Health
Sacred Seats: Rewriting the Guest List
In this episode of the I'my Knuff Mastering Self Love Podcast, Charity B explores the concept of 'Sacred Seats'—the importance of curating the people and habits in your inner circle. ...
Sacred Seats: Rewriting the Guest List
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Interactive Transcript
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Hey y'all, it's your girl Charity B and welcome to the I'my Knuff Mastering Self Love
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Podcast.
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This podcast was designed for both men and women who are in the process are wanting to start
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their self-love journey.
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Here we will discuss many topics related to self-love that promotes healthy habits that
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will help support your mentally emotional health, boost self-confidence and self-work.
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So get ready, this is something you don't want to miss.
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If you like what you hear in this episode, feel free to DM me and leave comments on my Instagram
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page at im.enufmsl.
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The podcast is also available on YouTube, the link will be in my description box as well
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as on my Instagram page.
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Hey y'all, welcome back to the I'my Knuff Mastering Self Love Podcast.
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It's your girl Charity B.
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Oh my gosh, y'all don't understand how long I have been yearning to say that intro.
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I miss it so much.
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I miss you guys so much as well.
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I hope that all it has been well with you and you're still been able to practice your
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self-love and doing your self-love daily activities and just pouring back to yourself.
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I hope that did not stop.
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If so, it's okay, like be happening in priorities change.
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I definitely understand that.
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But I'm back full of fat to help you get back on the right track on your self-love journey.
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If you are new here, welcome to the I'my Knuff Mastering Self Love Podcast.
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I'm glad you decided to take that step in the right direction to learn how to love
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yourself on a deeper level.
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If you are returning guests, thank you so much for tuning in again.
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And I hope each and every one of you hear something today that helps you better yourself
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in the long run.
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And you can use it in your everyday life to further your progress in learning how to
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love yourself on a deeper level.
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With that being said, I guess I'll give you this brief update of where I've been.
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Like I said, for me, priorities have changed.
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I have been working.
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I had been, if you did, you're not aware a couple months ago.
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February, I started another job.
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I was in training for the most part.
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But now with that down to the knitting gritty, I'm out of training.
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So I have a lot of responsibilities and I'm not moving parts and I'm just trying to adjust.
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But I did not forget about you guys.
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My work room and podcast room are in the same area.
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And I kept looking in my little podcast area and I was like, oh my gosh, like I missed
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podcasting.
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And I definitely had some words of wisdom I wanted to share, which I just didn't have
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the time to do so.
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So I was over the weekend, Labor Day weekend.
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I was sitting on my couch on Monday and I was like, hmm, let me try to write
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something out.
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All of a sudden, pin hit the paper and I just started going and I was like, today I'm
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going to record.
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Okay, no matter what, I'm going to get behind this for my record after work.
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And here I am, y'all.
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I was dedicated and here I am.
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I made it.
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But overall, I've been great.
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I have been working on myself.
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I've been pouring back into myself.
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I have been healing.
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I have been trying to overcome obstacles.
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And no, it's not easy.
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It's own roller coaster, but we're here.
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I'm grateful.
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God, brought me this bar.
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God is continuing to bring me through.
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And in the end, like I always say, I know I have blessings waiting on me on the other
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side of this constant roller coaster.
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I'm just blessed and happy to be here despite everything that I've experienced in life or
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in this experience in the past year.
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But with that being said, we're going to go ahead and get right into this constant.
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So if you are listening, please get your blanket, get your water, get your tea, get your
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coffee, whatever it is that you have to be comfortable that will make you comfortable
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and snuggle up and lock in.
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Get a pen and paper as well because you're going to need it.
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And I want to welcome you to Sacred Seeks, rewriting the guest list.
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Now, why are we talking about Sacred Seeks or what does that even mean?
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So Sacred Seeks, regards is regarding to your personal table.
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This is involves the people or the habits or the things that we allow in our personal
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close tight circle, family, friends, associates, co-workers that we keep close.
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Those are the things the people we're talking about.
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Now why are we calling it Sacred Seeks or why is it important that we treat our seat
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sacred?
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Well, I have the answer for you.
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The people you allow at your table, shapes and influence everything.
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Your mindset, your decisions, and the direction of your life.
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So if any of the people who are sitting at your personal table are not right for you,
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it can cause a whole bunch of destruction.
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It can even hinder you and not being able to move further in where you're supposed to
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be.
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I don't know about y'all, but I don't have no more time to waste.
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I have a specific idea of what the future charity is supposed to look like, the thing
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she's supposed to have, the life she's supposed to be living.
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And I have no more time to waste.
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I am 27 years old, three years away from 30.
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Honestly, my birthday is actually in a couple months in January.
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I'm about to be 28.
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I'm going to be down to two years.
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I have no more time to waste to having people who don't no longer serve me and what I am
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trying to do in the person I'm wanting to become.
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So it's important to me, and I hope it's important to you to surround yourself with individuals
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who support your growth, your goals, all for valuable insights, at value to you, provide
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safety and trust and the people that you influence you to be better.
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Also wanted to mention, I feel as though people, I've had different discussions about what
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adding value means.
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And it's not what you can do for me.
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It's not how you can provide.
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It's not about showing up.
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It's more so what can you do for me that helps me grow as a person and betters me as
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a person.
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Same thing vice versa.
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How do I help you grow as a person?
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Is it through the way I love, for the way I care about you, or is it the way that you
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know something that I don't know?
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Do you teach me how to manage my money correctly?
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Do you teach me how to love unconditionally?
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It's things that I can't buy with money or provide myself.
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Yeah, you can go learning to yourself.
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But if you have these people when you're tightening a circle, you're expecting to add
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values to each other to help grow and support you to be a better version of yourself.
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So pay my bills and take me here and there and be in a man or providing.
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That's not adding value for real because without you in my life, I can still pay my bills.
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I can still get to point A point B.
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So adding value is more so how can we teach each other or add some additional knowledge
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to each other's life to help us be better and evolve into the person for some folks to
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be.
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So going back to why it's important that you treat your seats at your personal table
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as sacred because when you think about this, when you give someone access to your table,
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you give them access to your energy, your trust, your most vulnerable thoughts and goals
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you're trying to achieve.
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For instance, you know, people who like, I had a goal, I had an idea or a God gave me an idea
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to do this and this to get to my next step and I open my mouth to soon to the wrong people.
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That's a consequence of, you know, not having the right people at my personal pay table.
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So since we're opening door to that, we're now going to talk about what are the consequences of
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having the wrong people at my table.
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So, so, so, so, so, consequences of having the wrong people at your table is social discomfort.
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This could be, you know, you feel like you have to tiptoe around somebody and you can't say
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how you feel about a certain thing or you can't discuss certain things to that person
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because they might feel some type of way.
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And who wants to do that? That's not your in my space.
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Why would I want to make myself feel uncomfortable or I can't be the person that I am because it
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causes you discomfort? Another way is it causes ruption and I'm balancing dynamics.
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So, strain relationships, you know, problems within your relationship because you're not either
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not supposed to be with that person or not supposed to be around that person but you're trying
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to force something, not even just because you want to force something or because you need them.
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It could be out of the fact that you're a caring person and you try to your,
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your known to be someone that fights for your relationships or frashes because you care,
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which is okay. It's okay to, you know, try. But I always say look, if you keep trying and you try
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different methods and there's nothing that has a different outcome, that means we shouldn't be here.
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Maybe we can read convening a little bit later on in life when we get it together or maybe not.
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Some things are just not meant to work out but that unbalanced in that dynamics or disruption that
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for those who like to keep those people around who mean no good. It also can lead to poor decision
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making. That person thought and mindset that you have at your table or providing the negative
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feedback or not providing feedback that helps you grow into being a better person can help
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can influence you to make decisions that are not healthy or wise for you and your goals or the
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path that you're trying to be on. It also can drain your energy and cause exhaustion, you know.
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Imagine being around people who constantly take, take, take or they're not bringing any positive
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energy to your circle. It can be draining. It can also increase anxiety and depression.
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Cost low self-esteem and self-doubt. You begin to doubt your mindset or your thing correctly
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because there's so busy in putting on what they think and what belief. Their beliefs on you.
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It can cause stress, distorted perception of how relationships are or how they can be,
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for instance, if you're dating someone that's not right for you. If they're acting selfishly
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and moving selfishly about the relationship, if they cheat or do anything that breaks the
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trust, it can cause you to have a different perception of relationships. I can relate off of
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experience. If I've been through a crazy relationship and it was betrayal in there.
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I must admit, sometimes here and there, it creates that perception of how I view relationships
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or how I view being vulnerable. I'm already not a vulnerable person as it is. I feel as though
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I had a good partner in my younger years which taught me how to love unconditionally
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and taught me that it was okay to love and be vulnerable a bit. I thought that that was okay.
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People were opposed to value the type of love I give because that person did but that doesn't
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happen with everybody, especially if they're emotionally incompetent. I guess me expecting the same
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thing from the great guy from someone who just never experienced that. It changes your outlook on
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future relationships. If that makes sense, your body remembers the feeling this felt when you
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were vulnerable or when you decided to be vulnerable. It's something you have to unlearn or try to
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keep talking to yourself daily and pouring yourself to steer or try to knock out those negative
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thoughts about how you view or your perception of relationships. It also can hinder personal growth.
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This is one that I definitely can relate to and I couldn't see it but spiritually when things
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don't align or when that person is doing some crazy stuff, their commerce already happening
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during the relationship or friendship or whatever it is because they do such bad things or
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scandalous things. You being in that person energy or they being in your personal close circle
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can hinder your personal growth and I definitely can see that because I saw this, I left my
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last relationship. I guarantee you not like maybe the next couple of days things started looking
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up for me and I'm not saying they were their cause of a lot of things but I'm just saying like,
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hey the the purpose in the pudding, once you left I was doing just fine and life was looking a
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little bit better, I started feeling better. So yeah, they can hinder your growth because you have
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the wrong people there. Next will be influences can hold you back and it's just proof like it's
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just going to stay. This time think about it now. There are just some doors that some people will
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never or will that were never or never will be worthy of walking through that you are entitled to
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walk through and if you keep letting them hang on your co-tales and keep trying to take them with
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you through the door, you will never get there. Ain't that something that's some crazy stuff. Like you
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probably got some blessings out there that you can't even touch and you probably pran a God every day.
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God please, God please do this and it won't happen because you have somebody at your table
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that either is envious of you jealous or they're just were never worthy enough to walk through
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the same doors that you are. Child, you better you better stop blocking your blessings and let them
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people off them co-tales, cut them all off, snip snip what um. Kate Camp said I don't know if
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cut them off so cut them all off get them scissors and cut them off quickly so you can receive your
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blessings but anyways um some other consequences is sabotage, success, surrounding basically just
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surrounding yourself by the wrong people can derail your dreams career years of unnecessary struggle
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and who wants to deal with that and unfortunately some people have to we have been victim of
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because we were sound around you by the wrong things or the wrong people are there being in the
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wrong environment it did create those unnecessary struggles that we for years that we shouldn't have
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never experienced. So when you get somebody and they're trying to tell you you yank folks for sure
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yank I'm talking about yank folks like I'm not still in my 20s but you younger kids especially
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early 20s 18 to early 20s listen when people that are actually older than you at least 25 and up
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maybe 26 and a listen to what they say because it's never to try to tell you what to do is just
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I would hate to see you go through the same thing I went through because I didn't listen or because
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I didn't know and somebody has taken the opportunity to tell you or to inform you look baby that
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that ain't the way consider it okay it's not it's for your own good because it's nothing like
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some people are able to come about whatever they've been through and some people are not it's nothing
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like not being getting the help or having someone to tell you don't do this or consider that and then
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you get in deep and down down into something and you can't find a way out or you going through hell
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and how water just to get out. So that's just while we over here trying to consider who would
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have said her seats and who don't need to be there so with that being said it's self audit time
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we need to do a little audit to see if we have the right people in our at our personal table
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so here are some questions you need to ask yourself about your table this is where you get that
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pen and paper out first question you to ask do I trust this person with my truth and know that
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they were protected do they bring honesty even when it's uncomfortable when they correct me is
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it to build me or to break me and if you need to go a little bit deeper on that question is the
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advice just mental does the feed that cause you to like feel shame or does it feel as though this
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person is actually trying to help me be better because they want me to be better. Another question
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is do they challenge me to grow do they celebrate my wins without envy do they offer solutions instead
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of just feeding problems to me. M.I.D. most of the dumpster do I feel as this is a one way street
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where that person just continues to talk to me about what they're going through or can I do the
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same thing is this relationship a two way street or M.I. always the one pouring out that one is a good
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because there's always people that try to take take take and don't know how to give and if you
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are this person that you're not sure if you are the one that's taking off the time consider this
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it's not about how you think you're a good family member friend or partner it's about how does
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that person view you are you pouring into them the way that they want to be pouring poured into
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same thing with you are you pouring into the people that are pouring into you are you giving
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them the same amounts of water to help them grow we can't have one side of growth in a any type
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friendship relationship any ship it just won't work somebody's going to always feel
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overused another question you can ask yourself do they bring peace or drama to my life do they
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always call you about some mess what Tiffany doing or what Charley doing at church like do they always
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bring some mess or drama to your life or when you always with them and out do they always
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cause problems versus bring you joy and laughter or you know positive feelings when you're around
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them do you be like oh my gosh this girl again oh my god this dude again like do you feel that way
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also do they respect my values
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even if they don't fully share them and then the final good check questions to ask
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during yourself all the time is if I had to reveal my life tomorrow what I want this person at my table
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if you're unsure about that answer think of it like this go base off your feelings and you're
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you're good if you think about this person not being in your life or not being as close to you
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as they are now will you be comfortable will you be at peace or would you yearn for them because you
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know that day at value to you these are some things that you can ask yourself to do your
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to see if the people at your table are really the ones that need to be at your table now
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sometimes it's not the people at your table you could be thinking like hey that's the person's
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a problem or beg you to problem or hand read a problem sometimes and people don't consider this
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because they're so caught up in they think in there doing just the right thing when it comes to them
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but that may not always be the case you need to sit back do some self-reflection and think could I be
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causing disruption in my own table could I be the drama am I the drama am I the issue do I need
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to do some self-adjustment when it comes to my personal table sometimes it's not about who's at
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the table but about whether we are showing up in ways that causes disruption at our own table
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so we need to do a self-awareness check with ourselves we need to audit our self as well and our
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emotions and how we're handling things some questions you can ask yourself am I demanding
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loyalty from others while not giving it back hold yourself accountable now do I expect honesty
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but struggle to be transparent with myself or be transparent to the people at my table
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do I dismiss perspectives that don't match mine do I say constructive criticism well
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can't be hypocrites out here expecting people to are expecting certain loyalty or expecting certain
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characteristics traits that we don't give and sometimes we think we give them but we don't
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this is why you do the self-awareness check if somebody or multiple people people are saying the same
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thing that you do or how you act in certain situations maybe it's time to just chill out for a second
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think instead of just moving our mouths just to talk and think about what we are putting out then
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we need to check our in our own energy and influence do I bring stress negative
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negativity or drama into the space into my personal table do I bring those negative feelings
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or influences do people leave my presence feeling drained instead of built up and my more focused
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on being right then on being supportive sometimes people just be moving their mouth a lot of us are
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can't be you'll see a that sometimes just not good to just open your mouth and just go sometimes
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you got to sink and be considerate and and see if you're actually being helpful versus hurtful
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and it's not about what you think is right like people think that all time no you can't help me
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and I say this all the time you can't help me how you think I should be helped that is not effective
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if I don't agree if I'm telling you hey I want to be treated like this I want to be carrot like this
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then why not do it or you're not going to get that out of me for an example and this is that's
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all the time I'm a very different type of person like I'm not I don't ask so much I don't complain
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I really be chilling y'all but my thing is if there's conflict I don't already don't like conflict
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but my thing is if there is conflict and we have an issue and we're clearly not getting a solution
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I'm very solution based I will not sit there and argue with you I'm just not that person
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but if I'm telling you hey I need some space and you just keep on going
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eventually I'm gonna tell you I don't care I'm going to get to the point where I'm like okay why
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don't care what you're talking about because I told you to give me space and you're not giving me
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space and it's not when you want to talk it's we both have to be an agreement to talk but if we're
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not seeing out of eye it's point to me to keep talking you know and it's like I just need some space
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if you give me my space in the loaded time that I want to um get my thoughts together because sometimes
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for me it don't even be the fact that I don't want to talk about it it's just the fact that I need
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some time to understand how I feel I'm not an emotional person so like it could be an issue between us
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immediately I will not know how I feel I'll probably be like uh okay like I guess and maybe
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that's an inquirerous thing in me of me or whatever and I know some of y'all probably smack me
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out teeth because y'all probably don't understand but hey that's just how I am at least I have done
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the word to adjust myself to know that I need to take a step back versus being versus being very
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notched a lot in the moment okay so cut me some slack but um that's just one of my things like I
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tell my friends on time give me some space and then we can revisit it when I have a logical
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standpoint of how we can find a solution honestly I think my my way is the best because I don't
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want to see her are you and we're drained and we're not getting anywhere and then this is pointless
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give me my space let me come back and when I'll tell you we can talk about it logically and
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nine to ten my way works so much better anyways girl way weeks arguing for like six hours my way
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we have a logical conversation found a solution in 30 minutes come on now you know but anyways
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that just goes back to say like you have to help people how they they need to be helped
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how they prefer to be helped it's like um their way of loving or I forgot what they call it like
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um their love language is like that you can't love me how you want to love me if it's not
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effective another area that you can check is do you only show up when you need something or do
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you follow through on your commitments to others is the relationship one sided with you
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are taking more are you taking more than you give so are you able to reciprocate the energy
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that are the time effort and energy that that person is giving are you reliable those are some
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things that you need to consider as well when it comes to uh seeing if you're not the problem
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are you able to reciprocate how is your energy and what do you provide how do you quote a quote
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add value when looking at growth and vision um you can also ask yourself do you resist feedback or
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push away people who challenge you to grow um this goes into understanding what like minded people
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being around like minded people and being around right people we're gonna go ahead and describe
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the difference between the two in a minute are you someone who likes to hold onto things that
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make you comfortable or don't like to do things that make you uncomfortable in order to grow
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which is causing you to pull others back from their progress because you're on you're not willing
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to do the amongst uncomfortable things to grow uh or do your insecurities or fears limit the people
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you're sitting around it could be and people don't realize that sometimes that your fears and your
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insecurities or your um not willing to willingness to change can hinder people around you and
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this cannot be intentional it doesn't have to be intentional sometimes man
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because you're so close to certain people it robs off it robs off and that's where it comes into
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play about being around like minded or right people uh like minded people are those that think like
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you they have the same opinions habits beliefs or interests um they often agree with you makes you
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feel more comfortable you it caused you comfort because it's like okay you agree with what I'm doing
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or how I'm handling the situation they don't really give you no pushback um they make come to those
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conversations comfortable that needs to be uncomfortable so they they they have limited resistance
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okay so they breathe they don't challenge you barely that's like for instance hey I want to eat
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healthy right and I'm telling my friend oh I need to heal e healthy dah dah dah dah or like
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say for instance for me example I want to eat healthy change where I eat and I because I have
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peace of us and I want to reverse my PCOS and my friend is like well girl I give what you're saying
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and you should do it then there's one day I come up girl I just want some chicken um from churches
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or I want I just want a piece of cake and she's like well girl you can get a cheat day and we do it
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we do it all this time okay so I think that's just you know normal you think yeah you can get cheat day
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but that's like being around like minded people they're thinking how you're thinking I'm thinking okay
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I want a cheat day I'm just asking you so that you could agree that I need a cheat day and what are
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you gonna do with like minded people they're gonna agree that you need a cheat day when you're
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around the right people um they don't just think like you they bring what you need not what you
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want they challenge you to grow even um when it's it feels uncomfortable and that's the thing about
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growth it's not supposed to be comfortable any type of change should be better requires
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uncomfortability um when you're around right the right people they celebrate your wins when
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you know if you're not saying they're like people like minded people do this um like they envy you
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but they celebrate your wins with um without being jealous and then check you when you are slipping
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um they may not always agree with you but they always want the best for you so they add perspective
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the that balance and accountability that you need in order to be better it's like your therapist
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or like your dietitian for me it was like it's like my dietitian I see a dietitian now and I
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saw I said I just wasn't like to hold me accountable and to make sure like hey charity yeah I get this
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but you said you wanted to do this so why are you not making that Alfred or putting that that
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the best foot forward to to make that effort to change even when it feels uncomfortable or when
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it feels like you're too tired to to eat better which is normal you're going to be tired but
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be tired in your new body that you work hard for versus be tired and still be where you're at
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we're at two years ago you see what I'm saying it just goes to show when you are around like minded
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people you risk um the fact that you're supported but you're not being stretched enough you're not
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being held accountable you're not getting that balance that you need to be better you're still
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going to be in the same place because you're around like minded people you need to get around the
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right people those that are unfamiliar those are that are different that kind of think different
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from you I am one of the people that I attract a little bit towards those who are not like me
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in so many areas because you show me a different perspective and if that's surrounding my stuff
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around people that I want to not be like but I want to have character risk traits like them
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that would help me want to move in the direction to be different or to move different or to obtain
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the habits that I want to eventually have myself or the characteristic traits that I want to have
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myself or that I see my future self having and that's the difference of being around you know
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like minded and right people and based off of that little comparison we just did here's a little
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podcast and I get that I want you to keep in mind the right people who clap for you ain't always the
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ones that want to help you climb to where you need to be or to reach that goal like my mind the
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people make you feel good but the right people will make you better and I don't know about
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minded people alone yeah it's good to have you around but if you're hindering me you you have to
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get up from this table so we're gonna make a seat for the right minded people and lead these like
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minded people on outside of the table looking in I guess they're gonna have to see the growth I guess
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maybe actually step a few you gotta say 50 feet away from my table because I don't need you to
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scratch and drop a little dust on my table and that negativity starts to sprout in my area so
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yeah stay stay over there stay over there but um um some signs I know since now we know we talked
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about um what are the consequences of having the wrong people at your table or some things you can
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act yourself to evaluate who is at your table if they're right for your table or if you need to
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evaluate yourself to make sure you're leading your table correctly um you can need to also notice
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the signs when your table might start to be off or it might be off um sometimes could be like
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chronic drama it's gossip or chaos or the energy is just it's not there the energy feels
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draining you don't even want to come sit at the table you actually would prefer to go to your room
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and each one meal inside your in your bedroom versus sit at the table with the people that you
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close have near you um it also could be like the relationships feel one sided you just feel like
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hey I'm someone that always shows up a thousand percent but when it comes to me I don't feel as though
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I'm getting the same thing back um and it it's it's it's kind of those
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hard conversations but we're gonna get there I'm not gonna just jump the gun I'm gonna
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mention the other two um it also could be like you're feeling unsupported in personal growth or
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life vision it could be your own contributions to your table do you bring value to your table or
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you bring in chaos to your own table you know those are just some signs that it might be off and
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just because your table was off it doesn't mean that oh because maybe one out of the four things
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that I mentioned um if this is happening that person has to be removed from my table some things
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um might just we cause a little for revision a little conversation a little communication
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doesn't mean just hey get up from my table you don't this one sided or get it from my table
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is too much drama chaos energy can be transferred maybe that person is going through something and
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it's rubbing off they can't be show up a hundred percent maybe they got their own things going on
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but his life happens it sometimes it can be like a little conversation hey I feel as though
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this relationship is one sided I'm not getting the same things you used to provide at the beginning
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of this friendship or this relationship and we need to sit down and talk about it to see how
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we can make a difference and actually put pen to paper and foot to action and make those changes
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in order to better our relationship um so it's just those and it could be uncomfortable um I have
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been someone that I had to have those hard conversations with and like I said I don't really like
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conflict um and I don't like uneasiness and stuff but sometimes those conversations need to be had
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and this was maybe over a year back I felt when I went through what I went through losing my mom
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I it changed my brain chemistry um and I always said this and I always meet before all of that
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happen I feel like I was always maybe a step ahead of the people I was around and I don't know if
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it's because my mom was a little bit more mature or that I think of things not just from one side
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or two sides I try to think of every different angle and I try to think of head of what the outcome
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would be for each angle um and it allows me to be able to select the right path that I'm supposed
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to select that doesn't cause me any pain trauma or hindrance to my life um so I don't know I had
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felt like there was just an unbalanced in my close knit circle and I had went through a lot and
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I felt that when you go through stuff it shows you what you could or not be getting and I had a
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conversation with my friends and I was just like you know I just feel like if we don't get it together
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man I don't know how long I would be in this circle and I definitely think that it was needed to say
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I had got to my last end um love my friends down they're they're very supportive but in that
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instance I just felt as though I needed to surround myself with other people that I think
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added valued me um or more value not saying they didn't add value but the situation that hand
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it's just something that needs to be changed so we had a conversation that we if it was long overdue
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we hadn't had a long conversation or like a real conversation as far as how we can add values
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with each other as friends you know you grow with some people and you're close to those people
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you you've been around them for so long it's just like okay this is what's comfortable
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but at some point in your growth process and I think everybody experiences it's at some point
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it's like okay well I need some seed change or I need to see better or this is just not going to
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work but at the end after having that conversation it definitely my friends definitely put their
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best before it and made the changes that I think they should have made in order for our friendship
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to continue to prosper and feel as though we're all watering each other um for me can't speak on
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everybody else behalf um we haven't had a conversation since but I know life things be going on
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so you probably not even thinking about that but um for me on my behalf I feel as though things
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definitely change for what I was looking for so I say have those hard conversations man even
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when a fist with your partner especially a fist with your significant other okay especially
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visit with your family friends can go home today house you know unless you talk to them every day
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but family and significant others that somebody you talk to probably every day you you don't live with
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them they dissolve in your face and it doesn't matter if you try to keep avoiding a situation it's
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going to keep popping up especially if it's destined or it needs to happen it's need it's something
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important that needs to change or this dynamic won't work anymore uh especially with family sometimes
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they want to take take take and bar bar bar because they think we blood but just because we blood
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that on me that you have to overuse me for your advantage because we were put on this earth and
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and Dean family because you can make a family you all and you know you can make your own family
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your friends could be more of a family than your own family so don't let that hinder you
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from bettering your environment environment or changing your environment for the better
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or your energy protecting your energy yet you can still love somebody and not be around on
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if it makes you happier or it contributes to you better than do it okay don't ask me because
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I'm going to tell you to do it just do it okay now with all that being said I hope that just
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off that little this little conversation or even this little it's not even a conversation because
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I'm the only one talking but um just off this episode or just off the information I've already
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discussed so far I hope that you're able to really sit back and think or it makes you think
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I need to do some consideration and it's time for self audit some things have been off
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and I think it's time to do some re-evaluation about my own personal table if my seats are
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sacred or I need to start treating my seats like as if they're sacred to better my environment my
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energy or if it helps my mindset my decisions in the direction of my life I know I need to put my
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foot down and do this audit then do it you know some things I just want you to take away from this
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episode are to take away as a whole on what you need to consider your table is limited
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there are only so many chairs this means that every seat matters so we just can't have
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any and everybody around just because we care about them not everybody that we care about cares
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about us in the same manner and doesn't want us to see that see us do better and I promise you if
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you keep having these people at your table whether it's your mom sister brother cousin best friend
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boyfriend girlfriend um regular friend close friends co-workers that are friends are just
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co-workers if you keep having these people around that don't want to see you be a very best
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you're never going to get there and like I said these are Blair blessings out there that you're
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supposed to be receiving that you're never going to get because you surround yourself both people
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that are not the right people they're only like minded people okay treat those seats
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sacred or treating those seats sacred ensures you don't hand in fluent time or access to someone
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who hasn't who has not earned the right to be there why would I want to give somebody access
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to everything I work hard for what time that I can't give back energy that I can't get back to
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someone who hasn't even earned the right to give their input it's not about being harsh it's about
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being intentional I want to surround myself about people who consider me or that is intentional
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I love myself I can't speak for everybody else but my friends will tell you charity has self-confidence
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and self-worthness on a whole nother level I value myself I put myself on a pedestal it don't matter
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what nobody did to me I always tell y'all that nothing that happens to me nobody else think I know
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what I bring to a table as a woman I know what characteristics I trade I have that betters
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other people that betters life or anybody that comes around me I know who I am I am who I think I am
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therefore I know what I deserve with that being said and I deserve nothing but the best so I refuse
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me as a person to center myself around anybody that doesn't want to see me win or treats me as though
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they don't want to see me win because there's a difference people be saying I care about you or you
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always have placed in my heart hold time their actions say something different you treated me like
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how you would treat yourself sir or man you treated me how you think about yourself so you don't
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care about me not seriously or not for real so you got to get away from my table then we're
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and then also thinking about protecting your table isn't about filtering others out only that don't
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benefit your circle or your table it's about checking yourself as well because sometimes the seat
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we need to evaluate most carefully is our wrong so keep that in mind that it doesn't have to be
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just the people around you it could be you you could be the drama remembering that iron sharp
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ends iron I can't have a door knife trying to sharpen a sharp knife the door knife would be the only
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knife that gets sharpened and that sharp knife will become dull and we would not be able to use
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a door knife to cut through anything that knife is battling me making and then in the end I need you
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to remember that the voices that are closer to you or that's closest to you often echo the loudest
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inside of you so if you're getting somebody who keeps talking in your ear or you'll never get
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that far or you'll never do that girl I don't think you can do that you're gonna believe that you
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can't do it you're gonna think that you're not worthy of meeting that goal or doing that or making
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it happen if you get Sonia however I show in and you start just thinking about your own self or
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your own opinions or what you think you can do or believe you can do it if you put your mind to it
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and you get that devil demon audio ear you gonna be able to do it all you need to do is remove
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whoever isn't it's talking to you and trying to belittle you or make you feel less than that you're
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not able to achieve what you know you can it as you remember that it's easier to make something that
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is clean dirty versus making something dirty clean if I have a pile of clothes that have nothing
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but a whole bunch of dirt on it and I put a clean shirt in there that shirt is going to get dirty
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before it gets clean you cannot surround your people self around people that you feel comfortable
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or that you feel like this is my comfort place because they can relate to me you're never going to
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progress or become the woman or man that you're wanting to be or that you see yourself being
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that you will never have those characteristics you'll never be able to really accomplish the best
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version of yourself if we stay around like 90 people okay so with all this being said and with all
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those main points that I have written went over with you again that you need to keep in mind
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please let's take a look at our table time is limited stop wasting time the more time you waste the more
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that longer those people stay at your table the more chaos will be going on in your life
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put your foot down and have those hard conversations and let's protect our sacred seats okay
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all right y'all next time y'all have to be I better have re-evalued them seats now I'm just
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slaying but no it's real I just want you to be better and I want y'all to evolve into the people
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that you're supposed to be you know each and every one of you you deserve it if you're listening
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and I know you want to be better I know you want better because you're listening and trying to
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better yourself so do yourself a favor and actually put in the work because nobody else is going to
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do it for you by time you look up especially my young adults by time you look up you're almost 30
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because you wasted so much time on that boy or that girl or that young lady or young man let's say
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that that did not add no value to you and did not promote you to be a better version of yourself
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and while you looking up you're going to be at your late 20s like okay my 20s are for me
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and it's never too late because I am there my 20s are for me and I'm having a lovely time
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I am the happiest I've been in years single if we can prevent all this if we can put on you know
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we can put our best foot forward then why not do it while you're young so you can avoid all this
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extra stuff beginning me I'm different so don't don't worry about me I'm just learning but yeah
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no I evolved and a lot of things I went through is because I had to make me a better person
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and shout she is coming but anyways that's all I have for you guys today I definitely look forward to
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talking to you guys again and giving you some great content I don't know what's next but
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we're gonna have to we're gonna have to open a little bit since we talked about some sacred seats
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today don't forget to like comment subscribe and turn on your post notifications as well as
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follow my Instagram page at im.enufmsl okay go ahead and hit that follow button if you want a DME
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because there was something that you heard that you can relate to or if you just want to let me know
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anything about the podcast doesn't have to particularly be about this episode please feel free to
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DM me I love love love when you guys reach out to me and makes my heart warm um I code small heart
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heart besides of a grant just plan so that is definitely one of the things that makes my heart
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grow so if you feel like you want to reach out to me and let me know anything pertaining to yourself
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low journey or just getting to know you please reach out um looking forward to that and just
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aside know before I let you go I have a big project I have been working on for this platform um
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maybe two years ago I had started I had stopped but like I'm telling you I don't know what happened
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Labor Day weekend I put my head in the Bible I had um read me a scripture six of notes I prayed
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I reached out cry God and all of a sudden I got right back on it and yesterday and today even
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when I was at work don't tell my job but I was um working on a project so I am I am dedicating
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myself to finish it by the end of the year it may not be ready by the end of the year but hold me
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to a y'all end of the year the project should be done um I actually have been putting a lot of work
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into a lot of thought into it and I am definitely motivated to finish it I'm determined so
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look out for that keep that in mind I'll mention it down the road I'll put it on my calendar so I
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won't forget but um it was a pleasure as always y'all keep loving yourself keep protecting your
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energy keep pouring into yourself and protecting those sacred seeds all right y'all all right talk
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to you next time bye