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The Matty Tapes - 3 - Christmas 1996
In this gripping episode of 'The Matty Tapes,' Matty finds himself in a precarious situation as he navigates a twisted encounter with Dr. Gildertello, a forensic psychologist with sinister i...
The Matty Tapes - 3 - Christmas 1996
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Interactive Transcript
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Thanks for supporting the Fable and Folly Network.
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Here's another show we know you'll love.
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Where am I?
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Welcome to Desert Skies, Traveler.
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Your journey through the physical plane has come to an end.
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I am the attendant.
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My colleague here is the mechanic.
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Yo!
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This is your last stop on your way to the Great Beyond.
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It's our job to make sure you're prepared for the ride.
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Now, before hitting the road, we have an impressive selection of over 34 varieties of microwavable burritos.
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Um, where, where? What's going on?
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There's gotta be a better afterlife than this.
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I mean, come on!
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That's offensive.
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Something seems to be wrong, too.
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You left something major. Undone.
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I have a life outside of this gas station, you know.
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You quite literally do not.
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Any hobbies? Nope.
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Ever travel? No, love interests?
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Are you kidding?
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Oh my god.
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You're like the human version of a plain bagel.
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Cash register.
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How can I help you, attendant?
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Play some music?
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You got it.
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It's kind of funny, though.
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What I needed wasn't back there.
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It was here.
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Waiting for me.
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I wonder what it feels like, Mack.
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To miss the physical plane.
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The people.
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You left behind.
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You know, I had a wife who died three years ago.
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Wish I could go back.
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No, you don't need to go back.
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You just need to be here.
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You're done, Dave.
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You travel or approaches?
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Ready, team?
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Ready, attend it.
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Good. Let's do this.
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Find Desert Skies.
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Wherever you listen to podcasts.
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Longcat media presents.
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The Matty tapes.
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Episode three.
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Christmas 1996.
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I must say.
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I never thought I'd be summoned to mockery manner again.
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I assume this means you've picked up where Jenkins left off.
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He's been dead almost five years.
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May I ask what took so long?
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That is none of your concern.
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Your focus is Matty Burke.
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I see.
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And the job description, it hasn't changed.
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No.
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Copy his file notes.
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Assess the risk.
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Report back.
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Any questions?
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Ah, plenty.
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But that risk applies for now.
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Pick up K
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5
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Oh.
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I got to listen to this anymore.
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Say good-bye to full turkey.
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And hello.
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Ssjun Right now...
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Ah!
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Better.
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It sounded worse than I remember.
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So clobore mix, Sack is trying to get tofu turkey back in the charts.
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Is there no end to that man's depravity?
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Look at what's coming to him.
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I can't come soon enough.
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Okay, let's start, shall we?
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How are you, Matthew?
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How am I?
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You just wholson here and ask how am I?
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Yes?
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Five years, Doc.
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I haven't seen you in five years!
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Yes, a long time.
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Is that all you have to say?
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You know, the first year you didn't show, I barely noticed they had been so drugged up.
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Ninety-three, ninety-four.
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I still had some mad notion that you might come.
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After that, I gave up hope.
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I'm sorry, Matthew.
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I didn't think you'd care.
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But I'm here now.
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Ah, to do my annual assessment.
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I think we can dispense with that bullshit now, eh?
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But I was assessing your Matthew.
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I know you were for your book.
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For my watch.
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Oh, Nurse Debbie told me not about you, Doc.
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I know what you are.
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Well, you come here.
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You write books about bad people.
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Oh, is that what Nurse Debbie said?
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I write books, yes.
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About forensic pathology.
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And yes, I use case studies, real-life examples, to illustrate my points.
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But as a moral relativist, I refute the idea that any of them are bad people.
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Ah, don't provoke me, Doc.
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I'm not provaricating.
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I'm explaining how Nurse Debbie has misrepresented my work.
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How is Debbie, by the way?
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She must be married to Sekar right now.
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No, he dumped her.
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Did he?
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Not two weeks before the wedding.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, she was gutted.
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She hates him now.
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Stop changing the subject.
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I know why you're back.
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Because you were told to come here by your book, Tingy.
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The book person.
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What do you call it?
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You know, the yoku talks to authors and they're like...
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The agents, the publisher?
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Yeah, them.
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Ah.
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They sent you back here to get something juicy.
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They're gonna scoops so they can sell your trashy book about serial killers.
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What's in it for me, Doc?
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What is in it for me?
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Because I'll tell you what I told the police.
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I won't out of here.
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Ryan's saying nothing about me, Mom Janet or Norton or who Margot really is or any of that.
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So tell me, Doc.
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What have you got to offer me?
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A mockery man-a-meal deal with extra onion rings.
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What?
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Oh, you brought me food.
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Eat up.
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A cheeseburger, chips and a festive red and green slushy all the way from mockery man-a.
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Mockery man-a.
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The park opens at Christmas now, did you know?
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And your JJ is back.
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She's a manager now.
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Alongside, guess who?
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Mr. Parker.
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Who the fuck in Kerdineman?
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Eat, eat, eat.
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You should see the park at this time of year, Matthew.
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Elves, reindeer, endless drizzle,
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sad bits of tinsel draped on every surface,
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cruelleds bored children.
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As magical as wet socks on a frozen day.
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How is the cheeseburger?
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Good.
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You're enjoying the slushy.
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Don't mean I'm gonna tell you anything, Doc.
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I don't want you to, Matthew.
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In fact, I made a decision that might surprise you.
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Might surprise Margot too.
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Because I thought to myself,
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our meeting like this is a total waste of time.
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As I said to Jenkins many years ago,
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a better use of resources would be to neutralize the threat once and for all.
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Jenkins, do you know Jenkins?
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Or at the very least, we should lay it on the line and tell you the truth for God's sake.
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What truth?
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That we will neutralize you if you don't do, as we say.
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What?
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What?
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What are you talking about?
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I will explain.
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Up to now, you've been safe because you haven't told anyone about what really happened at Mox.
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The fact remains that you could have implicated the whole of the Wizard Empire at any given time.
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Wizard? Such a stupid risk.
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You're one of them.
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The problem is he got soft in his old age.
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Who's he talking about?
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Mr. Jenkins, God rest his soul.
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Jenkins is dead?
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Since four years ago.
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Four years.
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And as per Margot, a dangerous amateur.
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So, now I am forced to take things into my own hands.
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Who the heck are you?
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I'm Dr. Gildertello, forensic psychologist, among other things.
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So, you're gonna neutralize me right here, right now.
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No, too many questions would be asked if something happened to you during a session.
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Can you imagine?
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If a ranged summon, for a later.
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Oh, Matty. See, it is a mercy.
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Oh, no, no.
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We're never getting out of here. Do you really want to live like this?
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I'll tell the police.
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Soon as I leave this room, I'll tell them everything.
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Then they'll have to protect me. They're key witness.
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Well, you'll have to get hold of them double quick. No time to lose.
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You're a fackin' well, and...
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What do you mean no time to lose? What have you done?
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There was a large dose of Flunny Trazzaperm in the cheeseburger and the slushy.
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In roughly 20 minutes, you'll start to feel drowsy, disorientated.
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Shortly after which, you'll fall into a deep, deep sleep.
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She would drug the me.
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You can't break the restraints, Matty. Don't bother trying.
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Help! Let me out! She's trying to kill me!
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Nurse! Nurse, open the door!
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Who needs Trazzaperm isn't fatal, Matty. Calm down.
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It's not?
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No.
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Oh, thank God.
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Later tonight, when you are fast asleep,
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a one of my other patients will suffocate you with your own pillow.
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That part is fatal.
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Let me out of here!
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Oh, stop shouting! They'll only come when I press the buzzer,
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which I shall do in about 20 minutes when you fall asleep.
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Wait! What date is it?
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Date?
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What's today's date? I said the 24th. It is. It is, isn't it?
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Oh my God, I can't believe I lost track of the date.
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It barely matters now, Matty.
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What time is it?
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Time for you to calm down.
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Relax into it, Matty.
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Tell me the time.
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Five to seven.
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Seven? Seven? Five to seven?
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If you're thinking it's a bit early for you to go sleepy by,
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that it will arouse suspicion, I assure you.
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It will not. Nobody cares.
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Today of all days, I'm a lucky fella.
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Hurry up, baby! Come and get me!
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You are hysterical.
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Or not hysteria, Doc. Serendipity. That's what they call it.
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Look at the Irish.
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Someone's looking over me!
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Oh, right on cue. That's my girl.
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Do you hear that? A cold red?
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Cold red? Well, doesn't mean anything.
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Hey, Doc. Turn the intercom back on.
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I think you'll want to hear what's happening.
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All right. Maybe I will.
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It makes no difference, of course.
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If the patients are making a ruckus, it will not save you.
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It's more than a ruckus, Doc. It's a riot.
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The security come to the control room.
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Where is everybody?
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You're not the only one who can organize a little violence.
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Locks are unresponsive. I repeat, the locks are unresponsive.
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Someone's bypassed the lockdown protocol.
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On the intercom, who is that?
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All patients, if one of you has taken a security pass,
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you must hand it back immediately.
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Couldn't have done it without inside help, of course.
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You? You organized this?
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You said it first, Doc. I'm a dashing sort of fellow.
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Very charming. Very persuasive.
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The other patients listen to me.
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And nurse Debbie.
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Well, after Zecker broke her, she fell hard for poor old Marty.
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Debbie? Debbie has puffins.
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All staff retreat and wait for authorities do not engage patients.
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Is that... is that sick?
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Debbie? Debbie, get in here quick.
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Oh, talk at the devil.
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Oh, I'm glad we get to hear this.
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Shut the door behind you for God's sake.
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We need to barricade the door. Howie.
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It's important to have shared goals in relationship.
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Me and Debbie, we both want the same thing.
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Freedom from this fricken hole,
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and Zecker's soul violently separated from his body.
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You've got a fire axe.
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Clever girl.
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Debbie, Debbie, what do you do?
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Oh my God.
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Debbie, put that down. Debbie?
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No, no, no, Debbie.
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No!
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Is this because I asked for the ring back?
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Oh!
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You know, you should beat Michael.
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The friend, Doc.
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Aren't you weird?
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She'll be here any second.
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No. She's coming here?
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Of course.
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To get me out.
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Which will be hard in our own self-fac- and sleepy.
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Dammit!
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Your drugs are kicking in.
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Debbie's gonna be a little upset with you, Doc.
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We don't tell her what you did.
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We'll be home for Christmas.
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I know, I think I will leave now,
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but it's certainly not because I'm in any way concerned.
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Wait and see.
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Your girlfriend's little scheme will not work.
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They will contend this, this riot,
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and it will in no way interfere with my plan.
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Debbie.
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You made it.
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No, Debbie.
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I don't believe we've met.
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Who the fuck is this?
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Shit.
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You have been listening to The Matty Tapes,
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a mockery man or miniseries,
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written by Lindsay Sharman,
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and directed by Lindsay Sharman and Lawrence Owen.
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Music, sound design, and editing by Lawrence Owen.
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Lawrence was Matty, Jenkins, Zecker, and additional voices.
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Lindsay was Dr. Tallow and Margot,
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and Beth Eyre was Nurse Debbie.
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Thank you so much for purchasing this miniseries,
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and supporting mockery manor and all of our other podcasts.
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If you'd like to become one of our monthly supporters
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and get access to loads of other fun bits and bobs,
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head back to Ko-Fi and take a look at our subscriptions page.
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Thanks again and we hope to see you in the new year.
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Music, sound design by Michael O'Brien
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You wake up startled in the middle of the night,
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convinced that there's something out there in the darkness.
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Your brain tells you that there's nothing to be afraid of.
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That the inhuman shape in the corner of your room
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is just your laundry piled on a chair.
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But as you hear the ghostly, ragged breathing
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that doesn't belong to you,
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you realize your brain is dead wrong.
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If you love the mix of horror, mystery, and comedy,
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and shows like Buffy, Ash vs. Evil Dead, or Supernatural,
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you'll feel right at home on the Crit Show,
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a monster of the week actual play podcast,
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where the players, playing as themselves,
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are tasked with being the last line of defense
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from the forces of evil that go bump in the night.
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Join us every Wednesday and learn the games we play
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while the gang tries their best to solve the mysteries, hunt the monsters,
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and protect the innocent.
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Their intentions are good, their dice rolls, not so much.
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You can find the Crit Show at thecritshowpodcast.com
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or wherever you listen to podcasts.