212 - The War Within

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 Welcome to the Secular Buddhism Podcast where we explore Buddhist teachings and ideas in

spk_0 a way that's practical down to earth and relevant for everyday life.

spk_0 I am your host Noah Rasheda, and today this is episode 212, The War Within, Finding

spk_0 Peace and a World of Violence. As always remember, you don't need to use what you learn from

spk_0 Buddhism to be a Buddhist, you can use what you learn to simply be a better whatever you already are.

spk_0 This past week I found myself sitting with the news, feeling this familiar heaviness in my chest,

spk_0 again another school shooting, ongoing war, hatred manifesting as violence in our world,

spk_0 and then this morning I came across a news article of a recent arrest of an adult attempting to

spk_0 sexually assault a 13 year old child, and as I was reading through the story I realized that the

spk_0 perpetrator is a sibling of one of my closest friends, and man my heart just sank as I sat there

spk_0 reading the news, thinking of my own kids, my daughter, who's the same age as that girl at the

spk_0 story, my kids are the same ages as the kids that were killed in the school shooting,

spk_0 and thinking about the pain that those poor parents must be going through at the loss of their

spk_0 children, and as I sat there thinking of all the heartache and suffering that we see in the world

spk_0 I was feeling something between anger and despair, asking myself the same question that I've

spk_0 asked so many times, what will it ever take for the world to know peace?

spk_0 Maybe you felt this too, the sense of helplessness when you see the violence, the hatred, the seemingly

spk_0 endless cycle of harm that we tend to inflict on each other, and you might ask yourself what can we do,

spk_0 what can possibly be done when it feels like the world is drowning in its own poisons?

spk_0 I saw this same question unfolding in the comments on social media reading through these

spk_0 articles and stories and our complete inability to agree on what can be done, and the additional

spk_0 anger and frustration that arises when it seems like no one can answer the question, what can we do?

spk_0 This made me think maybe we're asking the wrong question, instead of what can we do, this abstract

spk_0 overwhelming question that no one is ever going to agree on, it might be more wise to ask something

spk_0 more specific, more personal, like what can I do? And perhaps even more importantly, what's

spk_0 happening inside of me that contributes to the lack of peace in the world? Because this is what I've

spk_0 come to understand that hatred, we see manifested out there in the acts of violence and war that greed

spk_0 that drives people to take what isn't theirs, that ignorance that allows someone to believe that

spk_0 harming or destroying life will somehow solve their problems, these don't come from somewhere

spk_0 out there, they come from the same roots that exist here inside of each of us within us.

spk_0 We all want to experience world peace, we all want to wake up to the news of cooperation instead of

spk_0 conflict, healing instead of harm, but peace is generally not a top-down phenomenon that can be

spk_0 legislated or decreed into existence. Peace is a grassroots movement that starts in individual

spk_0 hearts. It moves outward and ripples. A peaceful heart creates a peaceful home, a peaceful home,

spk_0 influences a peaceful family, peaceful families build peaceful neighborhoods and peaceful neighborhoods,

spk_0 form peaceful communities and peaceful communities are the only thing that could ever create a peaceful

spk_0 world. But we keep trying to work backwards, we demand world peace while waging war in our own hearts.

spk_0 We call for others to lay down their weapons while we stay armed with our own resentments,

spk_0 our own hatred, our own violence, even if it only manifests in our thoughts and words or social

spk_0 media comments rather than actual actions. And thinking about the school shooting and all

spk_0 past ones as well, the person who walked into that school with a gun, that was someone's neighbor,

spk_0 someone's child, someone who sat in classrooms in eight lunch and cafeterias just like we all have,

spk_0 they weren't born violent, they weren't inherently evil, somewhere along the way, the poisons

spk_0 that exist in all of us, the seeds of ignorance, greed and hatred were watered and nurtured

spk_0 until they grew into something monstrous. And here's the uncomfortable truth that I think we

spk_0 all need to face. The same seeds exist within each of us. The differences not in the presence or

spk_0 absence of these seeds, but in how we tend to them. The hatred that pulls trigger come from the same

spk_0 root as the hatred that one might feel in traffic when someone cuts you off. The scale is different,

spk_0 drastically different, but the poison is the same. When we feel that flash of rage at the driver

spk_0 who cuts us off, when we fantasize for even a moment about them getting what they deserve,

spk_0 we're watering the same seed that under different conditions with different nurturing

spk_0 could grow into something terrifying. In Buddhism, we talk about the three poisons that contaminate

spk_0 our minds and hearts, and these are ignorance, greed and hatred. They are real forces that shape

spk_0 our emotions and our thoughts and our actions every single day. And I want you to imagine yourself

spk_0 as a tree. You have roots that go deep into the ground and these represent your core beliefs

spk_0 about yourself and the world. And then you have the trunk of the tree which represents your thoughts,

spk_0 growing up from those beliefs and shaped by them. Then we have branches and leaves that reach out

spk_0 from the trunk and these represent emotions and feelings. They are your response to the winds

spk_0 and the weather of daily life and they are shaped by your thoughts and beliefs. And finally,

spk_0 we have the fruit. The fruit that the tree bears represents your actions, what you actually say and

spk_0 do in the world. That fruit is the tangible outcome of the entire system. It's the visible

spk_0 results of everything happening inside of you. When poison enters the roots of a tree,

spk_0 it affects everything that grows from them. The trunk becomes weak or twisted, the branches wither

spk_0 or grow wild, and the fruit, the fruit becomes poisonous, capable of poisoning others who consume it.

spk_0 And this is what happens when the three poisons infiltrate our being. They contaminate our beliefs,

spk_0 they distort our thoughts, they inflame our emotions and ultimately poison our actions.

spk_0 And our poison actions can poison others, creating a cycle of toxicity that spreads through

spk_0 families, communities, and even the entire world. So I wanted to talk about these three poisons

spk_0 starting with ignorance. This isn't just not knowing something, it's actively misunderstanding

spk_0 the nature of reality. It's seeing the world through a distorted lens and believing that the

spk_0 distortion is truth. The person who commits an act of violence operates from a place of profound

spk_0 ignorance. They believe somehow that violence will solve their pain, the destroying others will

spk_0 build them up, but causing suffering will somehow ease their own suffering. You've probably heard

spk_0 that saying that hurt people hurt people. This is ignorance at its most tragic. It's the complete

spk_0 misunderstanding of how cause and effect actually work. But we all operate from ignorance and

spk_0 smaller ways in our everyday life. We say things like, you made me angry instead of I experienced

spk_0 anger when you did this or that. Can you see the difference there? The first one assumes that

spk_0 others have control over our internal states in the second recognizes that our emotions arise

spk_0 from within us based on our interpretation of events. We believe our happiness depends entirely

spk_0 on external circumstances. If I just had more money, if I could just get my partner to behave

spk_0 differently, if my boss would just appreciate me, then I'd be happy. This is ignorance. We're

spk_0 misunderstanding. We're happiness actually comes from. And perhaps the deepest ignorance is the

spk_0 illusion of separateness. We see ourselves as isolated individuals separate from others,

spk_0 separate from nature, separate from the world. Just as the shooter sees their victims not as

spk_0 fellow human beings with families and dreams and fears, just like their own, but they see them

spk_0 as others, as enemies, as problems that need to be eliminated. But we do this in our own daily

spk_0 lives. We operate from this ignorance of separation. We think we can hate someone without that hatred

spk_0 affecting us. We think we can wish harm on others without that poisoning our own hearts. We think we

spk_0 can damage the world around us without damaging ourselves. And this is the fundamental ignorance

spk_0 that underlies all violence, whether it's harsh, brutal acts or even just words. And then we have

spk_0 the second poison, which is greed or attachment. But not just in the sense of wanting money or

spk_0 wanting possessions. Really, it's the desperate grasping energy that we feel that says, I must have

spk_0 this. I need this. I'll do anything to get this. And for someone who commits violence, this greed might

spk_0 manifest as a desperate need for control in a life that feels out of control. Maybe it's a

spk_0 desperate need for significance in a world where they feel invisible. A desperate need for revenge

spk_0 against a perceived wrong. It's the grasping that becomes so tight, so desperate that they're

spk_0 willing to destroy everything to get the thing they think they need. And we all experience this poison.

spk_0 It shows up as our need to be right and arguments. You know, that desperate grasping for validation

spk_0 are need for approval. The constant checking of social media for likes and comments.

spk_0 Our need for things to go according to our plans. It's that tight grip we have on how we think

spk_0 life should unfold. And you notice that the tighter we grasp, the more violent we become when

spk_0 things slip through our fingers. When someone challenges our need to be right, we might lash out

spk_0 with cruel words. When we don't get the approval that we're seeking, we might become bitter and

spk_0 resentful. And when life doesn't go according to our plans, we rage against life itself.

spk_0 The energy of greed is the energy of war. It's the determination to take what we want regardless

spk_0 of the cost to others. And while most of us would never take a life for what we want, how often do

spk_0 we take someone else's peace or their dignity or their joy? And then we have the third poison which

spk_0 hatred or aversion. This active energy of pushing away in rejection. It's that voice that says,

spk_0 I don't want this. Get this away from me. And for someone who commits an act of violence, this

spk_0 hatred has consumed them. It's the ultimate rejection, the rejection of life itself, both

spk_0 the life of others and often the life of themselves, their own life. It's saying, this should not

spk_0 exist, and I'm taking action to destroy it. But I think hatred shows up in our lives and

spk_0 countless smaller ways. It's the person that we can't forgive. It's carrying that resentment

spk_0 like a hot coal in our hearts. It's the situation that we resist with every fiber of our being

spk_0 exhausting ourselves fighting against reality. It's the parts of ourselves that we reject,

spk_0 the internal violence that we commit against our own hearts and our own minds.

spk_0 And every act of violence begins with an internal no, a no to what is.

spk_0 No, this person shouldn't have cut me off in traffic. No, my partner shouldn't have said that.

spk_0 No, I shouldn't be feeling this emotion. No, life shouldn't be this way. You see that pattern

spk_0 there and it's from that no that the desire to push to eliminate, to destroy, to make it go away

spk_0 arises. It's the extreme form where this becomes physical violence. And it's every day form,

spk_0 it becomes the 1000 small seemingly nonviolent acts that we commit, the silent treatment of someone,

spk_0 the harsh words to someone, the affection that we withhold from someone, the desire to see someone

spk_0 fail. You can see that that's how it manifests. And if you want to think about this, when we hear

spk_0 about big instance of violence like a mass shooting, we often learn that the shooter was filled with

spk_0 hatred, hatred for specific groups, hatred for society, hatred for life, and often probably hatred

spk_0 for themselves. But where does this hatred come from? It doesn't just appear overnight, it grows,

spk_0 it grows from the seeds that were watered over time, every small hatred that we nurture, every

spk_0 resentment that we feed, every moment of us versus them that we entertain in our minds, we're watering

spk_0 those very same seeds. So let's talk about the antidotes. What do we do about this, recognizing that

spk_0 we have these poisons? And here it's worth mentioning, I don't think we can eliminate these

spk_0 poisons entirely. They're part of being human, even the most enlightened people are going to

spk_0 experience the arising of these poisons from time to time. The difference is in how quickly they

spk_0 recognize them and how quickly they choose to respond skillfully to what they're experiencing.

spk_0 It's like a gardener that knows which plants are plants and which are weeds. You can't prevent

spk_0 weeds from sprouting. The seeds are everywhere, they're carried by the wind, by birds, by animals,

spk_0 and they arrive over time. But you can learn to recognize them quickly and choose not to water them.

spk_0 You can choose to nurture different seeds instead. For each poison, there's an antidote.

spk_0 Keep in mind it's an antidote, not a cure, because these poisons will keep arising as long as

spk_0 we're human. But the antidote that neutralizes their effect and transforms their energy, that's

spk_0 what we should be trying to cultivate. So the antidote to ignorance is wisdom, which we can practice

spk_0 as clarity or curiosity. Wisdom is seen clearly, it's understanding how things actually work.

spk_0 When ignorance says, this person is my enemy, wisdom might see, this person who hurt me,

spk_0 maybe they're also suffering. Happy people don't go around causing harm, maybe they're in pain.

spk_0 Then when ignorance says, I am separate and alone, wisdom might recognize,

spk_0 they're pain and my pain, they're actually not separate. We're all in this together, we're all

spk_0 struggling. We're all wanting to be happy, we're all afraid of suffering, we all want to experience

spk_0 peace. And then when ignorance says, ah, this will be like this forever, wisdom might whisper,

spk_0 you know, this too shall pass, this feeling won't always be this way because nothing is permanent.

spk_0 So wisdom doesn't mean that we have all the answers, it just means that we're starting to see

spk_0 more clearly or at least clearly enough to respond skillfully rather than react blindly.

spk_0 And then we have the antidote to greed, which is gratitude. It's the recognition of what we

spk_0 already have, the appreciation for what's already here. When greed keeps us focused on what's

spk_0 missing, on what's wrong, on what we don't have, it's like a clenched fist that's grasping

spk_0 desperately. Gratitude comes along and opens that fist and relaxes the grip and allows us to

spk_0 receive what's already here. When we're grateful for what we have, we stop violently grasping for

spk_0 what we don't have. When we appreciate this moment, we stop desperately trying to force a different

spk_0 moment into existence. When we're thankful for the people in our lives, just as they are, we stop

spk_0 trying to forcefully change them into who we think they should be. So gratitude doesn't eliminate

spk_0 greed or desire, but it does shift the balance. It reminds our nervous system that right here,

spk_0 right now, we're okay. And from that place of okeness, we can act with generosity rather than

spk_0 desperation. And then we have the antidote to hatred, which is loving kindness, or what we

spk_0 might call compassion or understanding. It's not forced positivity or a fake niceness. It's the

spk_0 genuine wish for all beings to be free from suffering. This is not a sentimental, fluffy feeling.

spk_0 It's a courageous practice. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with your crazy relative or,

spk_0 you know, doesn't mean, well, what it means is that you make an effort to see the human behind the

spk_0 opinion, to wonder what experiences led this person to believe what they believe? What is this

spk_0 person afraid of? And what way is this person hurting? It's the simple revolutionary act of

spk_0 choosing to soften when your instinct is to harden. And this starts with ourselves. We can't give

spk_0 what we don't have. If we're at war with ourselves, we'll be at war with the world. If we can't

spk_0 offer kindness to our own hearts, our kindness to others is hollow and unsustainable.

spk_0 Loving kindness doesn't mean liking everyone or approving of all actions. It just means recognizing

spk_0 the basic humanity and everyone, including those who have caused harm. It means wishing for the

spk_0 end of suffering that drives people to cause more suffering. When someone commits an act of violence,

spk_0 loving kindness doesn't excuse their action, but it does recognize that this person,

spk_0 they were once a child, a baby, innocent and full of potential, and something went wrong.

spk_0 Perhaps many things went wrong. And while we definitely need to protect society from harmful

spk_0 actions, we can still wish for the helium of the pain that created the perpetrator.

spk_0 So what do we do with all of this? And how do we begin to transform these poisons within ourselves

spk_0 to contribute to more peace in the world? I want to offer you two practical practices that you

spk_0 could begin today. The first one is a daily poison check-in. Every evening you could take a few

spk_0 minutes to review your day, sit quietly and ask yourself three questions. One, where did ignorance

spk_0 show up for me today? Maybe you assumed you knew someone's intentions without asking. Maybe you

spk_0 believed that your happiness was dependent on something external. Maybe you forgot the interdependent

spk_0 nature of reality and with others. Then you could ask a second question, where did greed arise?

spk_0 Perhaps you were grasping too tightly to being right in a conversation. Maybe you were desperate

spk_0 for the approval or recognition from someone else. Maybe you tried to control something that

spk_0 wasn't yours to control. Then you have the third question, where did hatred manifest?

spk_0 Did you push away an uncomfortable feeling? Did you wish harm on someone even briefly?

spk_0 Did you reject some part of yourself or your experience? And you shouldn't do this with the

spk_0 intent to judge yourself when you notice these poisons. We're not trying to shame ourselves into

spk_0 change. It doesn't work that way. We're not, we're going to experience these poisons from time to

spk_0 time. I think we need to accept that and recognize that none of us are immune. We're all capable of

spk_0 allowing these seeds to grow into something bigger than what we had intended. But what we're trying to

spk_0 do here is build awareness. We're becoming gardeners who can recognize the weeds in our own mental

spk_0 garden. And then you could ask yourself, what antidote could I have applied? How could wisdom

spk_0 have helped me to see more clearly? How could gratitude have helped me to release a little bit of

spk_0 that grasping? How could loving kindness have softened my heart just a little bit? And by doing

spk_0 this continually, this practice builds the awareness that is the first step to transformation.

spk_0 And then we have a second practice. You could think of this as the ripple practice. And this is where

spk_0 when you feel overwhelmed by the events in the world, when violence or hatred seem too much to bear,

spk_0 try this. Just place your hand on your heart and say, may I be free from ignorance, greed,

spk_0 and hatred? May I be at peace? And then try to expand that outward to family. May my family be free

spk_0 from ignorance, greed, and hatred? May they be at peace? Then continue expanding. May my

spk_0 neighborhood be free from these poisons? May my community be at peace? And on from there,

spk_0 may my country be at peace? All the way out to may all beings everywhere be free from ignorance,

spk_0 greed, and hatred. The important thing is to start where you are and start with what you can

spk_0 actually influence. And that is your own heart, your own mind. You can't go out and just

spk_0 end all war, but you can end the war within yourself. You can't go out and just eliminate all

spk_0 hatred, but you can transform the hatred in your own heart. You can't go out and cure the world's

spk_0 ignorance, but you can seek wisdom in your own understanding. And this isn't a passive practice.

spk_0 I think when you genuinely cultivate peace within yourself, it changes how you interact with

spk_0 everyone around you. It changes the energy that you bring to every situation you find yourself in.

spk_0 And it changes the seeds that you water in others. And we need to remember that we continually have

spk_0 a choice, not just once, but literally every day, multiple times a day, when ignorance arises,

spk_0 we can choose wisdom. When greed arises and we recognize it, we can choose to look for what we're

spk_0 grateful for. When hatred arises and we sense it, we can choose loving kindness. The person who

spk_0 committed this recent act of violence, they made their choice. And we can't undo that. The

spk_0 damage is done. The lives are lost. The trauma ripples outward. But what we can do is we can

spk_0 make different choices. Every time we choose the antidote over the poison, we add a drop of

spk_0 peace to the world. And it might seem insignificant or even helpless, but choosing patience over

spk_0 anger and traffic, choosing gratitude over complaint at dinner time or choosing understanding

spk_0 over judgment with our family members. Remember that's the ripple effect. Every act of violence

spk_0 started as a seed, watered over time, but also every act of peace started as a seed.

spk_0 So the question isn't, what will it take for the world to know peace? I think that's too big,

spk_0 too abstract, too far from our direct influence. But maybe the question is, will I choose peace in

spk_0 this moment? Because world peace isn't some far off goal that's going to be achieved through

spk_0 treaties and agreements, world peace is going to be, if it ever is, the accumulation of billions

spk_0 of individual moments of choosing peace over violence, wisdom over ignorance, gratitude over greed,

spk_0 and love over hatred. So your peace matters, your choice matters, the poisons that you transform in

spk_0 your own heart create ripples that extend far beyond what you can see. And the tree that you are

spk_0 with the roots of your beliefs, the trunk of your thoughts, and the branches of emotions,

spk_0 and the fruit of your actions, that tree is in your care. You are the gardener of that tree,

spk_0 and you choose which seeds to water. You choose whether to nurture poison or to nurture healing

spk_0 and medicine. In a world that sometimes feels overwhelmed, overwhelmingly poisoned,

spk_0 your choice to cultivate healing, to grow different fruit, to offer shade and sustenance,

spk_0 rather than toxicity, that choice is an act of revolution, it's an act of hope, and it's an act

spk_0 of peace. The war within you is the only war you can truly end, but when you end that war,

spk_0 when you make peace with yourself and when you transform your poisons, you become a force for

spk_0 peace in the world. And it's not through grand gestures or dramatic actions, but through the quiet,

spk_0 consistent choice to meet each moment with as much wisdom, gratitude, and loving kindness as

spk_0 you can muster. That's what you can do. That's what I can do, and that's what we all can do. One

spk_0 moment at a time, one choice at a time, one heart at a time. Until the ripples meet and merge,

spk_0 and the world we long for, the world of peace emerges, it will emerge not from above, not from outside,

spk_0 but from within, from within each and every one of us. Thank you for sharing this moment with me,

spk_0 and for your own commitment to this path of greater inner peace.

spk_0 May we all be free from ignorance, greed, and hatred. Thank you for listening. Until next time.

spk_0 If you enjoyed this episode, feel free to share it with others, or join our community at

spk_0 secularbootism.com. May your journey be filled with wisdom and compassion.

212 - The War Within

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