From “Yes Man” Bosses to Conflicting Feedback: We Answer Your Career Advice Questions

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 You asked, so we answered.

spk_0 That's right, you all write into per my last email at MorningBrew.com all the time.

spk_0 We love it and we respond to every listener email.

spk_0 So today our producers compiled a few questions that are relevant to everyone.

spk_0 And we're going to answer them live on this episode. Let's get into it.

spk_0 Kyle, you know that I've been a bit of a cramudge in about using AI.

spk_0 Yeah, I'm aware judging by the side eye you give me every time I bring it up.

spk_0 But honestly, I'm starting to worry that I've avoided it for so long that I'm getting left behind.

spk_0 You're not alone. A lot of people feel like they've missed their shot with AI or other tech.

spk_0 But it's never too late. It's about taking that first step.

spk_0 Okay, but where do I even start?

spk_0 You start by making it part of your routine.

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spk_0 Learning how to apply them to the work you already do.

spk_0 I actually just took the AI for business leaders course and it gave me so many practical ways

spk_0 to start using AI right away.

spk_0 See, that's exactly what I need.

spk_0 Then check out you to me.com slash personal dash plan.

spk_0 That's you dm y dot com slash personal dash plan and use code PMLE 14 for a free 14 day trial

spk_0 of personal plan. Their annual learning subscription on us at checkout.

spk_0 That's you to me.com slash personal dash plan and code PMLE for your free trial.

spk_0 Kayla, let's get right into it. Question number one.

spk_0 I would love some advice on how to navigate conflicting communication styles and expectations

spk_0 in the workplace. I may like my job just fine and my bosses or colleagues are great people.

spk_0 But sometimes I find myself just not clicking with them despite being a proactive communicator.

spk_0 Some tips or advice on how to get on the same page or work past differences in communication

spk_0 styles would be fantastic. Thank you Megan for the thoughtful question.

spk_0 Kayla, help making out here. This is a so interesting of a question because I think it's

spk_0 two different problems here. Number one, the first problem is that they're not clicking.

spk_0 And the second problem is that their communication styles are different.

spk_0 And I think maybe that is one problem in two different ways of it coming.

spk_0 What? That sounds like one problem to me.

spk_0 It's so interesting because that sounds like two different problems.

spk_0 I would tackle those two things very differently.

spk_0 All right, just edit me out.

spk_0 No.

spk_0 So there's two different problems here.

spk_0 I think it's the communication styles are different, which is a completely

spk_0 addressable option or problem. Like 100%. We got this.

spk_0 And then there's the not clicking, which is like maybe you guys have different personalities.

spk_0 And that's not there's something that's like not jelling.

spk_0 You're not feeling friendly with that person.

spk_0 And both things can exaggerate the other.

spk_0 Like I can feel worse about not clicking when I feel like our communication styles aren't jelling.

spk_0 But I think the easiest thing to do is to understand what is your

spk_0 colleague or boss's communication style.

spk_0 Identify that. That could be for example, very direct.

spk_0 That could be they much prefer text communication over, you know,

spk_0 in-person communication or video communication.

spk_0 Identifying that and then making the effort to find or to meet them where they are.

spk_0 I think especially if you feel like you're not jelling, that's the best thing you can do.

spk_0 For example, I'm somebody that I just I think it's so annoying when you get like a,

spk_0 hey, quick question. And then they don't say anything.

spk_0 Like hello. Yeah, what's the question? Like tell me I'm getting anxious here.

spk_0 Or say can I ask you a question?

spk_0 Like yeah, you can ask me a question.

spk_0 Would you like to ask me another?

spk_0 So that I find very annoying. But for me, what's better is like, let's just

spk_0 just swing by my desk. And let's just like hammer this out.

spk_0 If somebody felt like I wasn't communicating well with them and they really wanted to make

spk_0 that first like reach out the olive branch, they should swing by my desk and have a conversation

spk_0 with me. Yeah. And then hopefully from there, once that relationship starts to strengthen,

spk_0 they'll do the same for you as well. Now, the not the not jelling, the not clicking,

spk_0 that's a harder problem to solve. What do you think?

spk_0 I agree with your advice. I think it's great advice. I'm the not clicking part. I do think if

spk_0 you solve the communication problem, you're more likely to click. And I think just in general,

spk_0 like I believe in like contact theory, like the more times you're with people working on

spk_0 stuff together, communicating clearly, most people will end up liking each other. So fix the

spk_0 communication. I do think that clicking then will come into effect. If it doesn't like, yeah,

spk_0 you know, there are your colleagues. You don't need to be best friends with them.

spk_0 My only other addition to the advice you've doled out is I do think that our default is to articulate

spk_0 things in a way that resonate with us. And so you do have to get very clear about not just communication

spk_0 styles, but like how your boss and your colleagues are convinced of things. You might be very

spk_0 analytical and you need to see the numbers. They might be very big, big picture. How does this fit

spk_0 into our vision? And you need a massage like that. And when we go to convince someone else,

spk_0 we use the thing that convinced us as default. That isn't necessarily the thing that will convince

spk_0 them. So get really, really good at that. The other thing you have to be kind of cautious about is

spk_0 the best way to understand someone's communication style is for them to tell you or for them to

spk_0 give you feedback on why your things like aren't resonating with them. And I think sometimes

spk_0 it can be tough to give off the perception to others that you are welcoming that feedback.

spk_0 So a great first step might just be going to that person and saying, hey, I want to make sure

spk_0 that what I'm creating for you is landing in the right way. And in past roles, I've seen where

spk_0 communication styles really important in that. Like how do you like to be communicated with? And

spk_0 what are you looking for when you're making a decision? Just make the implicit explicit. And I think

spk_0 that will go a long way. Yeah, I like that. And I think if you're a manager in that situation,

spk_0 creating kind of like an about me or how to work best with me. Yes. Like I think it was Claire

spk_0 Hughes Johnson. Claire Hughes Johnson and former CEO of shape. Yeah, she created this basically like

spk_0 this about me, how to work with me PDF. Yep. That she would send out to everyone when they first

spk_0 started. That I think is a really good resource for everyone to kind of have in the bank.

spk_0 If I'm running into questions and or I'm running into conflicts potentially, I don't know how to

spk_0 work with you. I can just use that refer back to that. And that's a really nice way to make the

spk_0 implicit explicit. Yeah, it's a great, great piece of advice. And maybe you just have like a meta

spk_0 meeting about communication styles after you've created that. Get all on the same page. And then

spk_0 things will start clicking from there. Megan, great question. And let us know if that device worked

spk_0 out for you. Should we go to the next? Let's do it. Hey, Tom Kayla. I absolutely love per my last

spk_0 email. So I'm hoping you can help me with something I've been struggling with. So I work as an

spk_0 event in social media marketing specialist at a local card dealership here. And I've been with

spk_0 a company for less than two years. But lately, my weekly meetings and my one-on-ones with my boss

spk_0 have been turning more negative and it's starting to affect my confidence. So every time I go into

spk_0 these meetings, I feel anxious because I know I'm going to get feedback that's going to be tough to

spk_0 hear. For example, he always says things like don't tell me what I want to hear or why are you doing

spk_0 it this way instead of that way. Even though the expectations were clearly given earlier in the year,

spk_0 what's frustrating is that expectations seem to change constantly. When I follow them, I get

spk_0 reprimanded for not being more free or creative or not acting like an owner, which is one of our

spk_0 principles. It feels like I'm being told to do one thing, then punished when I follow through.

spk_0 I know I have areas I need to work on, but I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle trying to meet changing

spk_0 expectations and getting conflicted in feedback. My question is this. How do I turn the situation

spk_0 around and use the feedback to grow without letting it demotivate me? Any advice you can give

spk_0 on navigating through this feedback and saying focus on my growth would be incredibly helpful.

spk_0 I really want to make the most of my time hearing and accomplish as much as I can before deciding

spk_0 what's next. Thank you so much. Isabel, what the heck, girl? That voice don't make my heart warm.

spk_0 That is amazing. That is amazing. But you said that Isabel said she loves

spk_0 her most. We love you as well. This is great. This is probably something that most people

spk_0 struggle with. It's like you're giving me feedback. I'm taking it to heart. Then your feedback

spk_0 changes. All of a sudden, I'm being reprimanded for doing the thing you asked me to do.

spk_0 That's very, very frustrating and hard to get out of. My initial thoughts immediately went to

spk_0 structuring the one-on-one in a way that maybe will allow you to have the conversations. It sounds

spk_0 like you want to have with your manager. But maybe there's just not space or it feels a little

spk_0 awkward. I would set up the one-on-ones where you have a consistent schedule document that you go

spk_0 through. Inside of that document, again, if your manager is okay with it, but if they're not,

spk_0 like you probably should have this conversation, a section where they can give you feedback,

spk_0 what's working and what's not, but also a section where you can give them feedback on how they're

spk_0 managing you. Again, frame this all in. You want to do the best work. You want to have a great

spk_0 relationship and a two-way feedback is going to be very helpful because in the best view of this,

spk_0 your manager just doesn't understand what they're doing. They're not connecting the dots that

spk_0 you have. They're telling you to do this. You do it, but then they have a complaint. So give them

spk_0 the opportunity to hear that feedback from you and see if their behavior changes. I'm hopeful that

spk_0 it will. If you have this structure, you can keep coming back to it if you need to. If you provide

spk_0 them feedback and the behavior doesn't change, then you're in a tougher spot. But that's where you

spk_0 have to decide, is it worth the stay at the company or should I be looking for other opportunities?

spk_0 Yeah, and I think one other unexpected or unintended benefit of having a running doc like this

spk_0 is that you have written proof of feedback that you've received in the past. So if your boss is saying

spk_0 you need to follow these instructions to a T and you were too out of the box and didn't follow

spk_0 these instructions. And then next week, their written advice is you need to be more creative and

spk_0 free and think like an owner. You can point back to their previous statement and say, okay,

spk_0 so can you tell me exactly what it is about this activity that you think I should have done

spk_0 differently and how I could have changed it this time to agree with your feedback? I also think that

spk_0 hopefully that'll allow them to kind of understand that they're giving inconsistent feedback.

spk_0 But something else that you could do is in those one-on-ones, ask for the positive examples

spk_0 even when you're receiving negative feedback. So if your boss is saying you're not thinking like

spk_0 an owner or you're not being creative enough, if you say to them, listen, this is the process

spk_0 that I've been told to follow. How would you be creative about this so that I can learn from your

spk_0 example? This kind of gives them a little bit of an ego boost. Like, wow, you really care what I

spk_0 think. And also it kind of subtly points out maybe a little bit of the hypocrisy of the feedback

spk_0 and they might walk that back eventually. The last thing I'll say is I heard this quote from a

spk_0 former boss of mine that I thought was really powerful and it was, do you want to be right or do

spk_0 you want to be successful? And so I would ask yourself the question, like, is this damaging the

spk_0 relationship? Are you still getting to a good final product even if the feedback feels a little

spk_0 inconsistent? If you're still getting to a good spot and you have a great relationship with your

spk_0 manager and yeah, the feedback's a little inconsistent. Like, maybe it's just not worth worrying

spk_0 about that because like things are still looking good. And I've worked with people who like, they give

spk_0 you some feedback and you go and then they give you some more feedback that feels a little hypocritical.

spk_0 But like, they're kind of trying to calibrate where they're driving this this project to. And I

spk_0 don't think it's the end of the world. So if you're getting to a good spot, you have a good relationship

spk_0 with your manager. Maybe this is like something that you have a casual conversation about, but you

spk_0 don't get too worked up about. If it is like, they're not happy with the work and it's damaging

spk_0 the relationship, then you certainly need to have a difficult conversation. Yeah, I agree. Especially

spk_0 if this is giving you, you know, anxiety or you're feeling anxious about every single meeting.

spk_0 That's also not good. That's good point. That's what she brought up. So it sounds like it is

spk_0 damaging the relationship. It's not putting you in a good headspace to get work done and to maintain

spk_0 that relationship with your manager builds up resentment. It's a really, really hard situation

spk_0 that you're in. And I really feel for you is about so let us know how it's how it's going

spk_0 any decisions that you make because I'm dying to hear your updates here. Yeah, your team PMLE now.

spk_0 Yeah. And we'll be right back after this.

spk_0 This episode is brought to you by our sponsor, Granola, which is awesome because Granola is one of

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spk_0 Okay, back to the show. Let's go to question number three.

spk_0 All right, I have a friend who's struggling with something I think a lot of early career

spk_0 professional space. Understanding what jobs like marketing, sales, strategy, ops, growth,

spk_0 partnerships, etc. actually look like day to day when you've never worked in them. For example,

spk_0 she majored in business at Northeastern, great school, but said, why don't I know the difference

spk_0 between what I'd be doing in an entry-level marketing role versus sales? Why didn't they

spk_0 teach us this in college? From there, she asks things like, where do you even start when you could go

spk_0 in multiple directions? What job titles should you actually be searching for? How do you choose between

spk_0 these paths without firsthand experience to guide you? What skills and personality traits thrive in

spk_0 each and how much do these roles change depending on industry or company structure? Start up versus

spk_0 corporate consultancy versus agency versus in house. And this is from Kate. Damn. That's a good question.

spk_0 That's a deep question. And I think we could start an entire other separate podcast to answer all

spk_0 of these questions. So we're going to do just that announcement. I'll take a crack at it. Sure.

spk_0 I want to hit on the part where they're like, oh, they didn't teach me this in college.

spk_0 I think that is a feeling that pretty much every single early career professional has,

spk_0 myself included when they start their career. When I tell you, I had no idea. No idea how business

spk_0 has worked. I was doing AmeriCorps. I was a philosophy political science major. If you told me what

spk_0 corporate finance is, I think I would like have an annual. I had no idea. So that is an okay place

spk_0 to be. This is what I did to help me understand that when I first came to like a real,

spk_0 quote, unquote, real job at Morning Brew. I literally the first thing I would do is go look at an

spk_0 org chart. And at Morning Brew, you can go into our system, Bamboo. You can actually download the

spk_0 entire org chart that will lay out who works in sales, who works in marketing, who works in finance,

spk_0 and look at that. And then I would just pick a person from each business unit and message them and

spk_0 say, hey, I work in X. And I'm really curious about how the marketing org functions and the work

spk_0 that you're doing specifically mainly because like I'm new here and I want to better understand

spk_0 how all these pieces fit together. Could we have a coffee for 30 minutes and you walk me through

spk_0 that? One, you're going to learn a lot about how these functions actually work from the people in

spk_0 them. Two, you're going to develop super strong relationships across the organization that is going

spk_0 to help you do your job better. And three, if you do leave, you're going to have this new kind of

spk_0 scaffolding and this new knowledge where you understand how marketing and sales and finance all relate

spk_0 to each other. And that's going to allow you to be even better in any new roles going forward. So I

spk_0 think starting there is a really, really good spot and is going to get you 90, 90% of where you want

spk_0 to go. Yeah. And I think also like the reality is you're never going to know everything, right? Like the

spk_0 how does sales look at, you know, consulting firm versus an agency versus in house versus media,

spk_0 versus finance? Like every single one of those categories, that industry or role is going to look

spk_0 different. So you there's maybe something comforting about knowing that you're never going to have

spk_0 the answers. You're never going to know exactly what every single thing looks like before you make

spk_0 your first job decision. What I think makes sense to me at least if I was starting over is identifying

spk_0 one of those, whether it's industry or role or, you know, function, whatever and try to go across,

spk_0 like understand what that landscape looks like as you're looking for a job. So for example,

spk_0 if you're looking at marketing and you really want a wide breadth of experience, you aren't like,

spk_0 I really want to market for a healthcare company. Maybe that's something that okay, where can I get

spk_0 the widest number of data points? That's probably at an agency that's working with a lot of different

spk_0 marketing clients. So that's what then I would try to do for my first internship or my first job.

spk_0 If you're like, I know I want to be an oil and gas, which like, great for you.

spk_0 Then, you know, it doesn't matter what industry or what role you're in necessarily because the industry

spk_0 is what matters to you. So then you just look at the job pages that like Exxon or something.

spk_0 And so I think if you hone in on the one thing that is important to you, the all the other things

spk_0 you'll figure out, but you can't just like know exactly of all those three stratifications,

spk_0 like which dot is perfect for you. You have to just choose one access.

spk_0 Yeah, and you mentioned dots and I think a general principle that you should follow for career

spk_0 is early in your career, you want to collect as many dots as possible. And you know, you're

spk_0 asking all these big questions like, yeah, you just need to go out and experience things. And then

spk_0 as your career progresses, you tend to focus in narrow and narrow and you start connecting the dots

spk_0 and bring a really unique value proposition to whatever your final employer might be. So Kate

spk_0 asks his friend, I hope that advice was helpful. Let us know how your dot collecting goes. And let's

spk_0 move on to question number four. It's good. Hey, y'all. Love the podcast. I have a question. I want to

spk_0 know where you both stand on the issue of whether to decorate your office space, cubicle space, whatever

spk_0 or not. I know this seems like a frivolous question, but I don't know how whether or not decorating

spk_0 affects someone's career. Do people really care or is it just not as important? I'd like to know

spk_0 what you think. Thanks. About the good work. Bertie, I love you. I thought you was going to be like

spk_0 hot button political issue. What's your take? I was like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. What's going on here?

spk_0 No, this is a great question. And I actually think I have what's your desk looking like? My desk,

spk_0 maybe we'll take a picture of it and shut it. It's pretty messy. It's pretty messy. In fact,

spk_0 I was just thinking about it this morning. I was like, I think I need to clean my desk. I have a

spk_0 lot of decorations on my desk. And I think it's great. One person's trash is another person's

spk_0 okay, I collect. We have a, we have a, we have funny, we have funny people here at Morning Brew.

spk_0 And because I work in part on merch, I get to create some funny merch. So I have that kind of

spk_0 all over the place. Stickers, like postcards, flyers. And I love it. I also am on the floor with all

spk_0 of the like creatives. And so first, I would like to note that my desk is not the messiest on our floor.

spk_0 That's true. That's true. And that mine is not the most decorated. So I think my advice for you,

spk_0 Birdie, is to read the vibes of your office. If there is not a single family photo as far as the

spk_0 I can see, maybe you can put a little thing up. But for the most part, I wouldn't go crazy. I

spk_0 wouldn't, you know, start adding wallpaper to the cubicle. But, you know, you can always, you

spk_0 know, whatever. I don't think it's that serious. But if everyone is decorating, then yeah, I think

spk_0 you can and should. But it is interesting. It's actually a bigger question than like one would

spk_0 think. Yeah. Because it's like, yeah, how much of your personality do you bring into the every

spk_0 day environment in your office? Yeah, well, if we can again, that would be a whole separate part.

spk_0 We start talking about personality, different personalities at work. It is funny at Morning Brew.

spk_0 There's two floors, the third floor and the fourth floor. The third floor tends to be the creatives,

spk_0 the content creators, the writers. There's a putting green in between two of the desks. It's

spk_0 very fun. And then upstairs is like the biz ops people and sales people. And the desks are fun,

spk_0 but it's a little more buttoned up. So it is. There's some picture. It's pretty fun like walking

spk_0 between the floors. Look, Birdie, I would say never have I ever been in a meeting discussing

spk_0 like a promotion or should we hire this person? And someone's been like, well, I think it's important

spk_0 what their desk looks like. So I don't think it matters that much. Maybe there's some industries

spk_0 where it matters more. In my experience, it's never mattered. So my advice would be do what makes

spk_0 you comfortable and is going to put you in the best position to do the best work. And that's

spk_0 ultimately what's going to be judged. If you are coming into the office often, it's very helpful,

spk_0 I think, to decorate and be comfortable and have all the things you need. So that would be my advice.

spk_0 But I don't think it's career critical to get this question right. Do what makes you comfortable?

spk_0 Yeah. And the only other thing I'll say about this is something that we've mentioned quite a few

spk_0 times, which is you never want to be the main character. That is a great point. So if you know,

spk_0 you I think are allowed to express your personality, your, you know, recreational skills as much as

spk_0 you want. But just remember that if you do something that is maybe way outside of the norm in your

spk_0 office, that you might be the main character for a day. And if you're okay with that, then that's

spk_0 right. Don't put like a six foot naked statue of David. Okay. Or or depends on your vibes.

spk_0 I don't know. Maybe you're in an art museum. Yeah. Maybe you're in our museum. I, you know

spk_0 what I would love to see is I would love to see somebody who puts up that 12 foot skeleton

spk_0 from Home Depot next to their office. I would fly in Morning Brew. I think actually,

spk_0 or that would fly. I don't think our ceilings are 12 feet high, but that would be pretty fun.

spk_0 You got to bring this in. Bertie, I have one request for you. If you do decide to decorate your

spk_0 desk, take a picture. Send us in. We want to let the audience know where you ended up. But thank

spk_0 you for the really fun question. Let's move on to the next one. Let's do it. I wanted to see if

spk_0 you could make an episode dedicated to navigating an entry level job and how to motivate yourself

spk_0 during the quote unquote fluff. I don't have a lot of work. And when I do get work, it feels

spk_0 unimportant, though I know it is a stepping stone. That's from Tanya. And that's a feeling we can

spk_0 relate to. Kayla, I feel like maybe you had this experience in banking. Yeah. I could be wrong.

spk_0 Yeah. Well, what I was doing was high stress and low impact. Because it was a lot of stuff

spk_0 that like literally it was like the most urgent thing I was doing. I needed within 20 minutes to

spk_0 have written like let's say 150 numbers from a PDF. Look at them and type them into an Excel

spk_0 spreadsheet. It felt it was very urgent and it was important. But in terms of like thinking,

spk_0 quality of work, like it wasn't super. I didn't feel like it moved it. I was like there's

spk_0 got to be a way to automate this. And now I'm sure there is. This is challenging because I think

spk_0 that one of the most important parts of the first, let's say 12 months of your career is

spk_0 figuring out how to operate in an office. It's not necessarily the fact that you're moving the

spk_0 needle with your work. And so I think that when you have time free time in your job,

spk_0 it is very tempting to feel demotivated, especially like I just started my career. I want to be

spk_0 doing stuff. And that like lean into that. But maybe use that time to network both internally and

spk_0 externally in the company to understand what your coworkers are working on. Ask for, you know,

spk_0 if you want to ask for tasks from them, but figuring out exactly how the inner workings of the

spk_0 company are like going, I think is the most valuable way to spend that like downtime.

spk_0 And Tanya, I will give you a plug of another episode. I promise it'll be worth your time. We

spk_0 interviewed Dr. Laurie Santos, who is a happiness expert. She runs a course at Yale that's been the

spk_0 most popular course at Yale, which is basically how to be happy in life. And she said something in

spk_0 that interview that stuck with me. And I think it's a perfect response to your dilemma, which is about

spk_0 connecting your work to a broader mission. And they've done a ton of research on this. I think Adam

spk_0 Grant has had done some work in this space as well. We're basically like take someone like a janitor

spk_0 where the work itself might not seem entirely thrilling, but they prepped a janitor to think about,

spk_0 okay, how does your work enable maybe other people to do the great work or enable the

spk_0 mission, the company to fulfill its mission? And then they evaluated happiness in the control

spk_0 group and the test group. And they found that when people were able to connect their work to a

spk_0 broader mission, even if it only enabled other people to, you know, go do that mission, they felt

spk_0 great. And I think it's very similar to team sports. Like if you're the the punter on a football

spk_0 team, you might be in for one or two plays. It might be tough to say like, man, like I just kind of

spk_0 do the fluff work. I don't really get to participate that much. But if you're like no, like my work does

spk_0 matter. And it enables my team to go and win a game. I think that connection to a broader purpose

spk_0 is going to make you a lot happier. So I hope you work for a company whose mission you believe in.

spk_0 And then just work on connecting those the work you're doing to that mission. You'll be a lot

spk_0 happier. If you're stuck doing fluff work and you don't give a shit about the mission for the

spk_0 company you're working with, I give up. That is a tough situation. And you know, you could you could

spk_0 take some of Kayla's advice. You could go maybe try to find a different job. But I hope that's helpful.

spk_0 I think that's great. Wonderful. Let's do the final question. Let's do it. My company was acquired

spk_0 last year. And my boss and I are struggling to keep our heads above water. What adds to our stress

spk_0 is the fact that my boss is a yes man. And I am the only person on her team. I think she's afraid

spk_0 to push back against demands because she fears she could lose her job. And she has followed this

spk_0 pattern since I started a few years ago. Her lack of a backbone causes her to miss out on events

spk_0 in her personal life to a concerning degree. Priorities change not just every week, but every few

spk_0 hours. And I worry I am not able to focus on projects that would help me grow in my career because

spk_0 I am wearing so many hats. I am deeply concerned she is someone who would throw me under the bus

spk_0 if I made a mistake because I am unable to keep up with shifting priorities. Distress is affecting

spk_0 my physical health as well. I would love your advice. Ben. Ben, this is a tough one. Ben, come

spk_0 in. Sit down with mom and dad. Think we have to have a different situation. Any any time I see

spk_0 it is affecting my physical health. That requires an intervention. Your work should not be making

spk_0 you physically ill. It sounds like this relationship is not good at the office. And I would try to

spk_0 if you have not had it in the past, one difficult conversation about this and see if it progresses.

spk_0 And if not, unfortunately the future of your career is somewhat guided by your manager,

spk_0 what they do, their behaviors, their perception in the company. And if you have a difficult

spk_0 conversation, that doesn't change. You're not enjoying the relationship. It is hurting your career

spk_0 and it's making you physically ill. You got to get out of there. Yeah. I agree. I think the

spk_0 reality is like it is very possible that your boss is concerned for a reason, right? That she is

spk_0 freaked out. She's unable to push back because she knows that maybe her boss does not take well

spk_0 to criticism or does not take well to push back. However, it is her job as a manager to kind of

spk_0 protect you from that as much as possible. And we've definitely been in situations, well,

spk_0 I've definitely been in a situation where I felt like I was getting a lot of varied

spk_0 and inconsistent prioritization. And it was very hard for me to protect my direct report on

spk_0 that front, but also necessary for the health of our relationship and our work. And so I think that

spk_0 you are probably one difficult conversation away from getting some clarity there.

spk_0 Even if she continues to have that behavior, it does feel like you need to at least bring up

spk_0 if you haven't the fact that it's not going well for you. And it sounds like she's very concerned

spk_0 about her career. So she would be concerned about yours too. And I think highlighting this is

spk_0 a problem for me would make her maybe see the light a little bit. Yeah, I think go through all that

spk_0 and just it sounds like get final clarity on the situation. I think the last resort nuclear

spk_0 option, you take the case and you press the red button is you go above your manager. But that is

spk_0 like a you know, do not do this unless you've done your due diligence and you're and you're like

spk_0 putting your career at risk, but you've come to the conclusion you have to. And like you could

spk_0 have a conversation with her boss and say like, hey, I've documented all this stuff. Priorities

spk_0 are changing like I can't work with her and it's kind of me or her. If you're willing to go there,

spk_0 like you really love the company and you want to stay there, it's worth shooting that final shot.

spk_0 Just know like that's your final shot, Ben. That could backfire.

spk_0 Back it backfire big. So make sure you are comfortable hitting the nuclear button.

spk_0 Especially because she's you know, you've mentioned that she's missed out on important

spk_0 personal events because of work. Like she probably that shows where her her priorities are.

spk_0 Yeah. So you know, do a skip level. Yeah. Yeah. Ben, Ben, right? Please, we need nothing.

spk_0 If you need to come in here with the studio, we will welcome you in the studio.

spk_0 I wish you well. Keep us posted. And thank you all for the lovely questions. This was super fun.

spk_0 This was really fun. I enjoyed that a lot. The voice notes kind of made my heart say.

spk_0 That was I can't believe we haven't heard those. Yeah, that was amazing. That was very cute.

spk_0 Um, I hope everyone resolves their situation perfectly with our advice. Obviously it's going to happen.

spk_0 And if you have additional questions, please email us or send us a voice note at per my last email

spk_0 at MorningBrew.com. As you've seen, we love receiving these. We respond to every listener email.

spk_0 And you might hear your question on a later date. Pretty exciting. Thanks for writing in.

spk_0 Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. So we roll the credits. Let's do it. Our producer

spk_0 is Michaela Hack, our technical director is your channel. My go. Our sound engineer is Brittany Dittaco.

spk_0 And our president is Devon Emily. This show is a reduction of Morning Brew. Thank you so much for listening.

spk_0 From our last email at MorningBrew.com. Send us in.

From “Yes Man” Bosses to Conflicting Feedback: We Answer Your Career Advice Questions

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