jingle?

spk_0 No, it's was the jingle.

spk_0 Oh.

spk_0 When pizza's on a bagel.

spk_0 You can eat pizza anytime.

spk_0 I'm not sure.

spk_0 I forgot the jingle just this minute.

spk_0 That's the power of the jingle.

spk_0 But also, why...

spk_0 Why could you just not eat pizza anytime in general?

spk_0 I don't know.

spk_0 I guess it means...

spk_0 For breakfast?

spk_0 For breakfast.

spk_0 But we had pizza for breakfast all the time.

spk_0 Did they not go to college?

spk_0 Literally wake up and eat pizza that's been laying around for eight hours.

spk_0 I'm very excited about it.

spk_0 I haven't had a bagel bite since I was in high school, I think.

spk_0 And when was lost in you at a bagel bite?

spk_0 Oh.

spk_0 I don't even know if I ate bagel bites when I was in college.

spk_0 I mean, I would eat them all the time as a kid.

spk_0 I mean, we're going to throw off the course of this podcast.

spk_0 We're going to go through all of the crazy things we had.

spk_0 But yeah, they were definitely a staple in my freezer as a child.

spk_0 They weren't really a staple in my freezer.

spk_0 I do remember like one of the things...

spk_0 One of my biggest bagel bite memories was that when I was in junior high,

spk_0 I had a friend who I knew was really rich.

spk_0 Her family was really rich because when I went there...

spk_0 They didn't have bagel bites?

spk_0 No, we had unlimited bagel bites.

spk_0 I'm sorry.

spk_0 If I had a rich friend, I would...

spk_0 We were the poorest of poor.

spk_0 And bagel bites were one of our staples.

spk_0 Oh, no.

spk_0 I thought that this...

spk_0 So when we went, we would go to Ashley's house.

spk_0 We could have as many bagel bites as we want.

spk_0 I mean, so many bagel bites.

spk_0 And I thought that was the height of sophistication when I was a kid.

spk_0 I was like, I don't...

spk_0 That's Vegas.

spk_0 She's from Vegas.

spk_0 I was like, they're so fancy and so rich.

spk_0 Because of my house, we would have like the little boxes of bagel bites.

spk_0 You had eight bagel bites.

spk_0 Like, you would never dream of sharing that with all of your friends.

spk_0 I know now that they just had a Costco membership.

spk_0 But at the time, I was like, what is happening?

spk_0 And what was wealthy back then to you?

spk_0 I mean, that was it.

spk_0 Her mom would come in with just like,

spk_0 tray is a bagel bite.

spk_0 And when we ate those bagel bites, more bagel bites would appear.

spk_0 And I thought, wow, this is...

spk_0 Ashley is living the life.

spk_0 So we have them.

spk_0 They're ready.

spk_0 My husband, who is helping produce this podcast,

spk_0 graciously brought them to us.

spk_0 Thank you for your time.

spk_0 Now...

spk_0 For those of you who have never had a bagel bite,

spk_0 I'll just...

spk_0 Because we're recording this too, if we want to ever use this as a clip.

spk_0 But they aren't consistent.

spk_0 Some of them have zero chunks of cheese product.

spk_0 Yeah, I mean, I would honestly say that quality control

spk_0 at the bagel bites factory is sort of...

spk_0 They really let themselves go.

spk_0 I thought...

spk_0 This is not how I remember them.

spk_0 Like, I thought they were way more uniform.

spk_0 I thought...

spk_0 Some of these have like two little cheese cubes.

spk_0 Some of them have no sauce at all.

spk_0 I barely see the pepperoni.

spk_0 That one doesn't have any pepperoni.

spk_0 It's straight.

spk_0 Okay, well, you have to take a...

spk_0 You have to...

spk_0 I'm gonna take a few...

spk_0 The last time Jen ate a carb was...

spk_0 Who is president?

spk_0 Clinton.

spk_0 So, okay, cheers to this.

spk_0 We're gonna taste the bagel bite.

spk_0 Oh.

spk_0 Oh my god, it's so hot.

spk_0 I'm gonna burn my lip.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 I just get dull.

spk_0 Yeah, I...

spk_0 I'm so sad right now.

spk_0 This is...

spk_0 This is sad food.

spk_0 I'm so sad right now because I remember this being...

spk_0 Maybe one of the tastiest things I ever snacks I ever had as a child.

spk_0 You know how like when you're sad and you're ice cream it makes you happy?

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 This is the opposite.

spk_0 Like when you're happy and you want a little depression kick,

spk_0 you just grab a bagel bite.

spk_0 Oh man, oh, I did hear the saddest story from a friend who ate a bagel bite the other day.

spk_0 It's actually what reminded me of what we should have these bagel bites.

spk_0 And she had a bagel bite and then she told me that she microwaved it.

spk_0 Which I mean...

spk_0 Straight to Jill.

spk_0 Yeah, honestly.

spk_0 If this is bad, imagine if it had been micro.

spk_0 What kind of time crunch was she in that she needed to microwave a bagel bite?

spk_0 I mean, I know.

spk_0 Also, why is she buying bagel bites?

spk_0 I think they were in her freezer for a mystery reason.

spk_0 You know how sometimes things just appear?

spk_0 Maybe like a guest had come to town from like a visitor from the 1990s.

spk_0 Like left the bagel bite in the freezer.

spk_0 It's like a portal to another dimension and she was like, oh, a bagel bite.

spk_0 I'll try this bagel bite and she...

spk_0 To be fair, she has like a three level house and on the bottom level is a freezer.

spk_0 And a microwave but no oven.

spk_0 And she didn't want to walk up two flights of stairs, which I can respect.

spk_0 Rich and lazy.

spk_0 That's...

spk_0 We all aspire to just be rich and lazy.

spk_0 Yeah, so I can respect her reasons for doing it.

spk_0 She found the bagel bite.

spk_0 She was like, oh, I'm a microwave these.

spk_0 And then she ate them.

spk_0 Although, she's not rich enough to just have somebody get the bagel bites for her.

spk_0 No, but I mean goals.

spk_0 Okay, well, that is...

spk_0 Yeah, so we all got to have a level to go up to.

spk_0 So let's just read what's in these.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 I'm going to try another bite.

spk_0 Get the ASMR.

spk_0 Get up in that microphone.

spk_0 Come on.

spk_0 Give the people what they want.

spk_0 I don't know how to do ASMR.

spk_0 I just want to point out that you took a second bite of the bagel bite.

spk_0 I know that was my sneaky way of getting more carbs.

spk_0 And I am the biggest fat ass and I literally was like, I don't...

spk_0 Or George, you were going to have one of these?

spk_0 I have one for the low one.

spk_0 George, have a big one.

spk_0 You eat one.

spk_0 Give us your...

spk_0 Your opinion as well while we look over these wholesome, clean ingredients.

spk_0 Thia mine mono nitrate.

spk_0 Oh my God, that my grandmother used to put that in everything she made.

spk_0 Oh, I mean, I don't...

spk_0 Oh, pepperoni is probably the 16th ingredient down.

spk_0 So I guess that's what we're missing is that.

spk_0 Because you know, they can list ingredients from that.

spk_0 What's the first ingredient, bagel?

spk_0 Many bagel halves, yes.

spk_0 This isn't saline.

spk_0 In rich, weak flour.

spk_0 Yeah, I mean, guys, we were bamboozled as kids.

spk_0 These...

spk_0 I think so.

spk_0 What would you give them out of 10?

spk_0 I feel bad.

spk_0 I feel like I'm ruining a childhood memory.

spk_0 Do you know what I mean?

spk_0 I think that's what we're here for.

spk_0 We're here for a reality check, please.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Okay, well in this reality rewind, I give bagel bites like a two.

spk_0 Oh, that's...

spk_0 Well, a two?

spk_0 You had two bites.

spk_0 You're giving them the one point for every bite you had.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 George chomped down on his own.

spk_0 So...

spk_0 Wow.

spk_0 George is not very discriminating.

spk_0 I do.

spk_0 And he's your husband.

spk_0 Maybe we could put this to the fans.

spk_0 Because Jen called it reality rewind and we've been discussing what we wanted to call us.

spk_0 I think it should be called nostalgia check.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 So maybe we'll ask the people...

spk_0 All the people listening to this.

spk_0 Matt's mom, should we call it nostalgia check or reality rewind?

spk_0 Pretend Matt isn't the one who said nostalgia check.

spk_0 I don't even think my mom knows how to access a podcast.

spk_0 I think we have to call her and play notes for her phone.

spk_0 Oh my god, please.

spk_0 That's...

spk_0 When I call her, I have this problem where I'll say goodbye and she'll be like,

spk_0 okay, bye, and then she'll bring up another story.

spk_0 And so, there's 15 goodbyes before we even end up ending the phone conversation.

spk_0 Yeah, but is the thing that she brings up ever actually a story or is it just something like...

spk_0 Colleen's taking swim class.

spk_0 No, oh, it's even worse.

spk_0 It's like, what's the weather like out there?

spk_0 I'm like, you could just use your app.

spk_0 You could go look it up.

spk_0 Oh, he wants another bagel bite.

spk_0 Gosh, George, wow.

spk_0 Finish him.

spk_0 All right, well that was a reality rewinder and nostalgia check.

spk_0 Yeah, and it's bad for us as children kids.

spk_0 It's not good.

spk_0 I actually feel better because this makes me feel like Ashley, the fanciest girl I knew in middle school,

spk_0 you know, this makes me see that through different lens, you know.

spk_0 Yeah, I'm going to give him a little more four.

spk_0 Oh, yeah.

spk_0 Just because I don't, you know, what up to see like as we move forward with other products,

spk_0 what if something's worse and you gave it a two?

spk_0 You don't have much lower to go, are we going to go negative?

spk_0 No, I don't think it's based on the continuum of all things we're testing.

spk_0 Like, we're not ranking them.

spk_0 I think on a scale of one to ten of how much I would want to eat a bagel bite again,

spk_0 it's a two.

spk_0 And the scenarios in which I would want to eat a bagel again all involve me being drunk and a different person.

spk_0 So, I am...

spk_0 You've been drunk one and a half times in your life.

spk_0 Yeah, and I need a bagel bite.

spk_0 You have one and a half times.

spk_0 I do actually know them thinking about the theme song.

spk_0 Do you think there's ever been a person who's had bagel bites for breakfast?

spk_0 Yeah, I think I had, I would have...

spk_0 For breakfast.

spk_0 Yeah, if your pop tarts are like, if you run in a pop tarts.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 If you say so, I don't believe her.

spk_0 I don't think she's ever had a bagel bite for breakfast.

spk_0 Or a pop tarts.

spk_0 Well, pop tarts, they're coming.

spk_0 They might be next week.

spk_0 I know what I mean.

spk_0 Pop tarts, I don't know if we can do them because you probably haven't had one in a long time.

spk_0 But I probably had a pop tarts like a year ago.

spk_0 And what were the circumstances?

spk_0 Well, the sugar cookie pop tarts that they bring out during the holidays, which will be coming out soon.

spk_0 So maybe we'll do that and I'll have you taste it because it's like one of the best pop tarts you ever have in your entire life.

spk_0 Really?

spk_0 100%.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 I sometimes in elementary school, I would walk to the bus eating a cold pop tart.

spk_0 Yeah, I don't need my pop tart to be in a toaster.

spk_0 We will table this conversation because we should have to do this when we do pop tarts.

spk_0 Yeah, alright.

spk_0

spk_0 So we're going to do that segment later, but the timer went off guys.

spk_0 Because we wanted to go into our next segment, which we're calling reality self checkout.

spk_0 And I had something very devastating happened to me this week.

spk_0 No, what happened?

spk_0 I had to get reading glasses.

spk_0 No.

spk_0 I did.

spk_0 Because you couldn't see her because your eye doctor told you, girl.

spk_0 Well, I noticed things up close like when I was reading because I've always had such amazing vision.

spk_0 What do you mean like 2020?

spk_0 Like even below 2016.

spk_0 Like I could always read the bottom line.

spk_0 What?

spk_0 I still can though because that's from afar.

spk_0 But up close, I've had this eye twitch and my left eye and it's because my vision,

spk_0 I guess when you can't read up close, it's far-sighted.

spk_0 I think it's what it is.

spk_0 It's like the off-line.

spk_0 Yeah, when you can't read up close, it's far-what?

spk_0 You're near-sighted if you can see near things and you're far-sighted if you can see far things.

spk_0 Right.

spk_0 And if you can see all things, you're a mutant that shouldn't be existing in the world.

spk_0 Right.

spk_0 So I went from my yearly checkup and it had gotten worse since last year because I had...

spk_0 I go get my eye checked a year.

spk_0 And he was like, yeah, this is why your eye is switching because you're straining your eye

spk_0 because you're reading all the time and on a screen all the time and you need to wear these glasses to see.

spk_0 So I had to get readers and it's like, that is something where you're like, oh my god, I'm old.

spk_0 Yeah, I agree.

spk_0 I'm not there, obviously, yet in the reader's day.

spk_0 You don't have contacts in your eyes?

spk_0 I have contacts because I haven't been able to see since I was a child.

spk_0 At what age?

spk_0 A small child.

spk_0 Okay, exactly.

spk_0 So, right.

spk_0 But I can see up close.

spk_0 I just can't see distance.

spk_0 I've had contacts since I was like 15 years old.

spk_0 Right, so that's not a flex.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 That's...

spk_0 Matt, I've always been blind.

spk_0 But I did read...

spk_0 I was reading without glasses and I was reading an article about how they're coming out with eyedrops now that fix far-sightedness.

spk_0 Or that fix needing reading glasses.

spk_0 So...

spk_0 You just put these eyedrops in.

spk_0 Uh-huh.

spk_0 I don't know.

spk_0 I think you need eyeglasses because your muscles get weak.

spk_0 Your eyeball muscles get weak.

spk_0 I guess I'd rather that get weak than another kind of muscle.

spk_0 What kind of muscles are you getting?

spk_0 Like as you get older, other muscles stop working.

spk_0 Well, you know, I don't use any of my muscles.

spk_0 But...

spk_0 Yes, you do.

spk_0 I'd absolutely not if I can help it.

spk_0 Uh-huh.

spk_0 I'll do anything to not have to exercise even a little bit.

spk_0 And that's the only reason I understood my friend who microwave drew bagel bites because I was like, oh, two flights of stairs.

spk_0 Now I get it.

spk_0 But, uh, yes, so they're putting these drops out, I think.

spk_0 It's like going for approval that will just correct your vision.

spk_0 So you might not need readers for that long.

spk_0 They're cute, though.

spk_0 They are?

spk_0 Uh-huh.

spk_0 How can we not order in them right now?

spk_0 I just got them.

spk_0 They came this morning because I ordered them online because, you know, the eye...

spk_0 The eye doctor, they...

spk_0 First of all, my eye doctor is amazing.

spk_0 I love the actual doctor, but then they're like, do you want to buy your frames here?

spk_0 And all they have are like, saline frames.

spk_0 And they're all like $1,000.

spk_0 And I'm like, I'm not paying $1,000 for a pair of readers and I'm only going to use...

spk_0 ...one some week because I'm actually not going to use them.

spk_0 Because you don't breathe.

spk_0 Like I didn't bring them here.

spk_0 Who doesn't read?

spk_0 He's like, no.

spk_0 No, I'm not.

spk_0 Readers, I don't need these at all.

spk_0 What would I ever use these?

spk_0 I will.

spk_0 I will read you right now.

spk_0 You need a contact that you are a 15.

spk_0 You don't need glasses for that.

spk_0 I'll say the year that you were 15 and then our listeners could figure it out.

spk_0 How dare you.

spk_0 Oh, that's like a real housewives' fight.

spk_0 Um, so...

spk_0 I'm really sorry that that happened to you.

spk_0 Thank you.

spk_0 Would you have anything that you would like to?

spk_0 Um, I uh, that I need to check in about reality.

spk_0 I think this is actually leading us into our next section because I find I get most of my reality from social media.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 Um, this is a segment that we call ad nauseam.

spk_0 Right.

spk_0 And it's ads that were kind of a reality check for us.

spk_0 Right, and I think that you should know because you probably, I don't know if you do,

spk_0 but so Adam Mosari who's the head of Instagram, he actually just did a real on his own personal page about two or three days ago,

spk_0 that Instagram is not listening to you.

spk_0 There's no way that what you say affects the ad you get and his comments were hilarious.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 And people are like me when I lie because nobody fucking believes that shit.

spk_0 It's just impossible.

spk_0 No, it isn't possible.

spk_0 It's just a coincidence that like you get all the, you know, porn that you like on your Instagram feed.

spk_0 What kind of porn are you getting on your Instagram?

spk_0 You're getting porn on Instagram.

spk_0 Are we not on the same Instagram?

spk_0 Well, can you tell me what this Instagram is?

spk_0 Adam Mosari, if you're listening.

spk_0 I'm sure he is.

spk_0 No, I mean, I, I think, you know, it's kind of my porn because right now,

spk_0 the thing that is my biggest turn on is just like before and after photos of plastic surgeries.

spk_0 That's like the thing that turns me on the most.

spk_0 I mean, it's like all my whole Instagram feed is just pictures of like necklifts and brow lifts and face lifts.

spk_0 Like basically like if you lift it, I will come.

spk_0 I can see you in the bathtub just scrolling through these before and afters and your husband's like, are you okay in there?

spk_0 I'm not finished yet.

spk_0 Shut the door.

spk_0 Yeah, I just, I've reached the stage in my life where before and afters of plastic surgery is like so hot.

spk_0 I just need to be planning for my future.

spk_0 What would you get done if you needed to get something done today?

spk_0 Oh god, I have such a list.

spk_0 Well, what's the thing?

spk_0 Very number one thing on the list.

spk_0 Well, here's the thing that was very upsetting for me.

spk_0 So I have always been told if someone's like, you know who you look like, which is not good when you're an actor yourself, but they're like, you know, you look like Anne Hathaway.

spk_0 I have a joke about it in my set that I look like Anne Hathaway.

spk_0 Anne Hathaway has a new face and it's so good.

spk_0 It's such a good face.

spk_0 Like Lindsay Lohan could.

spk_0 Yes, it's incredible.

spk_0 I remember.

spk_0 Chris Jenner could.

spk_0 It's so good.

spk_0 I don't know which surgeon she saw.

spk_0 It's so good.

spk_0 She just looks like herself, but like it, you know, 20, but still like rich and successful.

spk_0 Like she looks so good.

spk_0 And so now the really depressing thing is like, if people tell me I look like Anne Hathaway, I'm like the before picture of Anne Hathaway.

spk_0 I'm so upset about it.

spk_0 So I don't know what she had done.

spk_0 People are discussing it.

spk_0 And the word is maybe like a ponytail lift, which is just like watch.

spk_0 I get so much cuter.

spk_0 Cute.

spk_0 It's like don't see it.

spk_0 It's different.

spk_0 Oh my god.

spk_0 Thank you so much.

spk_0 And then, and then, oh, I want an upper bluff.

spk_0 That's where they just make your eyelids.

spk_0 I think so much.

spk_0 I think that's the right decress head done because his eyes are like really big.

spk_0 They're like, you could you have big eyes?

spk_0 Big eyes, but think about how big they would be with an upper bluff.

spk_0 I'd look surprised all the time that every day would be a surprise party.

spk_0 That's just the cut.

spk_0 The cut, they cut the extra skin out.

spk_0 And then you just look so, you such snatched lids.

spk_0 I would go like, on my eyelids are so snatched.

spk_0 That would tear if I don't want a knife, a needle or anything going near my eyeballs.

spk_0 I don't want it.

spk_0 I want the result.

spk_0 Like, I don't want a facelift in that I don't the whole process of it feels terrifying for me.

spk_0 I just want to wake up one morning having had a facelift, do you know what I mean?

spk_0 Yeah, like it just happened overnight in your sleep.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Oh, yeah.

spk_0 I mean, I guess it is what surgery is technically.

spk_0 It happens in your sleep.

spk_0 But I don't want to have had the I'm very scared of plastic surgery, but I'm also really sort of thrilled about the idea.

spk_0 So you're you're targeted ad you're saying on social media are all for plastic surgery.

spk_0 Okay, Instagram feed all plastic surgery, but like I was on Facebook the other day.

spk_0 And like I know no one's on Facebook anymore, but like I'm just on the you just want to see what the old people are up to.

spk_0 Well, I'm no I'm on there for the ads.

spk_0 Oh, okay.

spk_0 Sorry, because they have had my algorithm longer.

spk_0 They know me very well.

spk_0 So I get I buy a lot of stuff on I'm a mark on Facebook.

spk_0 You order things through Facebook ads.

spk_0 Oh my god.

spk_0 So way too well.

spk_0 What do you mean you don't order things through Facebook ads?

spk_0 I have never ordered something through a Facebook ever never.

spk_0 Wow.

spk_0 Wow, Matt.

spk_0 Well, I've actually never ordered anything through a TikTok shop, which is what the kids are doing.

spk_0 Oh, well, I'm not on TikTok.

spk_0 Okay, first of all, I just want to preface this by saying you look very young.

spk_0 However, you're really showing your age by selling people you shop on Facebook and you don't know what TikTok is.

spk_0 Really like I have to be on Facebook.

spk_0 It's the only way I hear from my mom.

spk_0 So what's the last thing that you bought on Facebook?

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 So through an ad, I should say not like Facebook marketplace like you're actually shopping ads.

spk_0 Yeah, no, not the marketplace.

spk_0 I don't use that.

spk_0 Well, no, the marketplace is fine.

spk_0 You could get good stuff on Facebook marketplace.

spk_0 Listen, I only all of my targeted ads on Facebook are anti-aging products or products that allow you to stop working out.

spk_0 And so the thing that I just bought is a vibration plate.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 What?

spk_0 I thought we were going to say a vibrator.

spk_0 No, I don't get it.

spk_0 To go along with your plastic surgery before and after.

spk_0 I mean, they go hand in hand.

spk_0 I bought a vibration plate.

spk_0 You know what that is?

spk_0 Yes, you stand on it and like shakes your body and it's supposed to like work.

spk_0 Did you like Chloe Kardashian use this or something?

spk_0 Oh, I don't know.

spk_0 I just, it just, the ad was all about how you could like not stop working out because it is lymphatic drainage, weight loss, and it helps with bone density, which you know.

spk_0 Yeah, you don't want to shrink.

spk_0 I don't want my bones to become hollow like sort of like wind chimes.

spk_0 You know what this makes me think of?

spk_0 What?

spk_0 The thymaster.

spk_0 Oh, yeah.

spk_0 And now that's still working out.

spk_0

spk_0 You still have to do something.

spk_0 Right, but it actually didn't do anything.

spk_0 No, I think it would.

spk_0 It's just resistance training but between your thighs.

spk_0 Were you like a little 12 year old boy using a thymaster after your weight watcher meeting?

spk_0 It was 100%.

spk_0 You were the cutest little boy.

spk_0 The cutest chubbiest little boy who ate bagel bites after school and watched Ricky Lake.

spk_0 Well, he's just thymaster.

spk_0 Yes, I was obsessed with Susan Summers.

spk_0 Oh, my God.

spk_0 No, how my parents didn't know that I was a homosexual.

spk_0 Yeah, I don't know.

spk_0 That just seems, if we are delulu.

spk_0 I mean exactly.

spk_0 That's what I'm saying.

spk_0 We are. We're very delulu.

spk_0 But yeah, so have you used it?

spk_0 Or is it just sitting there?

spk_0 The vibration plate?

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Oh, you have to use it every day.

spk_0 I'm asking you though if you have used it.

spk_0 Yeah, I have used it.

spk_0 You have to use it.

spk_0 You used it every day.

spk_0 Your life.

spk_0 I'm not lying.

spk_0 Yes, you are.

spk_0 You have not even.

spk_0 It's in the box still.

spk_0 No, it's in my living room and we can go.

spk_0 It's in your living room.

spk_0 Like set up on the floor right now?

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 You have to use it 20 minutes a day.

spk_0 I watch a lot of the shows that we're going to be discussing from my vibration plate.

spk_0 Oh, my God.

spk_0 You'll see it in three months to a year.

spk_0 I'll be, you know, all of abs.

spk_0 I probably won't have abs.

spk_0 I don't think that does that.

spk_0 But my bones are going to be so fucking hard.

spk_0 You know?

spk_0 Oh, my God.

spk_0 You are going to be so.

spk_0 You don't even need a costume.

spk_0 And for Halloween, you could just be a skeleton.

spk_0 So I would take a, just walk around.

spk_0 People are like, oh, my God, those bones.

spk_0 Those bones.

spk_0 I can see them.

spk_0 That bone density though.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 So that is the ad that I got last week.

spk_0 And then I bought it.

spk_0 And now I am the proud owner of a vibration plate.

spk_0 I mean, if they are listening, your phone's going to be blowing up with everything now, because they know that they got you.

spk_0 Oh, I know.

spk_0 Everything you see you're going to buy.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And have and will and have.

spk_0 So let's see what we get for next week's segment.

spk_0 I am actually.

spk_0 So now you actually have to buy something every week.

spk_0 Oh, it's not just the ads I'm listening to us.

spk_0 He's like shutting the credit card off right now.

spk_0 He already thinks Amazon.

spk_0 He already thinks I have a dedicated Amazon delivery driver.

spk_0 He probably do.

spk_0 Ron, stop talking about him.

spk_0 He's so nice.

spk_0 He's a family to feed.

spk_0 So you mentioned the show.

spk_0 So I guess we'll get right into the meat of this, which is our reality check in.

spk_0

spk_0 What do you want to start with?

spk_0 I think the biggest bomb this week.

spk_0 Now, we're going to release on Mondays.

spk_0 So we're talking about the shows that occurred the previous week from when this drops.

spk_0 But for this week that we're recording, the biggest bomb was probably the Miami reunion.

spk_0 At the end, Julia announces that she and Adriana slept together.

spk_0 I mean, it was pretty shocking.

spk_0 Do you think that that really happened?

spk_0 Why would you say it if it didn't happen?

spk_0 It doesn't do you any...

spk_0 It doesn't look good, doesn't it?

spk_0 Well, no, because it means she cheated on Martina.

spk_0 Exactly.

spk_0 So why would you say...

spk_0 I don't know why you'd say a period.

spk_0 But why would you say it if it hadn't actually happened?

spk_0 I think what...

spk_0 I think that Julia had such a tough season.

spk_0 She came into the reunion crying about the comments online and she played the whole first episode with this like...

spk_0 puppy dog looking down so sad, vibe.

spk_0 And I think she thought that by revealing this information, this happened in season four, apparently.

spk_0 We're on season seven.

spk_0 So this is years.

spk_0 So is this about the time when she did the proposal?

spk_0 Yes.

spk_0 The friend proposal to her.

spk_0 That's when we're talking about...

spk_0

spk_0 That's exactly the time.

spk_0 They slept together apparently in the Hamptons during the friend proposal?

spk_0 Yes.

spk_0 While they were filming the show.

spk_0 Okay, well, I mean, it was strange if you flash back to that friend proposal.

spk_0 It always felt very strange to do as your friend.

spk_0 I mean, I love you dearly, but I'm not called my custom ring guy to make a ring for you yet.

spk_0 No.

spk_0 What who looks worse in that situation?

spk_0 Is it Julia cheating on her wife or is it Adriana knowing that she's married and sleeping with her?

spk_0 Or both? Is it equal?

spk_0 I don't know in this situation because you know how they always say don't blame the woman.

spk_0 What do you do when they're both women?

spk_0 Oh.

spk_0 Like in a cheating scenario, they're always like, oh, you always blame the woman.

spk_0 The man did it too.

spk_0 But like in this scenario, who is the home wrecker or the home wrecky?

spk_0 I don't know what it's the...

spk_0 Would you remember Julia's first season to though?

spk_0 You could see that she and Martina kind of weren't.

spk_0 Do you think that Julia married Martina out of true real love?

spk_0 Yeah, I mean, listen.

spk_0 I believe in love, so let's just say yes.

spk_0 Let's just say yes.

spk_0 We don't have any evidence to the contrary, do we really?

spk_0 Well, she was engaged nine times.

spk_0 I mean, but like Danielle.

spk_0 19 times.

spk_0 Nobody competes with Danielle's stuff.

spk_0 I know.

spk_0 But nine times, I mean...

spk_0 Do you remember when there was a large suburb that the thing about Julia making out with a man

spk_0 that she was caught making out with a man?

spk_0 Oh, I remember that.

spk_0 And she's been kissing everybody on the mouth on every trip.

spk_0 Right.

spk_0 So maybe they have an open thing?

spk_0 Yeah, maybe.

spk_0 I don't know.

spk_0 I get weird energy from her.

spk_0 From Julia?

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 Okay, but where did you flashing back to last week's episode just while we're here?

spk_0 Where did you fall on the Julia Adriana sort of fight about them?

spk_0 Like not supporting each other in the music?

spk_0 And why were there so many Christmas parties in that episode?

spk_0 Well, there were four...

spk_0 They had like four events in one episode, which was so strange to just cram that all in like that.

spk_0 And like, the nothing really happened.

spk_0 It was all exposition to set up the last party where the fight had.

spk_0 But we could have just not had any of that.

spk_0 Right.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 I like Adriana so much.

spk_0 I think she's so funny.

spk_0 And I think she's an integral part of the show.

spk_0 But I don't think she played that right.

spk_0 To yell at her like that.

spk_0 Yeah, and to say no one would have came in guard you from that shitty place you were living.

spk_0 That is so...

spk_0 I mean, did I laugh?

spk_0 Yes.

spk_0 Do I think it was wrong?

spk_0 Yes.

spk_0 In life, but not on reality TV.

spk_0 Yeah, exactly.

spk_0 We need that.

spk_0 Like when she yelled at Mara...

spk_0 We're going...

spk_0 We haven't...

spk_0 This is our first episode.

spk_0 We could talk about all the Miami shit.

spk_0 Like when she yelled at Mara saw you old whore with your...

spk_0 Bony ass and these old ass-nees?

spk_0 That's hilarious.

spk_0 I'm sorry for Mara saw that it affected her to get surgery, but she's getting it for free.

spk_0 Well, that's true.

spk_0 She's getting it sponsored.

spk_0 So Adrianna did her a favor.

spk_0 Anyone wants to say that I've old ass eyelids and then someone else...

spk_0 Your eyelids are so...

spk_0 Good saggy.

spk_0 Okay, not my best friend.

spk_0

spk_0 Saggy ass eyelids.

spk_0 If your Anathomies surgeon, please give me a go.

spk_0 Yeah, I don't know.

spk_0 I love Adrianna.

spk_0 So I...

spk_0 See you and I...

spk_0 You and I have very different tastes in housewives.

spk_0 You don't love Adrianna.

spk_0 No.

spk_0 Why?

spk_0 I don't know.

spk_0 It actually kind of is against what I usually want in a housewife because usually in my

spk_0 environment...

spk_0 What do you want in housewife?

spk_0 My requirements to be a good housewife.

spk_0 Are you either have to be rich, a bitch or funny?

spk_0 Rich, a bitch or funny.

spk_0 Okay, that tracks her.

spk_0 Right.

spk_0

spk_0 So...

spk_0 Did Adrianna's funny?

spk_0 I don't think she's that funny.

spk_0 That's the problem.

spk_0 I think she's much too serious in all of her talking heads.

spk_0 She kind of...

spk_0 Especially the season is getting me down.

spk_0 Yeah, no.

spk_0 She has been a downer, especially in this second half of the season.

spk_0 I still love her.

spk_0 I think she's necessary energy on that show.

spk_0 But who from Miami, do you...

spk_0 Like, who's your number one from Miami?

spk_0 I mean, I actually really liked Stephanie this year.

spk_0 And I think the...

spk_0 The entire season.

spk_0 From the moment she walked on the scene, you liked her.

spk_0 Well, she definitely brought the bitch part and the rich part.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 So, we're two out of my three, right?

spk_0 The rich and the bitch part is like,

spk_0 if you are going to be a housewife,

spk_0 you either have to have like a private jet

spk_0 or like give fabulous parties

spk_0 or do something that is making me watch you

spk_0 or bring the drama,

spk_0 or if you're not rich or a bitch,

spk_0 you should be very funny, right?

spk_0 Like, I think she's bringing a couple of the things to the table.

spk_0 She's not funny.

spk_0 But I did appreciate that she got right in there.

spk_0 And her, the first thing that she said,

spk_0 really like pissed off Alexia immediately.

spk_0 And you don't want to do that.

spk_0 And then...

spk_0 So, I kind of appreciated that she brought so much drama

spk_0 to her first season.

spk_0 I waffle with her because she can be inseparable.

spk_0 But she also, I feel like,

spk_0 did bring a necessary new kind of juice to the cast.

spk_0 So, I think that she did a good job.

spk_0 She got on my nerves sometimes though.

spk_0 The whole jet thing, like, I get it,

spk_0 but she brought it up too much.

spk_0 And they call her out for it, which is fine.

spk_0 I just don't think she needed to bring it up that much

spk_0 and then with the whole seating chart on the...

spk_0 And then there was a fight where she got up

spk_0 and crying from the table.

spk_0 And it's like, you're on housewives.

spk_0 You're going to fight at dinner.

spk_0 Yeah, I didn't really get that.

spk_0 I mean, I liked that it gave her that bonding moment

spk_0 with Marisol and Alexia.

spk_0 I didn't really get what her sort of like...

spk_0 Although you're in another country,

spk_0 sort of like you're American shouting and spain.

spk_0 Like, it's so unbrained, right?

spk_0 It's just sort of like, I would be embarrassed too

spk_0 and walk out.

spk_0 She clearly is someone who like travels

spk_0 and is, you know, in the world.

spk_0 And it would be embarrassing.

spk_0 But all those people in that restaurant

spk_0 were probably paid extras, right?

spk_0 So, they've really been people in those scenes.

spk_0 Not in the big trips.

spk_0 It's just regular people in the ruining their dinner.

spk_0 Yeah, but I don't love it.

spk_0 I would be embarrassed.

spk_0 I would run out crying.

spk_0 I love when they get the reactions of the real people.

spk_0 The laymen just sitting there.

spk_0 Yeah, I mean, I would be embarrassed.

spk_0 Would I run out crying?

spk_0 I'd probably run out crying.

spk_0 I'd be a terrible housewife.

spk_0 I'd probably run out crying of every interaction

spk_0 of all time.

spk_0 I think I'm too sensitive to be a real housewife.

spk_0 So, but, you know, I did think she came out.

spk_0 She had a nice moment of Marisol and Alexia

spk_0 reminded herself that she shouldn't be sad

spk_0 because she is a private jet.

spk_0 And then it was fine.

spk_0 You're giving Lisa energy.

spk_0 Lisa who?

spk_0 Don't say Barlow.

spk_0 No, Hawks team.

spk_0 Barlow energy.

spk_0 Oh my god, no.

spk_0 If you gave Lisa Barlow energy,

spk_0 we wouldn't be sitting here right now.

spk_0 There you are.

spk_0 We'll get to that.

spk_0 Oh, Lisa, Hawks team energy is in.

spk_0 I want friends to be rich.

spk_0 Yes, you want to be friends with her

spk_0 for the fucking private jet.

spk_0 I don't.

spk_0 I want to watch her on TV for the private jet.

spk_0 Okay, but if she were...

spk_0 I would never go into private jet.

spk_0 If she were to slide in your DMs and be like,

spk_0 Hey, her's you're on the podcast.

spk_0 You want to come on the jet?

spk_0 You would pack that bag in five seconds.

spk_0 I would absolutely not because I have a rule

spk_0 which is that I'll never go on a plane with someone

spk_0 who's more famous than me.

spk_0 Because if we crash,

spk_0 I'm not even going to make any kind of headline.

spk_0 And that, you should know my rule about that.

spk_0 It's really upsetting that you don't.

spk_0 I could see the headline.

spk_0 Stephanie from Real House,

spk_0 I said, Miami dead in private jet crash.

spk_0 Friend found with saggy eyelids.

spk_0 Stephanie from Real House was like,

spk_0 Miami dead in private jet.

spk_0 Sheep old and half the way also killed.

spk_0 But the plus side is,

spk_0 you wouldn't have to worry about your eyelids anymore.

spk_0 Thank you, right.

spk_0 That is a silver lining to my own death.

spk_0 You're right.

spk_0 Stephanie, if you're listening,

spk_0 invite me on your private jet.

spk_0 There you go.

spk_0 Come on, Steph.

spk_0 Well, since we,

spk_0 Jen didn't get to a chance to catch up on OC

spk_0 from this week,

spk_0 so we can't really discuss Tamara's Spring-Fling.

spk_0 Should we just talk generally about what's been going on on OC

spk_0 since the, as of this recording,

spk_0 I haven't seen the Spring-Fling.

spk_0 So how are you feeling about this season?

spk_0 Since this is our first episode,

spk_0 and we haven't talked about it yet.

spk_0 I think that they thought that they were going to have

spk_0 a tamer takedown season.

spk_0 And Katie came in and did her thing

spk_0 and kind of gotten the way of that,

spk_0 and they got Katie out of the way,

spk_0 and then they thought they were still going to do the tamer takedown,

spk_0 and it's not working.

spk_0 So Katie is just without any explanation gone forever.

spk_0 Correct? Is that like...

spk_0 She comes up next...

spk_0 She tamer films with her next week.

spk_0 Okay.

spk_0 Because last week's episodes

spk_0 where they went on their separate trips,

spk_0 and then reunited after their separate trips,

spk_0 like everybody just sort of like...

spk_0 No one even talked about Katie.

spk_0 Katie is just sort of excised from the world of OC Housewives.

spk_0 She has been removed, and that is like it.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 So, and because she committed the Cardinal Sin

spk_0 of making no one want to film with her, right?

spk_0 Well, so what is your take on this?

spk_0 Do you think that they had a real reason

spk_0 not to want to film with Katie?

spk_0 I mean, it's hard to say, like,

spk_0 clearly nobody trusted Katie, right?

spk_0 But do you think that she did anything

spk_0 that was so extreme that it would require...

spk_0 It would lead to her not being able to film with the group?

spk_0 No, I don't.

spk_0 Okay, great.

spk_0 I agree with that.

spk_0 I don't, because I think that I think the reason

spk_0 that they don't want to film with her is

spk_0 because she's like a newer housewife,

spk_0 and they can flex on her and say,

spk_0 we're just not going to film with her and be united,

spk_0 because they all do way worse things to each other all the time,

spk_0 and they film, and they continue to film with each other.

spk_0 She just didn't have the history with them

spk_0 to earn those little sort of like, betrayals, right?

spk_0 She went into hot too fast.

spk_0 Last season?

spk_0 Last season or this season?

spk_0 Both, because she didn't ever establish trust with anyone.

spk_0 Like last season, she did the same stuff.

spk_0 I think she was always hunting for her storyline

spk_0 to make her kind of relevant,

spk_0 and then she didn't establish trust with anyone.

spk_0 And also, she wasn't fun or funny enough.

spk_0 And honestly, like, they forgive anyone if they're fun.

spk_0 I wouldn't say that the OC cast is the fun cast though.

spk_0 But I mean, you know, Shannon,

spk_0 poor Shannon is such a mess.

spk_0 Poor Shannon?

spk_0 Well, she's such a mess.

spk_0 I mean, poor Shannon in having to get through life.

spk_0 Like, it's...

spk_0 How do you get through the heart?

spk_0 Dad is filthy rich.

spk_0 But did he just give her any money?

spk_0 She lives in rented houses.

spk_0 I don't know.

spk_0 Her financials, I mean, we know that she was sued for $75,000,

spk_0 because she borrowed money to get a piece of money.

spk_0 How about if he's lived?

spk_0 If anyone would like to lend me $75,000 to get a piece of money?

spk_0 I think that...

spk_0 I think Shannon gets a lot of passes.

spk_0 Look, there's a lot of fire with Shannon about...

spk_0 Katie filmed her.

spk_0 Should she have filmed her?

spk_0 Probably not.

spk_0 Would I have done it?

spk_0 Maybe.

spk_0 I mean, Shannon obviously is a lunatic.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And like goes off behind the scenes.

spk_0 We know what happened with Joel Kembouster on Love Hotel.

spk_0 And for some reason, she continually gets protected.

spk_0 Yeah, I think it's because she has a history with these women.

spk_0 That that's not...

spk_0 You can't continually blow up and treat people like shit

spk_0 and everyone covers for you.

spk_0 Well, you have, of course, they all do it for each other.

spk_0 Tamara blows up all the time and they cover her.

spk_0 No one covers for Tamara.

spk_0 Tamara's literally the villain every season.

spk_0 But they forgive her because she's fun.

spk_0 No, I don't know.

spk_0 Nobody...

spk_0 See, the thing is, did Tamara go about Shannon's alcohol

spk_0 whatever she has when she drove into a house the correct way?

spk_0 Probably not.

spk_0 She was probably too aggressive about it.

spk_0 However, should other people have maybe had more of like

spk_0 holding Shannon's feet to the fire rather than coddling her?

spk_0 She's a fucking grown-ass woman.

spk_0 No, I agree.

spk_0 When I say poor Shannon.

spk_0

spk_0 Lied, she tried to flee the scene of that.

spk_0 That's the thing that wasn't really delved in.

spk_0 They didn't delve into like how what she actually did in that crash.

spk_0 Oh, of course.

spk_0 It was...well, I mean, she did.

spk_0 Right, and we kind of just treat her like she's a fucking child.

spk_0 No, I guess I mean poor Shannon in the sense that like...

spk_0 It doesn't seem easy to be her.

spk_0 Like, it seems...it doesn't seem happy.

spk_0 She has never seemed happy.

spk_0 What does she do it to herself?

spk_0 Yes, but like, don't you feel bad for people who are such a mess

spk_0 they do it to themselves?

spk_0 No.

spk_0 It's almost better when other people do it to you.

spk_0 Because then you're like...

spk_0 No, but isn't that exhausting for the people around?

spk_0 Like, you shouldn't be so exhausting to everybody around you

spk_0 and be able to continuously get away with it.

spk_0 Like, she does.

spk_0 On that show, whereas when you have someone like Tamara who's putting in the work and trying to like create actual conversations and story and make her the villain.

spk_0 Like, I think that Shannon...

spk_0 You can't keep making excuses.

spk_0 Like, obviously she drinks a lot.

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 And obviously she has a temper and she treats people beneath her off camera.

spk_0 And it's been allowed for a very long time.

spk_0 And I don't understand why she keeps getting passes.

spk_0 And I think Katy filming her while it broke privacy, I think it was one of those things where it was like...

spk_0 Someone should see this, like, the world?

spk_0 Someone should see this.

spk_0 Like, why do she need to act like this towards people?

spk_0 Well, you and I agree that we don't think Katie should have been sort of like taken down.

spk_0 No, it's crazy.

spk_0 Basically, I mean, she'll never get another season.

spk_0 No one will film with her.

spk_0 That's it.

spk_0 No, I don't, I disagree with you. I think you think they're gonna bring her back.

spk_0 I think the reunion is make her break for Katie. I think she has an opportunity to come back.

spk_0 How? How does she build trust with these women that makes her want them want to film with her again?

spk_0 I think it seems even her coming into the show feels like it was such a reach to have her come in as

spk_0 like a friend of Gina's right? They weren't like friends. Yeah, but we can't, you that's housewives in

spk_0 general. Okay, but she doesn't have relationships with anybody and they came in hot and it doesn't

spk_0 serve Gina to keep apologizing for her when she keeps sort of like. But Gina doesn't need to

spk_0 apologize for her. But I mean, Gina's, if you, if you actually look at the history and the

spk_0 thing and depending on who you believe, Gina was the one who kind of pushed her as a newbie to come

spk_0 in and call out Heather for the paparazzi stuff. Right. Is what she's saying. And I believe that.

spk_0 You believe Heather called paparazzi? No, I believe that Gina told Katie you should bring this up on

spk_0 camera. Got it. Okay. Which, which you go after Heather to bro, you really got to, you got to

spk_0 hit. I wouldn't go after Heather to bro. I'd like to be invited to one of her sleepovers.

spk_0 They look so fun. And then they woke up and they the way that that man looked at them when they

spk_0 wanted to order those eggs. Oh, he's still just served them fucking omelets. Like, I don't care

spk_0 that you want your eggs over hard. To be fair, it is a real criminal thing to order an omelet,

spk_0 well done, and eggs over hard. I mean, what is going on with these people?

spk_0 You have a private chef and you're ordering your eggs over hard. Yeah. I mean, a microwave could do that.

spk_0 Never microwaved an egg in my life. That's worse than a microwave to make a bite.

spk_0 But so I think Katie, I think one, the women obviously have seen fan reaction online and they know

spk_0 that a lot of the fans are on Katie's side. To I think that they're watching back now and seeing

spk_0 Gretchen's lies coming out in real time on the show and they're thinking, oh, fuck, Gretchen is a

spk_0 fucking operator. Liar. Like, and she'll literally say something on camera. And then the next scene

spk_0 say I never said that. That's crazy. That's what I really never have understood about any of the

spk_0 housewives who get caught in lies because don't they know everything is on tape? That to me

spk_0 doesn't ever make any sense. So like effortlessly, it's nuts. Well, I think that you think that Katie

spk_0 has an opportunity in the reunion. 100%. If you were Katie, what would you do in the reunion?

spk_0 Well, I've already said this, but I will say here, I think that she needs to go in there and

spk_0 just blow it up. I think Katie plays too passive as a housewife on the show. I think she needs to

spk_0 fight fire with fire and really like fight back. I think she needs to be a grip come in aggressively

spk_0 and tell them off with receipts. Well, I think she just needs to tell them off. Like when Shannon got

spk_0 up and yelled at her at Heather's birthday party and Katie was like, you left your girl cheese,

spk_0 I would have fucking stood up to and fodder. She stays too chill to calm. She needs to she needs to go

spk_0 forward. Go for it. It is strange that she says so chill and calm because if she's doing all of this

spk_0 operating behind the scenes to sort of talk to bloggers and talk to and get the dirt and whatever.

spk_0 Like if she's in it as much as she like putting her foot in it as much as it's seen they're all

spk_0 upset about her doing, she's really then not able in a direct confrontation to hang with a housewife.

spk_0 Right? Like she's not able to have a fight and fire back which is a real

spk_0 environment. But I think she has it in her. I think she has it in her. Do you want to give her

spk_0 housewife training before Katie if you're listening? Do you want housewife training for me? No,

spk_0 I mean we interviewed her on two T's in a pod and we I had a conversation with her and she

spk_0 she's so nice. And did you tell her she needs what she needs to do? She is beautiful, really beautiful.

spk_0 I did tell her what she needs to do. We just had a conversation and she met with Tamra for lunch

spk_0 this week. Okay. On the show. Yeah. No. Well she met with she no this week in real life they met.

spk_0 They went to lunch. Tamra posted about it. And they filmed her reunion next week. So we'll see

spk_0 what happens. Well I'm very excited. I hope she takes your advice. Why didn't give her advice?

spk_0 Okay. Well her advice your advice that is out in the ether. I hope she takes that advice.

spk_0 Well let's get to the best franchises God has ever created. Oh my God Salt Lake City. Why are you so

spk_0 good? They just don't miss. They don't miss. So we've had three episodes. Yes. The first episode

spk_0 which who names these episodes? You have a lot more housewife sort of knowledge than I do

spk_0 because they really missed a trick on naming that first episode. They named it like hot dogs

spk_0 in some shit right like not good. That was a I don't I never look at the episode title. Oh I

spk_0 I look at the episode titles and that one was Blair Bitch project. I mean that how did they not

spk_0 name it Blair Bitch project? Like the whole thing is a spoof of Blair Witch project. Oh that is so

spk_0 that's so good. I mean should I be naming housewives episodes? Yes. They had the cameras and

spk_0 everything they're all wandering around screaming in the woods and they call it hot dogs and the

spk_0 heart breaks or whatever the fuck they call it. I mean ridiculous. I someone who loves horror films I

spk_0 appreciate what they were doing there but I thought it went on a little bit too much. Like we know

spk_0 they're not in danger as Meredith said they're not bravo is not gonna let them die in the woods.

spk_0 There was nothing like I thought they were gonna do a prank and then the prank never happened. I

spk_0 thought all of a sudden we were gonna have like an actor. Oh I see. An actor be the you know. I see

spk_0 the this cast to me is so even Lisa Barlow who makes my blood boil in such a rageful way that

spk_0 probably isn't healthy. I still she's necessary. She's really great for the show. Right.

spk_0 Honestly first of all let's talk about the elephant in the room with her this season which is the

spk_0 eye makeup in her. Well she addresses her life. She just said it's a smoky eye that didn't fully

spk_0 like she has to blame her makeup girl but she said she she forgives her. I know but doesn't it

spk_0 just look like bad bad Botox? Maybe it was maybe she had a little Botox that went bad. I've had it

spk_0 I've had a bad Botox situation. If my husband is listening to this I've never had Botox and I'm

spk_0 lying right now but like otherwise I've had he's listening to this. You're right he's never gonna

spk_0 listen to this. It's like listening to NPR somewhere. So my husband said to me a few like a year ago

spk_0 he goes I don't want you ever to get Botox. And you said okay. What do you mean? And he goes it

spk_0 just looks so unnatural. Please promise me you'll never get Botox. And then I had to look at this man

spk_0 that I love so much and say I promise. And that is the only lie I've ever told him. So now I get

spk_0 secret Botox that he doesn't know what I that I get. It's the only secret I have from him but I

spk_0 had been getting Botox for so many years before he said I should never get Botox and he didn't want

spk_0 to break it to him. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So it's their one secret. This can't be a social media

spk_0 clip. No you can he's an ununsocial media. You can put it on social media. The one time he opens

spk_0 Instagram would probably be the first thing they sell him. That's secret. Jim secret Botox. Yeah I do

spk_0 get secret Botox and one time my secret Botox resulted in a slight drippy lid for like you know like

spk_0 a week or two. And I just had to tell him I had a minor stroke you know like a normal person.

spk_0 Just a little bell policy happens to the best of us. But yes so I thought it might be a I thought

spk_0 Lisa Barlow's I think might be just like a touch of the a touch of the droop. But maybe it was

spk_0 like I make up in which case that but you know it's because her glam her makeup artist works

spk_0 every day even when she's not filming is that true. I mean that's what she says. Do you believe

spk_0 that though who gets claimed every day. Okay I do believe it about Lisa Barlow because do you

spk_0 remember I don't remember if it was last season or the season before where they told her she couldn't

spk_0 have glam and she lost her mind. Yes because I mean yes so it was at trixies. Yes at trixies. So

spk_0 I do believe that someone who can't look at camera. I think she this is a woman who believes

spk_0 she's on camera every day. She's very big and important. That didn't you hear her say how

spk_0 her life is unlike anybody else's life. Oh my god is she the real life Truman show. I mean she is

spk_0 living a big important life and she needs to be camera ready at all times for when you know

spk_0 Channing Tatum or whoever comes into her. Oh Steve Carell and Ben Affleck and first of all why is

spk_0 Ben Affleck always brought up in Utah. Like what is there a festival Ben Affleck? I think he's like

spk_0 Mormon adjacent royalty. Is that what it is? I don't know because on the secret house what the secret

spk_0 life is like. They just did commercials talking don't it's commercial together. Oh yeah so I think

spk_0 it's just because he must be he must be he must have cousins that are Mormons or something. I don't

spk_0 know that to be true but like. So the meat of everything that's happening is this lawsuit dismissed

spk_0 party. Oh that party. Which is so Karen Huger coded. Do you remember when Karen Huger did her?

spk_0 Yes. Yes she is recycling a bit of that but I did appreciate that on all of her billboards

spk_0 which did bring me back to like elementary school science fair. I was really appreciate it. I was

spk_0 really appreciative of that little throwback. I did appreciate how just for no reason there would be

spk_0 like a glamorous picture of Lisa doing something for no reason on the lawsuit pictures. It was just

spk_0 she was like you know what? Yes we're gonna be dealing with my lawsuit but also I was once on a

spk_0 yacht. Well it was her she and the picture of her and her husband at the whatever the sports

spk_0 game is that they just went to yeah she is her delusion like we were saying this podcast is about

spk_0 our delusions and having Rallye checked that I don't think it's I think she actually believes

spk_0 her delusions like she's not aware that she's delusion. No I think that's true and I often have

spk_0 said that I would like I think I'd be way further in my career if I just had the delusion if I was

spk_0 just as delusional as one real housewife. Do you know what I mean? We're here for. Yeah and she

spk_0 is as delusional as 10 real housewives like she is singing cabaret all over the place. Do you know

spk_0 what I mean? Like she the world is her cabaret. Like more delusional than Countess Lueanne. Yeah

spk_0 yeah she is the world. Like she makes Countess Lueanne look grounded. She makes Countess Lueanne

spk_0 look like Mariah Carey. Yes. Oh speaking of we have to talk after this about I went to the Mariah Carey

spk_0 Concert this past week so we have to come back to that. We have to be careful there's no Mariah

spk_0 Slander on this podcast. I know I would never do that to you. But Lisa since she came in in

spk_0 season in episode two she just has had this energy of panic. It's like she's constantly I'm

spk_0 gonna use a sports analogy. What? Oh my god. She's like a quarterback that is constantly in nerve

spk_0 of being sacked. Well I couldn't even get it out. You were like oh my god. But I know this about

spk_0 football. So like when a quarterback is like cornered and he's about to be sacked it's like that panic

spk_0 of what you even know the word sacked. Well you know it's kind of sexual. Okay okay got it. So that's

spk_0 what I feel like her vibe is on coming in on these past two episodes she's just constantly

spk_0 and panic about like being tackled and being taken down that she is like just spiraling.

spk_0 Which is never good. No I mean it does feel pretty frantic. The whole her energy is kind of

spk_0 pretty frantic. Also I'm you know her not being part of the first episode of the season is just

spk_0 setting you up for being the topic that everyone talks about right? Like you can't be absent

spk_0 whenever once together and expect no one to talk shit about you can you? No she had to have known

spk_0 I think she was trying to hold out for more money at that. I know she said she was working but I

spk_0 personally think that she was she wanted more money. She said she was at a premiere part in. She's

spk_0 always at a fucking premiere. She talks about the all these celebrities we ain't seen a damn one. I

spk_0 know and also like premiere part like what you just provide alcohol for a premiere party and you can

spk_0 be there. Alcohol that let's be free. No I have looked for Vita tequila like I would it does it

spk_0 even exist outside of Salt Lake City. So do we think that the business stuff these these lawsuits

spk_0 are from Vita Tequila? Does she have another business that I don't know about? She has her party

spk_0 planning event business that's like what she does all the Sundance events which I think is a

spk_0 viable legitimate business like she's been doing Sundance events before the show even started.

spk_0 So that's just what all the premiere parties are it's just party planner. Right. So she's the

spk_0 an event party planner for the I don't I couldn't even tell you don't know. Well I think that first of

spk_0 all all the dismissed stuff and then I love the way she would just like interchange was interchanging

spk_0 denied a denial and dismissed. No my favorite part of the whole thing was she brings them there

spk_0 prints out these things and then she goes ask me anything and then they ask and she goes that's

spk_0 none of your fucking business. Oh, Lisa Barlow. She's insane. I'm not an insane person. I really

spk_0 respected it. But it's what I'm saying she makes me so angry but I'm like oh you need

spk_0 she need this person on this television show. You absolutely need her she is going to provide

spk_0 so much for us to talk about. And and Brittany is okay in small tiny like one milligram

spk_0 dosage. We need micro doses of Brittany right she's like a shroom like just micro doses of

spk_0 Brittany. I can't even micro dose. I have to say and I think it's because first of all it's

spk_0 very difficult when you have someone who doesn't know what an announcement is. No well that's the

spk_0 thing. She got last season she did her little announcement thing and it maybe was organic for her

spk_0 and she saw that the fans like loved it and then she tried to recreate it this season and you can't

spk_0 do that. No. You can't recreate something like that and we'll get to survive. I hate so we're

spk_0 going to get to survivor next and then we'll talk about that but I don't I hate a reality

spk_0 person who comes in and tries to make things happen rather than just letting them happen. Right.

spk_0 And there's somebody on survivor who does that and I cannot stand it. I'm excited to hear what you

spk_0 think. Let's wrap up Salt Lake City. Yeah. Heather Gay is my queen. I love her so much. She is the

spk_0 perfect narrator for Salt Lake City and has been serving it for seasons. She's funny. She doesn't

spk_0 bring the other things that I really appreciate which is rich and a bitch but I think she's so

spk_0 funny and so like so able to narrate perfectly what is happening with everybody else that I love her

spk_0 so much. She is a little bit too faced this season already going to. This season. Okay. She plays

spk_0 all sides. How do we now have any of the same favorite housewives? She is a little bit of a

spk_0 vagina when it comes to Lisa Barlow. If I were sitting across from somebody and they said my life

spk_0 is so different than yours I would have a visceral reaction and let them have it. Okay but I think

spk_0 she found it amusing. Yeah but we're on housewives. But then she just talks about it in her talking

spk_0 head. What I think is fun is that she's like okay your life is so different than mine that's fine

spk_0 and then she can make fun of it. I think I think she's setting herself up for a joke in her talking

spk_0 head which I respect. Yeah I would rather just do it in in the moment then. What are you going to

spk_0 say to someone who honestly thinks that they're so big and important and you're going to tell them

spk_0 they're not? Yeah. I never going to happen. I think that she understands what she's dealing with

spk_0 and she's like this will be fun to make fun of later. I don't know. You know those friends

spk_0 that you have and you're like no one's going to tell them anything. Like why should I even try

spk_0 but I thought the two faceness is her sort of pretending that she doesn't agree with any of it

spk_0 at that lunch and then even at the at the dismissal presentation you could tell that she

spk_0 was not on Lisa's side about it but she presented to Lisa like she was. I agree with you when it comes

spk_0 to Heather that she's a great narrator. She's an amazing ability to kind of tell the story and

spk_0 do the through line the threading of it all for us. I don't think that I think she can be

spk_0 funny herself but I don't think she has a sense of humor when it comes to her. So I don't think she's

spk_0 able to I like I don't think she's able to let things go. I think when somebody does something

spk_0 in her she instead internalizes it and then it's passive reciprotals. Like she is with Bronwyn.

spk_0 Which is sad because Bronwyn has been I think Bronwyn is a really good housewife.

spk_0 Amazing. And she can read people. She's really she really is a really has like a sharp sense of

spk_0 like what people what the bullshit is in this moment. She's funny in her talking heads and her

spk_0 fashion is ridiculous. Well I think we're about to get Bronwyn big I think Lisa Barlow is going to

spk_0 bring up that fact that she's been accused of gram theft larceny. She has. Yeah and sealed

spk_0 records. In sealed records. They've been sealed. How do you know about this? Well Reddit figures out

spk_0 everything Jennifer. Really? So I think that Lisa Barlow is going to bring that up. Wow. Okay.

spk_0 I'm excited for that. We'll talk more about the housewives next week. Let's jump in the survivor

spk_0 real quick because this is you know guys we have a lot to worry. Just have a lot to talk about.

spk_0 So thanks for listening. But survivor has been two episodes of season 49 and who are you liking

spk_0 right off the top? Well I I like Nate a lot. He's the sort of dad guy like this sort of

spk_0 older producer. The producer. Hollywood producer dad. Look at us loving the same survive.

spk_0 Is that your favorite? I love him. I love him. Yeah. I love the way he's sort of like I don't

spk_0 know what any of these kids are doing but I'm just going to be like I mean he just seems like a good

spk_0 guy. So maybe that's what I like about him. I also like Jason who's like the alternate.

spk_0 Oh he has no personality yet. No well that's you so Jason this is so survivor the editor sometimes

spk_0 I want to punch them in the face. The fact that we don't know anything about Jason he's had like

spk_0 maybe one half of a talking head. He's going far. 100%. He's 100% going far. He's so good at puzzles.

spk_0 So good at puzzles. And we don't know we haven't seen him. They've given him literally 30 seconds

spk_0 of camera time. I think the problem though now that this now that the episodes the seasons are so

spk_0 sure and the episodes are not as long you don't see as much of everybody there's no reward challenges

spk_0 anymore. Like there's a lot that I have problems with. Please the reward challenges are the best

spk_0 and the the auction they need to do the auction. They need to do the auction again. But I do think that

spk_0 Jason just coming out and saying like I was on the mat in the first day like I was a I was a first

spk_0 I was an alternate. I just found out less than 24 hours ago. I was going to be here like immediately

spk_0 made me love him so much. He feels kind of like a voice of the audience like a fan just a super

spk_0 fan showing up. I think that's a story that they want to tell too is like look at this. He was

spk_0 an alternate and he made it so far or even wins. I would love it if he wants. I like him so far.

spk_0 Who who who other than those two are you liking? Oh gosh. I oh I do like I do like Michelle. Oh MC

spk_0 that's what they're calling her right? Yeah I like her a lot. I like that she was in on she new like

spk_0 oh they're asking me to come in but like if I'm the fourth I'm not the bottom of the floor.

spk_0 I mean I like her I like what she's doing there. I don't mind Steven I think he's likeable.

spk_0 He's Steven is almost hearing aids right? Yes. Yeah I think he's likeable.

spk_0 I'll tell you who I can't stand. Wait can I? Oh you know what I I do love Joanne. I love

spk_0 Joanne. I love that he won and chose to do the try. I think he played it really right. I think that

spk_0 they made who Joanne got the uh you got the advantage. He took the team advantage. Is that

spk_0 your time out? Who got the idol though? Oh Alex got the idol. Alex got the idol. I was good

spk_0 that's amount of different training thoughts. Sorry. Yeah Alex got the idol. I um think thank goodness

spk_0 that he got that advantage for his team because I don't think he would have still been around if he

spk_0 hadn't gotten the advantage for his team. They were ready to cut him loose. Yeah. And it's always

spk_0 so hard for me to see like the ones that like the one who went home spoiler if you haven't watched

spk_0 this week's episode coming up. The woman Annie who went home this past episode was one of those

spk_0 characters that you always know is going home really quickly because they always say something

spk_0 in their talking head like I'm running this whole show. Yeah no one knows I'm a puppet master

spk_0 and then it should always just immediately cut to them getting every single vote and being voted

spk_0 out because it happens every single time every time people have no hubris and don't know that

spk_0 they're not running the whole show they were voted out immediately so we all saw that coming.

spk_0 That's one of the things where I think the producers on Survivor get involved. That's what I was

spk_0 going to bring up is because there was no way Alex was going to use his idol to save her. No.

spk_0 And that he said it in his confessional and I think they were just like look we know this is

spk_0 vote is going to go the way it's going but for the viewers sake can we please at least try to add

spk_0 some tension and say that oh maybe I'll use the idol to say like that was never going to happen.

spk_0 No I do think that he might have been trying he made this decision before he went in that he

spk_0 wanted to find like a mom figure to have an unlikely you know unlikely alliance. Yeah I don't really

spk_0 like it when they go in with a game plan of like I'm going to have an unlikely alliance that's my

spk_0 game plan going in. You mean about Jake who came in and said oh we have a bromance you met him

spk_0 five seconds. I think he just saw a meat shield in some kind of way right then he's I joke can we

spk_0 is Jake are we naming him the person we like the least this season. I know. So much you can't call

spk_0 yourself the shoe bandit and just start a thing. I fucking hate him. It's like people who give

spk_0 themselves their own nickname. You loser. I can't give yourself your own nickname. And I think I don't

spk_0 know if casting personally purposely cast these mussely buffed meathead guys to be this but like I

spk_0 always find myself not enjoying them. Well I think casting has to they went a different way

spk_0 for several seasons and season 46 had this which was why it was such a terrible season which is

spk_0 that it was all just super fans of the show who were like really weak and sort of like

spk_0 unable to do any of the physical stuff and like really not competing on the level that like old

spk_0 survivor players where you were like oh my god they're incredible at every like a pausier like

spk_0 and so then they went away from that. Well people were also scared to be the villain because of

spk_0 social media backlash. Yeah which would I get it. I don't like it when I think anyone's mad at me

spk_0 let alone the whole internet but I mean I think that they've now found Jake and he is fully throwing

spk_0 himself into the sort of meathead category. If he makes it one vote past the merge it will be

spk_0 a miracle and we know in this new modern era survivor the merge happens like 30 seconds after

spk_0 season begins so I don't know I don't I don't think you're gonna have to be annoyed by Jake

spk_0 for very long. Uh please someone needs a take of one of those fucking shoes and shove it up Jake's

spk_0 ashes. That's what I think. That's a survivor request. The only other thing with survivor I think

spk_0 I wanted to ask you is how do you feel about Rizzo cheating? Um wait remind me about him cheating.

spk_0 He went away. He went with Alex and Alex had finished the puzzle first yes. Yeah I think it's

spk_0 hate that. I don't like it but when do they not they they they know it's part of the game so much

spk_0 that usually on the puzzles they have a cloth that will let you cover it. Yes I know. They didn't

spk_0 have that in this season. I think it's bullshit though. Well it's bullshit but it's also like

spk_0 and then he comes back and they're celebrating him for what? He didn't do anything but cheat and then

spk_0 dig fast. Did he say that he cheated when he came back? Yeah I mean listen I feel about Rizzo

spk_0 I sort of his immigrant story really hit for me. I felt like okay this is a kid who's like I

spk_0 mean he's a little skinny kid. He's calling himself the Riz like I know you're saying me criticizing

spk_0 him makes me like a member of ice. Yes. It's what you're saying. Thanks a lot. I would never say that

spk_0 but I do. I do think that Rizzo is listen he's not good at puzzles. He knows he's not good at

spk_0 puzzles. He didn't want to lose for his team. He cheated. Alex you know it was fair game. It was

spk_0 there Alex didn't mess up the puzzle so he couldn't cheat. I think. Which you can. So if you had to

spk_0 pick at this point who would who do you think is going to win? I'm like a Nate and Jason

spk_0 right this minute but I don't even know if we've met the I don't know if we've really and maybe

spk_0 for that reason that you were saying we haven't focused in on who is going to win yet. I don't think

spk_0 they would do that. So yeah those are my my my favorites you. Yeah I there are my favorites as well.

spk_0 I do love Sophie because she's bananas. Which Sophie? The Latina girl. Oh yeah. I love her. She's

spk_0 crazy. I enjoy that energy. I forget what my girl's name was the girl. Carolyn. No the dark hair

spk_0 girl. She was a real skinny. I loved her. She was maybe two seasons ago. I don't remember her name

spk_0 but I love that character. Like just a girl who's there to fuck shit up. I love it.

spk_0 Okay before this you know this is our first podcast so we don't know. Yeah guys we're just

spk_0 going with the flow. So one thing about Jen and I is that I love pop music. It's one of my favorite

spk_0 things in the world. She will tell us about her Mariah Carey experience after we do what I'm

spk_0 calling the culture popped quiz because Jennifer knows nothing about any musical pop culture at all

spk_0 and I am obsessed with all things music charts everything. So just a few questions for you today Jen.

spk_0 Okay I would just like to clarify it's not just music pop culture I don't know about. I just don't

spk_0 know who's famous anymore. All right well then I'll start throwing in TikTok stars in these but for

spk_0 this week this this is all music. Okay related. Okay so which two female rappers got into a

spk_0 nasty X battle this week. Do you even know any female rappers names? Yes. Okay I'm in a guess.

spk_0 Okay. Glowrilla. No just because you just saw Glowrilla at the heart festival. I just saw Glowrilla.

spk_0 Okay. The only one you know. No. Cardi B. Correct. Okay is that is that one of them? Okay yes.

spk_0 Cardi B and there's literally come on. What do you mean there's literally sometimes when you're

spk_0 having a quiz your brain goes I didn't I wasn't told to study for this. Well that's the point.

spk_0 Cardi B and okay I don't know this who is the Nicki Minaj. Oh I would have said Nicki Minaj

spk_0 if I had remembered. Yeah and look it up because it was nasty. Why what was that? Oh they were going

spk_0 after each other's kids it was bad. Okay. Really bad. But to be fair I think Glowrilla is Cardi B's

spk_0 cousin. Is it we need to get a fact check on that I don't know I honestly don't know. Okay what

spk_0 artist released her 12th album this week the life of a showgirl? Oh ding ding ding ding ding I do

spk_0 know this one Taylor Swift. Do you would be a swifty? I'm not a swifty although they say that like

spk_0 70% of the country is swifties which I think might be the only thing that he likes us. Okay.

spk_0 Maybe because we're all asleep when we listen to our music. Okay finish the lyric. Uh-huh.

spk_0 I get wet at the thought of you being a responsible guy treating me like you're supposed to tears run

spk_0 down my. I? No. Yes. Yes. Dirty. It's dirty. I love it. Uh so bonus points if you can name the song

spk_0 and the artist. Is this going to be one of those people I've never heard their name before?

spk_0 If you have not heard her name you really really should think about your life's choices.

spk_0 Okay. Just give me the first. Oh. Oh. Um. Okay. It is. She's coming to Los Angeles to do a concert.

spk_0 And wow. Not not the very rare event of coming to Los Angeles to do a concert. Very few

spk_0 musical artists ever come to Los Angeles to a concert. If you like her so much that you don't know

spk_0 her name. But you just give me her for the first letter of her name. What did Jesus do

spk_0 as a job? Oh. Reach. Okay. So Jen doesn't even know pop culture going back to BC times. Wait

spk_0 are you talking about? What did Jesus do as a job? Carpenter? Yes.

spk_0 Okay. Does it help you? Is she even alive? I don't think so. I think there was a document. I

spk_0 think there was sort of like one of those movies had after school movies about her when we were kids.

spk_0 Wow. I don't know how I failed you so much as a gay man. Eliza Carpenter? Is that a person?

spk_0 Oh no. Such as someone I went to high school with. Oh my god. Sabrina Carpenter. I don't know.

spk_0 This is this segment is called pop culture. It's very telling. But should be carpenter.

spk_0 It doesn't know who anyone is. Alex. Do you know who Sabrina Alex is? Jen's husband. He's in

spk_0 the kitchen trying to make his little noises possible. Do you know? He says he absolutely don't know

spk_0 who Sabrina Carpenter is. Hot singer. There you go. Hot singer. All you gotta be is a straight man

spk_0 to know who Sabrina Carpenter is. I'm gonna bone up on my Sabrina Carpenter for next. What?

spk_0 Cindy Swing is an actress even I know that. Okay. Well obviously your husband has a type that is

spk_0 not you. Well we're gonna discuss that next week. Well you will. Actually I'm gonna be discussing

spk_0 that all week long. When Jen returns to this podcast next week with new boobs in a blonde wig.

spk_0 You'll know why. So that's gonna be it for us kids. Matt this has been so fun. Oh.

spk_0 One of the best things about this podcast is that I get to see you all the time and we get to

spk_0 discuss our favorite things. Yes and some of our non-favorite things like bagel bites. Yeah that's

spk_0 big boot for us. Sorry but we'll be back next week guys so we'll see you then. Thanks for listening. Bye.

Bagel Bites & Secret Botox

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