77// 3 Money Mindsets to Teach to your Kids: Powerful and Practical! with Emily Holthaus from Raising Little Millionaires

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 How comfortable are you talking to and teaching your kids about money?

spk_0 Are you avoiding this? Do you feel like you're doing it wrong?

spk_0 Do you feel like you're doing a good job?

spk_0 Personally, I have a budget podcast. I love budgeting. I have strong values around money

spk_0 and I'm able to stay consistent within my limits to reach my goals.

spk_0 And yet, I don't feel like this is transferring to my kids.

spk_0 I don't feel like I'm doing a good job teaching my kids about money.

spk_0 Therefore, I was so excited to bring on our guest today, Emily Holthaus,

spk_0 founder of Raising Little Millionaires.

spk_0 She has so much knowledge and expertise around kids and money.

spk_0 In fact, we talked and recorded for over two hours.

spk_0 So I broke our conversation down into three separate episodes.

spk_0 And in this first episode, we're going to get into why this is important,

spk_0 how it's easier than you think.

spk_0 And some solid takeaways so that you can get started today,

spk_0 teaching your kids some really positive habits and mindsets around money.

spk_0 But first, if you're new here, I'm Aaron Britt

spk_0 and I help you build budgets and money habits that stick.

spk_0 I guide you to stay consistent, celebrate wins and find flexibility

spk_0 within your personal challenges.

spk_0 Because when you create your budget, you're creating a plan for your best life.

spk_0 That's the budget effect.

spk_0 And this is the budget effect podcast.

spk_0 Welcome in.

spk_0 All right.

spk_0 So Emily, thank you for being here.

spk_0 Thank you so much for joining us on the budget effect podcast.

spk_0 I'm just going to jump right in.

spk_0 I think for many of my listeners, they're still working on their own mindsets

spk_0 and their own methods around money.

spk_0 So my question is, do you think this is doable for them

spk_0 to teach their children about money?

spk_0 And why is it so important for them to get started with this in their homes?

spk_0 Yeah.

spk_0 I would say the answer is absolutely and unequivocally yes to that

spk_0 because in reality, you're teaching your kids about money,

spk_0 whether you're saying money or not, right?

spk_0 Like your kids are learning about money when they see how you respond

spk_0 when they ask for that snack at the grocery store, when they see you get a bill

spk_0 when they want to go do an activity and they are absorbing, right?

spk_0 All of the kind of demeanor and like dispositions that you're demonstrating

spk_0 around money.

spk_0 And honestly, I think the bigger challenge is that money and how

spk_0 car kids orient money and what habits and mindsets they've developed

spk_0 around it is going to be one of the most defining, right?

spk_0 Set of skills and habits that they will have for the rest of their life.

spk_0 And so if we're not talking to our kids about money out of fear,

spk_0 out of whatever, you know, wherever that's coming from,

spk_0 then we're just setting our kids up to be unprepared for a set of skills and habits

spk_0 that is going to like define a lot of their life.

spk_0 And I guess a good example of that really kind of stems from my own personal back story.

spk_0 So growing up, I didn't really learn about money.

spk_0 My parents were lovely while meaning I love my parents very much.

spk_0 They worked very hard to do the best that they could.

spk_0 But I think they didn't have kind of the core financial literacy of themselves.

spk_0 And also to be honest, like that in the 80s, like we didn't have the internet

spk_0 and we didn't talk about the stuff as openly freely as we do now.

spk_0 So that information wasn't quite as accessible.

spk_0 And so how I learned about money was really from two places, right?

spk_0 One from a scarcity mindset and one from just trial and error.

spk_0 And so I would get money from baby sitting or from wherever that may be or my allowance.

spk_0 And I would immediately start thinking about like, great, I have money in now.

spk_0 I don't really know.

spk_0 I don't have much money.

spk_0 I don't know what the next money is coming in.

spk_0 And so like what are all the exciting things I can spend this money in now?

spk_0 And I would just go and spend money.

spk_0 And so what that developed was like a deep consumption habit in me, where it's like money came in.

spk_0 I didn't have a purpose or an intention for it other than to go out and spend it and like do something fun.

spk_0 And like that culminated in me, like buying products from like Avan catalogs in like when I was 12 years old.

spk_0 I had like a whole skincare routine with my baby sitting money at 12 years old and never saved a dime.

spk_0 And so really how that manifested, right?

spk_0 As I got older, I went to college and really just didn't even understand or like hear about investing.

spk_0 I went to college with no savings and I left college with $123 to my name and a whole lot of debt.

spk_0 And then I moved to Chicago and moved to the big city as an early career young 20s, you know, person and had a lot of fun.

spk_0 And then I racked up a lot more consumer debt.

spk_0 And so I found myself in my mid 20s with this deep consumption habit with very little financial literacy about how to budget or make my money work for me.

spk_0 And it landed me in not a great place.

spk_0 And so in my mid 20s, I decided that I needed to kind of flip that script for myself.

spk_0 And I had to do a lot of unlearning and a lot of re learning new habits, mindsets and skills.

spk_0 And throughout my 20s, like work to pull myself out of that debt and set myself back on the path toward financial independence, which was, you know, exciting and motivating to be able to do that for myself.

spk_0 And also I lost right the path those powerful investing years of my 20s.

spk_0 And then when I was about to become a mom and I had, you know, was going to have kids.

spk_0 I wanted my kids to have a different money story and what I wanted more than anything for my kids was for them to be able to live a choice filled life because in so many ways all of that debt that saddled me throughout my 20s.

spk_0 Prevented me from a lot of the choices in my career and in my life that I wanted to make it that time because I had to make the choice to like pull myself out of that like high interest.

spk_0 And I wanted to start my kids and also my background is an education and I have a master's education.

spk_0 I did everything from teaching to school leadership and then I ended up running teaching and learning for a large charter network and then on profit space that I switched into eventually I wrote personal finance curriculum.

spk_0 And I knew that we have state standards that go all the way back to kindergarten for personal finance and my master's is really childhood education.

spk_0 So I knew that kids can start learning about money and age appropriate ways as young as three.

spk_0 So and when I have kids I was like, I got this like we're good like my kids are about to be like financial geniuses and like, you know, they're going to understand everything about money and they're going to have like the best most positive orientation of money ever.

spk_0 And I had kids and I realized that I didn't have time to shower and I couldn't keep my socks straight in my head at one time and that even me who was uniquely qualified to be able to figure out how to teach this to my kids.

spk_0 I couldn't even do it. And so I knew that so many other parents out there right couldn't do it either.

spk_0 If I was struggling to figure it out. So at that time I turned into the personal finance community and I really looked for like, OK, how do I teach positive money habits and mindsets to my kids starting at a very young age.

spk_0 And I just didn't quite find what I was looking for. I found a lot of people who are CPAs and come from a finance background, which is great.

spk_0 And a lot of that conversation was like, how do I open an account and contribute to it. So I can hand my child millions of dollars, right? Or like, how do I like dollar for dollar match their first car like, oh, employ them in my business and get a Roth IRA for them and start building it.

spk_0 And that's all great advice like not to knock that, but it's just things that like take a business and money and a lot of money knowledge to our better suited for older kids.

spk_0 And three, it just wasn't quite what I was looking for. My concern wasn't how do I hand my kids millions of dollars.

spk_0 My concern was if my kids leave my house without a dollar to their name, the same way that I left my house that they're going to have the fight the basic financial knowledge and the positive habits and mindsets orientations around money that they will be able to be successful and lead that choice of life because they will be, you know, deeply knowledgeable of money and how to use it to get what it is that they want the money.

spk_0 So that's why a reason little millionaires is really born right was out of that personal backstory and just me knowing that like there's a there are ways to do this and there are simple ways that busy parents can do this right you don't have to sit down and teach a college level dissertation to your kids about money right you just need to do the things that you're already thinking about doing but do them a little better right like you're already thinking about how to do a piggy bank with your kids.

spk_0 I propose a method that just teaches you to do that better right you're already thinking about allowances for your kids at some point so I just teach you how to do allowances better.

spk_0 And you know how to then kind of scaffold up in the layer and like help your kids start to open their own accounts as they become teenagers and move them from like heavy guidance to like a little bit more independence like what does that actually look like what doesn't look like to teach your kid to budget between starting at three all the way through 18.

spk_0 So just a lot of those like we are laser focused on making sure that everything that we're talking about is easy to fit in the in between of a busy parents actual life because like I have a whole board in front of me that you can't see that is just a patchwork of almost like a true crime level investigation just trying to organize which of my kids are going to which activities on what day and like how's the camp schedule working and all of that.

spk_0 And so you know I definitely understand what it means to be a busy parent and so that's what we're really focused on so I think to really answer like the original question is that number one you're teaching your kids about money whether you mean to or not so you might as well figure out how to do it a little bit better.

spk_0 And then number two this doesn't have to require you to be a financial expert there is so much power and you learning alongside your child and being transparent about that.

spk_0 And then three is that it's actually a lot simpler. I think that a lot of people think that it is like you don't need to teach your kids understand how to optimize their returns in the stock market.

spk_0 You just need to be able to teach your kid that before they go to college they need to have a high yield savings account and be contributing regularly to their Roth IRA and how to do basic budgeting before they get out on their own so we really try to take the fear and intimidation factor out of it for parents and give them really easy ways to implement this in their own home.

spk_0 Right that's awesome all of that is awesome I have a few things I want to pull out of this so first of all you mentioned the busy calendar.

spk_0 And that's what I recently just told people on my Instagram like if you can run your calendar you can learn to budget because is your bomb our calendars are so intricate and it's so much logistics like if you can do that you can learn to budget.

spk_0 But back to the kids money story I love that the first question you asked when you were digging into it when you were starting to research for your own kids you said the first question you asked was how do I teach positive money mindsets and habits to my kids your first question wasn't how do I set up a Roth IRA for my kids or how do I start their college fund how do I teach positive money mindsets and habits to my kids and I think that is really powerful because

spk_0 You also mentioned you didn't just want to hand your kids the money or maybe you wanted to or and a lot of people want to but we can't like i'm still working on investing enough for my retirement I know a lot of my listeners are how on top of that then do you hand your kids money when they leave the house so I like that you are saying.

spk_0 That actually and I agree with you on this that actually there's so much power into just teaching your kids the money mindsets and the money habits that even if they leave the house with nothing to their name they'll be better off.

spk_0 Then we were you and I were because we didn't we didn't know about managing our money so I really.

spk_0 If I could add really quick there were three statistics that really anchored me and like why this was so important.

spk_0 The first is that 80% of millionaires are self-made meaning that they did not inherit their wealth and here to less than $100,000 at any point in time in their life.

spk_0 And so 80% of people are out here who who be considered millionaires right who've grown their networks that million dollar mark and they have done it themselves.

spk_0 The second statistic is that the majority of wealth is lost by the third generation and so while a lot of families are handing down the generational wealth that they have worked so hard to build the majority of that wealth is gone by the time it hits the third generation because we are not passing down the money skills habits and mindsets for kids alongside passing that money or those assets down.

spk_0 And I don't think a single person who worked so hard to fill that wealth passed down to their family wanted it to be gone right by the time that hit you know their grandchildren are their great grandchildren.

spk_0 And so that just always reinforces with me how important it is that like sure it's amazing if we can give our children the gift of passing on wealth at some point to them or passing on some type of generational wealth to them.

spk_0 But the biggest thing that we can pass down to build generational wealth is that knowledge those habits and those mindsets right that will serve our family for generations.

spk_0 And the third statistic was that as of last year I think there's been a little bit of movement with this this year but as of last year only 17 states required one standalone personal finance course to be taught in schools prior to graduation.

spk_0 And so that means that our kids are spending almost 18 years and they may graduate only having taken one semester of personal finance in some capacity.

spk_0 Even though like we discussed already it is their understanding of money and their money knowledge is one of the most important kind of set of skills that will define their life.

spk_0 And so even when we look at that statistic that helps us see that it's even more important that we're having these conversations at home because if our kids are not getting immersed in understanding that we're not getting immersed in the money.

spk_0 And so if we're having a personal finance for years and years and years and years and they're schooling then they're gaining the vast majority of their money knowledge at home.

spk_0 And so we as parents need to make sure that we're attuned to that.

spk_0 Right. And just another thing that I think is really powerful.

spk_0 This conversation already is taking a lot of pressure off because sometimes especially because I have this podcast.

spk_0 My Instagram feed is filled up with a lot of personal finance stuff and it's like all the stuff you should be doing all the stuff you should be doing is and for your kids and like I'm not doing a lot for my kids as far as putting money aside for them.

spk_0 I'm not doing everything I air quotes should be doing for them.

spk_0 But you're telling us and we're talking about like one of the most powerful things you can be doing is teaching them these mindsets and habits and that actually doesn't take putting aside money for them every month.

spk_0 It's it just takes talking to them at home.

spk_0 So that actually takes a lot of the pressure off. I mean, of course, still put aside money for your kids if you can. But if that's not even something you can do, you can still teach your kids really powerful lessons.

spk_0 Yeah. We boil it down into what I call the big three money mindsets for kids.

spk_0 And to me, like if I just hit these three mindsets over and over and over again for their entire lives and they leave my house understanding just these three things, they're going to be fine.

spk_0 And so I don't have to make my kid a financial genius. They don't need to be day traders or I when they leave my house, making really sophisticated decisions around what they're putting in their investment accounts.

spk_0 They just need to really understand and comprehend three big things are big three mindsets that we pass away for kids. The first is split up before you spend it.

spk_0 And that means that when money comes in right first to get divided up amongst our goals. And then we spend from what we have designated for spending bucket.

spk_0 I think this is one of the most powerful mindsets that someone can have. And this is one of the main mindsets that I had to teach myself in my 20s, which is just that it's not that money's coming in and then I'm spending it.

spk_0 And then I'm seeing what's left over to figure out how to save that because usually nothing's left over right like right about when money comes in. I'm operating with intention.

spk_0 I've got a plan for that money. It's going first to those places where it's working toward my goals and then I'm sticking to spending what's in my spending bucket.

spk_0 I actually think this is a really powerful mindset for adults also it's one of the ones I had to learn or relearn as an adult.

spk_0 And I think it's really powerful for two reasons because over and over and over again we talk to people about this.

spk_0 We hear I hear kind of two big themes right there's a lot of variation in this with the spectrum but I hear two big themes themes in terms of how people oriented to money growing up.

spk_0 The fun I call the money personalities so you may you were either likely a spender or a saver.

spk_0 I was a spender right like I had a deep consumption habit money came in I got excited to spend it. I didn't know one more money was coming in.

spk_0 And so I just spend spend spend right and even as an adult like to counteract that I've had to learn that like when I'm expecting a check to come into my account.

spk_0 I literally wake up at like five there me in the morning and be like money and I will have to spend it like immediately and when I say spend it for me I have to like say I know that this dollar amount is going into my savings account.

spk_0 Let me transfer that I know that this dollar amount is going into my taxable broker. So let me transfer it and I have some that are automated as well.

spk_0 But I have to like I have anxiety about making sure the money gets into the right place so that what I'm left with is my spending bucket.

spk_0 And that's because like my money personalities is spend I need to feel like I've spent that money or put it somewhere I can't just leave it sitting there or it will get spent because I'm a spender.

spk_0 And so like that's my money personality and split it before you spend it works because it really helps someone who has that kind of spending personality be able to say I am spending my money right into the right accounts and then I'm going to know what slept over for spending and that's going to keep my spending kind of here where it needs to be.

spk_0 On the other hand the other personality that we hear a lot is the saver and that maybe someone who's honestly afraid or has fear of shame around spending they may have grown up getting a lot of fear or shame when they wanted to spend on something.

spk_0 You know maybe the mindset was you need to save everything first and kind of that hoarding mentality maybe the mindset was you need to spend first on your family and your community and then like their shame and fear around spending on yourself.

spk_0 But the split it before you spend it is also really effective that kind of counteracting the development of that type of money personality are helping someone who has developed that money personality because it gives you permission to spend right you know saved what you plan to save amongst your goals you know that your goals are nurtured right and they're good.

spk_0 And then you have the spending bucket left where the intention is to spend it and to enjoy something that you you know are looking forward to or that you want to with that money.

spk_0 And so it kind of helps counteract that so that's really mindset one it's really helping bring our kids into this middle ground where they are operating with attention around their money and they know that their goals are nurtured first and they have a clear definition of like what's there to spend.

spk_0 And the second big mindset is to add friction to spending and remove friction from saving so I say make spending hard make saving easy.

spk_0 And that really has a lot to do with like where are we putting our money like we live in a world of one click check out tap to pay right like feels like we're using monopoly money sometimes right whenever I'm just like oh that looks good let me double click.

spk_0 And then you know like decide on my iPhone and it's shipping in my house all within you know five seconds or less right and so one of the blessings that we can do for kids especially in that world is to start to make it to where spending is a little bit harder.

spk_0 Maybe we are having our kids first use actual just real cash or we're having them using prepaid debit cards that won't even swipe right if they don't have a certain amount of money above that there and make saving easy so we want to automate our kids money to savings as much as possible.

spk_0 And then the third is by heart know where your money goes and so that's just the basic habit of like budgeting and tracking we talk a lot about money check ins and the power of like a weekly money check in at home for kids I can bend over time length and to a monthly or quarterly as they get older.

spk_0 But that's really like whether they're using a paper based budget or an app or when they're kids they're using like four little jars instead of a piggy bank we're sitting down and we're saying we understand how much money has come in we understand where the money has gone that we have spent we understand where we are tracking to our goals and it's just the basic building blocks of financial awareness.

spk_0 And if we had kids who left our house with 15 years of practice of budgeting and knowing where their money goes of making decisions with their account structures and spending habits to make saving easy and sending hard and to split their money up amongst their goals before they spend it like even if your kid just masters those three things over 15 years right in your house even a couple years right they can master these minds at them then they are going to be okay.

spk_0 Okay awesome so I definitely want to give him to some more of the logistics of your four jars and everything with that but before we do that let me just say back to what you just said the three money mindsets that you want to be sure to teach your kids are split before you spend create friction around spending and know where your money goes did I get those right yeah okay saving hard or make saving easy and spending hard is maybe like more kid friendly term but yes.

spk_0 Okay make saving easy and spending hard okay I like that.

spk_0 Okay just a few things we we mentioned that it's so important and it's so powerful to teach these mindsets around money and I feel like I am very intentional with my money I I do make very value based decisions with my money I do feel like I have that but it's not translating to my kids in fact I feel like it's kind of back firing.

spk_0 They feel like I'm not allowing them they they maybe feel like I'm being cheap I say no all the time I feel like even though I'm trying to teach it in a positive way I'm trying not to like give them the shame the guilt all that stuff but I do feel like it's back firing so do you have like how does this look in the home how does this teaching your kids these powerful mindsets like what are the words you say what are the things you do how does this look in your home.

spk_0 Yeah so I think a lot of this comes down to us really reflecting and thinking on how much are we doing money for kids and not doing money with our kids and so I always say the first place to start here is really focusing on the money culture that you have inside of your home and ultimately right well we're trying to teach our children is that we want them to make values based decisions with our money to give themselves you know to allow them to make choices with their money right and like use them to make choices with their money.

spk_0 They're a budget writer use their money to get what they want the most because the money they can't get everything that they want but I always start with first, especially when kids are little is really setting that money culture in your home and so first it's going to be in the way that you talk about money and making sure that when you're talking around money you're really coming from like a coaching perspective right versus the decision maker perspective.

spk_0 So I'm going to maintain a neutral tone I'm going to put boundaries and guardrails right around money choices with my kids but I'm going to maintain a neutral tone and I'm going to let my kids make choices right and like use their own agency and making decisions about money so for example let's say your kid has.

spk_0 Allowance money or birthday gift that comes in or your kid had like goes to target and is like dying to get this new gaming console right that they're like really interested in it's not about saying like no that's true expensive that's a frivolous purchase right whatever it is it's about shifting that conversation and saying i'm hearing that you're valuing this right.

spk_0 let's number one go back to our system that we have set up for you which is having a clear spending bucket do you have the money in your spending bucket right now to get that and if you do let's get it that's your choice right that money is there for you to spend.

spk_0 If the answer is no right we don't have enough money for that then let's make a plan so that you can get this money right or that you can get this gaming console like what does that look like how much does it cost how much do you have in your spending jar how much do you need to save up for that.

spk_0 How much can you save per week how many weeks but it take you to get that and let them start to make those choices I always advocate for special and kids are younger putting pictures of those things up kids really benefit a lot from like visual trackers and representations and at some point in time especially with younger kids this will change a little bit as they get older that they're a little bit more resolute around specific goals.

spk_0 But you know what especially when they're younger that may change right they may say well I wanted that but now I really want this that's fine let's change the picture out we're no longer saving for this now we're saving for this we're not saving for everything right you're going to pick which thing you're saving for but that's 100% up to you and let's work on making that plan for you to get it.

spk_0 And so it's shifting that like no you're not allowed to have this because it's so expensive or whatever to sure you're allowed to have it if that's what you want to prioritize let's make a plan for how you're going to get to this thing.

spk_0 And that may mean you're going to make trade offs that may mean if you really want that gaming console and you say $5 a week because you want money to spend at the concessions day and with your friends after software practice that's fine it's going to take you 10 weeks right or whatever the math works out to.

spk_0 Yeah, but you really want this and so you want to get it faster so let's move up to saving $10 a week and that may mean that you're not going to have money for the concessions and after software practice with your friends.

spk_0 And if that's a choice you want to make you can get that game console a lot faster let's go right so it's a lot more about moving into that coaching role with kids and helping them make that plan for how to get what they want.

spk_0 I think I actually just saw something recently on your Instagram too and I put it into practice so you were something about not are allowing kids to make mistakes with their money so this goes kind of back to the coaching thing.

spk_0 My son has been wanting baseball gear base it's all about baseball gear all this stuff and he has money set aside but then we went to the store and there was a huge nerf gun and he really it was a $45 nerf gun and he really he wanted to buy it and like well you have the money but I said this is not at all what you've been saving up for this is not what you've been talking about at all are you sure you want to get it and I just asked him are you sure are you sure okay.

spk_0 And so he bought it brought it home well it didn't even work but then he had said to me I think I made a mistake buying that I think and we actually took it back but that I didn't say no I was more of a coach instead of the decision maker so I love that that wording that you just put to that.

spk_0 Yeah and ultimately and this is just like parenting in general right like our job as parents is not to prevent our kids from ever making mistakes it's not to shield our kids from making mistakes or from the impact of their choices our job as parents is to help our kids learn right from the mistakes that they make in ways that will not you know stick with them forever so I'm not letting my 13 year old rack up a bunch of my interest credit cards that that's going to settle them you know for a long time right we're going to put guard rails in place right that's going to be limits on that spending that's going to be.

spk_0 Regular money check ins I may check the account daily at first until they demonstrate more competency with it whatever that may be i'm putting in guard rails but I want my kids to be able to learn that thing and so.

spk_0 I think it's a really really powerful money moment for your kid when you know let's say after their.

spk_0 recital or their tournament or whatever they like went out to pizza with their friends and they spent way more money than expected and now one of their other goals is hindered that's fine we're going to sit down at their next money check in and we're going to say okay like where did your money go oh I see that you really only had.

spk_0 You know $20 to spend but you spent $40 at pizza with your friends 1 to 2 by etc alright the impact of that is that now we're going to be two weeks further right to getting the game console that we're saving for.

spk_0 And how do you feel about that honestly they may feel fine about it and that's great right because at that point in time your kid just made a values based decision they are valuing using their money on those experiences with their friends and they are fine with having a longer time price and getting their game console.

spk_0 That's fine right like that's us helping our kids recognize and add intention to saying like what things matter to you like as an adult.

spk_0 I spent a lot of money on travel and not a lot of money on clothes that was like the experiences you know we're things that were more valuable to me and so that's why put my money and because of that I just have like.

spk_0 Not very nice clothes and that was fine with me and like that values based choice and someone it's totally valid for someone to say.

spk_0 The travel or the experiences don't mean as much to me I want to have some nicer things in terms of like my clothes are like that type of stuff.

spk_0 And once again that's a fine values based choice to me as long as you have the money for it right and you're making the choice of where to put your money into those things.

spk_0 But you know really we need to I think step back and even if we think something is for the last we may want to jump into school to your kid for over spending on the pizza after practice because look at the impact on your goal.

spk_0 And it's really about calling back maintaining more of that neutral tone and just narrating what your child it looks like you valued this is that is that correct is that we really value.

spk_0 If yes great what shift your plan moving forward so you have more money to spend doing that and know it'll take you longer to get to your savings ball.

spk_0 Or oh no you actually really want to get that gaming console so let's talk about what you're going to do next week.

spk_0 So that you don't over spend right at that like at the pizza restaurant with your friends after practice or whatever that may be so that's really being a lot more of like that coach that guy and that facilitator.

spk_0 We're not like letting our kids spend a whole bunch of our money on all the different things right there like interested in our looking to not just buying them a bunch of stuff because they want it.

spk_0 We're showing them you have this much money and now i'm going to let you choose how what you value and what you want to spend that money on.

spk_0 And we're just going to understand what those values are and we're going to think about them we're going to just course together as we go.

spk_0 So when you're doing you say these weekly money check ins.

spk_0 Is this like something you have planned or is this randomly when you're driving in the car and it just comes up naturally how do you do these.

spk_0 Yeah I always recommend kind of planning a time for them usually like Sunday evenings a good time for a lot of families or sometimes it's Friday after school whatever works kind of for your schedule.

spk_0 And you can do money check ins of all ages I have a four year old when I do money check ins with him weekly.

spk_0 He has his kind of four jar budgeting system and it four years old that money check in is very simple it's here so much money is in your spending jar here so much money is in your saving jar you're currently saving for the pop a troll look out tower that costs 85 dollars right now you have 60.

spk_0 Yeah we're so much like we're getting closer to our goal we only need 25 more dollars let's start checking for see if it goes on sale right whatever it can sound very simple right oh you have 10 dollars in your sharing jar.

spk_0 What is it that you want to do like who do you want to give that money to what caused you want to you know that type of stuff and it's really just around.

spk_0 Here's your money here's your progress you know do you still want to say for the pop a troll look out tower did something else come up that you want more.

spk_0 You know those those are simple conversations as you get a little bit older you're going to keep the same spirit it's the same content right it's just how much money came in where did you spend your money.

spk_0 How much money do you have saved up for X goal do you want to keep that goal what pivots are adjustments do we need to make moving forward because rather on our off track to our goals.

spk_0 How do we want to use the money we set aside for sharing and charitable giving so it's all the same content it's just that like when they're a little it's going to start with like real money and real jars and as they get older it's going to move into paper based budgeting or at base budgeting and account structures I didn't all of that but it's really.

spk_0 Just the going to be the regular practice of checking on what where did the money come in where did it go out are we sticking to our plan or have we not and how are we going to adjust moving forward.

spk_0 Right and I mean I tell adults you should be doing your own money check ins weekly you know you should be looking at your spending tracking your spending and seeing where you're at adjusting your budget if you need to so yeah that could be just a family event or you do yours and then you do your kids and I.

spk_0 I relate it to like cleaning the bathroom like you should be doing it every week if you skip a week you'll be fine but if you keep skipping weeks it's going to get messy it's you're not even going to want to go in so yeah just once a week or yeah I think that's great.

spk_0 And I love.

spk_0 If I can donate anything to that you just said I think there's a lot of power in doing your own money check on alongside your kid because it's also important for your kid to see that you're not perfect either.

spk_0 And that sometimes like our finances are much more complicated right that are our kids finances are to have a lot more bills a lot more things are saving for and all of that.

spk_0 And it's also great for your kid to hear like oh I had an unexpected car maintenance bill pop up this week.

spk_0 And now here's how I'm thinking I'm going to have to compensate with that or pivot moving forward or oh like you know I ended up having the opportunity to go to like a happy hour dinner with my friends that I ended up taking and so I overspent a little in this category that I had planned because I want to that experience you know with my friend.

spk_0 And that's fine what am I going to what am I now adjusting next week right to compensate for that so I don't get too far up track with my goals like there are so much power and just narrating your money choices out loud to kids and then seeing it understanding those trade off.

spk_0 You may even ask them for your their perspective right because so much of the money that you're spending.

spk_0 At like ultimately goes to things with your family.

spk_0 So for you to say like look we have this unexpected car maintenance bill this week right that cost us $500 and I really don't want to get off track for goals let's look at what we've budgeted for next week as a family.

spk_0 And do we think there are any pivots that we could make there and like let your kid help brainstorm which experiences they are fine compromising on our good to skip or like like we don't have to go to dinner in a movie we can like.

spk_0 Pack a picnic and then go to a movie you know and like help them brainstorming that will give kids such a sense of power and agency and being involved in that conversation and then when you get to that point where you're like.

spk_0 Instead of it now be a conversation where it's like sorry guys we have this car maintenance bills can't go to dinner it's too expensive and you're it feels like you're taking something away from your kid.

spk_0 That you've already involved your kid in thinking about how can we solve a really great family experience together that maybe it's going to cost us a little bit less money because like.

spk_0 How many the new breaks you know yeah I love that narrating your choices if you're trying to make a choice in your head you're just narrating what you're thinking about out loud so that your kids can hear and then involve them in the decision making.

spk_0 I'm going to cut our conversation here remember we kept talking for over two hours but this is where I'm slicing off the first episode let's just recap this and get the solid takeaways from this first part first of all it's important to teach our kids about money it's one of the most important life skills that they can have that is going to help them moving forward in their life.

spk_0 And we are already teaching them about money whether we're trying to or not we're already modeling with our behavior and having conversations about spending and yes no you can have that you can't so Emily says let's just do it better.

spk_0 The second takeaway is there are things we can do as far as setting aside money making investments for our kids and Emily and I will actually get into that stuff in the third episode of this series.

spk_0 But in this first part we really cover the three money mindsets that you can be teaching at home and if you give your kids nothing else but these money mindsets they will leave your house more prepared.

spk_0 And guess what we talk about these same mindsets all the time on the budget effect so it's just making sure that we're intentionally passing these on to our kids as we're working on them too.

spk_0 So the first mindset is split it before you spend it don't spend all of it this gives your kids practice before leaving your house with saving and spending and we're actually going to get into what that looks like coming up in the next episode.

spk_0 The second mindset making spending hard and saving easy this is where we can automate some of their savings especially when their teenagers getting their first jobs.

spk_0 We can also give them some guardrails like only allowing them to spend with cash or only allowing them to have prepaid debit card with a certain amount of spending money on it.

spk_0 The third mindset is know where your money goes and we talk on here all the time about tracking your spending and checking in with that every week.

spk_0 Emily is saying let's just do that same thing with our kids.

spk_0 Now you may be asking okay but if my child is not a teenager with a job where are they getting this money to spend and save and what money are we even talking about.

spk_0 I have the same question and we get it answered in part two of our conversation talking all about allowance and teaching our kids to budget.

spk_0 So click follow if you haven't already to make sure you get the little reminder when the episode drops and also if you're interested in learning more from Emily before the next episode give her a follow on Instagram at raising little millionaires.

spk_0 I'll drop the link in the show notes. She is just a wealth of practical knowledge for doing money better with your kids.

spk_0 I am wishing you less stress more freedom and many money goals met. See you next time.

77// 3 Money Mindsets to Teach to your Kids: Powerful and Practical! with Emily Holthaus from Raising Little Millionaires

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