381: Why Strategies Don’t Stick (Educational Therapy Series)

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 Smarties, today we are discussing a major parent learner and

spk_0 anthropist frustration, which is the conversation around why strategies don't

spk_0 stick. In this episode we dig into a plethora of reasons that you have to

spk_0 wait through to figure out this conundrum of why strategies don't stick and

spk_0 when we're talking about strategies sticking we're meaning that strategies are

spk_0 independently implemented, self-selected by the learner and they become a

spk_0 generalized skill. Smarties, if this is something that you are struggling with as an

spk_0 educational therapist or you are a parent experiencing this currently we would

spk_0 be happy to have a conversation with you. For the therapist out there just a

spk_0 reminder that both Stephanie and I do business coaching you can reach out to us

spk_0 at Breachwood and Steph at LearnSpartarPodcast.com. For parents we would love to

spk_0 connect with you by signing up for a phone call and either one of our website

spk_0 Steph's website is www.myedtherapist.com. Her practice does all the things for

spk_0 learners of all ages. My practice is www.capadtherapist.com where we specialize in

spk_0 executive functioning skills challenges learners fifth grade through adulthood.

spk_0 Let's dig in.

spk_0 Hey Smarties this is Rachel and Steph and we are just popping in with a quick

spk_0 reminder. Did you know we offer coaching specifically for professionals who

spk_0 want to grow their educational practices and businesses? Whether you're just

spk_0 getting started looking to streamline your systems or you're ready to scale

spk_0 your business we're here to help you build something that actually works for

spk_0 your life and for your clients. We have been in your shoes Smarties and we've

spk_0 helped tons of other professionals do exactly what you're trying to do without

spk_0 the burnout without the guesswork and with keeping your quality of life at the

spk_0 forefront. So if you've been thinking I need support like this in my practice or

spk_0 I'm starting my practice and I don't know where to start and Rachel and Steph are

spk_0 people that I really think could help. This is your sign. Go to our website Smarties

spk_0 there's a few ways to connect with us. The fastest is going to be Rachel and

spk_0 Steph at LearnSmart or podcast.com. You have the option of coaching with both of

spk_0 us. I'll be honest both people pick one of us to do whoever you feel more

spk_0 connected to. You can also go to our individual websites www.capadtherapy.com

spk_0 that's my website or Steph's website www.myadtherapist.com. We'd love to support

spk_0 you in building a business you actually love. And now back to the episode. Hi

spk_0 Smarties welcome to episode 381 of LearnSmart or at the educational therapy

spk_0 podcast. I am Stephanie Pitts and I Rachel have. I really like that we're talking

spk_0 about this why strategies don't stick. Yeah I mean this is a complaint. Yes right

spk_0 then comes up. It's a concern. That's a nice array of saying it. A concern. And I

spk_0 think today we're going to kind of talk about it from a variety of different

spk_0 perspectives and angles because there's a triangle of people who are involved in

spk_0 this process. For most learners that we work with and the triangle would be the

spk_0 learner, the parent and the therapist are learning specialists that they're

spk_0 working with particularly in one of our practices. And each person in that

spk_0 triangle is going to have their own reaction to this conversation. So we're

spk_0 going to kind of try to talk like from all perspectives today. Yeah all right

spk_0 first let's talk about the strategies that we're sort of talking about. We're

spk_0 talking about let's say you have to study for a test you have a test coming up

spk_0 and you need to create a study plan. Okay that's a strategy. So then the next test

spk_0 comes up. Yeah. And there can be an expectation while we've done this once.

spk_0 Then you do it. Which brings us to our first reason why strategies don't stick

spk_0 and usually one that you want to at least address and look at is they haven't

spk_0 truly learned the skill yet. Not enough time has passed and there's nothing

spk_0 realistic expectation. But just because they've had exposure that they'll be

spk_0 able to complete something independently. Can I give another example of this?

spk_0 Yes but I just want to say I don't know if you guys heard my sort of sarcastic

spk_0 laugh when you said that but yes you can give another example and I'm going to

spk_0 give a real-world example. Okay so I kept that therapy group and at my

spk_0 therapist for learners who are of a certain age at step practice but in my

spk_0 practice for sure everybody is coming in and they're developing their

spk_0 foundational systems system for managing their time a system for managing

spk_0 themselves physically and a system for managing themselves digitally. What I

spk_0 know to be true based off the population that we work with is that parents

spk_0 have worked to establish those systems with their learners. Yeah absolutely. And

spk_0 where the fall off happens is they create usually these over complex systems.

spk_0 Is October? Is that? And then October comes. So they create all these systems

spk_0 like and August right now we're recording this in the last week of August.

spk_0 They're creating all these wonderful systems that are truly over complicated. I

spk_0 mean they're beautiful. Some of them. Beautiful. Yeah. And they say here child's

spk_0 of mine go forth and flourish my love. Yeah. And the learner never follows

spk_0 her with any of it. For maybe for a minute for one day. Lessor hurts. They

spk_0 try. They do try. They're not trying to obsess. No so my real-world example is

spk_0 learning to ride a bike. So you don't get on a two-wheeler and just know how to

spk_0 ride. I mean maybe there's a few exceptions and a few of you are those people

spk_0 but you are the exception not the rule. And you got to start with training

spk_0 wheels. Then you got to take them off. Then you got to practice. Do you know

spk_0 that there's actually a new philosophy now stuff not even bother with training

spk_0 wheels? Because they have those little baby-dude bikes. So Ellie just got a

spk_0 little baby-dude bike. I love those bikes without the training wheels. Yeah. And

spk_0 they just walk and sort of run with it. Yeah. But basically it's training wheels

spk_0 but they're legs. It's the same thing. Yeah. You're using their legs as a training

spk_0 wheel. Yeah. Yeah. It's the same thing. The idea is that you're gonna learn the

spk_0 balance and then how to pedal. Right. I suppose to pedal and then learn how to

spk_0 balance. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Same foundational skill. So that being said, you

spk_0 wouldn't expect your child to get on a two-wheeler and know how to do it

spk_0 after doing it one time. And so why are we expecting them to do these complex

spk_0 systems? Even if they are simple, it might not work in their brain. Like it just

spk_0 doesn't click for whatever reason. And we're expecting them to do something

spk_0 that maybe worked for us but doesn't work for their brain. So I think we really

spk_0 need to make sure that you know because something sounds easy because writing a

spk_0 bike now that you know how to do it, sure it's easy. But when you were learning, it

spk_0 was not. Let me have a see this stuff. Going to Calendary for example. Okay. Do you

spk_0 have a memory of either one of your parents sitting down and showing you how to

spk_0 do it? No. I don't really either. No. My mom would write stuff. The calendar was

spk_0 by the phone by the kitchen table. Same. Like on the counter. And my mom would put

spk_0 stuff in it and I would go look. I would always look ahead to see what was going

spk_0 on. I was always naturally curious and wanted to know what was happening. And I

spk_0 would watch her do it and put stuff in. And I think because I had this natural

spk_0 inclination to want to know. I started picking it up and wanting to do it myself.

spk_0 Yeah. It's interesting because it was not something that either one of my parents

spk_0 formerly taught us. But it was something that we certainly in the house lived by. And

spk_0 I just similar leave my mom had a calendar. She's had the same type of calendar. My whole

spk_0 life. Oh, my mom went to Google Calendar. Definitely. Oh, well, that has not happened and

spk_0 it never happened. And she actually has them all going back until like this. So like she

spk_0 can open it up and be like, look, this was my bridal shower day. And it's fun. It's

spk_0 fun. I'm sure it's like a diary, really? A diary time capsule. Yeah. Totally. And so

spk_0 we saw her using it. But one of the things she did do for us is our middle school and

spk_0 high school. My brother and I went to the same school with the block schedule. So there

spk_0 was an eight week and a week. Every eight week. My name was the same. Every me week. My

spk_0 name was the same. I could tell you the schedule to this day. I haven't that memorized because

spk_0 I was there for seven years. Yeah. I had a pink one. My brother had a blue one. And she

spk_0 would write out all the classes over the course of two weeks. And then she would write

spk_0 which teacher it was. So she had for each of us, she would make three of her copies.

spk_0 One would go in our backpack. One would go up by her desk, her calendar. So she could keep

spk_0 track of which classes we had on which day. She'd make one for our locker. And gradually,

spk_0 within the first year, I was putting all this information into my planner too. I have

spk_0 a vivid memory of me sitting with Kristen, you know, Kristen, one of my oldest friends.

spk_0 And her and I going through the whole calendar year writing in the planner, which classes

spk_0 we had on which day. Yeah. I mean, it sounds right for sure. Right. But I'm just saying

spk_0 like it was a question that I never asked you or if I had it been years of who taught

spk_0 us what I'm hearing is that we learned by watching, which means our parents had those

spk_0 skills. But what do you do if your parents doesn't have those skills and struggles in the

spk_0 same way? Anyway, so there are other reasons why strategy is don't stick. It's because

spk_0 frankly, we're trying to do too many things at once. This is really hard. And this is

spk_0 one of the things that happens again, an unrealistic expectation at the beginning of the year.

spk_0 And this is what we're talking about. Hope is not a strategy. So we didn't episode on

spk_0 that. Hoping that this year is going to be different or this year, it'll click is

spk_0 not a strategy. And there is a reason it is hard. There is a reason that we do one thing

spk_0 at a time in educational therapy. Because if you do all the things, it's like being able

spk_0 to do a million things, but you're not good at one thing. And you sort of have to learn

spk_0 it. I mean, that's a little bit me. I'll take accountability for that. I know how to

spk_0 do a million things partially. But that being said, and it's true, right?

spk_0 I'm dark and you know how to do it more than partially. You have like, in

spk_0 technology, a lot of things to the point that I come to you. It's funny. Anyway, that being said,

spk_0 it's kind of one of those things that it might not seem complicated to you, but to your

spk_0 learner, it sounds like you're speaking another language. The next reason, stuff,

spk_0 some simply a strategy just might not be the right strategy. Yeah, it just might be hard.

spk_0 It would just like not be the right one. And you have to weave this out.

spk_0 Her of figuring out works is figuring out what doesn't work. It takes the skill of an expert,

spk_0 of an educational therapist, of an expert learning specialist to be able to

spk_0 parse out when not enough time has passed and rehearsal has happened without strategy.

spk_0 Or it's not the right strategy.

spk_0 Correct. Absolutely. And that's when you're relying on the expertise of the person that you're

spk_0 working with. Absolutely. All right, Steph, what's another reason? So another reason is there's no

spk_0 cue to trigger the actual strategy, meaning they don't remember what they need to remember in order

spk_0 to make it happen. So it's something doesn't come up and make them think, oh, this is what I should

spk_0 use. So then they don't do it, right? So they might know the strategy, but they might not know when

spk_0 to use it yet. That's a whole other skill. If you've been an OG listener of the podcast back in the

spk_0 day, we did an episode the living strategies document. Yeah, working strategies. I don't know.

spk_0 We'll leave the episode in the show notes parties, but it was something that we were experimenting

spk_0 with at that time of having learners themselves document their sessions and what they did in sessions

spk_0 and what the strategy was and in what situations wouldn't be applicable again. It was about

spk_0 met and cognition. It was about thinking about their own thinking. And this is not to say we don't

spk_0 do this in other ways in session. So it's just we've had an evolution, but that's a really good

spk_0 episode to link back to if you're thinking about why things aren't working. That's something that

spk_0 you can absolutely try. What's the next one? The next one is just emotional and cognitive overload.

spk_0 It's just overwhelmed. It's just overwhelmed guys. And when you weren't hired, you make mistakes.

spk_0 I know when I'm overwhelmed, I remember there was a say that everything had to go perfectly.

spk_0 Like it was just one of those days that I could not be late. The timing in between things,

spk_0 like it had to go perfectly. I was leaving that night for a trip, a far trip. Who are you me?

spk_0 Yeah, except my anxiety around travel at that time was much more cute than it is now.

spk_0 It was my first year out of college, so I didn't know, hey, if the day is too busy, just take the

spk_0 day off work. Like I wasn't in a financial position to just make that decision. And on the way to work,

spk_0 I got into the car accident. Oh no. Yeah, my car still works. Oh, that's awful. But it was messed up.

spk_0 Don't worry guys. I still got my nails done before the trip because you know priorities.

spk_0 Priorities, yeah. You made the plane is what you're saying. I made the plane. My nails were done.

spk_0 But it was a big lesson for me. Just the reality is I did stuff like that all the time in college,

spk_0 when all I was responsible for were my two legs. I still do all those things. You still tell me I'm

spk_0 doing too much. I tell you all the time. I mean, you've got some personal stuff going on. I'm like,

spk_0 why do you have to do all these things simultaneously? It's unclear. Okay, okay. I don't have

spk_0 the answer for you. Okay. Because I'm staying up at night worrying about what you have going on.

spk_0 And like what can I do to help? It's true. It's rough. Yeah. Guys, I'm moving it. That's one of the

spk_0 things she's talking about. Stuff's moving. I was in a meeting with Katrina, who's our director

spk_0 of operations. And I was just saying to Katrina, I was like, Steph's two weeks are like, what can

spk_0 we take off her calendar for the next few weeks? And Katrina's like, oh, I'll go play an embrace.

spk_0 I saw a break shot up. This is why it helps to have someone in your corner who has access to

spk_0 your calendar to do stuff like that for you. Because like I was feeling stressed and I'm like,

spk_0 she needs more free time. How can we build them more free time for her? So anyway, I am concerned

spk_0 about Steph's emotional and cognitive overload right now, but that is another reason why

spk_0 learners might not access the new strategy that they've learned. 100%. Because if you think about

spk_0 personally, when you've got a lot going on, you can't think clearly enough to know sometimes

spk_0 what to do and when to do it, or you forget, or you think about it later, you just don't have

spk_0 all the bandwidth. So we can't expect them, especially right after the beginning of school.

spk_0 When school starts, they go from nothing over the summer to shoot out of the cannon. Yeah, exactly.

spk_0 A full day with all the homework, all the social parts of it as well. And we're expecting them

spk_0 to just be able to handle it. And that's a shock to the system for most of them. So

spk_0 let's give them some grace. The next one is they're not having any real world practice, meaning

spk_0 they're not connecting it to things outside of in session. And that can take time,

spk_0 smarties. That's the thing that we want you to know, right? You practice, practice, practice,

spk_0 and then you learn how to do it outside. So the thing is that one of the things that we both

spk_0 preach, I think, about doing some of these things is the first expectation is we're teaching all

spk_0 these systems and did the learner write their homework down once out of a week? That's a win.

spk_0 It's learning how to transfer the skills, but not learning how to transfer all of the skills

spk_0 all at once in one time. So it's a slow build. Then the final one is they don't see the value.

spk_0 And I think this is really important because number one, kids don't see the value in a calendar.

spk_0 And they think it's extra work. And they are heels dug in the sand, not willing to do it. And so

spk_0 we have to often trick them is how I'm going to put it. To use something, it might not look like a

spk_0 calendar because it could look like a post it, but it's basically us or a note in their phone,

spk_0 but it's basically us teaching them how to calendar. It just doesn't look like a calendar yet.

spk_0 So when they don't see the value and they think, oh, it's just one more thing and this isn't helping

spk_0 me, they're not understanding the foundational skills that were teaching in order for them to get

spk_0 there, right? It's the balance bike or the training wheels. Whatever philosophy is new and great

spk_0 for learning how to write a bike, you don't learn how to write a bike with two wheels in one day.

spk_0 I mean, unless you're like a Cirque du Soleil person, maybe they are capable of that.

spk_0 Because we've talked about the calendar so much as an objection today of practicing skills and

spk_0 strategies that don't stick, for example, I went ahead and also linked in the show notes,

spk_0 another fabulous episode that we did years ago on the Reason State Learner Stope on the calendar.

spk_0 And we go through all the reasons and how we respond to them. So.

spk_0 And just so you know, most of them, if they stayed in the practice, they are now using a calendar

spk_0 or if they've graduated out, they're using a calendar. Even those ones that were so resistant

spk_0 are now using it. Life skills. Life skills. Yeah. So with that, have a great week, Smarties.

spk_0 Have a great week.

381: Why Strategies Don&#8217;t Stick (Educational Therapy Series)

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381: Why Strategies Don’t Stick (Educational Therapy Series)