Episode 29: Married To Shame

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 Welcome to the Marriage Counselor's Corner.

spk_0 Right this way, your therapist will see you shortly.

spk_0 In the meantime, sit back, kick your feet up on the couch, and get ready to focus on adding

spk_0 very valuable tools to your Mirrors Toolkit.

spk_0 And now your host the Marriage Counselor, David Taylor.

spk_0 What's up guys?

spk_0 Yeah, guess what?

spk_0 I'm back.

spk_0 That's right, I am back.

spk_0 My name is David Taylor and I am your host.

spk_0 Yes, it is true.

spk_0 I am back in the booth.

spk_0 Finally, after taking off, probably I don't know half a year, more than half a year now.

spk_0 I'm here, y'all.

spk_0 I'm here. I promise I'm alive.

spk_0 Everything is going well.

spk_0 And I promise you, I have been very, very, very busy.

spk_0 This is good though.

spk_0 I'm not the same person that I was since the last episode for starters.

spk_0 You can now officially call me Dr. David Taylor.

spk_0 Yes, I successfully defended my dissertation in January and then I graduated this past May with my doctorate.

spk_0 I finally have that busy and demanding doctorate program behind me, y'all.

spk_0 That's why I'm back and I'm energized and I'm focused.

spk_0 And guess what?

spk_0 We've also rebranded our primary marriage related business from mastering marriage to the mastering marriage institute.

spk_0 And that in and of itself is a huge undertaking as I have also updated all of our website.

spk_0 See, I got some stuff for you with some new additions that many of you will be excited to learn about.

spk_0 So stick around for details on that later.

spk_0 So yes, I'm here y'all. I'm missed y'all.

spk_0 I've gotten tons and tons and tons of messages.

spk_0 Even negative reviews about my absence.

spk_0 Okay, so that tells me that I should have been back a long time ago.

spk_0 So I appreciate y'all holding me accountable.

spk_0 Yes, I'm here.

spk_0 Now, some of you may be wondering, okay, why the mastering marriage institute?

spk_0 Why did we rebrand it?

spk_0 Well, you guys have heard me talk about this before, but it's my passion to be the premier reading.

spk_0 It's a resource or marriage enrichment and education.

spk_0 I want to provide more resources to enrich your marriage and to educate your marriage.

spk_0 So it is only natural that we take this next leap in our evolution.

spk_0 Now, be sure to listen out for more updates in this space as we go on,

spk_0 because I'll share with you more updates on that.

spk_0 But I'm here. I'm back.

spk_0 And now that I've reintroduced myself.

spk_0 Yeah, let's get to the reason that you came here to begin with. Let's talk about the marriage counselors corner podcast now

spk_0 if you are a normal listener or if you're new just know that this is the place where you get credible and tangible

spk_0 Marriage related information from a licensed mental health counselor and doctor over the past two decades of my clinical

spk_0 Experience I've discovered some things a lot of things actually that work to make your marriage healthy

spk_0 So I want you to see these episodes as a master class and marriage where I take a psychological and practical approach to marriage education and

spk_0 Enrichment and this is episode number 29 and and today's episode and today's session and today's meeting

spk_0 I will be discussing a topic that

spk_0 It took me a while to develop due to how complex and deep it is actually

spk_0 This is this is a topic that's been revolving a theme that's been revolving in many of my sessions over the last few months

spk_0 Usually when there is a constant theme that comes up I lean into it to see what else is there and in doing so

spk_0 I discovered Tim Fletcher's teachings on

spk_0 Shame and was amazed with his presentation on these ideas

spk_0 So I'll be referencing him throughout the course of my teachings today and in today's session again episode number 29

spk_0 I will be discussing shame now more specifically because I need y'all to I need y'all to listen

spk_0 More specifically I will be discussing what shame is

spk_0 Where it comes from and how shame impacts the way people show up in their marriages

spk_0 Now this information is way tea and pretty dense. It's a lot there

spk_0 However, I will attempt to deconstruct it in a manner that is tangible and easily understood

spk_0 Now although this information is for your marriage

spk_0 This information is mainly for you the spouse as

spk_0 Most people bring their shame with them into their marriage in all actuality most people are

spk_0 Married to their shame. That's right. You heard that correctly now

spk_0 Before you disqualify yourself into thinking that this topic has nothing to do with you

spk_0 Just stick around a little you just might be pleasantly

spk_0 surprised

spk_0 first off

spk_0 Shame is not merely any motion. Oh, and y'all we got started we we already started, okay?

spk_0 So just go ahead and get your pen and pat because we're gonna dive in today

spk_0 So but anyway shame is not merely in emotion

spk_0 Actually shame is a core belief shame is less about how you feel and more about what and how you think about yourself

spk_0 Shame is a core belief that you often

spk_0 Won't be aware of it lurks in the shadows of our subconscious and our conscious

spk_0 But it's lurking but it's in the shadows. So you ain't gonna see it see shame can be defined as a

spk_0 skewed sense of self

spk_0 It is about seeing yourself as not lovable not valuable not good enough or less than it affects how you see

spk_0 Your identity

spk_0 Now speaking of core beliefs

spk_0 Core beliefs are beliefs and thoughts that happen on an automatic and subconscious level

spk_0 these are thoughts that frame and

spk_0 Shape how you interact with the world around you and these are thoughts that ultimately influence how you show up inside of your marriage

spk_0 More on that in a bit

spk_0 See, I need to take the time to go through this because some of you

spk_0 Probably a lot of y'all we be in an honest

spk_0 Will most likely disqualify yourself because on the surface you think that you're good enough you go to church you

spk_0 Quote your scriptures and you speak your affirmations you smile at yourself in the mirror

spk_0 Your appear optimistic you feed the homeless and thus you believe that shame has no hold on you

spk_0 That is

spk_0 Until I start asking questions

spk_0 But again, I'm getting ahead of myself see the main point here though is that shame is

spk_0 Not easy to pick up on in most people because we have an instinctual drive to be seen as all-tristic

spk_0 We want to be seen as good enough even when we don't believe it

spk_0 So we cover the shame with muscles with a full beard with fake eyelashes

spk_0 With makeup with bbls with name brands and Instagram filters

spk_0 We hide it well y'all we do we do a good job of hiding it well

spk_0 however

spk_0 There is one place where I have found shame to be exposed

spk_0 The most

spk_0 That place is inside of your marriage

spk_0 I have found that if you have shame

spk_0 It will most certainly show up inside of your marriage

spk_0 Now before I can get to that

spk_0 It's important for me to speak briefly on where shame comes from

spk_0 And for this I will be referencing Tim Fletcher's teachings because of how concise they are

spk_0 First of all shame happens as a result of

spk_0 Us not getting what we should have gotten during the formative years of our childhoods

spk_0 The formative years are the first seven to eight years of a child's life

spk_0 How the child experiences these years sets the stage for how they will experience the rest of their lives

spk_0 So think of these first seven to eight years of your life as the foundation that holds up all of the rest of your life

spk_0 That means y'all that

spk_0 You never will truly deviate from the path of thinking and feeling that you developed

spk_0 During these first seven to eight years and I know I know that sounds weird

spk_0 But walk with me, okay? Just stay with me. I got you

spk_0 There's more to see here y'all this let's go a little deeper

spk_0 To add to that

spk_0 If you have dealt with trauma during those years

spk_0 You would most likely have shame issues to some extent

spk_0 Now I know I'm using the word issues. So again some of you guys will try to disqualify yourselves

spk_0 But just stick with me for a little while please just for a little while

spk_0 I know I haven't been around in a minute so some of y'all don't know me that well, but just just walk with me

spk_0 Now if you have dealt with complex trauma the chances of you struggling with shame goes even higher

spk_0 Again before you disqualify yourself

spk_0 I want you to think of trauma as something that happens inside of you

spk_0 after something

spk_0 happens to you

spk_0 I say this because most people only think of complex trauma when they hear the word trauma and

spk_0 Complex trauma are things like abuse of any kind

spk_0 molestation abandonment divorce

spk_0 illnesses

spk_0 death

spk_0 Accidents or injuries it could even be things like bullying right but there are other things that are treated as traumatic that perhaps were more

spk_0 discrete

spk_0 Again, try not to disqualify yourself here instead. Let's see what is true for you

spk_0 With what I am about to share because we're gonna talk about some of these things

spk_0 Think of it from this angle all babies. I mean all babies

spk_0 Come into this world looking to be loved

spk_0 It is inherent in who we are as humans

spk_0 As we mature into our childhood this desire to be loved shifts into questions that we often ask

spk_0 See we want to be desired. We want to have value. We want to feel good enough

spk_0 We want someone to have a relationship with us. We want to feel connected

spk_0 But keep in mind

spk_0 These aren't questions that a child will verbalize rather they are looking for evidences to answer these questions

spk_0 They are looking to the mirrors of their life to answer those unasked questions

spk_0 Usually those initial questions sound something like this

spk_0 Do I have value and how much value do I have do I matter?

spk_0 Do I have anything to offer am I lovable am I desirable?

spk_0 Am I important and my significant? Am I good?

spk_0 Now again

spk_0 They will not verbalize these questions because often these are kids these are children, right?

spk_0 So they may not even have the words to say but these are things that are thought and felt and instead they are looking for the answers

spk_0 Reflected back to them by the mirrors of their lives

spk_0 So those mirrors begin with mom and dad, right your guardians how they treated you as a child

spk_0 How they communicated to you as a child all those things mirrored back to you whether you had value

spk_0 And if you were lovable in a healthy home the child will get a healthy reflection mirrored back to them

spk_0 They may get a message that they have great inherent value

spk_0 That love is not predicated on what you do but rather who you are

spk_0 But in an unhealthy home

spk_0 They get the opposite

spk_0 They learn that feeling loved is about performance

spk_0 About presentation

spk_0 or progress

spk_0 That to be worthy of your parents love means that you have to

spk_0 Earn it

spk_0 They learn love is conditional

spk_0 Now

spk_0 This isn't just the extremes though. So here are some very discrete ways

spk_0 To get back a negative reflection from your parents or those closest to you because sometimes it's not just about the parents

spk_0 It's about siblings and other people that are also influential in your childhood

spk_0 See if anything that I'm about to list

spk_0 Resonates with what you experienced while growing up remember. I want you to qualify yourself not disqualify yourself

spk_0 So instead of trying to find out how this is not true

spk_0 I want you to ask yourself in what ways is or are these things true

spk_0 Okay, so here are a few things

spk_0 I want to see what resonates and these are things that you will get mirrored back from you

spk_0 You may have got married back from you from your parents

spk_0 So if you shared your opinion and you were laughed at or not taken seriously

spk_0 This perhaps communicated that you were stupid or lacked anything of value to contribute

spk_0 If you were belittled like being told that you would never amount to anything you are a failure

spk_0 You are always doing wrong things being clumsy or embarrassing that could have also

spk_0 Reflected back to you that something was wrong with you

spk_0 If you were compared to other family members or individuals who they saw as successful

spk_0 If you were blamed for your parents problems

spk_0 If you were not allowed to express your emotions or communicate your thoughts

spk_0 Right if you grew up in the 80s you probably heard this kids should be seen not heard

spk_0 Right

spk_0 If you had to deal with a parent or parents not following through on their words or promises

spk_0 I promise I'm gonna come visit you today and today ends up becoming a week

spk_0 Are you sitting on the porch waiting for a parent to show up and they never showed up right?

spk_0 That's another reflection that you probably got

spk_0 More are if there was a lack of discipline or healthy boundaries

spk_0 Or if there was neglect or emotionally unavailable parents perhaps due to working too much

spk_0 Due to their own issues due to illnesses due to having too many kids due to divorce

spk_0 Alcoholism drug use right all those things

spk_0 If your parents or caregivers were all about image and presentation

spk_0 Also this could come from having parents who only rewarded you when you achieved something or if you were constantly criticized

spk_0 Another one is if there was a lack of nurturing or affection or validation

spk_0 Maybe your parents value system also reflected a message

spk_0 See I have worked with teens who were in perfectly healthy shape

spk_0 But developed an eating disorder due to one of their parents being you know either thin or

spk_0 imposing this value on them about their body image

spk_0 Here's another one that I've personally experienced and this was me David

spk_0 Going to school when I was a kid and having to wear my sister's boyfriend's hand me down clothes while everybody else got to wear their new

spk_0 Clothes during you know that first week of school when everybody's wearing their new clothes and shoes

spk_0 I got the hand me down clothes. That's another thing that could have contributed to shame

spk_0 Another one is abandonment see Tim flexure says that

spk_0 This sends perhaps the greatest message of shame and self-worth

spk_0 So if you were abandoned if you were

spk_0 Adoption or in the adoption system

spk_0 That's another huge contributor to having a negative self reflection

spk_0 Also not being able to make a distinction between who the child is and what they do

spk_0 See in a healthy family the child can do something bad or something wrong

spk_0 But still be loved and not seen as a bad child on the flip side with a shame a child can do something bad

spk_0 And is treated as a bad child

spk_0 In some cases the parents will even withhold love attention or validation from that child when they do something wrong

spk_0 Right, so these if you is I want you to listen to those things and maybe some of those resonated with your experience

spk_0 While growing up those are things that can contribute to shame think of the difference between guilt and shame as guilt is

spk_0 I do something wrong so I feel wrong where a shame says I did something wrong

spk_0 So I am a bad person or I'm a wrong person right that's the difference between guilt and shame now

spk_0 These things the things that I just mentioned from your parents

spk_0 These things will send a message to you a reflection to you about your worth

spk_0 The child will tend to use these reflections as a way to

spk_0 answer the questions that

spk_0 They already are asking themselves about self-worth

spk_0 Value and whether or not they are lovable

spk_0 So that's just the parent mirror. There's a lot of mirrors. I'm just gonna give you a few

spk_0 Right here's another mirror that also reflects back to the child and at this point maybe the teenager

spk_0 Images about their self-worth a major

spk_0 Mirror is Hollywood culture and social media

spk_0 Right, there are constant messages on beauty standards and attraction and desire

spk_0 That are perpetuated in the media and these standards are often captured by us regular individuals as what normal should be

spk_0 So we look at what they're doing as celebrities with all the money and the makeup and resources it means and they will say well wait

spk_0 Even though I'm normal I should be at that standard or I should look that way or I should my body should be shaped that way

spk_0 Now, Abra you ain't got that kind of money in those resources, right?

spk_0 See physical attraction is celebrated. This is why for many women they won't go outside

spk_0 Without their faces on okay, not all y'all okay. Don't get on me. I just got to speak my truth

spk_0 Or for many guys they want to portray the illusion of strength and bravado

spk_0 So go to any gym and you're gonna see a bunch of guys

spk_0 Convincing themselves by looking in the literal mirror that they are strong enough right and

spk_0 They have this idea that this equal self-worth okay, so that's another major mirror

spk_0 Hollywood culture. This is why like if you grew up in the 80s and 90s all the action heroes had muscles

spk_0 Right they all were strong think of Arnold Schwarzenegger

spk_0 Sylvester Stallone right these are guys that when you look at them in Rambo or these movies that portrayed these

spk_0 Super action heroes they all had muscles and strength and chisel jaws right?

spk_0 This is what they look like that was the illusion of attraction. That's another mirror another mirror another massive mirror

spk_0 Is the school and education system? Heck the whole grading system is

spk_0 Performance base. It's a performance based metric and I'm not saying that it is not useful

spk_0 But let's be clear. We all want to be seen as the smart kids the ones capable of getting straight A's and A's make us feel competent

spk_0 C's D's and F's

spk_0 Don't I remember growing up in grade school getting free McDonald's vouchers for being on the honor roll

spk_0 I felt smart and the school reinforced that right but those who didn't achieve that honor roll

spk_0 Well, guess what they were beneath me

spk_0 It was literally called the honor roll or in some cases the deans list. I made the list

spk_0 Right I had one client

spk_0 Graduate at the head of her class in high school because she felt that this would get her family to love her more

spk_0 Only to find herself feeling unfulfilled

spk_0 After achieving that milestone her shame was reinforced even after getting a high GPA

spk_0 Also

spk_0 Social groups and school become a mirror that impacts the child's self-concept

spk_0 So that's another mirror to look into

spk_0 Another major mirror that we're going to talk about a little bit is the church

spk_0 Don't crucify me. I'm here to speak truth. I know my purpose. Okay, but the church

spk_0 is another massive mirror

spk_0 See some of you guys have dealt with shame because of church hurt

spk_0 You went to the church looking to find a loving God only to find a God little G God who judged you for the way you talked

spk_0 For how scripturally inept you were for the fact that you didn't give enough on your tithes and offerings or you missed your six a.m.

spk_0 Prayer call

spk_0 Some of you gave your pastor permission to shame blame you

spk_0 Because you didn't give to the building fund or you didn't lift your hands high enough during praise and worship

spk_0 Some of you felt the pressure to fit into a church culture that was established on the foundation of

spk_0 Fake and phony and I hear all the stories all the horror stories. You know, I hear them

spk_0 You weren't allowed to be your true self at church and thus you left feeling unseen

spk_0 Unclean and an outcast more on that in the bit

spk_0 Let's be honest marriage can be hard even good couples here rough seasons were communication breaks down

spk_0 Trust is shaken or you just start to feel more like roommates than partners

spk_0 But it doesn't have to stay that way at the master marriage institute. We believe your marriage is worth fighting for and

spk_0 Healing is possible

spk_0 That's why we've created our brand new virtual mirrors workshops

spk_0 Led by a licensed mental health therapist with over 20 years of clinical experience

spk_0 This isn't your typical marriage advice or one size fits all contents

spk_0 These two day workshops are interactive deeply practical and rooted in both biblical truth and real clinical insights

spk_0 Whether you're newly married or decades in this is your chance to take intentional steps towards

spk_0 Stronger and healthier marriage, but here's the catch

spk_0 Space is limited to just 30 couples in our first cohort

spk_0 So every couple gets the attention and support they need

spk_0 So don't wait until things get worse

spk_0 Visit mastery marriage institute dot com today to register and secure your spot

spk_0 That's mastery marriage institute dot com

spk_0 Your marriage is worthy investment. Let's take the first step together

spk_0 Okay

spk_0 Okay, so by now you have most likely qualified yourself based on one or many of those aforementioned mirrors

spk_0 Now I want to briefly and I do mean briefly

spk_0 talk about how shame impacts the marriage

spk_0 And I want to give you four ways that shame can impact your marriage now

spk_0 This is important because if you have qualified yourself

spk_0 Now I want you to start looking at the ways that this impacts and impedes your marriage

spk_0 So the first way that shame can impact your marriage is this shame makes the marriage and your spouse

spk_0 Responsible for fixing in the present the broken pieces of you that your past produced

spk_0 See we often bring with us our brokenness

spk_0 From our past and we put them on full display in the present and we're expecting our marriage

spk_0 Again, it's a subconscious

spk_0 But we're expecting our marriage to fix those things that are broken

spk_0 This is why we say things like I want you to complete me or you complete me or you're my better half right

spk_0 We're often looking to fill those holes with the things that our spouse bring with them

spk_0 To us that we feel we need from them. So again shame makes the marriage

spk_0 And your spouse responsible for fixing in you what they did not break. Okay, that's important

spk_0 Now because of time

spk_0 Limitations I'm not going to sit here and talk about what to do with this

spk_0 You're going to have to come visit me for that or come hang out at one of our

spk_0 Weekend workshops. We'll talk about that in a minute

spk_0 But I want you to be thinking about that. Here's another way that shame

spk_0 Impacts the marriage number two shame limits your ability to truly be loved by your spouse

spk_0 After all, how can they truly see the real you if shame is your projection

spk_0 See we often aren't aware of what we are projecting

spk_0 And so if we are projecting shame or shame-based actions and attitudes and thought processes

spk_0 We aren't really showing our true self

spk_0 And as a byproduct you're going to find yourself fully

spk_0 Unloved by your spouse maybe it's because they don't know how to love you because they don't know how to love you

spk_0 But maybe it's because they don't know how to love you because you aren't showing the person

spk_0 Of you that needs to be loved by them. There's a distinction

spk_0 Hopefully you get it sometimes they can't love you because you're not even positioning your true self to be loved

spk_0 Okay, because shame can limit how much of you you show them

spk_0 Often shame will cause you to hide

spk_0 To cover up to produce a distorted perspective of who you really are

spk_0 Let me go to the next one number three shame. I just used this word shame distorts reality

spk_0 And shame can cause you to misread what your

spk_0 Spouse is actually saying to you

spk_0 Shame can cause you to hear things that they did not say because you're constantly interpreting

spk_0 gaps filling in the information

spk_0 You will tend to interpret things in a way to confirm the shame that is protecting you

spk_0 Yes

spk_0 Your shame is often protecting you and as humans we're often

spk_0 Actually, we're usually looking for confirmation in all of the things all the areas of our life

spk_0 So you guys have probably heard of confirmation bias. That's what it looks like right if I'm outside with you

spk_0 And I say hey look at that cloud looks like Mickey Mouse and then your mind you like not

spk_0 I don't look like no Mickey Mouse, but in my mind

spk_0 I have to confirm that to be true

spk_0 So it I'm seeing that even though it may not even look like that, okay?

spk_0 The same can be the case in the marriage

spk_0 You just rejected me you just rejected a bit. Well, maybe you didn't but maybe my shame is distorting

spk_0 Your actions, okay?

spk_0 Causing me to hear something that you did not say

spk_0 Causing you to read too deeply into something that they did not say and trust me

spk_0 I see this all the time in marriages

spk_0 Number four here's just the fourth way there are more than four ways by the way guys

spk_0 But I just want to give you four here's another important way that shame can impact your marriage is shame causes you to live

spk_0 in a perpetual state of coping

spk_0 Well, this is a good one emotions like anger anxiety depression self-pity defensiveness even something like complex PTSD

spk_0 Right these things become how you react to conflicts in your marriage

spk_0 Instead of using healthy coping skills and healthy coping tools as a matter of fact if you are wrestling with shame

spk_0 You probably don't have a lot of healthy coping tools

spk_0 Because you've gotten so used to using shame as a way to protect you

spk_0 And so that becomes a perpetual state of coping some people who struggle with shame find themselves often in a perpetual loop of drama and conflict

spk_0 Something always is going on some issue

spk_0 some unresolved situation some new situation, but it's always something coming up every day every week

spk_0 It's often because they need this shame this issue because they're used to coping with it a certain way

spk_0 And we don't like to abandon how we cope okay, so listen I could stay there. I could go even deeper with this because

spk_0 Huh, this is just a tip of the iceberg, but I didn't want to you know me coming back after a couple months a lot of months of

spk_0 Off the air. I didn't want to overwhelm you guys with a lot of information

spk_0 I just wanted to say I'm back in I'm back. I'm back in the booth

spk_0 so

spk_0 I will most likely spend a whole other session

spk_0 whole other episode just to cover these four things and probably add to those

spk_0 Now if I have more time I will go deeper, but I want to spare you guys

spk_0 But instead I invite you to reach out to me

spk_0 If you like to go deeper with this concept like if you're wrestling with shame and you've seen it show up in your marriage

spk_0 You maybe have complex PTSD or some other issue that's just plaguing your mayors

spk_0 plaguing how you show up

spk_0 Reach out to me if you don't want to wait until I do another episode

spk_0 I implore you to email me directly at David at Marpe in May RPE

spk_0 Services.com and you can get on my calendar and I know many of you guys are reached out and you've often said hey

spk_0 Dave man, it's it's tough to get a hold of you. It's because I've been busy y'all have been I've been very busy

spk_0 And I've been busy working with many of you guys many of my listeners reach out and they get on the calendar

spk_0 So keep doing that

spk_0 In the meantime though, I want to give you an action item

spk_0 For your action item I want you to answer these two questions. They're only two. Okay, I want you to answer these questions number one

spk_0 What mirrors have caused the most shame in my life now?

spk_0 I just only went through a few right your parenting mirror

spk_0 Hollywood culture and social media

spk_0 school and education

spk_0 church

spk_0 Right, those are just a few mirrors

spk_0 There are more but of those that I mentioned

spk_0 Have any of those caused shame and to what degree and then number two of the four ways that shame can impact your marriage

spk_0 Which of those ways are relevant to you in your marriage

spk_0 So those four ways that I went over of how shame impacts the marriage which of those are relevant to you and your marriage

spk_0 Okay, and I just want you to focus on those two questions

spk_0 Okay, just focus on those two as your action item

spk_0 so

spk_0 Let's let's do this because I'm gonna wrap up here, but I just want you to know I just I want to spark a

spk_0 deeper level of self-awareness right now

spk_0 I don't want to we don't have to go deeper into the like the solutions yet

spk_0 I want you self-aware. I want you thinking about these things the healing and the growth will come it'll come

spk_0 Trust me, but I want you to be more aware of

spk_0 Where this impacts you the most okay?

spk_0 Well, here's what I'll do. I'll wrap up here

spk_0 Just know that it is my desire that both you and your spouse

spk_0 You this information to take your marriage to the next level

spk_0 But remember you only get out of your marriage what you put into your marriage not what you want from your marriage

spk_0 So get to work putting in the work

spk_0 Anyway guys, I just want to say thank you for coming into your session at the marriage counsellors corner

spk_0 Join me in the next episode where we're gonna talk about another very important topic that you don't want to miss out on

spk_0 Also, please remember visit our brand new website. I hope you like it. I hope it's beautiful

spk_0 I hope you can go through it and understand it much more seamlessly. I hope everything works out for you

spk_0 I want you to visit the website. I want you to go down scroll down a little bit on the homepage

spk_0 And I want you to sign up for our brand new

spk_0 Weekend marriage workshops. These are something that we're excited to

spk_0 You know offer the general public because people have been asking how can we work with you guys in this capacity?

spk_0 So now we finally open the doors. Okay, so I don't want you to delay in your registration

spk_0 Okay, cuz it's based off of first come first serve

spk_0 So only 30 couples can spend this time with us at first

spk_0 And then we'll expand it to more in our next couple. Okay, finally

spk_0 Finally, we are providing a resource that many of you have been requesting so go to

spk_0 mastering marriage institute.com that's mastering marriage institute.com to sign up today

spk_0 Also remember to subscribe to the podcast leave me an honest rating and review and I will thank you when you do that

spk_0 That way other individuals can have access to these episodes. Okay, and I'll greatly appreciate that

spk_0 anyways go out there and be smart be intentional stay out of trouble and I'll talk to you soon

spk_0 deuces

spk_0 Thanks for stopping by for your seat on the couch at the marriage counselors corner

spk_0 Remember go to marriagecouncerscorner.com to schedule your next session

spk_0 Also, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so that you never miss a session

spk_0 We look forward to having you back on the couch soon. Bye bye now

Episode 29: Married To Shame

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